TED Conversations

Joe Music

This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »

What is it that keeps us from being closer to other human beings ?

What causes us to withhold from other human beings ? Answers might be what people find that brings them closer to others, things they may do on a day to day basis.

+3
Share:

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.

  • thumb
    Feb 23 2013: The question you are posing aims at the heart of our concept of a self and other, and the model of relationship that we employ From the moment we are born we are the world, but soon start to grasp that the world has a part that is other-ly, and not a part of self. This interaction with the other helps to define our Self; Other names us and describes us. This creates a divid within our self into an "I/me," with our I-ness being our subjective internal experience and the "Me" being the external, objective part of Self that is often beyond our conscious awareness.

    The Self may seek to control the aspect of the "me" that others perceptive. In doing so we create further divisions of the Self into new sub-selves; multiple "me." This can also happen unconsciously to our internal "I" self, multiple "I"
    Hence the Self is more aptly understood if viewed as a collective self, a team, where varies versions of our Self are utilized for various roles, or postions. This might even said to be a complex Self, where the sum of the selves are greater than the Self.
    So we are looking at a dynamic where my "I" relates my subjective experience to Other's "Me," and Other then processes the information into the subjective understanding of its "I." Other's "I" then responses to the my "me."

    my (I)-----> O (me) / O(I)-----> my(me)/ I

    As one can see, this is a complex dynamic, there are multiple boundary rules in play within een the simplest exchange between people. With iteration there is a trajectory between the two individuals that will depending on the variables move them closer together or apart over time. .

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.