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Is it always possible to be honest and polite at the same time?
One could argue that honesty and politeness are mutually exclusive in certain circumstances, especially when you are pressed to share your opinion on a particular subject/person. We all know that sometimes the truth hurts (or at least, "your truth").
Some people may think that the only way to get along with everybody is by not being completely honest (or by downright lying) and compliment them, as this way they would then think highly of you.
It's also curious that we tend to like the people we agree with more than the ones we disagree with. Certainly, It's really difficult to make friends with somebody who disagrees with you on almost every matter (even if on trivialities), which is a shame, as this person could be a potential friend full of love, generosity and good advice.
Are we living in a fake society where honest people are being penalized for sharing his true feelings/opinions?
Where is the line between honesty and rudeness? Is it fair to be untrue to your feelings for the sake of good manners? Are there some truths that should never be told?
What do you think?
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Mark Meijer 100+
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lkbWIfP3mLw
Luis Javier Salvador 30+
Mark Meijer 100+
But what does that matter, if the attempt to conform to anyone's ideals can only make me a lie? What's the point if I can't be simply the way I am, if I can't trust that? I can play "a good person" in someone's eyes, and if it's not being true to myself in that moment then how good a person am I really? It's meaningless either way. That's what he means that it doesn't necessarily make you a good person. It's simply not about that at all.
Luis Javier Salvador 30+
I also concur that "a good person" means something different for different people. Therefore, you can lie to people (if that's your nature), be true to yourself and still be a good person in YOUR eyes (and also in anybody else's).
Some people may have very good reasons to lie and may be proud of that.
Mark Meijer 100+
In fact what he found out was that it wasn't his own racism. He didn't really believe it, and yet he noticed that he was being a hypocrite about it. Because he had simply accepted what he had learned at face value, as we all tend to do, and that is what shaped his habitual subconscious responses. Which can only survive when they aren't acknowledged.
That's where vanity comes in. Vanity is what would have prevented the speaker from being true to himself, from becoming conscious of his own hypocrisy. Because vanity is fear and denial. Same thing with pride. Where did you learn it? Is your own pride really yours? Don't deny that it arises, if and when it arises. Just don't believe it, don't accept it at face value, IF you value honesty.
Being true to yourself is not the same as being self-centered. Despite both seeming to be about "yourself" at first glance. But that's only in the figure of speech. Authenticity is not about being taken in by ego. Ego can not survive honesty, because everything about it is false. Believing it, accepting it at face value, is not honesty.
Luis Javier Salvador 30+
In my view, you can lie to people and, at the same time, be true to yourself, as long as that's your philosophy of life. Of course, you wouldn't consider yourself an honest person in a literal sense, but would feel much better about yourself, as you were true to what you believed in.
It's not about denying your lies but accepting them for a greater good (if that's the case).
Mark Meijer 100+