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Why America is Emotionally and Physically Tired.

It is the ignored, neglected and undetected emotional baggage in the brain that is the most common cause of all this tiredness.

The most common cause of tiredness is due to our 'emotional baggage belief' of being the best. This is one cause that we as parents erroneously integrate into the physical brain structure of our children. We will be taking a big step in removing so much tiredness from our children's lives if only we did not tell our children that they are the best; and instead took steps to make them become the best.

Consider the Biblical story of Adam and Eve. They were living in total bliss in heaven unaware of their own position, limitations and responsibilities, without any need to worry about their future, or have any ambitions of power or hunger for knowledge. They were blissfully happy with a totally relaxed and happy brain and mind. Suddenly Satan introduced all the elements of fear, jealousy, greed, ambition and their limitations, the chances to disobey and break the laws. Their chance to become god themselves by knowing good and evil drove them to commit evil. Thus Satan introduced evil by telling them their status of being powerless without the knowledge of good and evil.

Similarly by telling our child that he is the best we introduce a personality changing evil that introduces the worst emotional baggage into the brain's physical infrastructure. The child was totally lost in a happy life of living in the now. Becoming aware of being the best raises expectations, introduces an element of status, creates a phony overconfidence, makes the child compare his own self with others. Instead of living in reality the child dreams of being # 1. He expects to come ahead of all others. As this seldom happens in the real world; the elements of jealousy, greed, hatred, anger, confusion, guilt, ambition all become part of the personality. Even happiness gets elusive.

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    Jan 7 2013: The only reason people get tired is from being stopped.

    Lets see the cost of education that is absolutely a stop and sure as hell will slow you down some. Regulations are a stop in business. Taxes are a stop, you work your ass off and we give away what you earn. Regulations regarding "political correctness" are a stop. The worst economy since the thirties is a stop. Uncertainty regarding the future thanks to the cowboy POTUS is a stop. Wars that have lasted longer than any in history is a stop to what the future holds. The declining worth of the American people is a stop. The endless charity to immigrants is a stop to American workers. Etc. Etc. Gee I can't imagine why people are tired?

    To teach anyone to look for praise is monumentally stupid.
    • Jan 7 2013: I did not say that the emotional baggage is the only stop. The emotional baggage makes the other stops worse. 'Even in today's economy about 20% people are truly happy and the stops do not apply to them. Ever wonder why? Because they are effortlessly happy as they are their authentic pure selves and not their phony self images. Most of these problems you mention are man made that would be different in a wise society. Emotionally challenged brains cause emotionally challenged behavior that is the cause of all this mess. The solution is massive reeducation wisdom seminars for adults and training for parents and teachers...
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        Jan 7 2013: I don't think so, the solution is to remove the stops.
        • Jan 7 2013: 80% of brains are emotionally challenged. The current policies are a direct result of this. Imagine how society will be if 90%+ brains were emotionally super healthy. Even our leaders have emotional baggage which is reflected in the political mess in Washington.
  • Jan 8 2013: Sajid.
    Would you please clarify for me what you mean? It appears to me that you would like children to discover themselves without all this "emotional baggage" but you use the phrase in your second paragraph, " make them become the best."
    Making someone sounds like an awful lot of pressure not only for the children but for those adults who are doing their best to "make them" become something the adult may want more than the child. I personally don't like the sound of "making them into anything" so I'm not sure what you meant by that. It sounds contradictory to what you want.
    As I understand the story of Adam and Eve (though I don't believe in it), this Biker Devil lied to them and that is what split their oneness from God, from themselves and from each other.

    Lying, or the act of deceiving (the misrepresentation of reality to another person's conscious mind), creates a split in the psyche, which then leads to doubt about what one knows, their senses, their intuition and thus, not trusting themselves, or what they already know or knew. This leads to neurosis and neurosis are not true. It's emotionally draining because one is always either going against themselves, sabotaging themselves, or not sure of what to do because they are split from everything they once knew, but never had to go through. The constant battle in life seems to be learning to trust oneself, no matter what another thinks or says.

    While it is not wrong to lie, I do believe it is wrong to lie to children in their early, formative years and that this is what leads to most kinds of mental illnesses that are not of an organic nature. A study done in 2008-2009 revealed that more parents are lying more often to their children about more things. And the most recent Comorbidity Replication Survey that I read stated that mental illness is in over one-half the U.S. population, is spreading (growing larger) and begins at the age of eleven. Parents pass on the lies they were taught, making them neurotic.
    • Jan 8 2013: Wow! A 5 star comment.
      Instead of telling the child that he is a champion; make the child become a champion. Look at how champions are raised. Tiger Woods dad did not tell Tiger he is a champion, he gave Tiger a golf stick and ball and made him practice, practice and practice. This practical learning process has to be introduced early without telling the child that he is the best.

      You got it exactly right. We introduce lies into our child's emotional personality causing the child to become his phony self image. No wonder our lives are partly phony. In fact most of the man made mess is due to our emotionally challenged behavior which results from our emotional baggage planted in us by our own parents and even society.

      In my observation the so called normal majority is actually sub-normal and it is due to our trophy self image. All that is required is a shift in the traditional ways in which we bring up our children. We need to bring up our children on truth. We need to know how to create wisdom from early on.

      Whether the Bible is true or not but there are lessons in the Bible that explain wisdom and the pure self.
      • Jan 10 2013: Hi Sajid.
        I don't know if the above comment was a reply to me or not but I wished to add something to what you recently wrote.
        In my eyes & in my mind, the so-called "normal majority" as you called them, are not (only) sub-normal, but they are seriously mentally ill, bordering on insanity, & certainly headed that way en masse. They seem normal to one another & cannot spot mental illness or insanity because everyone around them is mentally ill if not outright insane. It isn't those shooting people in schools. They aren't the majority.

        I add to this: the fact that there is so much lying going on, by the media for decade after decade, by parents (a child's worst enemy), by educational institutions, by government, by religion, by movies, books and other methods of embedding false information into another's psyche, creates or has created and introduced the very first form of Artificial Intelligence into the populations of the world, particularly the Un-united States. AI isn't coming in the form of robots. It is however, coming in the form of humans who are rendered into being mental robots, thus, they have artificial intelligence embedded in their psyche. They are mental robots. It is so common to hear people say, "what was I supposed to think?" Well, You, meaning they, were supposed to think!!!
        They were not supposed to just think what they were told or have been told to think, believe, say or do and conversely, not believe, not think, not say or not do, because they were told to.

        They should all be reminded that William Casey, the head of the CIA in 1981 stated,
        "We will know when our program of disinformation is complete, when everything the American people believe, is false!"

        First, people have to wake up or be woken up.
        That is a Herculean task.
        They have Manchurian Candidates for political office & the citizens are Manchurian Citizens.
        And they still believe voting works. Voting is doing the same thing over & over and expecting different results. Insanity
        • Jan 10 2013: Dear Random: The above was a reply to your comment.
          Unfortunately much of the lying is due to ignorance about the very nature of what is wrong. We teach the mind and we miseducate the brain. Parents, teachers, society all create phony self images instead of pure selves. The so-called animal nature of man is nothing but the emotionally challenged brain that is created by our faulty upbringing.

          If we can get together ten people from TED and then start a chain awareness we will be able to spread the right knowledge.
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    Jan 8 2013: People may get tired from lack of progress in their pursuits after prolonged effort (regardless of whether the obstacle is internal or external) or from seemingly endless repetition of things that seem pointless.

    Many people are not perfectionists and yet get tired.

    People use a variety of physical and mental strategies to maintain balance rather than living continuously overwhelmed. Exercise works well for some people. Practices like meditation work for others. Different authors/coaches and so forth propose different strategies for keeping on an even keel. Play, nature, "unnecessary creating,' volunteerism, "artists dates," journaling, "morning pages"...
    • Jan 8 2013: I fully agree with you but the emotional baggage creates its own problems along with tiredness.
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        Jan 8 2013: You had asked about tiredness specifically, but the activities I mentioned above are put forward by their many proponents, along with yoga, writing gratitudes, and so forth, to address what you might call emotional baggage.

        Anthony Robbins gives one of the TED talks arguably in this area, though not focusing on children,and Martin Seligman another. One might also consider Elizabeth Gilbert's talk on this point.

        The most widely read blog in this area, if I am not mistaken, is called Zen Habits. The Greater Good Research Center at Berkeley has a Raising Happiness newsletter you might also find interesting for its focus on raising kids in an emotionally healthy way, though I know there is a wealth of material out there in this area. There is also a lot written about countering perfectionism, so your concern about those who aim to be the best is in good company!
        • Jan 8 2013: There are many, many experts who have solutions to removing the emotional baggage. I have improved the traditional way myself. Here is one of my paths to wisdom:

          Self actualization through locating, identifying and awakening your true self.

          The majority of us mankind suffer from an emotionally challenged brain; fortunately most Americans have borderline emotional baggage that projects an overconfident or under confident trophy self image. However the real self is always there and the trick is to locate your true self, identify with it and gradually strengthen and expand your true self's control over your self image. Eventually dissolving the phony self image into thin air and becoming your pure self.

          Putting the emotional personality under the microscope from a third person's point of view is a fundamental technique of self improvement through self analysis. One must learn to identify with the so called third person as the person's own pure self. After all this assumed third person is none other than your very own self.

          Thus the third person no longer is just an imaginary made up person viewing the emotionally challenged personality; it is the very real person himself who is doing the self analysis. Learn to identify with your true self and then with your true self observe your true self observing your phony self image. Observe and figure out why your true self is not free. Why you have fear, sleeplessness, anger, jealousy, greed or whatever etc. In short figure out what kind of emotionally challenged personality/self you are and what are the reasons stopping you from having an emotionally healthy/pure self.

          The emotional baggage is the past emotional hurts and pains that are buried memory 'slaps' to the pure self. Once these unconscious hurts are relived and emotionally re-experienced under the watchful gaze of your true self they disappear faster. Of course as is always the case some may need professional help.
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        Jan 8 2013: I am familiar with this sort of self-reflective approach. It's part of what those in education and psychology call metacognition. Cognitive and emotional self regulation through self reflection and self talk gets a lot of attention in schools here at around grade three through eight, which developmentally is the most important time for it. (The language is different, in the sense that no concept of the "pure self' is invoked).
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    Jan 7 2013: Being tired reminds us of our humanity.
    Read Isaiah 40:30-31
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    Gail .

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    Jan 7 2013: Your take on the mythical Adam & Eve story is very different from the text.

    Adam & Eve were made in the image of god/the gods (both "I" as God and "we" as gods are used.) This means that Adam and Eve were gods. But when they judged good and evil (ate of the tree of knowledge of good and evil) they lost their perspective, thus their ability to use their godly powers. At that point, they saw evil in themselves and each other, and in this way, came to fear death.

    The Garden of Eden (the ability to be gods and not see evil) was protected from those who choose to see evil. The story does not say that you cannot re-enter the garden. It says that the way was blocked for those who reject their godliness. The only way to get back into the garden is to stop judging (perceiving) good and evil. The only way for a christian to do that is to walk through his/her fears. Fear is the flaming sword.

    The way to help a child is to remind him/her of the birthright of godliness, and help them to see BEYOND silly superstitious notions of good and evil and "specialness" in that context.

    If you teach a child that evil exists, and that the child is born with an inexorable seed of evil (that you can overcome but not remove by accepting some else's sacrifice as a ticket to heaven), you inflict gave damage on the child. The child grows up fearful. Those who are fearful cannot enter back into the garden/heaven because the way is blocked.

    Those who dare face their fears, find their own inherent perfection, and realize that they actually are made in god's perfect image, can enter the garden.

    Why do you think that Jesus talked often and much about "judge not"?

    You would be amazed to know how many ex-christians have learned that Jesus is to be taken at his word (except the cut off your hands or pluck out your eyes part - which were obvious additions to his words.) Because of this, we have learned how to use our godly power. We are called evil by xtians because of this.
    • Jan 7 2013: "Why do you think that Jesus talked often and much about "judge not"?" Exactly right!

      Before Satan, Adam and Eve were living the attributes of an emotionally healthy life. Satan introduced emotional sickness by making the brain emotionally challenged. Satan introduced emotional baggage in the form of conscious selfishness. Man changed into ignorance from wisdom. We parents do the same with our children. We introduce all the elements of ignorance by transforming our child into a trophy self image.

      The rules are clear for creating wisdom. Postpone self identity as much as possible. Let the child enjoy post natal life engrossed in emotional and physical pleasure as much as possible. Let the child live in the now. Let the answer to the most vital question,'Who am I' get set into the physical brain innately'. Let the self identity of the child build up through love, hugs and kisses. Through a healthy upbringing and not by introducing a phony self image of the child being the best. This nurturing behavior must continue till the child reaches the age of six as the self identity of the child is well set by age six. Let the child learn its self identity effortlessly and innately by experiencing life through a super mature emotionally healthy upbringing.

      The mistake we make is we think God made us into gods. He made us His image. It is like an apple in the mirror. The image of the apple is what he made not the apple!

      Jesus is talking to us in code only because He wants to make sure we understand
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        Gail .

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        Jan 7 2013: Well, there is no sense going on. YOu have filled the story with your imaginings so completely that it no longer makes sense.

        Jesus didn't talk in Code. If you take Jesus at his word, you will find that he is saying something very different from that which your christian leaders want you to hear.

        Curious that you use the word "code" to justify your calling jesus a liar.
        • Jan 8 2013: In the light of the latest research in neuroscience the bible and Jesus is proving to be true. Jesus talks about casting out evil. Evil in science terms is the emotional baggage. And to cure the emotionally challenged behavior the emotional baggage has to be cast out.

          The more you put Jesus under the microscope of science the more you will see that Jesus is talking science!
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        Gail .

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        Jan 9 2013: Yes, In the light of the latest research in neuroscience the bible and THE TEACHINGS OF Jesus are proving to be true. Too bad that Christianity doesn't like the teachings of Jesus, preferring those of Paul instead. We could solve our world problems in a matter of months.
        • Jan 9 2013: It is amazing how our Bible experts have mostly missed the true message of the Bible.

          The fundamental question that each person has to answer correctly is: 'Who am I?'

          God has clearly told us the answer to this most essential question, 'Who am I?'

          First, God is saying that He is Wisdom. He is Pure. As opposed to God having wisdom or God knowing wisdom.

          God is also telling us that He has made man in God's Own Image. Which means that man too in his pure form is wisdom as opposed to man having wisdom or knowing wisdom.

          Jesus has repeated again and again, in fact 83 times, that He is the 'son of man'. Jesus represents what is humanly possible. Jesus is telling us that we too can be like Jesus; pure and wise.

          The question is how can man become wise/wisdom?

          Note: it is about becoming wise, not having wisdom or knowing wisdom. The reason that our current wisdom education is a failure is because we make no attempt to becoming wisdom as we try to teach wisdom like we teach math and science. All that the current wisdom education does is make the student knowledgeable about wisdom. So man ends up having the knowledge of wisdom instead of becoming wisdom. Which means man with current wisdom education remains unwise while having the knowledge of wisdom. It is the same as man having the knowledge of what it means to be a millionaire while remaining poor; rather than becoming rich and being a millionaire.

          It is very clear from the message of the Bible that man needs to be made into his pure self. As the pure self is effortlessly and innately not just wise; the pure self is wisdom. Pure man is exactly the way God made the original man and so wisdom education is about making man physically pure. In science terms it is about making the brain pure, which will project the pure self. A pure brain is an emotional baggage free brain. Thus wisdom education is brain therapy that cleans the brain of all emotional baggage.
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        Gail .

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        Jan 9 2013: We take different routes to the same end, but we do arrive at the same end. (I don't relive in God - unless God is "being" as opposed to "a" being).

        But we do get to the same end.

        Nice to know another wise person
        • Jan 9 2013: The more science figures out the mysteries of life the more evident it will become that the Word of God is what is telling us the mystery of life in the first place. Science is looking for answers that are already there in the Bible. My focus is trying to uncover wisdom. I have now over 1500 articles, blogs, papers and press releases on it. I am looking for partners like yourself. I have inventions, trademarks, and plans how to make the world wise on a mass scale. If you google, '4th r foundation' you can access my work.

          Indeed we get to the same place. Science wants to understand the reality and religion is trying to tell us the truth. They both want to make life happy, healthy and successful.

          Take wisdom, which is the equally essential half of human intelligence. Religion has an edge on wisdom but science ignores the religious knowledge on wisdom and is pursuing emotional intelligence; which is none other than wisdom at the super mature stage!
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        Gail .

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        Jan 9 2013: I would also add that rather than asking self "who am I", it might be more effective to ask "what am I"
        • Jan 9 2013: Asking questions from every possible angle is the right way. What am I is very important.

          Science is working on solving the question, 'How the mind works'. I turned the question around to, 'Why the mind works the way it does?' I ended up with a US patented theory that explains the cause of human nature and has huge practical applications in philosophy,education and the mind sciences like life coaching, and various mind therapies!
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        Gail .

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        Jan 10 2013: I read some of your press releases. Well-written, but I disagree with essential parts. I think that your explanation makes it all too mystical. You essentially say that selfishness is the absence of wisdom, but I disagree. SELF-ishness (self-awareness) brings and end to ego and a beginning of a new way of life where we are powerful creatures who need fear nothing and manifest that which we want. Selfishness, on the other hand, empowers ego.

        Selflessness is a meaningless word in the context in which I speak. It is not an act of selflessness to give up one's life on behalf of another, if one is self-aware. A SELF-ish person would simply manifest an alternative reality where the sacrifice was meaningless so it never happens. This is evidence of lack of ego. A belief in one's powerlessness is evidence of an ego in charge.

        I could use Jesus' teachings to make my point, but I would have to go to the pre KJV texts to do so fully. Most people have never learned about them, and because they are so fundamentally different from current gospel texts, they are rejected by current christians.

        Better than use a verifiably flawed source (Bible), there should be some experimental evidence to support the claims. I suggest proving the incredible POWER of the individual rather than the low EQ might be more effective.

        Those who have discovered what you are touching on are not believers in "God". MANY are ex-christians. Perhaps most - I don't know. I just know that the ability to use one's power comes with either giving up on god or redefining the god-concept so that it is no longer a personality.

        Use the word God and people will hear what they want to hear. There is no way around that. That's how communication works. It can work no other way.
        • Jan 10 2013: Please review the following: (please google)
          Press Release - 4th R Foundation: Why is Wisdom Selflessness?

          Selflessness does not mean powerlessness. It projects an authentic pure power that cannot be explained in words. It is a kind of supreme confidence with an innate awareness of being a part of the whole like a drop in and part of the ocean of consciousness. It is not even ego-less it is just a pure consciousness without any conscious identity.

          The Bible is not flawed; it is just not understood correctly. You cannot blame the Bible for it's wrong interpretation. The power comes from correctly understanding God.
  • Jan 7 2013: Good points guys, and as Pat just slightly alluded to - the laws of physics aren't going to be changed anytime soon. I've been enjoying Francis Fukayama's book on the origin of the political order. His book and other history books warn us about such things. I wonder if TED has ever had him give a talk - if not maybe it will.
    • Jan 7 2013: I wish the laws of education do change. Human intelligence is a compound of intelligence and emotional intelligence. We keep tweaking intelligence education while not only neglecting emotional intelligence education we actually make the emotional baggage worse for those students that come to the classroom with emotional baggage, we brand them as failures. Instead we need to train teachers to detect the emotional baggage in students and start to address it. In fact we should take the so called normal students and make them super normal through wisdom/emotional intelligence education.