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Founder, The Mindfood Chef

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...A child finds the definition of relations from the relations between parents, of parents with them and in between their siblings...

The relations satisfies many psychological needs, but when parents unable to carry together for long, how does it impacts the life of the child?

After some time parents felt like they have decided wrongly to choose the partner. Why should the child be punished for their mistake?

How could a parent takes the responsibility of the same?


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    Dec 8 2012: Your worldview is very different from mine, but I will try to answer from my point of view.

    I believe that children come into the world, having chosen their parents and the general circumstances that will surround their lives. From this point, they learn.

    Is a child really being punished when parents separate? I doubt that you will find a parent who will admit to separating in order to punish the child. Still, the child feels great pain and that great pain feels punishing. Yet, if you have come into the world, having chosen your parents and the general circumstances of your life, and your parents separate, it is not their responsibility to protect you from your natural feelings of loss. It is yours to learn how to deal with them and make peace with them (which is possible).

    A very young child will not feel the pain that a teen will experience at a parent's separation. This means that the teen's expectations have been breached. That is VERY painful. But the fix is not to demand that your expectations be fulfilled (an immature way to handle such a situation). The fix is to change your expectations to ones that are happier, less harmful to self, and more satisfying.
    • Dec 8 2012: We both are looking at one thing from different angle as you have started with and I accept it as it is, as image from your side.

      Yes, the separation of parents is refusing the right of a family from a child. Nobody separates to punish is true, equally true is the separation in itself is a punishment.

      The lack of family added to the drug addiction and crime; and being proved in many social and psychological surveys and treatments. In many cases the solution came from a hidden pain during the age of five to nine.

      The sexual relation between the two people results in a birth and so as they must be responsible for the same, the decision is of those two. Even other living beings except few takes this responsibility till they find them strong to survive on their own.

      Relations are one of the prime needs of a human as a social being and their importance can't be denied. This is not be considered as expectations but a way society evolves.

      The meaning and values of society may be differ in between your world and mine.

      Firm on my point, I take your view as your view to complete my 360degree understanding of the things.

      Thank you very much.

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