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kaan dogru

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Why do we feel unhappy and what can we do about that subject?

I sometimes feel unhappy...I want to laugh much more . Let me give some suggestion and idea

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  • Mar 5 2013: One of the most important key to happiness is the understanding of one self. What and why we behave in a certain way. Most of our behaviors are coming from our parents and immediate surroundings. These (unconsciously) learned traits are predisposing us for most of our unhappiness. We picked up these behaviors during our childhood. By having them so early they predetermine what other behaviors we will accumulate later on. The way they do this is that behaviors are like to be “used” and to be “approved of”. So when you have a certain demeanor than you will use it in a setting where it is usable and where it is approved of. When it is not approved then you will simply have a feeling that you are not welcomed, and when it is unusable than you will have a feeling of not fitting in. These feelings than ending up guiding you towards situations where your behaviors “feel good” about themselves. From your brain’s point of view it is easier to use a behavior than to change it. Hence if you picked up some not so great traits from your folks than it will be really hard to get rid of them and even realizing that they are bad in the first place.
    To regain (rediscover) happiness you must realize that almost 90% of the personality that you think as “this is me” just merely values and dispositions bestowed on you from the outside without your own conscious consent. When you come to this realization, than you are starting down the path to get to know your true self. The one who chooses his own values and chooses his own behaviors.
    And that is a big step towards being in balance within.

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