Mathew Naismith

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Passing the buck: Do we all pass the buck at one time or another?

This is actually in reference to conversations either one on one or over the net like through sites like Ted to do with how we react to each other, when we cross swords or butt heads together is it our doing or is it the person we are in conversation with as some disagreements can get out of hand? I think it’s ours!!

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      Mar 21 2013: G’day Kate

      Having a healthy mature debate that is constructive is a good thing especially in disagreement, my whole blog is full of opposing views, but when it becomes destructive that is when we start looking at each other blaming each for the discussion becoming so destructive, this is buck passing & the reason I think we do this is so we don’t have to look at our own short falls during the discussion which usually relates to the ego &/or self-esteem or lack of.

      Love
      Mathew
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          Mar 21 2013: G'day Kate

          I would have to agree with you or am I more right than you...but of course I am what else!!!

          Yes we do think we are right even when proven wrong within a discussion but think about this, if we didn’t have an ego we wouldn't get into a hostile argument it just wouldn't happen however we do & we do allow the ego to take control over our rationality at times but of course if we weren’t so right in the first place the ego wouldn’t come into play, interesting stuff.

          Love
          Mathew
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          Mar 22 2013: G'day Kate

          I actually make my presents more known if it's something important to me & someone is being unruly subjective in some way, I take certain discussion probably too serious plus my ego no doubt plays a part as well in my own indiscretions.

          In saying this I have also been known to be a little absence myself but usually not before I voiced my objections.

          Love
          Mathew
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    Mar 20 2013: You need to define what it means to "pass the buck". Doesn't rationality demand that we should not accept responsibility for a specific circumstance if we are not, in fact, responsible for that circumstance? Is the phrase "passing the buck" built upon the idea of refusing to accept rightful responsibility? Am I passing the buck if I refuse to accept responsibility for a circumstance over which I had no control?
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      Mar 20 2013: G’day Edward
      That’s the thing Edward, when we are in a disagreeable conversation with someone we have control if we wish to continue a conversation in a more aggressive manner or not so even if the other person is wrong or is being irresponsible shouldn’t we be more responsible instead of blaming the others person for the indiscretion because really it doesn’t matter who is right or wrong but it does matter who is more responsible & I don’t mean responsible that one should just take the blame but who is more sensible/mature.

      The thing is I can find myself in a heated arguments quite easily & I think this has a lot to do with self-esteem/egotisms as it is with all heated discussions I would think.

      Love
      Mathew
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        Mar 20 2013: Mathew, You are using the phrase "pass the buck" in a non-traditional way. When someone expresses disagreement with us, even in a rude, disrespectful way, we can respond in kind, or we can be, as you say, more sensible and mature. Are you saying that to react in the less-mature, descend to their level, way is a form of passing the buck? I need convincing if you are saying that. Also, I need convincing that it doesn't matter who is right or wrong. I think discovery of truth by unmasking error is the highest purpose of any conversation, collaboration, or debate. That makes two issues upon which we disagree. I am watching closely to see how you react to the resulting tension. :-D
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          Mar 21 2013: G’day Edward

          Yes it’s a funny way that I have labelled one’s own bad behaviour in a conversation as passing the buck.

          The way I see it Edward is if someone is rude to you, let’s say, & you take offence & reply back in the same manner & you blame the other person in whom you have been talking too of causing trouble in the first place this is buck passing because the emphasis is still in how you respond. For example I don’t like being duped or lied to in a serious conversation & I usually retaliate by having ago at them back which escalates to an argument, am I passing the buck in the first place by my reactions to the other persons initial response to me? I really should have been more responsible in the first place!!

          There are debates & conversations & then there are debates & conversations that get way out of hand to the point of even calling each other names which I have been a part of, in this sort of exchange we tend to blame the other for their indiscretion & stop to think how indiscreet we have been which to me is buck passing.

          Love
          Mathew
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        Mar 21 2013: RE: "Yes it's a funny way. . . " Whether we call it buck passing or being mature the point is we should strive to keep our wits about us when others are getting irate. I agree completely sir. Thank you!
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    Mar 20 2013: I am not sure if being unable to hear a person's voice or see facial expressions is a draw back in TED like conversations. In real life conversations these additional information can well distract us from the content of discussion.
    I believe the buck stops at me. It is my choice to trust the sincerity of a disembodied conversation like in TED.
  • Mar 20 2013: As you know, not hearing a person's voice nor facial expressions, is a huge draw back when in a conversation with one or more people. A small misunderstanding can get blown out of all proportion. Both parties are equally at fault.
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    Mar 20 2013: Some more than others. Perhaps it is more about what is acceptable than integrity?
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      Mar 20 2013: G'day Pat

      I think it's become accepted like lying which is a shame because it doesn't have to be that way, it seems strange that we don't want to be responsible anymore, an irresponsible society is a chaotic society. Don't get me wrong I also pass the buck especially when OI lock horns with someone as I tend to blame them for the disagreement.

      Love
      Mathew
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        Mar 21 2013: Yes blame is interesting as in one fell swoop I make you responsible and me irresponsible. That is kind of stupid as the responsible bird gets the worm.