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Mathew Naismith

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Who’s had a rough or violent upbringing?

I could wright a book titled Guns Knives Brass Buckles & Soap. The soap bit sounds lame but it’s just as deadly as the rest. Please keep your replies as small as posssible.

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    Feb 25 2013: Matthew you might like to read the works of Alice Miller and have a look at books about intergenerational coping mechanisms (dysfunctional ones). Have had several conversations lately with people locally on much the same theme ie how come no matter how hard you try to be 'different' from your parents and resolve to never ever be like they were, it just keeps coming back to bite you. Not sure what Kate Blake meant about 'horrible deaths' but all I can say to you Matthew is try and stay in the 'here and now' . Do very much agree with what you are saying about the global disease of abuse and it's long term effects. Breaking away from dangerous family relationships is great. As Don has pointed out, it takes huge strength to keep going. Know there is research about the neurological effects of childhood abuse and am trying to check this out. I understand the terminology to be to do with the 'comedrone' of nueorological functioning (sorry if spelt wrong). Do also agree that in a product and market lead economy where there is this idea that a product will fix the problem going to get that 'contamination of a community' effect - think it is colloqially known as the 'one bad apple' syndrome. Matthew want you to remember you are a survivor and it might be so helpful to you to work as a mentor with young teenage boys in particular, just as part of the 'fight-back' against the long-term effects of abuse. Yes would definately agree for a child seeing their parents behave in one way around them and in a completely different way when visitors come is possibly the most damaging of all because it totally messes up your trust in yourself, as you said.
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      Feb 27 2013: G’day Elizabeth

      Thanks for the info………It’s funny, I was working with disabled people for a while who had massive physical & mental traumas to deal with which also included abuse from a variety of sources including the government in how they shuffle these people around, they would start one project then dump it after a while then start up another & so on. Every time the government dumped a program these people felt betrayed & unwanted.

      I was tutoring them in woodworking, numeracy & literacy but I wasn’t qualified to do so, according to my boss I was better trained in life skills than other highly educated teachers & tutors in the organisation, I was the man for the job & I did so well until the government dumped the disabled scheme once again. There wasn’t a set program to tutor these people by so I made up my own that worked maybe too well as it made other better trained people look silly but that’s life.

      Love
      Mathew
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        Feb 27 2013: G'day mate - so very proud of you. You have noted that 'mind-set' that makes already vulnerable people even less of a person and more of an 'object'. In the UK at the moment we have a government that seems hell-bent on ripping away any quality of life for those who are unable to access the job-market. The last several months have been filled with media reports about benefit 'scroungers' and the new Personal Independence Payment that is replacing Disability Allowance is set to potentially remove 500,000 claimants more. The assessment procedure has been designed to reduce the number of claimants, end of story but it actually is going to have the effect of pauperising and isolating people. That's when the really nasty stuff happens 'out of sight'. In the current economic climate many services are being 'contracted out' to business organisations and the chance to live independantly in the community and to experience a safe, tolerant, dare I say 'loving and inclusive' care service is getting scarcer by the day. So if it takes 'evidence-based' practice frameworks to get funding to get a more long term project off the ground would you go for it? Not sure if allowed to mention specific organisations here on TED but you might like to look at the Princess Royal Carer's Trust website. Another organisation is www.stophateuk.org. So someone has something wrong with their body or mind so what they still have potential. BTW still think you are great for having the courage to be aware of your past and how it still impacts you. Do you like the 'Black Dog' psych books ?
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          Feb 27 2013: G’day Elizabeth

          It is so sad how we treat our fellow human being; it would be much kinder if we euthanized anyone who is in great distress/trauma than to just kick them around like this.

          The problem with me is I am restricted within my abilities as I also have a disability from child hood neglect from the age of six so taking on a project of significants is really out of the question unless I had adequate support & I don’t think that will happen as I’m not academically qualified.

          There are so many people out there like me it’s not funny. While working with the disabled I had volunteers come in to assist who also had some sort of disability to cope with, some of them after a while working with me & my clients found work within the disability industry as well. I had one volunteer older than me who was very emotional & unsettled; we gave him the confidents to obtain a job within the disability industry after a while.

          My clients weren’t just teaching me but the volunteers that came in to help as well. I had one bloke say to me after a while that he didn’t think much of these disabled people at all before coming here, he too found work within the industry.

          What I was supposed to do & what I did was two different things, I was supposed to treat my clients as subhuman if you know what I mean, instead I treated them, within reason, just like I would anyone else in a workshop or class room situation & they loved it. Most of them were very conscious in the way they were & the way they were being treated.

          I haven’t had time to read anything else at the moment as I’m presently reading three small books on the philosophical view of the consciousness, mind & brain & the psych which is quite heavy for an unlearned person.

          Love
          Mathew

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