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Michael Rose

Child, Adolescent & Family Therapist, Youth in Need

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How can we help to prevent bullying?

As a society that revels in TV series such as Honey Boo Boo, Jersey Shore and other "Reality" TV shows, how are we supposed to stop bullying within schools?

If we preach what to do or what not to do when confronted by bullying behaviors, but never follow through with consequences, how can we expect our students to continue to have faith in the faculty's true want to get rid of bullying.

How can we expect our children to stop bullying if we, as grown ups, are watching these shows.... making fun of the people on them, judging them, calling them names?

How can we change the structure of learning to help increase education, not only in the academic sense, but also in the sense of what it means to be a human being?

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    Scott Bell

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    Mar 16 2013: We are all victims and perpetrators of bullying. It exists on a scale of severity and it is practiced on a daily basis. Physical bullying is what we focus on because it is most obvious in its manifestation. It is easy for our minds to kick around as a problem-solution set. We think we can solve it. ALL bullying, whether it is individual or collective, is an EGOIC PROJECTION. This is the ego either building or reinforcing its walls. One of the reasons we suffer as a society on this issue is that we have misperceived ourselves as MUCH MORE separate from one another than what actually is the reality. We are very connected. Take a bully.....She wakes up in the morning. A parent berates/threatens/bullies her before school. The Ego is diminished. Ego suffers. To bounce back, the Ego rebuilds and reinforces its own walls by diminishing the walls of another (consider this a rule of the game we play). She then bullies on her own thereby reinforcing her own walls and providing a temporary feeling of greater wholeness. The one she bullies is left to transfer the BullyJuice either to someone else or turn it upon themselves as self-hatred. Bullying is NOT a single event nor is it a series of separated events. It is a FLOW that moves through the world in which we live. SO, what must be done to interrupt the BullyFlow? This is our ego talking. The one that says "we can do something to interrupt the flow....some policy....some central education plan." See, We as a group.......as a hive.......as a networked species.....do NOT understand Bullying. When a society UNDERSTANDS.......truly, deeply understands a problem such as BULLYING.......the question of HOW to solve the problem disappears.......Meaningful and long-lasting solutions ALWAYS EMERGE from true understanding. We do not seek Deep understanding because the investigation ultimately leads us back to a Self Inquiry....True Self Inquiry.... The Ego doth not like that. :-)....good topic Michael
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      Colleen Steen 500+

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      Mar 16 2013: I wholeheartedly agree Scott, with your very well stated comment.

      Bullying is a projection, which reinforces the perception of seperateness. When we realize that we are all connected, we also realize that in hurting others, we are harming ourselves as well. Interesting description of the "BullyFlow".....I totally agree!
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      Don Wesley 50+

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      Mar 17 2013: Hi Scott.
      You say "We are all victims and perpetrators of bullying."
      The social studies I read say you are wrong.
      15% are the bullying type. 85% can't imagine how the 15% can do such things.
      If you need convincing just ask me for feedback and will be happy to supply.
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        Colleen Steen 500+

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        Mar 17 2013: Don,
        Could you please post the "social studies" to substantiate your claim that Scott is wrong? Thanks.

    • Wyatt Tanton

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      Mar 18 2013: I would go one step further and say that some people are just black holes or possibly vampiric, taking down the other people's walls just because that's their personality or because they like to. And some people will bash a few bricks off the top of the wall, or maybe dent a brick but nothing permanent. And sometimes people smash a giant hole in the bottom of the wall and cause the whole thing to collapse.

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