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Were you happier in the pre-internet era?

I am wondering if the pre internet era was a better time to live in.

Because nowadays friends and family seem to have less attention and care for one another.
It also seems to me that people are less passionate and i rarely see people with sparks in their eyes anymore.
This makes me wondering if these times are better or not.
And if not, do we have to do something about it?

Is this just me?
Am i nostalgic and exaggerating?
Am i living in the wrong environment?

Please let me know your thoughts on this!

http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2008/07/is-google-making-us-stupid/306868/

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Danger Lampost 10+
- +1
Mar 27 2013: I wrote a syndicated article called "Online Social Fetishes" (see http://artofbuildingsoftware.blogspot.com/2011/05/online-social-fetishes.html) in which I delved into this issue of whether interacting online has improved the quality of various types of relationships (dating, job, family/friend connections). I figured the leading web sites like Match.com, LInkedIn, Facebook, and so on would have published some kind of research demonstrating how dating, job searching, or other relationships were better in any measurable way - better that is, using online methods compared with the pre-internet era. You'd think they'd be all over such evidence if it existed. Because I could not find it, I presumed it did not exist. I could well be wrong but there is scant evidence I've seen to date - so if you have any I would love to hear about it!!!

The concept of a "fetish" (in it's generic sense) is something that started to make sense to me in the context of how we view online services today. We ascribe a magical quality to them. I started thinking that we somehow assume that the quality of our dating lives, job searching, and so on is better now because of all these online tools. Then look at our divorce rate (or marriage satisfaction surveys), and unemployment rates, and so on - and there is no correlation. Or even a negative one - but that does not necessarily show any cause and effect. The fact that we may have been happier in the pre-internet era may have nothing to do with the Internet itself.

My other comment here, is that your answer to this question depends significantly on how you define happiness. Are you talking about the deep-seated happiness you carry around with you, or the momentary pleasures of life?
W. Ying 10+
- +1
Mar 27 2013: .
.
Yes. we were, because internet gives us data:

(1) Not accurate enough to satisfy our instincts.
(2) Too many to be processed by our instincts.

..
(For details, see the 1st article, points 1-3, 10, 14, at
https://skydrive.live.com/?cid=D24D89AE8B1E2E0D&id=D24D89AE8B1E2E0D%21283&sc=documents)
Vincenzo Sergi
- 0
Mar 27 2013: surely no one is unhappy because there is an internet?!
joanne zhang
- +1
Mar 27 2013: I was definitely happier before the internet. With the internet, everything is easily accessible and I do not cherish them as much as I used to do. Sometimes, I am overwhelmed by the enormous amount of information. I especially hate it when the phone is connected to the internet. People talk through email and messages more than face to face. There is more information transfer but less real communication. I once spent a five day holiday on a Island in Indonesia, without internet, TV and any other electronic devices. I had time to talk with my friends, listen to the see, and read on the beach. I had never felt happier.
Bob Stiglitz
- +1
Mar 25 2013: Reality is that people are more aware of how fucked up the world is, the 24/7 news cycle on the net really can suck the life out of you. So humanity is sobering up a little bit about how fucked up the world is and how stupid 'the other half' of humanity really is.

Internet comments on youtube or popular news sites are a case in point. Heck even comments on TED can lean pretty badly towards people with uninformed views of the world.

That being said, the reality is simply that there is more things to do so people are more drained of energy. The internet = draining because there is just so much interesting stuff to do you can get caught up in it for hours.
Barry Hillman
- +1
Mar 25 2013: As a person who lived their childhood and teens years without the internet and cell phones, the one thing i never had to face when out with friends and family was others constantly interrupting my social gatherings.When I was at a restaurant or family gathering no one was being called to the phone on a regular basis,unless there was a doctor on call or a bookie at our gathering.Fast forward to the present day,no matter where we are, everyone is texting each other regardless of what they are doing. It seems,that texting to others at distance locations while at the same time taking part in another activity, is somehow not a rude thing to do.Is it because texting is somehow seen as being different from talking on the phone during dinner or during a one on one conversation?Parents are probably frustrated by this maybe more than anyone else...you have your son or daughter with you for a dinner or at a family gathering and every so often they leave to text with their friends or maybe even texting in front of you while you are talking to them. I'm probably sounding like the old person I never said I would be when I was in my younger years..but I think that most people, young and older,probably respond to their text messages more quickly than 911 responds to emergency calls. I get that this is the age of instant response, but unless we put some limits on how we use technology then we are in danger of the technology using us.Yes, although it may not seem like it, I love the internet, but I think that too often as with any new technology, we learn quickly only how to use the technology, in the sense that we understand the "how to" part, but not how to use it in an efficient manner.We need to always ask: how is the technology going to make my life better? And, if it doesn't add something to our lives, than ask yourself: do I really need get this new technology?Let's become more mindful of what we do and when in "non-internet" social gathering, not ignore the ones we're with.
- ZX Style 10+
  - 0
  Mar 25 2013: It's not just old people who feel this way.
  I'm 23 and feel the same way you do.
  I became more aware off this feeling a few years ago when the smartphones came up.
  My friends respond like you said faster then a 911 emergency call.
  During conversations with them i feel ignored when talking to them they suddenly are not listening anymore but are texting. I decided not to join in this phenomena, and i feel sadly relieved i don't participate in this ratrace.
  
  What bothers me more is that my concentration has decreased since we have broadband 10 years ago.
  I seriously cannot concentrate any longer then 5 minutes, i have a serious issue with this.
  So i want to shut out internet too, but this is to hard for me cause if you want to accomplish things you have to start the PC. Then it becomes tempting to go online and see a few hours dissapear again.
  I can't imagine a life without being online, and i am not happy with that fact.
  
  I have this gut feeling that i am not the only "young" one with this feeling. But others are denying it. Denial is a stage of addiction. Elderly who feel internet is an enrichment of life just haven't been online enough like the young ones. It does more harm then good. I predict that in a few years the economy will suffer from addicted teenagers unable to concentrate on their jobs and collapsing companies due to mismanagement.
  - Barry Hillman
    
    0
    Mar 25 2013: Good to hear that there are young people that feel the same as older people...i'm not elderly yet...although I have often wondered what it will be like for young people of this generation when they are older, if they are already feeling the pressures and stresses of the internet and social networking when they are in their 20s.
Feyisayo Anjorin 50+
- +1
Mar 25 2013: Happiness is a personal thing. Sometimes too much information results in confusion instead of clarity. So the internet era throws us into an ocean of options that requires wisdom and discipline to steer through.

Yes, there it is; the challenges of the 21st century is not new to humanity, even if it seems as such. With wisdom, discipline and gratitude, it is easy to be happy most of the time.
- ZX Style 10+
  - +1
  Mar 25 2013: This problem you are describing might be worsened by the fact that the parents physical not able to guide them trough childhood because they are both working full time (otherwise they can not pay rent, cars, education, food).
  So the children have to learn dicipline and wisdom from themselves or internet.
  You can imagine this is not allways going to turn out good.
  - Feyisayo Anjorin 50+
    
    0
    Mar 25 2013: You are right.
  - Feyisayo Anjorin 50+
    
    0
    Mar 25 2013: You are right.
freeair zhao
- +1
Mar 25 2013: if i hung out with friends, the first rules is no phone that's not mean even for a call.the "phone" is the social software and a behavior.
for me ,an 18-year-old,the age fulfilled envy.Facebook or QQ just make me angry . The diiferent between consume ,appearence,scores.The others ' holiday snap,the comments,the relationship.ALl of this bring medown.I don't want to deny my life !!
- ZX Style 10+
  - 0
  Mar 25 2013: Thank you for replying.
  I like the no phone rule you have.
  While hanging out my friend look almost more to their phones then the people talking.
  I also think they will become angry if i propose no phones, because then i take their drug away.
  
  how did you insert this measure for no phones?
Obey No1kinobe 50+
- 0
Mar 25 2013: I love the access to information, the connection, the tools and toys etc.

Love skyping friends and family. Looking for a nearby restaurant and getting reviews off a phone. I love being able to take photos anytime I see something interesting.

Apparently there was a time when you had to get your money from banks not atms and they were closed on the weekends. People wrote cheques, and had to plan ahead as no mobile phones, and you didn't have a camera with you unless you carried a big camera and film.

Of course there is a downside with any technology especially if overused or misused. I don't feel so anonymous as I used to. Bit worried about privacy, security and internet overload. It's still nice to have a coffee with friends.

I'm not sure I'm happier, but life is easier and more interesting.
Gail Monique Mallo
- 0
Mar 24 2013: I can't really say I am happier then than I am now. Social media has changed my life and it might have saved me too because during the darkest hours of my life, after my father was diagnosed with terminal cancer, I retreated from the real world and kept to my family and myself. I went through the very rough patch alone and turned to social networks (discussion forums, support groups, etc.) to find people who are going through the same pain as I was.

After losing him for more than a year later, I realize that social media plays a huge role in my healing because on days when I don't know how to express my grief and my pain, I turn to blogs to write out my despair. A lot of people say that personal relationships are being replaced by the Internet but I don't think it does, it just gives us an alternative if we don't want to socialize at all when times are hard.
- ZX Style 10+
  - 0
  Mar 25 2013: I'm sorry for you.
  The question however is whether is it social media that helped you or could this also be reached by a diary or logbook where you write your story on paper?
  
  That's what Anne Frank did in the world war 2, writing her sorrows and grief in a book.
Daniel Brown
- +2
Mar 24 2013: Well, for one thing, I didn't realize there were so many stupid and willfully ignorant people in the world before the internet.
But happier, No. I LOVE the information age!
adesh saxena 10+
- +1
Mar 24 2013: Whatever we may try, we can't stop the progress happening and its always best to accept the change and be happy about it.
Monica Sylvester
- +2
Mar 23 2013: Yes, I was happier pre-internet era. People are losing interpersonal relationship skills and the natural way of just being with people. In the 1980s we were told computers would save paper, save time and free us up for more valuable time with our families and friends. We are now dependent on staring at an inanimate object and have lost our lust for life. Everything around us becomes materialistic instead of focusing on people and nature. With all of the knowledge computers bring to us and to children, we are losing what should be most important - people. Children should be playing hopscotch, not learning a keyboard.
- ZX Style 10+
  - 0
  Mar 24 2013: I share your opinion. I also think scientific research should be executed on this subject.
  Are we really losing our interpersonal skills or not would be an interesting subject.
edulover learner 10+
- 0
Mar 23 2013: I always think I am living a life it is getting better and better.The most important fact is as much as I I have experienced meanwhile keep a thinking around in my life.More and more difficulties I felt before but not anymore.It depends on I Keep myself learning and thinking.Of course internet helps me a lot.And how about you?
mary kariuki
- +2
Mar 22 2013: ZX, wooah, I love the internet age. I love that the universe saw there is a need for instant communication and platform to spread worth ideas and share love. It is because of lack of love self love and loving other human kinds that internet is the way to go to change this.
The internet is exposing an underlying issue that have existed for decades. The internet will make human conditioning to change from selfish to selfless, after people witness the dire consequences of been selfish and self-centered either as an individual or as a country.
It is not strange to see people becoming more confused, loveless and desperate as technology advances. This however does not mean technology is the main culprit, instead humans are the culprit. Human have not yet realized their power over self and things, thus letting something underneath us to take charge. It is a perpetuation of human condition and thinking.
I never understand how people can't make a simple decision and have a "phone fast" "internet fast" ...."technology fast". The hidden fear that inhibit human mind leads to technology addiction; fear of relaxing in a quiet house with TV off, most people can stand mind chatter...Fear that something will go wrong with loved ones, so one has to carry cell phone everywhere.

Yes what happened to self love, love of nature, love of just been? Technology did not take away these things, it just exposed our current situation as humans.
Internet is the best discovery I ever witnessed. Humans will become better if we stop letting things control us. ( I love the internet...I virtually know you and other great Ted contributors.

Love

Mary
- ZX Style 10+
  - 0
  Mar 23 2013: Thank you very much for commenting!
  
  Your comment is so different from the 40+ comments below. No pun intented for the other commenters.
  And i like it, it changes my outlook on the internet.
  I will quote some sentences i liked.
  
  "The internet will make human conditioning to change from selfish to selfless, after people witness the dire consequences of been selfish and self-centered either as an individual or as a country".
  
  Can you please explain this a little more?
  
  "Human have not yet realized their power over self and things, thus letting something underneath us to take charge".
  
  That sentence i loved the most it made me pause for some thoughts.
  - mary kariuki
    
    0
    Mar 23 2013: Thanks so much ZX. I appreciate other commenters and truly all comments are valuable for different insights.
    About "The internet......country", prior to the internet age, people had limited access to raw data, untainted information. Common people rarely knew what was happening in different regions of the world, people relied on "gated" TV and Radio news, to be updated on what is going on.
    With internet though, one just need to visit Facebook for instance, make friends with a Kenyan who will in 90% unbiased way provide raw data of what is happening in Kenya.
    
    The internet is one global connection at the right time; as self centered/selfish people we never get fulfilled though we might appear to be, sharing and witnessing will change our cores. The net has been exposing people lack of love, loneliness, depression.
    
    For instance, with the internet, me and you will start questioning the effect of countries going to war with each other. If Iraq is hurting everyone else is hurting indirectly i.e. people live in constant fear of attack by enemies.
  - mary kariuki
    
    0
    Mar 23 2013: "Human ...take charge", Our mind discovery things, then we let the discoveries to rule over us. Majority of us never see ourselves as co-creator of discoveries; we look at scientist as "mini gods" who are different from everyone else. We take the discovery and make our lives miserable; e.g we log in to Facebook, compare ourselves with peers, become depressed and envious then blame the net.
    
    We are such clever, wise, all knowingly creatures, yet we let conventional way to blind us....leading us to follow narrow made realities and follow without question. Why?because we don't want to do the hardest work "THINKING"
Ronney Kendall
- +1
Mar 21 2013: ZX, I agree with you. I also think it's sad that home video games have completely erased out the Arcades. This is where i remember socializing with friends. But that is just me.

I also think the internet and cell phones have made it easier to to be unfaithful. Like you say, we become disconnected. I do think it is sad. Because we are disconnected, its easier for us, as humans, to lack empathy or apathy for one another, we are living in a me, me, me type of world.

But the information age has brought me back in contact with some old friends who I never would have been in contact with otherwise. So I love that part about it. And, there is always TED! :)
Rosco Bell
- 0
Mar 20 2013: A little story: A few weeks ago, I received an email message about an old friend who was experiencing some difficulties in her life. The email suggested that her old friends could contribute some money to a fund that would be sent to her to help in her hour of need. Within a couple of days, about 15 of us raised around $2,000 through e-transfers that was then sent to our friend. Pretty amazing, right?
Now I and most of the others who sent money had not actually seen our friend in at least 35 years. We had all known each other because we had lived/worked/studied/played together back in the 60s and 70s as students and hippies. We had formed bonds of love and friendship that have lasted 40 years and longer, despite only intermittent and infrequent contact with each other in the years since. The memories of those times and those people are treasures we all cherish. All things considered, those were extremely happy times for all of us.
So are we happier now that we can reach out and support each other because of the internet? There is no question that what we did last month made us happy. It was the right thing to do and probably would not have happened without the internet.
A lot of the comments here refer to the good and the bad things the internet has brought to our lives, not to mention the ugly. The internet has changed a lot of things in the ways we relate to the world and to each other. But some things are timeless and unaffected by external factors like technology. Ask yourself: Has the nature of happiness somehow changed because of the internet? Does happiness somehow feel different now? Is happiness cumulative, something you can save up like rewards points?
So I don’t think the question should be: Were you happier in the pre-internet era? The only answer to that question is Yes and No.
A better question is: Are you happy now?
Karim Hassan
- +1
Mar 19 2013: I think technology is great and the fact that we can reach information so quickly is amazing and helps a lot with being a well rounded, aware individuals. Children are growing up smarter and can grasp concepts much easier. But i believe that when technology overpowers peoples communication, that's when something becomes horribly wrong. People are heading into a non-responsive, emotionless world where they type emotions that they don't actually feel rather than convey it person to person. When people at dinner are on their phones more interested in games/ what other people are doing rather than spending time talking face to face with their companions, the REAL interactions between people are lost completely. This to me is a sad concept.. that all human interaction will be replaced by online interaction, which comparatively is quite distant.
- ZX Style 10+
  - 0
  Mar 20 2013: What you are describing is really happening in our world.
  Some people can withstand this behavior, and almost worship technology.
  Others can't withstand this and are slave of the technology against their own will.
  - Karim Hassan
    
    0
    Mar 20 2013: The thing is though is that we are evolving. I mean, the human species has been evolving for centuries and this part of evolution is too fast. For now, SOME people are able to resist, but just think over 2 or 3 generations what our world will be like.
Farokh Shahabi Nezhad 10+
- +1
TED Translator

Mar 19 2013: Internet is the most complete form of a world for people that want to escape this world. Like me
Iulian Sociale Ingegnere
- 0
Mar 19 2013: What i see good about Internet is that is a great tool for collaborative work on vast areas and also for news if are not too bad or not just bad news. This tool Internet like any other media tools is good if it is used by good intentioned people and not to manipulate and should be watched by mature people that should not censor it but comment on the information and make it available to someone based on age and good bad votes of all other people. I started to work on this kind of tool but need people to cooperate for it. http://www.dacicop.ro
A Sethuramiah
- 0
Mar 19 2013: I am reasonably happy before and after Internet. Both the eras did not affect
my core values that lead to happiness. Having said that sometimes it is an effort
not to be carried away by technology. In other words to be sensitive enough to see technology does not run my life.
However the proliferation of technology beyond a point may become intrusive. We need collective wisdom to tackle this problem. It is not just internet- it is technology per se that is the issue. In the meanwhile can we overcome some of negative impacts of technology?
The weapons of mass destruction, the drones, and the robot armies of future- all these tools are to dominate and stay powerful. The millions who die are usually those who are hungry and angry. To bring non-proliferation into practice appears impossible and so everybody wants the weapons technology to protect them.
At the present stage of our evolution we are incapable of collective altruism and simplicity. We will continue with ‘enlightened selfishness’- go to war to have lasting peace (latter), and more cleverly manipulate resources to our advantage when possible. The old mind set continues but the deadly games now are more sophisticated as you have to sell the ideas to smarter Internet crowd! Those who vouch for practicality would like to think in terms of balance of power that keeps us away from major wars. How long such approaches work remains to be seen.
Amruta Bhuskute
- +1
Mar 19 2013: Absolutely not. I am happier now and internet has much to do with it. Main advantage of internet for me was access to vast information, knowledge and different perspectives of life which I would not be able to get without internet. Education system here is not much good. Internet has enabled me to have little access to more advanced education through online lessons/courses of Khan Academy, Courseera, edX etc. Job sites are also extremely helpful to me. So I would rather say, nothing is without costs and returns. We should try to maximize returns and minimize costs.
- Iulian Sociale Ingegnere
  - 0
  Mar 19 2013: A tool that give you information for short periods and makes you feel good when you lived in a close system with no access to the world is just a false good impresion that in time vanish and the too much information and dispersed make you lose time and maybe interest later. If you put a base on the information that you find free on Internet is like you depend on it in some way and maybe you do not remember it.
pat gilbert 50+
- +1
Mar 19 2013: No
- Arkady Grudzinsky 50+
  - +1
  Mar 19 2013: I had a coworker. Every time someone asked him "how are you?" he replied "the best day in my life". Great attitude! Just say "no" to negativism (a bumper sticker I've seen recently). ;-)
Iulian Sociale Ingegnere
- 0
Mar 18 2013: First thing will happen shortly will be to see more and more young people that use technology with behaviour problems things happening more and more over the world especialy in US.
Barry Hillman
- +1
Mar 18 2013: I agree with Arkady...life has changed and is changing at a more rapid pace than at any other time in world history. But, I think humans have a history of adapting to their circumstances and becoming stronger as a result of it. Every generation has new technologies and as a result they become different than the generation before them Our life is different than our parents and and has changed from the time we were children....world changes are not going to slow down. I spoke to a teenager recently that was at a collectibles sale of old video games and action figures and it was like talking to a person in their 70 or 80s, he said he remembered "the good old days" of games and toys and how everything has changed....this is someone that has lived just over one decade! If someone in their teens is remembering the good old days then this is a whole new ball game. We had better adapt to change or we will be left behind and very quickly. In the past if you were left behind you could run and catch up to what was happening, now I think we all have to PAY ATTENTION...live in the present. I try, as best as I can, to not live in the past, I think about it sometimes, but I don't live there. I think we can learn from our own personal past history, but I think the past can often be better than we remember, we forget the bad things about our past and remember the good and then as we age we seem to see more negative. Now is all we have, so let's use it well. We can still move with the world and stay sane. Once in a while we can shut off our phones..it has an off button..go for a walk without your phone...the world won't stop if you don't respond to everyone trying to reach you...tell your friends to meet you for coffee and tell them your cell phone isn't working so they can't cancel on you...be creative...change the your world. The past is gone, what we do NOW will determine our future.

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