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How is it possible to turn an argument into a mutually beneficial outcome?
when two involved parties are arguing, it seems to be over a disagreement where both sides of the argument want an outcome that conflicts with the opposition.
however, often both sides of the argument want the same outcome (ie. peace) and it is not a matter of getting there, it is a matter of how to get there.
how can ordinary people step in to offer advice, where needed, to create a mutually beneficial outcome for both sides of an argument?
does anyone have examples of a resolution where two sides of an argument were dealt with according to the desired goal for everyone involved? please share your experience.
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Colleen Steen 500+
I suggest that to turn an "argument into a mutually beneficial outcome" it is helpful for the participants (or at least one of the participants) to give up the idea of "winning" the argument. It is important to recognize that we are all different, with different thoughts, feelings, perceptions, perspectives, ideas and opinions. If we genuinely want to have a beneficial discussion, it is important to give up the idea that we are "right"....that our way is the only "right", "good", "best", etc. It is important to really listen, hear, and try to understand each other. It is important to be well aware of our intent, and how to manifest "peace", if that is indeed what all parties are seeking.
Yes....I have an example to share:
Years ago, I was mediating with 3 convicted felons...father, mother and son. They were all angry....all trying to blame the other for their "problems", not listening at all to one another or really caring about the fact that they all contributed to what they were experiencing. I encouraged them to stop screaming at one another with accusations....got them to speak truthfully and look each other in the eye while expressing their anger, insecurities (fear) to one another. Did the experience change their lives? Who the heck knows? For that one session, however, they got a taste of something different that MIGHT help facilitate something different in their personal relationship.
griffin tucker 10+
this makes me wonder if video-phone conversations are more likely to solve an argument than regular audio-phone conversations, since emotion can be more clearly displayed via body language and can be reacted to accordingly.
that being said, i've had video-phone on my mobile phone for a very long time, and never use it, even though i could in many, many situations. sometimes i even prefer to use text messaging instead of a phone call, too, which i think a lot of the younger generations are similar to in this regard.
video-phone opens up the possibility of seeing each other's eyes and facial expressions, and could even reduce the likelihood of a disagreement from even beginning to occur, just because of our subconscious want to get what we want out of a conversation the best way possible - without arguing.
Colleen Steen 500+
That being said, your idea of video phone helps more than no video. I believe that if we listen carefully and really hear the other person, we can still have good communications electronically.