This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »
What should one do , if situations take control of a person's life , as in he wants to do good but bad happens everytime .
You have mixed feelings about your worries. On one hand, your worries are bothering you - you can't sleep, and you can't get these pessimistic thoughts out of your head. But there is a way that these worries make sense to you. For example, you think:
Maybe I'll find a solution.
I don't want to overlook anything.
If I keep thinking a little longer, maybe I'll figure it out.
I don't want to be surprised.
I want to be responsible.
You have a hard time giving up on your worries because, in a sense, your worries have been working for you.
Random Chance 30+
Today I believe it is important to remember that the game of life is rigged against all of us.
So, when some bad or negative things happen, it isn't always an individual's fault.
If people are honest, especially with what is going on in the world currently, it is easy to see just how true that is.
In Amerika for example, those who will tell me anything at all, only reveal that there are many less avenues of ideas, and things to do, to "save themselves or their situation". In India I do not know the conditions.
I haven't found talking to people of any help. They don't listen, they don't understand and they don't even try. They are judgmental, uncaring and scared to death along with being mental robots, artificially intelligent. They only speak with no real beliefs of their own any longer. I have wanted to have someone to talk with all my life and never found anyone, not through prayer, meditation, ads, going out, actively seeking friendships or simply asking someone if they would listen because I really needed it. I do talk here on ted, but there is little effect I get from it because I have learned not to get my spirits up.
I believe most people do not really trust what it is they say they believe in. If you have one thing, that you trust with abandon, then you are all right. I have one such thing. What does it do for me? Well, since I trust, there is no sense in worrying, for something good will happen. If it doesn't, there is no sense in worrying, because something bad will happen. Am I all right? Yes. I am even though I don't like the situation, and I know this, I can't go back on it.
I also like to believe in what I know, so that leaves out hope and faith, which are false in my opinion. They simply lead to the ever thinking what to do? and worry. Let go of care. The main definition of care is, "a troubled state of mind."
If you have that one thing, trust it. If you worry, you don't trust it.
Belief in a God? If you worry or are afraid, then there's two.
edulover learner 10+
Also sometimes I have been confused too.But I do get inspiration from those transparent ideas in our lives,as long as I can use my heart to focus on,being conscious.A free heart is always around.
Gail . 50+
Barry Palmer 50+
You would think that big businesses would have some rational, perhaps even mathematical model to make such an important decision. Oddly enough, the decision is usually made by some technician or manager relying on his or her feelings. Specifically, it is a feeling of confidence that a proposal is sound and is the best available.
So when you start to worry about worrying too much, you might think about a group of experts trying to develop a plan for something enormously important, like fixing a nuclear power plant accident or an incoming asteroid. Even the most important decisions do get decided. You have made important decisions in the past, and you will make even more important decisions in the future. At some point you must decide, and you must act.
ZX Style 10+
That is bottling up problems until they are too big too handle.
So in order to prevent this from happening
It's best to talk with people about your worries.
1 they might advice you or help you
2 you will feel relieved
In real life this works better then it works online i can tell you out of experience.
I know this sometimes can be a though thing to do because you feel you have to solve things on your own.
But eventually talking is better!
greg dahlen 20+
Colleen Steen 500+
You suggest that "situations take control of a person's life". How can that happen? We are thinking, feeling, intelligent resourceful, insightful humans.....are we not? How can a situation control us......unless.......we allow that to happen?
How do "worries make sense to you" and how have they "been working for you"? I have not discovered any useful purpose for worry. I do not see a reason to do that to myself.
Worry: "to subject to persistent or nagging attention or effort; to afflict with mental distress or agitation; anxious; unceasing or difficult effort; struggle; concern or anxiety..."
Again, I ask the questions...how does worry make sense to you? How is it "working for you"? How is it helpful in any way?
Tarun Mahani
Comment deleted
Colleen Steen 500+
You write..."this world doesn't find or let you go easy on your way".
Did anyone ever tell you that life would be easy Tarun? I have discovered that sometimes, the most difficult challenges provide the most joy.....when we get to the end of the tunnel:>) YOU ARE RIGHT....believe in yourself and don't give up because something seems challenging:>)
You also write..."...you give room to the situation and surroundings to make the next move and this arrises the problem".
You GIVE ROOM to the situation and surroundings to make the next move? Why give YOUR "moves" away my friend?
Tarun Mahani
and i assure you that i am motivated enough to not to give up under any circumstances .
Colleen Steen 500+
If fear keeps you away from actual work place, then fear is getting in the way of progressing for you? In another comment, you say..."actually all my worries of loosing something , makes me work even harder , that's how it makes sense".
Ok....if worry (fear) works for you.....carry on! However, you are here asking a question, which suggests that it DOES NOT work for you. Are you clear with your quest?
Fritzie Reisner 100+
From your scenario you sound like you may be a perfectionist and so fearful of error that you can't try anything.
You might try asking yourself what the worst things are that could reasonably happen from what you try to do but then also how likely they are. Interestingly, people who ask themselves this often discover that even the worst case is not that bad and that errors can often be corrected. There is another useful question- if this doesn't go as I expect, how might I correct it in preparation for my next experiment or attempt?
Tarun Mahani
the problem is when you make huge goals or aims , and you try really hard to get them , then if on the way , there are certain things that you know , that you cannot get at any cost , but you are motivated enough to give up , coz if you give up , you have to give up everything and start a new beggining .
If you want that thing really bad , then you will put everything that you have to achieve it , no matter how difficult it is for you , the problem starts to increase when social phenomenen comes into picture . this world doesn't find or let you go easy on your way . i know in such situations you have avoid everything and listen to your heart and believe in yourself , but still such things are distraction
As you go further , assuming that everything good will happen and keep your fears away and simply be positive , then suddenly the thing that you know , you cannot get , comes into picture , and you gets demotivated .
you were true about the fear part , that you are really feared about something or making errors , then it will be difficult for you to make the next move and you give room to the situation and surroundings to make the next move and this arrises the problem , the things happen that you never want to happen , and life will put you into the court that you were responsible for the error .
What should be the next move ?
Fritzie Reisner 100+
But assuming everything will turn out great if you only believe in yourself is not enough to give you excellent odds of succeeding in what you undertake. One can try something over and over, but if one hasn't learned and planned intelligently along the way, one cannot simply count on good results just because one is motivated.
You need to make sure you are prepared, that you understand and continue to learn about the context in which you are working, and that you have ideas as to mid-course corrections and fallback strategies, look into the resources that are available to help you, and that sort of thing.
It also DOES matter how well your goals line up with your strengths or the strengths that you could build up. I could not, for example, with my age and lack of stature, now become a professional basketball player. It is always most promising to play to your strengths.