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Gary Malloy

Consultant / Advisor,

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As you mature are you changing? How? Better-Worse-Happier-Sadder

As a man in my mid sixties I often reflect on how I have changed and still changing. Grew up in a family of extremely modest means, married, divorced, raised four sons, built and sold two nice size companies, lived in five different states, traveled extensively, made and kept a few life friends, made and lost many friends and I am now a ten year (stage four) Head/Neck cancer survivor. These and the many day to day life experiences have evolved me into the current me. Am I happy with that? What do I need or want to change? What do I need or want to still do?

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  • Feb 10 2013: I can't put myself in your exact cancer survivor shoes but I find myself (in my 60's as well) thinking I want to go out of this world in much the same way as I came in - ie without an ego - and this is tough to do. Why do I want to do this? I think it prepares me for what hopefully lies beyond this world by giving me some separation. I have begun by trying to give up any "scorekeeping" I may have been doing. I have also tried meditation to get out of my circular self dwellings about the past, and future. How am I doing? I will always be a work in progress - but that is ok with me. I do find myself reading a lot more books and expanding/working on my view of the world and the "after world". I don't have a "bucket list" - I have future things I am working on but if I don't get to them I think I am content with my present day to day routine. In summary trying to go ego less is driving my current life journey. Best wishes.
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      Feb 11 2013: Tom, thank you for the reply. I look at the cancer as just another thing that I had to deal with. Having said that when you daily have to think about your own demise it has a great impact. That impact was that so many things I thought were important we simply not. I like you do not have a scorecard anymore and wish I never had one. I choose very carefully how I spend my time. I never have been much for suffering fools. Being by myself is not being lonely, it is my quality time and I choose plenty of it. My family and a FEW close friends are plenty. Thanks again for honest and insightful reply.

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