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How do you deal with passive aggressive individuals?

We all have different personality types.
Some of us are passive, some are assertive, some aggressive, some are passive aggressive.

And at any given time, we may display one or more of these personality traits based on the situation at hand.

I am interested in experiences you might have had or are having with individuals who specifically display a passive aggressive personality.

How do you deal with them at work?
How do you handle them within the family circle?

If you yourself are a passive aggressive person, could you shed light into why you choose to act this way? And also, what kind of people are you the most comfortable around?

Any and all comments are welcomed. I am hoping to learn more about this type of personality so I can better communicate with these individuals.

Thank you.


Closing Statement from W T

Thank you to all who participated in this most wonderful conversation on passive aggressive personalities.

Hopefully all who participated walked away knowing a little bit more about themselves and others.

We cannot change others, but we can certainly change ourselves.

It is in this light, that I started this conversation. My goal was to understand why passive aggressive individuals acted the way they do, so that I can better understand how to treat them and get along with them........your answers shed alot of light into my dilemna.....I am still reading and learning.

Thank you!!!

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  • Jan 30 2013: Hi,
    My entire family is passive aggressive and I'm the last of eleven kids and currently 49 years of age. I have lived through some very awful and difficult family and work situations and it seems like it always as to do with passive aggressive people, regardless of the situation itself. I'm curious to know why? Is it possible to be wise enough to counteract the effect of passive aggressive behavior in your immediate surroundings and life in general. I have come to my wits end trying to find a way to deal without cause and effect.
    What do you want to know first? If I go chronologically it may take a while cause it starts before the age of 5 yrs old as I was sexually abuse by one of my brother (mid family one) and it ended when I was 5. I recall many things and images but I cannot specifically time any of them. When over with came the taboos. Could not talk about it ever otherwise it would end up in a total family dispute and nobody won. Of course booze being part of the equation never made it any easier. I was left to myself to deal with something I certainly did not understand and to top it all no one allowed me to talk either. Until I found myself with the same problems as my dear family always had, drinking had finally had the better of me...I pursued something that I had no idea about and was not armed with the proper defense tools to deal with the consequences of lots of my actions and decisions. I was living promiscuously but I did not like it. I was ashamed of what I had become....what I was forced too become. During that time I met now my ex partner and father of my 2 kids, now 24 and 26 years old. They are my life. Except for them, that relationship was doomed from the start and it took me years to find the nerve to walk out, but it costs me dearly. Many years in court battles regarding custody issues and I lost. Moves across Canada and finally the kids decides to come live with me. And the challenge continues...
    • W T 100+

      • 0
      Jan 30 2013: Hi Sylvie,

      Thank you so much for wanting to be part of our discussion.

      In the definition I gave at the bottom of this conversation, there are some general ways that PA individuals act.

      You may wish to contribute some specific ways in which you have dealt with particular issues.
      It is not necessary to be very specific. You may wish to speak in general terms if you'd like.

      I am so sorry for all that you have gone through. I am sure your children love you very much. And it is wonderful that you have trusting friends to rely on.

      We are a work in progress......I look forward to reading whatever other information you wish to contribute.

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