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How can we help to prevent bullying?
As a society that revels in TV series such as Honey Boo Boo, Jersey Shore and other "Reality" TV shows, how are we supposed to stop bullying within schools?
If we preach what to do or what not to do when confronted by bullying behaviors, but never follow through with consequences, how can we expect our students to continue to have faith in the faculty's true want to get rid of bullying.
How can we expect our children to stop bullying if we, as grown ups, are watching these shows.... making fun of the people on them, judging them, calling them names?
How can we change the structure of learning to help increase education, not only in the academic sense, but also in the sense of what it means to be a human being?
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ZX Style 20+
Let me explain why we must not stop the bullying.
What you often see, is that the kids who don't know how to defend themselves verbally, get bullied worst.
They don't know how or why to stand up for themselves in hard situations.
Now you can prevent the bullying from happening temporarily, but those kids remain vulnerable.
Eventually when the kid has to deal with a difficult situation things will be even harder for him, cause he was pampered.
So preventing the bullying from happening will create even more vulnerable kids!
We need to train our kids extensively to stand up for themselves.
Kids require explanation on what's happening, why it's happening, how the kids pick the target.
Because the victim does not stand up for himself, those are the easy targets.
Once he/she knows that, you can start learning techniques and strategies on how to react when it is happening.
If he calls you a nerd, what to say?
If they make fun of you, what to do?
When the kids know that, they can deal with a lot more situations in life!
This requires extensive training and empowerment.
But the kids can benefit from this a life long.
Mary M. 100+
I agree too that training kids extensively to stand up for themselves can really help.
Do you know of any online or off line programs that educates individuals who are the victims of bullies (children and adults alike)?
Colleen Steen 500+
I agree that empowerment is one way to help stop bullying, and the bully needs to be genuinely empowered as well. We do not stop bullying simply by educating the victims. We also need to educate the bullies, who generally lack self esteem and confidence. When a person is genuinely empowered, s/he has no reason to bully others. A bully, is simply showing us that s/he lacks self esteem, confidence and genuine empowerment. I do not agree with your idea that we "must not stop the bullying".
ZX Style 20+
I have some friends who after numerous remarks still are on the border of teasing/bullying.
It's for a bully more tempting to fall back in old patterns, because bullying is also empowering(but not in a healthy and genuine way).
As adults we also like to make fun of each other from time to time.
It's just in our genes and culture.
That's why i think empowering the bullying is a bit hopeless.
The key is making the victims defensible.
Colleen Steen 500+
It depends on what you mean by "helping". Educating the bully regarding the underlying elements of bullying may help....don't you think?
There is a difference between playfully bantering with friends and bullying to the point of hurting someone emotionally.
I agree....bullying is not genuinely empowering. In fact, one of the underlying intentions with bullies, is in creating fear in another person, and it is often used as a protective mechanism to keep people away from them. Sometimes, if the bully understands this concept, it may change the behavior. I learned this while co-facilitating "cognitive self change" sessions with men who were incarcerated.
The key is educating all people regarding this question.
Michael Rose
Colleen Steen 500+
Where did you get the idea that I would like to only educate one side of the issue? I clearly write..."The key is educating all people regarding this question"...."We do not stop bullying simply by educating the victims. We also need to educate the bullies, who generally lack self esteem and confidence".
I agree bullying is a behavior, and I wholeheartedly believe these behaviors can change.
Michael Rose
I agree with most of what you have posted and thank you for being such an involved member of this conversation. I will start, as I've seen you already do; addressing the person who has made the comment that I am replying to, so that there isn't any confusion in the future. Again, my apologies.
Colleen Steen 500+
You cannot comment directly to my comment because it is a 3rd level comment. See the 3 little arrows in the upper left corner of the comment....and there is no "reply" in the upper right corner? So, you figured it out and went above that.....good job:>)
Yes...it helps to put a name on comments indicating who you are responding to, so if the sequence gets mixed up, which it sometimes does, we may have a clue who the response is for.....looks like you figured that out too:>)
Again...thanks for letting me know:>)
zeng peifeng
Colleen Steen 500+
The weak do not always learn from being bullied. Are you aware of how many teenagers have ended their lives because of being bullied?
zeng peifeng
Colleen Steen 500+
One reason some people are bullied, is because the one who bullies can perceive those who are less stong in themselves. Both the bully and the victim in bullying situations lack self esteem and confidence.
With your suggestion to let it happen, we would be encouraging and reinforcing the idea that the bully can become stronger by bullying, while weakening the victim. Bullying is generally a learned behavior, so with your idea to let it happen and everyone will learn, we would be encouraging the cycle of bullying and abuse. There are many levels of bullyiing, abuse, and violation of human rights. Why would we, as a global community want to continue to encourage that cycle?