TED Conversations

Amy Peach

Director of Instructional Technology, Fontbonne University, St Louis, MO USA


This conversation is closed.

When do you keep pushing and when is it time to give up?

Learning to pick battles is an important life lesson. While working with people who have very different views is valuable in many respects, when does it cross the line into a battle of egos that doesn't move you closer to a goal? Please share experiences and insights you've had...be they professional or personal.


Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.

  • Jan 15 2013: Don't fall into the trap of not giving up "because you've already invested so much". A lot of people do that and end up losing more than they would have if they had given up as soon as it became clear (to everyone else) that it wasn't going anywhere.

    Also, don't try to lift the weight of the world on your shoulders: if other people choose to be a-holes it's not always your job to do something about it.

    Finally you have to accept that things that may seem obvious to you may not be obvious to other people, even when you know for sure you're right. Some things take experience or education to understand and they'll have to figure it out on their own, or not at all, which is not your responsibility, unless they ask sincerely for your help (you know they're being sincere when they're willing to listen to you and are open to changing their viewpoints).
    • thumb
      Jan 16 2013: Excellent point about a "trap". If it is simply an idea that I am pursuing that doesn't have any direct, immediate impact on either of our lives, it's much easier to give up on it. The only time I personally struggle with it is when it directly impacts an event where other people I care about feel the effects.

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.