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Who’s had a rough or violent upbringing?
I could wright a book titled Guns Knives Brass Buckles & Soap. The soap bit sounds lame but it’s just as deadly as the rest. Please keep your replies as small as posssible.
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Kate Blake 50+
Never had one case in isolation eg where the parents hadn't been abused themselves. The fact that you and your brother survived, and that you Stopped passing it on is something to be hugely proud of, this is really monumental stuff. Usually people hold much hate and anger and just pass the abuse on.
A spiritual path is far more constructive but you never ever forget - learning how to forgive is another matter. But it is truly the only way to Heal!
Mathew Naismith 10+
I have a brother & sister who have carried it on but funny enough my eldest brother who copped the worst of it is fine maybe because he became a reborn again Christian which was hard to take when he went into a bible bashing mode but it saved him & his family from further abuse.
The funny thing is some people think abuse only happens in feral families, we weren’t feral just an everyday so called normal family. It was so funny when people came to visit, my parents changed completely but after the guest left it was back to normal, it’s funny to look back on.
Love
Mathew
Kate Blake 50+
I never thought it only happened in feral families - my worst cases came from well-educated people or 'church' folk. Maybe this is one reason I am very wary of people who have to announce they are 'christian' - if they really were it should be obvious from their behaviour? Too often I have found people perpetuate their own illusions when they have to proclaim something loudly ...
Yet the Church saved your brothers family, and you stepped aside to look and learn that one doesn't have to repeat ones family of origin mistakes. Did your wife help with this also?
Are your parents still alive? Did you ever have any kind of resolution with them?
Mathew Naismith 10+
Now you’re going to find this funny…..No we didn’t help my brother through this however in saying that we did keep in touch & we spoke about the family a lot but I also did this with my second eldest brother as well, I suppose really he didn’t seem as aggressive with his step daughters but that could be for other reasons as well
Being brought up on the country I think religious people where just as bad as anyone else they just covered it up better.
Now for the good bit……Yes my parents are still alive & yes I have tried to reconcile with them but you see I was always the one who brought out the ugly side of our family by trying to talk about it & was accused of causing trouble in the family. They will not face what they have done especially my mother. I did have a chat with my father down the street a while ago as my sister & mother weren’t around, my dad was nearly in tears while talking to me.
The strangest thing is I would have shot my father without giving it a second thought if he belted my mother even at 9-10 yrs , we did, on occasions, have a good time with them when they were calm.
Another strange thing is they knew but they didn’t know what they were doing at the same time, they just didn’t want to face what they were doing as this would have put them in the same shoes as there abusive parents. You know the thing is I understand however abuse is abuse & can never be forgotten as it’s hard enough to just give!!!
Love
Mathew
Kate Blake 50+
Your mother and sister sound like they are too damaged to move forward. Pray that one day they will face their demons and heal in time to come - because I can tell you these people usually face massive confusion and fear at the time of their death! I worked in hospice care for many years, specialised in death and trauma, trauma of childhood abuse, war, rape, etc