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How can overly empathetic/sympathetic people compete in this world? Do they eventually end up jaded and bitter?
The saying goes "nice guys finish last". I interpret that "nice" means overly empathetic/sympathetic people who sacrifice themselves for others happiness. Kindness seems to be a sign of weakness in that saying, as though people prey on those kind-hearted people. If it were true, then how do kind people compete in this world? Is it some kind of evolutionary Yin and Yang, where a balance of certain personalities need to exist for progress to happen or do people have peaks and troughs of kindness in them?
Update: Thought I'd share a fascinating article found in the comments below:
http://www.huffingtonpost.ca/marcia-sirota/too-nice_b_946956.html
It is about the differences between being nice and being kind.
Closing Statement from Derek Young
Thank you all for your well thought comments. I have learned a lot and I hope you've all taken some knowledge from this as well.
Be mindful of those around you and tread lightly on the paths made by your brothers and sisters of humankind.
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Feyisayo Anjorin 50+
Love is a way to life, and your sacrifice tells a lot about your love.
Robert Winner 50+
The answer is of course that we know and accept who we are. Only then can I be at peace within. It is not either easy or convient to practice our beliefs or to chose what we consider to be the right. Those who end up either jaded or bitter have lost the courage of their convictions.
I wish you well. Bob.
Mary M. 100+
At times, even individuals who are "supposedly" kind and sympathetic people want to be "MORE" kind and sympathetic than the rest and can end up competing with others in this regard.
It takes time, and alot of discernment and observation of human nature, as well as meditating upon our own motivations for acting one way or another to come to a balance and not end up jaded or bitter.
I really liked the statement you made that we have to know and accept who we are.
The knowing who we are is one thing. The accepting takes a bit longer. I think perhaps that is where the question above comes from.....the struggle to once and for all accept that you are a sincere person and kind, and that you will have to be true to your convictions no matter what.
Alot of us have had this struggle, and some of us continue to have it, sometimes on a daily basis.
It's encouraging to talk to others who can empathize with this situation.
Mary
Derek Young 30+
Robert Winner 50+
The fire is not out .. but no longer roars ... it is steady and comforting.
Thanks for your reply.
I wish you well. Bob.
Derek Young 30+
Feyisayo Anjorin 50+
Jesus died for humanity; no other sacrifice of this kind is needed for the forgiveness of sin.
Mary M. 100+
I remember a while back having breakfast at a hotel while on vacation.
I was observing a young lady making waffles using the machine that dispenses the waffle mix, you know, the kind where you then take the mix and pour it in a hot cast iron waffle maker with a self-timer.
I was also observing an older woman with her grandkids looking at what the young lady was doing.
When the young lady put her batter in the waffle maker, the older woman then begins to attempt to get her batter into a cup, but fails. So, the young lady instructs her on how to release the batter.
The older woman, without looking up or thanking the young lady presses a lever, and batter starts to come out. HOWEVER, she did not keep her hand on the lever, and the batter was approaching the top of the cup and was going to spill.......so, the young lady says, "you need to lift up the lever, otherwise your cup will run over and batter will go everywhere".
At that moment, the older woman decides to lift her head and actually look at the young lady for the first time, and out poured her words........rotten words, unappreciative words, words to stab at the heart..................she spits out, "If I make a mess then it's my problem!"
At that moment I wanted to get up from my seat and tell that older woman a thing or two, but I just sat there observing, waiting to see what the young lady would do. And you know what the young lady did?
She smiled and walked away Derek.
She walked straight to my table and sat down.
She then said, "Mom, I can't do anything about people like that. I did what I knew was the right thing to do, now it's over, and I have to move on and not think about it"
There is a lesson in there somewhere. Can you find it?
Derek Young 30+