This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »
Why were YOU were born?
What is your Why and How are You? So what if it matters... The why can be a wild discovery about yourself, an interesting moment when and if, you discover it... and very amazing if you will share it here. [thank you]
Closing Statement from Terry Torok
WHY WERE YOU BORN?
...
{sorry, a last minute iphone edit placed an inadvertent extra "were"} Some people believe the most important day of thier life is the day you discover WHY you were born. The individual true stories below relate to the power of parenting and being at peace with (or without) the pursuit of the "why". I was inspired and amazed by the open sharing of each story of Why. And Why not, when you considered the interesting people who participated! Thank you.
Kate Blake 50+
Terry Torok 100+
Thank you for your perfect thoughts... on the Why of you. Great stories, all true.
Terry Torok
Live from Earth
hal morris
Recently... He celebrated his 80th birthday... and... We had a card shower for him... He received 140 cards... One Childhood friend commented on my facebook page... that the reason all the kids love and loved him... was because he made them feel special... It's true...
It is really easy to lift someone... especially when you are looking for the best in them... and... that one very important lesson my Dad taught me... makes my life beautiful... "Since most learn by imitation... they need models rather than critics..." -unknown
Although, there are over 45 projects I have planned.... I would say that the reason I was born is... I hope that each person I meet will have the opportunity to see the mirror reflection of their own beauty in my eyes...
that really is the reason I was born...
Terry Torok 100+
Re:markable Hal, thank you for this. Thanks for great fathers too. {i had one loved by everyone} It seems your dad had the gift of being truly INTERESTED in people, and thus he was truly INTERESTING, and made everyone feel special. Strong and true, thank you for a perfect reflection.
hal morris
It was my privilege!
May your brilliant work, voice and vision continue to expand and prosper... and... Illuminate the World around you!
Andrea Morisette Grazzini 30+
I'm reluctant to say I 'know' anything in any absolute way. Which maybe informs my 'Why' I was born. But, here's what I've got:
I expect my 'Why' is to use my abilities for perceiving, seeing, assessing and communicating the intersections where axiomatic dissonances and connections merge, or could. And use my 'puzzle'-solving abilities to conceive ways to maximize this 'rare space.' I tend to look beyond, around or underneath what everyone else sees--it's more interesting for me to seek what isn't known. There is often such rich illuminations in these lesser-observed or trod vistas--often quite profound. In them I find deeper, more authentic patterns that offer untapped if not more elegant answers. As these come into sight, I feel compelled to share them with others in ways they too can perceive and act on them.
I suspect my purpose is to be a bridge to other views and ways of different people, environments and experiences. There seems a spiritual element in this all. It draws me in, erases fears others might have and 'fuels' me in unexplainable and transcendent ways.
In fact, I've experienced a palpable 'awakening' of this all. Until the last decade or so I was far more instinct-based, much less conscious of it. But during a transformative time around 2000, I began intentionally orienting my work/life/spirituality around my 'purpose, passion and predicament.'
Purpose hints at my "Why," of course. Passion gets at my "How," somewhat. When I feel compelled in an "can't hold back," way to whatever. Predicament also addresses "How," It's where I live, what stages my family is at, our relative health, financial status, etc. As well as my current abilities: what I'm credentialed, qualified or able to do, given numerous variables.
Most gratifyingly, I'm increasingly aware of much 'evidence' of my 'Why' and 'How,' via 'too-coincidental' coincidences and others' resonant observations. All inspire me to 'go with- and grow with it' all.
Andrea
Terry Torok 100+
Do you find that your awakening occurred because you simply gave yourself some devoted time or permission to focus on you? or was it a longer journey of discover while life pulled you in many directions?
Andrea Morisette Grazzini 30+
Now, to your Q.
I've always been reflective and curious, so some of this I've been aware of for some time, particularly the spiritual and passions for seeing deeper/beyond and bridging diversities. But I only began engaging this all with intention when my second child was born, three months premature. At the time I was in the corporate world, consulting after having left the tech-company I'd founded shortly after my daughters birth, two years before. I had to drop everything for my son's care, which included being 'quarantined' with him at home, to protect his frail immune system.
I was pretty sure I'd go crazy from the stress and lack of mental stimulation, and shared this with a friend. She suggested I use the time to reflect my bigger picture more deeply. I'd been doing so in fits and starts, but hadn't quite been able to put it all together. She suggested I read Parker Palmer's "Let Your Life Speak," which I found insightful and empowering.
What came out of all this was a new career as a journalist--it connected a Passion (writing) with my Predicament (family needs). Purpose was less defined, except that I was committed to insuring I snuck empathic human connections in my articles. A profile I did on a civic engagement guru seduced me into community organizing. I sought him later on an initiative I led. The work was idealistic if not overly-so, but I was smitten. A leading thinker in the field covered my work in a book.
As I read his "Citizen Solution" all came into clarity, fully opening my eyes, mind and heart to my Why and How--and to ongoing iterations of both.
Andrea
Juliette Zahn 50+
Thank you Andrea for your inspiration , Great to see you :) Long time!!
I like your 3 'P's and the inspiration in the way you 'found' your way... When I was about 9 years old, I learned something that shaped my concept of 'predicament' and planted a question in my mind, which I am still searching for answers to. The book I read was a biography of Vincent Van Gogh. He had purpose and he had passion. He was a highly empathic purposeful person (initially trained himself to be a priest). He was capable of feeling essential beauty of life and even transferring that passion through his genius to others. And despite the fact that everyone "gets" his art 80 years afterwards, he was unable to make himself understood in 'real time' (during his time on earth), which put him in a 'predicament' that did not support his own life. So the question that has been in the back of my head, all these years, is what could Vincent Van Gogh have done to live a decent full life?
I look forward to hearing from you and Terry and others here and if this thread is closed then in another:-)
Andrea Morisette Grazzini 30+
Good to connect here on TED, again. And, thanks to Terry for 'getting us here' with a great Q.
This Van Gogh 'predicament' is indeed worth pondering, Juliette. I wonder how his path might parallel others. Steve Jobs comes to mind. Of course, his passion wasn't most specifically art, but it most certainly was in the realm: design that conveys essential, transferable empathy--via consumer products. The upshot for Jobs: he usually was paid--while Van Gogh wasn't as well.
I also wonder how our host, here, Terry might answer this thought re: Van Gogh. Terry, from what little I know, has translated similar energies via his 'day job.'
All this reminds me of 'Citizen Professionalism' a word and practice developed by my first (and still) civic engagement advisor, Bill Doherty. This reframing of purpose/passion with predicament more specifically understood as ones profession, blends vocation with avocation with community. In other words, taking ones' professional skills and abilities a 'step further' into civic endeavors which one is passionate about and supporting them with ones' professional gifts.
Here's a couple of essays I wrote on the themes:
This one addresses how Bill himself practices it, as a therapist/leader: http://dynamicshift.org/archives/coaches-time-to-train-citizen-fathers
And, this offers examples from his Citizen Professional Center:
http://dynamicshift.org/archives/the-radical-humanity-of-citizen-professionalism
Finally, as for Van Gogh, I wonder how he could have 'conspired' (perhaps did) with artists and producers like those covered in Lary May's The Big Tomorrow: Hollywood and the Politics of the American Way. Van Gogh, of course, might have been more interested in European politics.
May shows how artists and others in creative fields parlayed their purpose and passion into their predicament during the Great Depression. They demonstrate wonderful ways to if not be 'understood' in their times, to at least impact them.
Andrea
Juliette Zahn 50+
Bill Doherty & Brad Fiedler are both amazing men!! Reading about “citizen fathers” is like reading that a new river is flowing into a desert valley. The lag in development of consciousness in this area, was becoming discouraging & I hope “Fatherhood Project” is sharing their teachings with the world.
Dynamic shift - is the most pressing need of humanity right now. Which brings us right to Steve and Vincent. Steve was able to open a long forgotten ‘door’ that no one else had opened before him, he built a ‘bridge’ and left it for the rest of the world to cross. I often think of him in my head and keep bouncing ideas off to figure a solution for Vincent:-) It is like we are all built with both sides of the brain, but we have been trained and educated only in one. Kind of like an engine with two cylinders in which only the left one has been firing for the past few hundred yrs causing us to move very inefficiently and not always forward in direction.
http://www.ted.com/talks/iain_mcgilchrist_the_divided_brain.html
Its been a pleasure talking with you all on the TTB....down to the last ‘minute’... I look forward to ‘seeing’ you again soon and continue our co-creation of a solution for Vincent!
Meanwhile this is for magical Brad;
http://www.ted.com/talks/sue_austin_deep_sea_diving_in_a_wheelchair.html
(I am sure he has already watched all videos Nick Vujicic)
Andrea Morisette Grazzini 30+
You are a light of energy, thanks for you kind words and your 'shares' of mine wherever you feel they might add something.
And what a delight to connect the Brad story with Steve's powerful story. I can't wait to share the link you sent to him. And, meanwhile, will send another you and Steve might like.
This one about David, a young man with serious neurological damage, and serious leadership skills-- on the basketball court, of all things:
http://dynamicshift.org/archives/crooked-young-man-offers-more-to-society-than-corrupt-ceos
All best!
Andrea
Juliette Zahn 50+
I am back as promised. And thankful to you for inspiring me to search deep within, through and far outside myself, (which resulted in a three-hundred page writing plus another two page poem) to find my why, and which is: To be me. It sounds simple and achievable, since I was born as me ;-) yet turns out to be a strangely monumental task for even a butterfly!
Terry Torok 100+
whew, you're back, in the nick of time... then again, I believe everything actually occurs in "the nick of time" if you think about it. Possibly Buckminster Fuller (?) first introduced this thought (maybe somebody knows). My friend Marshall Thurber is my Buckypedia- I will inquire.
You are truly unique Julliette, perfect that you and you alone are, you. As our friend Deepak often states... we are human "beings" not human "doings" thus our strong default position is to return to center and "BE". Albeit, I contend, and think he would agree, from there, a Human in Action with a positive purpose and kindness... is fulfilling... fulfilling to self and life... Maybe this is simply Human Kind.
You are a great story, I enjoy your comments and look forward to 300 pages, poems and your next flight...
Juliette Zahn 50+
I'll buy it anyway cause I trust in the nick, Buckaroo trim tab, and even in the vacuum....lol.
Stacey Hall
Every day, while laying in bed, I would ask God to help me heal my heart of all the hurts that were keeping me ill. I promised that once I had received the lessons, I would teach them to others to help them learn how to heal their hearts.
I made slow progress until March 2007 when I was introduced to the use of essential oils, which boosted my energy so tremendously that I was out of bed within 3 days...and have not returned.
As I continued ot restore my health, I became a Licensed Spiritual Healer and a Certified Natural Therapies Coach. I also wrote a current best-seller that shares all the ways that I lifted my energy and healed myself.
I am blessed and honored that so many others are practicing the tips I share and passing them along to others ... creating a grassroots movement called Chi-To-Be! (as in the energy to be whatever we are meant to be).
Terry Torok 100+
Stacey thank you... this is a fantastical transformation... and now we're in the path of the butterfly effect... chance that, before time of "Why" runs out you could list your best seller and some insight on....‘Attracting Perfect Customers…The Power of Strategic Synchronicity,’ and for those who like to click on curiosity, I found this... http://www.chi-to-be.com/about-stacey
Steve Vernon
Terry Torok 100+
From my son, I receive tons of love and a deep lesson in patience and perserverance ever day. What a gift. And man, thank you for yours.
Juliette Zahn 50+
Hi Steve:) We are all here for a brief time and living this life is about give and take. We provide a service we get paid. That enables us to give money to someone else and get food and shelter for our family. The person who got it then can give it the same way, everyone's basic human needs are met forward. Through give and take the most fundamental requirement for being HUMAN = DIGNITY is preserved. At first glance a special needs person seems like a taker not a giver. And it is only after spending time with one that we learn that they are the ones who give without taking anything from this world. They are here to make us better humans, maybe even help us get our wings and become Angels ;-) I wish everyone would sit through watching this entire film: " An Infinite Tenderness(Une Infinie Tendresse)1970"-
HUMAN = DIGNITY
Grant Fenton
I'm about to become a father for the first time at 48 - the same age my father was when I was born. Now I see that the new life I was put on this planet for wasn't just my fathers. The new life is about to arrive. That's my purpose. That's my reason to be here. Its the one thing in life I know for certain I'm going to be great at. I'm not a bad CEO, I'm good with people, I can play the piano OK, I can draw a bit, sing alright, be thoughtful as a friend; But the thing I know I'll be perfect at is being a father.
Terry Torok 100+
(she also says, "laugh or go mad", with one handful of vitamins, the other, dark chocolate)
Thanks for your note above... I never had the keys to a piano, but your son does, there must a few perfect notes, to change the tune of a crying kid into a moment of wonderment?
Grant, thanks for this, Happy Father's day.
Par SAM
I think the aim is life, it is important without any reason who can feel life as good as impossible in his mind....
Terry Torok 100+
Thanks Par Sam for a most important PEACE of the PUZZLE.
Comment deleted
Terry Torok 100+
Nothing like a new child to to awaken new thought... even if, it's 3 AM.
Colleen Steen 500+
Anybody ever tell you the life experience would "come with ease"?.......guess I missed that memo...LOL:>)
Colleen Steen 500+
Kudos to you for realizing the wonderful gifts children can bring to us simply by "being" children...very curious, open, trusting, honest, and unconditionally loving. We can learn SO much from them about how to truly "BE" in the life adventure. I agree that being aware of our ability to make choices is very powerful! Well said my friend:>)
Aki N
This might be too poetic or abstract, but when I think about why I was born, my thought spreads and go beyond every aspect like cultural, social, historical, scientific and in the end I would say....I was born "because I'm a part of a flow". I don't know where the flow starts and where it ends, I don't know what the "flow" is, but it's huge, I feel it's moving, a flow becomes a flow since it moves, it moves, that's why I was born and will disappear, as everything does.
Terry Torok 100+
Perfectly Poetic Aki, thank you. I have been often been accused of being too esoteric and abstract... somehow it all makes perfect sense in my head (!) My friend and TEDster Jeff Walker described certain life moments in similar terms as... collective flow, heightened by moments when humankind is aligned in emotion and energy.... when you feel it or help create it, you can help guide a flow in a possible and positive action.
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/jeffrey-walker/collective-flow-state-fro_b_2614505.html
My only thought on you, or any of us disappearing... perhaps the flow continues, and even for those in another time, it's like sound that never actually disappears, it quiets by a reduction equation... IF true, we might as well make a beautiful noise on this one ride... IF not, then we might as well make a beautiful noise on this one ride. It's a great moment in history to find, humans kind. thank you for yours Aki.
Fritzie Reisner 100+
Aki N
I didn't know the word zeitgeist. Actually the movie looks interesting. I will check it out, thank you.
Terry Torok 100+
When and IF you discover or believe WHY you were born, does it drive HOW you live your life...?
[Thank you for your thoughts and thumbs above and below...]
Colleen Steen 500+
To follow up on my previous statement regarding WHY.........
"Does it drive HOW you live your life?"
I don't feel any sense of being "driven".....unless we're talking about being in the drivers seat! The idea of how and why does not drive me.....I do feel, however that I am in the drivers seat of the life experience, with many choices along the life journey. The ideas of how and why do not drive me, I drive the ideas of how and why...make any sense?
What I stated previously:
"... it all depends on how I choose to use each and every moment in the life adventure. From the time I was a wee little child, I always had the feeling that life was about learning, growing and evolving as an individual, while contributing to the whole. I have always felt like an explorer....adventurer....observer in the life experience, while also actively participating. That idea embraces every single moment of my existance on this earth school. To me, it really feels very simple:>)"
I like exploring the life/death cycle with curiosity, and I feel good about not knowing some things, because that adds to the adventure. When we "think" we have all the answers, we (humans) sometimes stop the exploration, which, in my humble perception, causes life to be less interesting:>)
Thank YOU for the questions Terry, which cause us to ponder:>)
Juliette Zahn 50+
Terry Torok 100+
Joshua Farley
natasha nikulina 50+
Terry Torok 100+
You are a remarkable person Joshua, thank you. True.
Juliette Zahn 50+
Terry Torok 100+
If you have a moment to contribute Why YOU were born... please do, whether you know, or you are in discovery or think it's bunk. {first time using bunk in a sentence, looking it up now}
Brevity and bravado invited with latitude for levity... Thank YOU, to whom is next, and next...
Don Rogers
Wanting to give Him children, She created this universe and one perfect solar system in which She created life and eventually man, whose brain was given 'mind' as was Her own an eternity ago. As their liaison to Her Husband and needing to give Their potential children a perfect example of conduct, obedience and respect of Her masculine Husband (an example to carefully follow), She divested Herself of Her gender, and He placed her life-force into a mortal womb where She eventually became Her Husband's first Son.
With the life of The Creator being worth more than creation, the death of The Son more than pays for any debt incurred by transgressions, giving each potential child an opportunity to make proper choices and be moulded into a mortal whose mind can be eternally trusted with the power to create a universe, life, more, and can then be birthed into God's realm to become His children and His Equals. They will give Him Grandchildren, and Those will give Him Great-Grandchildren and so "ON", never-ending. This is the "why".
Terry Torok 100+
Don Rogers
Your servant
Don
Lilian Encinas Villagran
My husband died eight years ago, and since then I have been trying to figure out a new life without him. I has been a tough journey, but one that has allowed me to grow in unimaginable ways.
Now I know that I was born to GIVE, without any expectation whatsoever. I am one of those fortunate people who has been given the virtue of generosity, so I am here to give, and that is and should be enough.
Terry Torok 100+
Terry Torok 100+
It's hard to think of the man without hearing his powerful words "I have a dream"...
What if, the voice we heard was our own, and we were not Dreaming... we were Doing {?} Terry Torok
Colleen Steen 500+
As I watched the inauguration this afternoon, I wondered.....do you suppose that Martin Luther King had any idea, as part of his dream, that 50 years later, we would have a president of this country who is a man of color? He speaks of freedom, equality, citizen rights..."let freedom ring", etc. I wonder if he imagined.....
Do you think we are finally "doing"?
I have a dream speech:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=smEqnnklfYs
Terry Torok 100+
Patricia Guzmán (Calderón Koch) 10+
Terry Torok 100+
Kamlesh Parajuli
Social pressure sometimes gets to me and convinces me that I have to be special, that I need a purpose, that I'm going somewhere, but I have come to find that looking for a purpose didn't make me happy.
My life has absolutely no purpose, and that's the way I like it. Although I have to fight everyday to stay real. Some might call it a purpose, but for me it's pure survival. It's moving my consciousness from my brain down to my guts.
Thanks for opening this discussion and taking the pulse of TED fans.
Genevieve Tran 50+
i was born because my mom and dad believe in the chinese zodiac and needed my symbol to "balance the household" lol (more common than ppl realize...)
my walking around in life thinking i'm "special" and need/have a "purpose" is just because said parents did a great job in the early years of convincing me of it.
Terry Torok 100+
Kamlesh Parajuli
Terry Torok 100+
Kamlesh Parajuli
I used to be obsessed with my role in this world. Every encounter was a chance to transform a life, to help reduce the amount of suffering within a person. I really thought I could influence people to become more happy, and I wanted to do it fast. Then I realized I couldn't gage where each person stood in their spiritual process, so I couldn't control how fast a thought would sink in, or if it ever would.
So I'm learning to let it go. I'm basically trying to shut down the buzz in my head, because as you say, it's usually misleading. I remain aware that I have a role in this world, as does every piece of energy surrounding us, but I accept that I have no idea what it is. It can be scary at times and make me feel like I'm skidding, but then I look around me, and find pretty much everyone is skidding unconsciously.
Thanks for your insights Terry, I really appreciate. Have fun with your show.
Terry Torok 100+
You never know when a 'peace' of information lands with someone, or yourself... My highschool music teacher once blurted out something profound to the class, it didn't hit me untill after college, I tracked him down to tell him years later to thank him... he was like, "I said that?" ... "yep" He said, wow, I really needed to hear that right now.
I'm not sure if the bee has a good buzz in its head, but I hope so... should be high on all that pure pollen... lot of people talk about the butterfly analgous to people "giving back" starts as a catapillar into total consumption until munching 10x it's weight, then goes into a shell and a fantastic transformation... emmerging as a butterfly, and as the analogy goes... now able to "give back." So you can be a consumer, live large, munch away, maybe experience a transformation and give back and share your good work. The analogy is all cool, until a big bird consumes the catapillar. (oh s%¥t)
Marie-France Lacroix
Terry Torok 100+
Comment deleted
Colleen Steen 500+
Sara Kim
Terry Torok 100+
Sara Kim
eiman dai
Terry Torok 100+