John Gianino

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Is gossip and NLP the same?

When we trust people they allow us to effect their beliefs. The small things we whisper in someone's ear can effect them if they believe you are speaking from the heart. Is this same as NLP? How can we help people with gossip? If everyone knows how to do this what will be the effect?

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    Mar 19 2013: .
    My answer:
    (1) "Gossip" ---- close symbiosis.
    (2) NLP ---- programming the habit of thinking.

    (For details, see the 1st article, points 4-7, 2(5), at
  • Mar 16 2013: Is it possible ???
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    Mar 16 2013: What happens if all our beliefs are all disprovable?
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    Mar 14 2013: Gossip as an information exchange
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      Mar 14 2013: Hi Theodore, How was Elaine's body language, tone, rhythm, content, etc conveying the information to the audience? What was the underlying message felt? Have you researched ritual magic?
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        Mar 14 2013: Respectfully, I am generally not going to respond to your questions, when you are not providing any feedback on what I have already offered up for consideration. It becomes one-sided.
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          Mar 14 2013: What kind of feedback would you like? You are a very sensible person, how do I relate to your interests?
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          Mar 14 2013: Thank you, Theodore, for promoting an exchange of ideas in lieu of a one-sided model. It is useful that you also clarified what you meant by 'feedback" in an exhange of equals. To some people "feedback" means passing judgment- saying something like that "you are a smart person" or that he thinks you can do better than that, whereas you mean by "feedback" to share his own thoughts and ideas in an authentic way.
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        Mar 14 2013: your thoughts, if you had any as it relates to "gossip"
        Be authentic.
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          Mar 14 2013: Gossip is ancient. Its powerful. It is used in culture to communicate heart felt interests and personal interests. When we speak authentically and sincerely to one another we engage our true genius.
  • Mar 13 2013: for Gossip I can say:

    Great Minds discuss ideas,
    Average Minds discuss thinks
    Little Minds discuss people.

    for NLP I can say it depends on who and how uses it.

    NLP was created based on Hypnosis, Communication (verbal and nonverbal), Linguistics and Neuro science.
    if you think these things do not work, then NLP doesn't work either.

    bear in mind, Nothing is created by itself, and nothing grows by itself.

    you also asked: "HOW can we help people with gossip?"
    I ask: "which people exactly are we talking about here?"

    How can everyone know everything? if we all are unique and different, doesn't this mean, we all love / learn / use different people / things?
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      Mar 13 2013: Can you supply any scientific research a scientific paper, that demonstrate positive results?
      • Mar 14 2013: the achievement of a man.'s_Use_of_Hidden_Hypnosis_techniques_in_His_Speeches.pdf

        you may argue for the results that Milton Erickson and Virginia Satir achieved in their lifetime.
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      Mar 13 2013: Re: "When we trust people they allow us to effect their beliefs. "
      Does this sentence even make sense? Who's the we, they, and us?
      It implies that if I trust you, you will allow me to influence your beliefs. This sounds like a magic trick.

      Additionally, scientific evidence reveals NLP to be a largely discredited pseudoscience. Are we to compare gossip to pseudoscience? Do we need a better understanding of the questioner understanding of NLP?
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          Mar 13 2013: No, actually since you were the first to reply to this question I was asking for your thoughts.
      • Mar 13 2013: Hi Theodore

        "scientific evidence reveals NLP to be a largely discredited pseudoscience"

        this sentence is already NLP based sentence,
        When you say "Scientists discovered that ...", "Scientific evidence shows that..." "Experience shows that ...", it can confer an air of authority. after hearing / reading sentences starting this way no average brain would question it, it would be accepted as a proven fact. if you talk like this to people you start to build consensus. one of the core principles of influence.

        but as I haven't got that average brain I would ask you the following question;

        How exactly do you know?

        did you also know that Freudian Psychoanalysis paid attention on analyzing WHY people behave so and so and in the end the subject is given an diagnosis (but no means of cure or improvement).
        did anyone come out from a psychiatric institution as a normal person?

        once it is asked: "How many psychiatrist do wee need to change a light bulb?"
        the answer was: "One is enough, but that will take very long time."

        because they question WHY the light bulb wants to be changed? (to find a reason may take ages)
        NLP asks: HOW questions, which set human mind on fire to find solution.

        I can go on, because I am into NLP.
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          Mar 13 2013: Re: " no average brain would question it"
          This seems silly, as well unsupported to say this. Individuals develop a personal schema, which describes an organized pattern of thought or behavior. Schema resist any information that is in opposition to it's current view.
          My expectation is that people investigate any claim for them self.

          Out of 33 studies, 18.2% show results supporting the tenets of NLP, 54.5% - results non-supportive of the NLP tenets and 27.3% brings uncertain results. The qualitative analysis indicates the greater weight of the non-supportive studies and their greater methodological worth against the ones supporting the tenets. Results contradict the claim of an empirical basis of NLP."

          When you say, " I am into NLP." What does this mean, you have a degree or license from someone?

          I heard a different version of your joke: How many psychiatrist does it take to change a light build?
          The psychiatrist is still trying to find the right medication that works for the lightbulb
    • Mar 13 2013: Hi Fritzie

      "I thought neurolingusitic programming was a particular set of strategies for manipulating people's points of view and behavior"

      you have got a good point there...

      Would you say that same thing about Anthony Robbins and Zig Zalger?
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        Mar 13 2013: In the spirit of Tony Robbins, I answer such question in my talk and if you sign up and pay me money I will answer all your questions. Isn't that how it works?
        • Mar 14 2013: That's how every organisations and institutions work.

          Psychologist: I will give your the key of your locked mind if you come to my office.
          Church: I will give you God's word if you give me your gold.
          Politics: I will solve all your problems if you vote for me.

          isn't it how it works?
        • Mar 14 2013: in reply to this:

          "Out of 33 studies, 18.2% show results supporting the tenets of NLP, 54.5% - results non-supportive of the NLP tenets and 27.3% brings uncertain results."

          Placebo doesn't do miracles for everyone. (but it is on the shelves for sale and still used widely by psychologist and psychiatrist.)
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    Mar 13 2013: Isn't any form of oral communication in someway NLP?
    • Mar 13 2013: not always...

      if you are not aware of NLP techniques how can you use them? how exactly can you know you are using them for you or against you?

      we all communicate, because we simply cannot NOT communicate, but how well we communicate, that is the question.
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        Mar 14 2013: But...
        The ability to communicate via language is to effectively install/explain/share/etc something with another, therefore trying to understand or be understood. Therefore, you are quite literally programming someone with words no matter what you say, no?

        I understand that their are theories and practices within the study of NLP, in that sense I can see the direction John is coming from when questioning gossip and NLP. I wanted to extend it from there, proposing the possible idea that most already know forms of NLP, subconsciously, but obviously differ in abilities to detect it if it is being used to manipulate rather than honest gossip/conversation.