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What is it to be Fearless ?

The Idea of living life at the whim of other people seems to me to be a very scary proposition. Therefore through my understanding of both this video and my personal experience ,the idea of being fearless to ask for help seems to be a necessary part of life.

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  • Mar 5 2013: Fear is so emotionally and physically difficult to handle, we try to overcome it, hide it, deny it, beat it with a stick, shame ourselves out of it and avoid it. But as a DNA-coded mechanism for survival, fear acts not only as a warning system but, I have discovered, as a friend and guidance system as well.

    When I was a performer, stage fright gripped me. Initially I loved being on stage, but eventually I became fearful, with attendant diarrhea, shakes and memory lapse. But I learned through a 2-year acting course to become comfortable on stage again. By constant repetition I was able to adapt to the horrible feeling of walking a tightrope without a net. I was able to channel the adrenaline to enhance performance. I went from wanting to be the last one to go on stage to do a scene, to wanting to go first to get it over with, to wanting to go first so that I could do my thing without having to wait around.

    Most importantly, I realized that the choices I most feared were the very ones I HAD to make in order to develop my skills. In this improvisational class, whatever scene or character I could imagine that made me feel uncomfortable was the very scene/character I HAD to do. By allowing my fear to inspire my choices, I grew in confidence. Fear became my friend and guide.

    Now, I never sat in a boat waiting to invade a country, watching my fellows blown apart as they tried to go ashore (D-day). I can't imagine being 17 and facing THAT fear. But even soldiers say that over time their fear subsides. Age also seems to mitigate fear... we all know people in their 80s who say any damn thing they want with impunity. Their body chemistry has changed for sure, which may be one explanation, and they are on their way out, so what have they got to lose?

    Fear is amazing. Fearlessness is awesome. And both seem to be necessary for life.
    • Mar 5 2013: "The past has no power over me" I love saying repeatedly this affirmation so i can live in the now. For me i am in fear or love and I choose love. Love of self, love for me is the miracle cure. LOVING OURSELVES WORKS MIRACLES IN OUR LIVES AND FOR THE PEOPLE WE ATTRACT INTO OUR LIVES.
      Love is about APPRECIATION to such a degree that it fills my heart to overflowing and whatever direction i go in life i can feel love for the process of the mind, our bodies, animals, vegetation, the universe, knowledge another person, our sexuality, and just the miracle of being alive and not fearing death as i see i am on a continuous journey. Thank you www.rogerking.info
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      Mar 10 2013: I know what you mean about stage fright, & using your fear. It's something I've thought about a lot, and something I encounter almost daily. And will encounter more in the years to come. I will work as a professional Tandem Skydiving Instructor, and have spent the last 3 years watch people take their first leap, trusting nylon and string, and some guy they met 20 minutes ago to save their life.

      If there is one thing I know of fear, it's that everyone reacts to it differently. Some people face it with determination, some with the thrill of exhilaration, some completely shut down. Some people react hysterically, and like a drowning person, can bring both people into extremely dangerous situations. Even so, it's the ones that show no fear that we as skydivers fear the most. For they lack any sense of vulnerability.

      Having watched the tens of thousands of first skydives that I have, I really have to conclude that can not be a a true state of fearlessness. Courage, yes, and bravery, but not fearlessness. Fear works like interference... It stops us from getting where you need to go, but it is necessary, and should be welcomed, as a positive indicator of danger, and that you are still alive.

      You don't have to have jumped out of a plane to see this. Most people's biggest fear is public speaking. You can see it when you watch people get ready to go on stage. Some people face the crowd with determination, some with exhilaration, and some completely shut down. But the ones that shut down never get to experience the vulnerability, the audience's appreciation, the confidence in knowing that you will never let your fear control your destiny. Your life is not in the hands of the great unknown, but in your own.

      The art of asking is something we should all appreciate. Asking for tips as a waiter (or skydiving instructor), asking your boss for a raise, asking your crush out for coffee or tea or dinner. Asking is about being vulnerable, & being vulnerable is about being alive.

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