- Melissa Ganus
- San Diego, CA
- United States
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What are your New Year's resolutions?
Last year, Sajeesh Ragavan posted this question at http://www.ted.com/profiles/933068
http://www.ted.com/conversations/8166/what_s_your_new_year_s_resolut.html.
Now, having made it through the 21st of December, 2012, it seems like exactly the right time to post it again!
I've been inspired by Dr Mike Evans short video about how much more successful New Year's resolutions tend to be compared with making resolutions at other times of year. Just posted a TEDed and would welcome your thoughts and feedback: http://ed.ted.com/on/cu5IwKY6
Happy New Year!!!
Tom Anderson
Mark Garnham
Marilyn Ross
Melissa Ganus
Ariel Sanchez
1. Learn to be content with what I have in my life (people, things, everything).
2. Listen to my heart more often instead of my negative thoughts.
3. Give more of my time and my soul to everything and everyone around me....Become open
4. Enjoy the ride of life instead of focusing on the end result.
5. Make time to reach out with those who are in need.
These are my goals for now... Wish my luck!
Melissa Ganus
carolyn mcauley 10+
gwer fly
Justin Hardesty
Mark D. Holloman
Conor Corrigan
Satya Mamidi
Peace!!
Thunder Tang
John Moonstroller 20+
David Fuchs
http://cleantechnica.com/2012/12/29/using-thermodynamics-100-year-old-technology-to-break-the-20-per-mwh-barrier/
Omar Wani
Gavin J
Melissa Ganus
The ability to see things from other perspectives is sooooo powerful! A pity we aren't born with it and that so many people don't even know how to very well. How old do you think you were when this became important to you?
Gavin J
Melissa Ganus
Colleen Steen 500+
Being able to really listen, hear and understand others more is a wonderful practice, and accepting that we can be "wrong" at times facilitates good communications with ourselves and others:>)
Melissa,
You mention the idea of "getting students to imagine themselves in the roles of the people they're studying, making decisions in those different contexts and challenges", and that is another great step....compassion and empathy. When we can practice this, often times we do not need to use the "wrong" label. We are all different, with many different perspectives, perceptions, thoughts, feelings, ideas and beliefs. Often, we do not know the challenges a person is facing, and if WE can sometimes get beyond the "right" and "wrong" labels, we can understand people on another level? What do you think?
Linda Taylor 50+
I know I can achieve this and I know that I am learning as a result. Win-win.
Melissa Ganus
I've often tried to remember "If you aren't having fun, at least you're probably learning something!"
Colleen Steen 500+
So, if something is "productive", is it a "failure"?
Melissa Ganus
http://www.indiegogo.com/QoL-experiments/x/84491?c=activity
Colleen Steen 500+
I understand what you mean by "productive failure",and it is a great way to reframe an effort that may not have worked out as planned. I believe that life is an exploration...an opportunity to learn, grow and evolve in every moment. So, I don't generally label anything a "failure"....even a "productive failure"...LOL. For me, everything is about learning and moving on to the next step of growth for ourselves and the whole:>)
John Moonstroller 20+
Jonathan Gronli
Sajid Khan
The Time Has Come to Open and Become Your Third Eye.
Living Fully Aware as the Pure Self is the Key to an Emotionally Healthy Life and Pure Happiness.
Putting the emotional personality under the microscope from a third person's point of view is a fundamental technique of self improvement through self analysis. One must learn to identify with the so called third person as the person's own pure self. After all this assumed third person is none other than your very own self.
Thus the third person no longer is just an imaginary made up person viewing the emotionally challenged personality; it is the very real person himself who is doing the self analysis. Learn to identify with your true self and then with your true self observe your true self observing your true self. Observe and figure out why your true self is not free. Why you have fear, sleeplessness, anger, jealousy, greed etc. In short figure out what kind of emotionally challenged personality/self you have and what are the reasons stopping you from having an emotionally healthy self.
It is the mind that is better adjusted to the current reality and is prepared say to give a speech; it is the brain that projects the childhood era nervousness. Facing the audience the mind is worried about embarrassing ones self by getting nervous, while the brain is generating the nervousness. The mind has access to the current reality through the five senses. It is the brain that is addicted to your frozen past self image. This past self image is generated by the emotionally challenged brain that is caused by the emotional baggage in the brain.
The emotional baggage is the past emotional hurts and pains that are buried memory 'slaps' to the pure self. These slaps keep occurring again and again in the unconscious brain like a broken record. Once these unconscious hurts are brought to the surface they become conscious and so
kim kyeongmin
Rafi Amin 20+
Juliette Zahn 50+
Don Anderson 20+
But this year instead of proclaiming my resolutions, I will keep them to myself until I do finish accomplishing them.
With that said in 2012 I did join the TED community, made noteworthy improvements to my old 1900 farm house and hard/landscaping, and did start and made major progress of finding out about my ancestry. You know looking back at my accomplishment of last year I do feel more resolved to do more this year, than I think I would have felt by just proclaiming my goals for this year.
P.S. Data mining for ancestry is great mental exercise, for me personally finding no slave owners, union army war veterans, US revolutionary war US army veterans and Viking DNA make having a grandfather that was married 7 times less of a factor.
Happy New Year everyone!
Melissa Ganus
For example, my self discipline is highest in the AM, so I'm psyched about getting up and into the living room for a workout first thing, before the busyness of the day makes working out a lower priority. My partner is starting to workout, too, but has a different routine for his first few minutes in the AM, so we've agreed that I'll do my workout then leave the Xbox/Kinect on for him. That way I don't need to nag - it's up to him whether he works out or just turns it off.
Developing better flossing habits is another example of how I'm tricking myself to follow through on my intentions, riffing on the psychology concepts of priming (ref Nudge by Thaler & Sunstein). By leaving the floss out on the bathroom counter, I've got a better visual prime than if I keep it in the cabinet. The main objective I have with the primes is to get myself to be more mindful when those decision points come up - I see the floss and I ask myself the question: "so, are you gonna floss today?" The answer isn't a consistent "yes!" yet, so I keep asking. Just being mindful at "choice points" has been making it a lot easier to divert from my autopilot habits more regularly. And I know 100% is hard to maintain, so I try to start each day with intentions to try again, whether I succeeded or not the day before.
This "learning new habits" is the kind of stuff I love to teach, so any of your favorite examples could be great for sharing with my students. Thanks!
Ghina Zand Alhadid
I read about Carl Rogers theory of client/person-centered therapy (1951), which has evolved to become a branch of psychology, positive psychology. As you know, this theory states that we are born with an intrinsic self actualizing ability. It believes in the good nature of humans. The main aim of our actions is to actualize ourselves.
When you observe our *bad* habits you don't see evilness or the lust to destroy ourselves. They start as acts to lower our anxiety, lessen the stress, and make life a bit easier for us. We start them without thinking, emerging from the hopelessness and frustration. Hoping they would work. Some work momentarily, but as soon as we get back to our former state, our poor minds/ consciousnesses/ selves remember the last thing that has worked and do it again and again and again. I don't even know if this is scientifically valid, but I know that this has helped me make peace with myself. I have no bad habits. I only have good habits done wrongly.
Same thing apply to not sticking to the good habits. That needs energy, and we are doing just fine without this extra energy. Maybe that's what laziness is about. So once again, I could make peace with my laziness lol
Started to show myself that there is nothing wrong with wanting to do nothing, and with lowering my anxiety. And that its not a matter of what I SHOULD or SHOULDN'T do. I am here to do the best for myself, because I love myself.
So it became a matter of what I WANT to do because I'd LOVE to.
And after exerting ANY amount of work, I get myself a cookie lol or go to the beach for a walk or do anything I want to do. Never went hard on myself. I am not living to punish myself. if I don't do it, I don't, but if i do, I will just make myself happier!
Ghina Zand Alhadid
But I still set goals and write them down. Just to be on the safe side it seems? :P
My ultimate goal for the next year is to become a stronger person. Someone with love, happiness, fearlessness and determination. Planning to accomplish that by pouring my heart into my work and education and just do the best work one can do. Want to add more things to my CV as well.
Lena Gorska 200+
Going anywhere and everywhere… Pour les uns qui voyagent, les étoiles sont des guides.
Ghina Zand Alhadid
Mushfira Shaffe
Dinko Svetic 500+
I would consider my wish fulfilled if just one person told me that I've helped them take the first step.
Ghina Zand Alhadid
But I wonder if ur goal here is to be a role model or to be good for the sake of goodness. Because I know that people would follow those who help and give for nothing in turn, not even fame, rather than following someone who wants to be followed. What do you think? Hope I could speak up my mind clearly!
Dinko Svetic 500+
But, why not be both? Good for the sake of goodness and a role model? Actually, when someone is good just for the sake of goodness then that person will eventually become someones role model. I think that you can't choose to be a role model, you become one when someone notices what you are doing and when they start doing it too. You don't make yourself a role model, others do. :)
Colleen Steen 500+
I think what Ghina speaks of, is unconditional love....or unconditional giving?
I agree Dinko, that we can be good role models, AND give for the sake of giving, without expectations. I also agree that we become role models by "being"....walking our talk:>)
Melissa Ganus
The coolest thing about this perspective? When people can see how helping others feels good, they are more likely to do it more often. I've worked a lot with volunteers and recruiting - I bet most of you here on TED have - that "feel good" piece seems to work for a lot of people.
On being a good role model, walking the talk & practicing what we preach, I'm among the big group of educators out telling students what they should do without being consistent about doing it myself. I think that's hard for most of us - our planning brain is not always well supported by our doing brain. But acknowledging that gap goes a long way... and, for me, makes it a little easier to forgive myself for not being anywhere close to perfect. ;-)
Colleen Steen 500+
I know it is possible. I do not question at all whether we may get "high" from doing something to help others. We can, however, experience that "high" without expectation....can we not? Well, in my humble perception and experience...we can:>)
To say that it is not "humanly possible" is a self imposed limitation.
I agree that helping others and doing good things can be contagious, and often become a model.
I don't think "walking our talk" means being "perfect". To me, it means being consistant with saying what I do...doing what I say...."being" and "doing" to the best of my ability. I've been told most of my life that I "walk the talk", and that feels FABULOUS!!! Most of the people who tell me that, KNOW I am FAR FROM PERFECT!!! LOL:>)
Arkady Grudzinsky 50+
http://www.ted.com/talks/drew_dudley_everyday_leadership.html
Re: "I think that you can't choose to be a role model, you become one when someone notices what you are doing and when they start doing it too. You don't make yourself a role model, others do. :)"
I totally agree. It's hard to become a role model on purpose of becoming a role model. Perhaps, the best way to inspire others is to be yourself and follow your own passion. The scene of Forrest Gump running across America "for no particular reason" also comes to mind...
Melissa Ganus
I've also just forwarded it with a note of big gratitude to one of the people who gave me a lollipop moment years ago and probably doesn't remember it.
Dinko Svetic 500+
Colleen Steen 500+
You say..."I would consider my wish fulfilled if just one person told me that I've helped them take the first step."
What if you did not get that feedback....do you think you would feel less fulfilled? Is the fulfillment from the "doing" or "being", or is the fulfillment from the feedback?
Dinko Svetic 500+
Colleen Steen 500+
Melissa Ganus
Feedback is such an interesting piece of our lives! So valuable and yet so often difficult to get. When I post something I've been working on to Facebook or the like, I often get discouraged by a lack of response, wondering if I'm wasting my time and effort (mostly volunteered). Or by the critiques without praise. Somehow my wiring/upbringing leaves me craving the social approval of others far more than I'd like.
I've been a fan of TED for years, sharing videos with students and anyone else I manage to connect with. Last June, I wrote my first TEDed to learn about the new platform.
http://ed.ted.com/on/SiuG5bgI
I didn't think about it much until about a month ago when I discovered the lesson had become one of the TEDed Best Flips (more than 50k views, 100 flips and almost 200 responses from people I don't know). That was has been very gratifying.
But having started this, my first TED conversation, and seeing everyone's thoughtful comments and interactions is what is really lighting me up now. Thank you enormously.
Colleen Steen 500+
Feedback in the form of criticism does not seem difficult to get! It benefits all of us to give positive, encouraging, supportive feedback as well....when possible and appropriate. I believe that what we focus on expands, so offering positive feedback helps create a foundation which we can build on to help create a better world?
When I started commenting on TED 3 years ago, I was accused of being too "sugary" and told that "no one can possibly be that positive"....bla....bla....bla!!! I don't give up easily either Dinko:>)
Dinko Svetic 500+
Positive feedback is important and it can help in many ways, just as you said, Colleen, even to help create a better world, but if it stops at just words then it doesn't have a long lasting effect. Putting words into practice is what makes the world better. I guess that people don't have enough of free time to invest in walking the talk... But there must be a way to overcome this obstacle...
I also believe that everyone should get some negative feedback from time to time, just to keep you realistic about your achievements.
Colleen Steen 500+
With that in mind and heart, the words we use with ourselves and with others are very important and in my perception, can mold our world.
Time is a human construct, and saying we don't have enough time may be an excuse sometimes? I MAKE time for the things that are important to me in the life adventure:>)
Feedback is simply feedback...depends on how we use the information that may be the imiportant piece?
Ghina Zand Alhadid
And the negative feedback seems to be a must indeed. Sometimes our egos might fool us.
Elizabeth Gu 30+
I thought doing my job cleverly or having good relationships with others would be the very part of being wise.
Sometimes I would regard giving up what I want to pursue as some sort of wise thing to do.
Then there was a wake-up call.
"I am not passionate enough to pursue my dreams."
As time goes by, I will get older and older. Being an adult isn't cool, but while I'm not only physically young, but also mentally(so to speak) young, I want to know, I want to feel what is like to fall in love with what I'm doing.
I aspire to be an enthusiast so that there'd be no regrets of wasting my time while I'm young.
Some might say, making New Year's resolutions stuff would be a cliché, but depending on how we interpret and apply this thing, it still can be a creative way of living our lives and encouraging ourselves, don't you think?
Good question!
Happy New Year, btw :)
Liz
Colleen Steen 500+
You say..."being an adult isn't cool"....how about being an adult who still faces life with the curiosity and unconditional love of a child? That feels "cool" to me:>)
You are very wise, introspective, and insightful Liz, and I appreciate you very much:>)
May the New Year bring peace and love to your heart:>)
Colleen
Elizabeth Gu 30+
Long time no see, Colleen!
Yeah, it's been a while lol
Btw, did you receive my emails? Ah, what's wrong with our email services, right? lol
I should make a new account on the other website so that I can make a new email address.
Anyway,
that's very sweet of you, thanks :)
I appreciate you too.
Happy New Year! And I wish you all the best!
Liz
Colleen Steen 500+
I did not get any e-mails recently, and I replied to all the ones you sent awhile ago.
I like your new profile photo:>)
Arkady Grudzinsky 50+
"Do not think you will necessarily be aware of your own enlightenment." -- Dogen
"The fool doth think he is wise, but the wise man knows himself to be a fool." -- Shakespeare
Colleen Steen 500+