Tony Bones

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If you have a talent or ability, is it wrong to not use it?

I have a many skills and talents. Some were innate, and some were gained through painful effort. I do not have a desire for money or fame. I'm content playing my music in the comfort of my home, or writing poetry and fiction for myself. Because of this I find myself repeatedly having conversations with my friends concerning my "need" to do something with it. They tell me "it's a shame" to keep my talents to myself. Is it? And if I gave up playing music, for example, why would that be considered as some sort of crime? If you have a talent, should you feel obligated to share it with the world?

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    Mar 5 2013: It is really nice that u don`t have desire for money or fame! if all people were like u then the world would be like heaven dear! about your question: I have a motto in my life...Live your life as u like+love people around u (i mean humanity) AND enjoy your life(we won`t live twice!). It seems that u are happy with your life if it is so---->keep moving forward & enjoy your life! u can tell this to your friends that u do like your life this way,i`m sure they`ll understand u because they`re concerned about u! no matter if u give up playing music & don`t feel obligated! FOLLOW YOUR NICE "WISHES"!
    WARNING: you have to keep moving forward & improve yourself too while enjoying life!!!!!
    Good luck :)
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      Mar 5 2013: I think about that daily, a perfect world where everything is free and accessible to everyone. It would render greed obsolete and give everyone total freedom to pursue their passions to their heart's content. Now that would be a beautiful world.
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    Mar 18 2013: I think there is a vast intelligence that seeks expression through us - it is only when the talent is infused with the urge to express and the passion to realize the talent that man strives forward. So no, I don't think if you have a talent it is necessarily wrong to not share it or express it. It's only when a talent or a gift is held back and the urge to share is dampened by fear, lack of self confidence and fear of failure that makes it a tragedy.
  • Mar 5 2013: I don't see why. You don't owe the world anything.
    If you need to perform, then perform. If you just like writing songs and performing for yourself then do that.
    I know there is a HUGE difference between being a good player and being able to walk out onto the stage to perform for a crowd. They require completely different skills and may just not interest everyone.
    For instance, I know that I would make a great pope, but I am resisting the temptation to throw my big pointy hat into the ring because I know that I like to sleep in on Easter weekends.
    So it just wouldn't be a good fit.
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    Gail .

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    Mar 5 2013: If someone is not going to jump into your grave for you, you should not be giving them control over your life.
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    Mar 21 2013: Depends on what do you think your definition of talent is. I think "talent" today has negative implications, and makes people diminish or supervalorize skills, due to the "biological" or "miracle happening" semantics that comes with it.

    But your skills should be used in the way it makes you happy. Whether you like to play, write or sing to yourself or to others. Personally, as an opera singer, I think my singing skills bring an array of feelings to people, and consequently, to myself, especially joy. It is very good to see happy, astonished, sad, touched, and even bored faces on a performance. And my career, or my "survival ways" is a direct consequence of making those around me happy, and honing my musical skills.

    So, if you think you need to go on, or give up, just do what you want to!
    The only sure thing of using your skills, for me is that when you help people grow, even by just a little, you become happy. Try to create this exchange of good feelings with your skills before deciding anything!

    Best regards,
    From a fellow musician
  • Mar 19 2013: If any thing your just being selfish with it which is fine , but i say this . ...... as good as it feels to throw down on your axe, whatever it may be,it feels even better to do it with one or more people that u vibe wit. Its very synergistic. And to do that in front of a viewer who is getting energised off of your playing is a serious high. And it always feels good to inspire people .well.that's a lot of benefit from a small change and I'm not even talking about career musician type stuff. You could be jamming in the park.
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      Mar 19 2013: That's sort of where I'm at now. I use my talents to entertain my friends and help out people I like. Not too long ago I played 3 hours of jazz for a live model sketching event my friend threw. It was film noir style. The audience was ecstatic and I kept getting compliments for weeks. People came up to me saying they wanted to hire me to play their dinner parties and other events. It was fun, but I was glad when the compliments tapered off and I could enjoy my peaceful anonymity.
      • Mar 19 2013: One other thing i hate hearing myself it's when somebody says I'm wasting many talent. What does that really even mean? I know what there trying to say but just because I'm not where you think i should be does not mean I'm wasting many skills. I don't even think they are somethin that could go to waste. Like many dad says"if i had a positive effect on just line person in the world then my job is done" . You know someone with that frame of mind isn't gonna settle with one person but his point is obvious
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    Mar 12 2013: Well this debate is considerably impacted on what your talents are. I mean with you it is : Music, poetry and and writing fiction. (Which you should follow what your passionate about, whatever you can do in a sense of "flow" and gives your purpose) Happiness should be your mean, not your end!
    But however if you do have a talent of let's say "killing people and being the world's best assassin" and you could do it in a sense of "flow" and it gave your purpose, I'm not so sure you should follow that skill with passion. But this isn't the case so it is okay :)
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      Mar 19 2013: Hahaha I thought about that, too. I was hoping someone would touch upon that subject. Not all talents are necessarily positive things. I could be an expert bomb maker, but that might not be such a good talent to use, unless I go into the fireworks business.
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    Mar 10 2013: Tony are you asking the right question to get the answer you are looking for? How are you sharing your ideas? Are you asking your friends and acquaintances questions that make them want to engage your talents?
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      Mar 19 2013: I play music at home and sometimes people like to watch. I love to make music with others any chance I get. Also when they ask what I've been up to lately I might tell them the movies I watched, the books I've read or what I've written lately. When they hear I've created something they ask to see and I show them. They like it a lot and tell me I should submit it somewhere. I say I'm content with creating and don't want all the attention notoriety might bring. My catalog of work is fairly large at this point. My friends keep pushing me to share with the world, but I'm not sure I want to. I know they're just trying to help. Maybe I'm just stubborn.
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    Mar 6 2013: You are free.
    Do what you like, they way you like it.
    Do not hurt anybody on the way.
    • Mar 7 2013: absolutely agree about this sentence
      just do it, its your life....
  • Mar 6 2013: Yes but would it have been right to do that? he improved society as a whole and since religion is false the only real reason for life is to improve and when you don't do that you are wasting talent that could have improved the lives of many
  • Mar 6 2013: NO not at all there's nothing wrong with doing nothing with your talents but if your asking if it "morally" right to me i would say no Just think if Einstein decided to go with another dream and open a restaurant i feel like you should do your best to push your abilities to the limits in the direction you are best suited for i mean it's not required you do so but the truth is unless you do that you will simply fade away into time and never be a though again every idea and though you ever had if it be good or bad will never have any weight upon anybody and everything you ever were disappears like waves upon a beach
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      Mar 6 2013: Einstein said if he could do it again, he would have been a plumber. It's an interesting thought.
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    Mar 5 2013: You are entitled to have some things you do for yourself in private. Many people do believe sufficiently connected to the world around them that they also feel an imperative in their hearts to give what they can to others to improve their quality of life.

    Most people can do many things that can benefit themselves and others, and people feel differently compelled to contribute with what they know and can do. There isn't only one path.
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    Mar 8 2013: Hey Tony,
    I don't think its an issue to not to use your inherent talent and talent acquired through hard work and dedication.
    what i feel is its good not to go what people say its you who has to decide what you want to do with your life..
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    Mar 5 2013: Tony Bones,
    Why do you feel "obligated" to allow your friends to determine how you will, or will not, use your talents? It is good to listen to feedback from friends. However, if you "find" yourself "repeatedly having conversations" in which your friends are trying to convince you of something ("it's a crime?.....a "shame"? to do what you choose to do?), then you are giving your power of choice to your friends. Why do you want to do that?
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      Mar 5 2013: Thank you for your encouragement. The thing is that I was only using myself as an example. I'm in no danger of letting anyone decide how I live my life. Even if others weren't goading me to get noticed, there would still remain an inner moral dilemma I believe most people who are skilled at something face. That was the intended subject of this debate. Maybe I wasn't that clear. I apologize for the confusion. Thank you again for the sound advice. I do appreciate it even if I din't need it :)
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        Mar 5 2013: Tony Bones,
        I have skills and talents, as many people do, and do not face an "inner moral dilemma" regarding how, why, or when to use those skills and talents. I'm curious to know where you get the information that says..".there would still remain an inner moral dilemma I believe most people who are skilled at something face". Is that your own feeling? Idea? Projection?

        As a former professional actor, singer, dancer, I was surrounded by creative, skilled, talented people for years. Although we talked about a lot of things, I never heard anyone say they were experiencing a "moral dilemma". Perhaps you could help me understand more about that concept?
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          Mar 19 2013: I'm not a big fan of attention. I'm pretty anti-social and my messages are constantly misinterpreted. It is definitely a very personal crisis of "to do or not to do." I would like to make people happy, but only if they leave me alone afterward. I know I have a poor attitude, and I'm a cynic, and fairly misanthropic at times, but people have never been good to me. I don't want them around any more than necessary.
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        Mar 19 2013: Tony,
        I don't think/feel it to be a "poor attitude". I think it's more important to do what you love doing, how YOU want to do it, rather than follow the expectations of other people. There are performers who keep a very low profile when they are not performing, and if that is what you choose to do, it's ok.

        I'm sorry people have never been good to you.......never? As an adult, we have the ability to choose who we want to spend time, why, when and where. It's really not possible to "make people happy". We can contribute to other people's happiness, and being happy.....or the choice of the individual.
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          Mar 20 2013: Wish there were more people like you around.
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        Mar 25 2013: Tony! That is SO SWEET....thank you:>)

        I am counting on the ripple effect, or the butterfly effect:>)