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Arkady Grudzinsky

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Should we feel gratitude for our life? To whom?

Gratitude is important feeling in interpersonal relationships. Gratitude encourages giving and giving encourages more gratitude, etc. On the other side, lack of gratitude comes with a sense of "entitlement" - they mutually create each other as well. Lack of gratitude discourages giving and creates a sense that the world "owes us" a living. "We are programmed to receive." Gratitude, in my opinion, offers an exit from that proverbial Hotel California and "programs us to give".

How about our life and other things shown in this video? Religious people usually thank God for these things. The camera shows a standing round of applause at the end of the video. I very much doubt that most people attending TED talks are religious, so the video must have stirred some emotion in believers and non-believers alike.

Do non-believers feel gratitude for these things? If yes, to whom?

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  • Dec 23 2012: Gratitude? Will any mother will have it after death of her son? Will any businessman will have after going bankrupt? There are numerous such situations when we can't expect people to have gratitude.

    When good things happen the ones who believe in God, are grateful to God. But what about an atheist? He will be happy within himself.

    When things go bad the atheist will blame situations, surrounding, people or any other possible thing. God believers will pray or will go at holy places.

    For me gratitude is being thankful to whatever good happened. And you should be grateful to those who made good things happen for you, no matter, if its God or human.
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    Dec 23 2012: I don't agree that you have to come from a safe or luxurious place, it could be quite the opposite. I think there are plenty of examples where people are grateful because they feel loved or are in loving environments or experience kindness, has nothing to do with social status......
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      Dec 23 2012: I wholeheartedly agree Elly.....gratitude has nothing to do with social status. It is a feeling that we choose to have....or not....it is a choice:>)
  • Dec 23 2012: Gratitude is for the rich, I doubt if you were born in a wartorn country or a family that got killed by the army you'd feel 'gratitude' towards god or the universe/etc.

    I would venture to say that most who feel gratitude is doing so from a safe/luxurious position in history.
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      Dec 23 2012: Not necessarily. I agree with Prakar Jeevan below that gratitude is a character, not a feeling. Everybody has things to complain about. Of two people in the same situation, one may feel victimized, the other one may feel blessed.
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        Dec 23 2012: I believe gratitude is a feeling, an attitude, a characteristic, personality trait, and a choice with each and every one of us in any given moment. I am not wealthy financially. I AM however, rich with gratitude. I have faced challenges in the life adventure, which continue to contribute to the feeling of gratitute I have in my heart. Sometimes directed toward someone special for his/her contribution to my feeling of gratitude....sometimes simply something I feel in myself. It has a LOT to do with our perception of the world, the life adventure, and those who contribute to our life experience. Mostly, it is a choice we make for ourselves in each moment.....or not:>)
  • Joe Yam

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    Dec 23 2012: Rivers, ponds, lakes, plants, man and animals - they all have different names, but they all contain water. Need water. Just as humans do - they all contain truths. FEEL GRATITUDE.
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    Dec 17 2012: Gratitude depends on each individual. What we direct our gratitude towards, in a realistic sense, is exactly the same. What we visualize it as is completely different. Some people are grateful to their God/Gods, some show gratitude towards energy and probability etc. Regardless of religion, it seems safe to say a good portion, if not all, forms of gratitude involves an outcome, probability. Whether it is "God" controlling probability or "mathematics" predicting it etc. I personally prefer a scientific representation, however, this is not the reality we all have gratitude towards, but representation is the key word. What exists and happens simply exists and happens as it is. The assumption one person is correct is as ridiculous as saying there is a superior language that can represent a tree in their language. Although some may be more true to the reality, it isn't the tree that is being described. To summarize, all people show gratitude towards probability and outcomes as well as those we represent controlling them.
  • Dec 17 2012: Should we? Life is about self-expression; if we think we know God then yes, but otherwise no. I think that there is a case for feeling gratitude; I feel it immensely. But towards what I can't think for an atheist; to thank randomness seem a bit pointless.

    To Whom?
    I don't call on atheists to start 'believing', just because they want someone to thank. The word 'belief' has become hijacked by religion to mean mindless acceptance of rules and certain facts. An atheist I would see as the opposite - a thinker.

    But you see I don't see the choice as between science and religion.
    I see the choice as between science-which-sees-God and science-which doesn't-see-Him YET.

    Since the Galileo incident science thinks it has been given free-reign to discover truth. In fact it is working blindly on the unwritten hypothesis that He isn't there, & all it produces comes with that hidden assumption. If we want the real truth from science (knowledge) we will have to wait until it can work without that assumption.

    Science/physics has many inadequacies which are not widely displayed and this is unfortunate since most thinkers grow to trust its wisdom and professed objectivity and are therefore denied real truth about existence. One day this will change, science will become truly objective, it will be humbled by its apparent previous ignorance.

    The thing is religion has got it wrong and so has science/physics!
    What we are ultimately talking about is whether the origins of everything are material, or whether they are spiritual. In other words did it all start with a big bang, or did it start with some primordial spiritual (consciousness) awakening somewhere in the nothingness and that consciousness then managed to work out how to make matter.

    You can be thankful to God or not, He won't mind, our origins are spiritual, we are all of that same oneness, our consciousness cannot be destroyed and I say this not from belief, but from scientifically obtained evidence, knowledge.
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    Dec 14 2012: I believe that Gratitude is more a human condition and precedes the concept of God and religion. I do not think that religions people are any more grateful than atheists. I believe that we begin learning and experiencing the need to be grateful towards our mother, parents, siblings and develop this idea much before we learn about faith and religion. But we quickly loose this concept of gratitude because often we are made to believe that we are entitled for what we get from our family for free, perhaps due to their love for us. Also as children our natural sense of gratitude is not nurtured and appreciated until it is too late and we begin giving attitude as teens. And as we grow older and learn about this entity called God we attribute all things that’s beyond our ability to create to God and hence express gratitude to this “creator”.
    Who should be we be grateful for life? Well, starting from the ones who gave birth to us, to everyone we share this planet with, and to the nature and perhaps the system or entity that created it all. Just like driving home from work at rush hour in crazy traffic. If one other driver chooses to be irresponsible, defy the rules and cause an accident, we can perhaps be stalled for a good few hours. We perhaps need to be grateful to all those who are courteous enough to adhere to the traffic rules. I guess the same applies to life.

    What if you gave someone a gift, and they neglected to thank you for it–would you be likely to give them another? Life is the same way. In order to attract more of the blessings that life has to offer, you must truly appreciate what you already have. — Ralph Marston
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      Dec 14 2012: I like the traffic analogy.
      I'm, definitely, thankful to people who are aware and take care of themselves and others. I also feel gratitude (or appreciation) for my ability to do so and I hope (or pray) that I will be able to do that in the future.

      I also try to avoid irritation or anger towards those unfortunate people who do cause accidents or even intentional harm to themselves and others. I rather feel sorry for these people. "We can't all, and some of us don't."
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    Dec 13 2012: First I feel Gratitude to my self to the human being I am
    After to all what I had-I have on this moment -and I will have
  • Dec 10 2012: There are other words than Gratefulness, Mindfulness, Contemplation and Appreciation can work. I appreciate that I am alive, I appreciate that evolution has brought humans to awareness we exist, that life in and of itself is quite wondrous. Meditation develops the region of the brain I mentioned in an earlier post. Awareness brings intelligence and sharing and compassion. Organic life avoids pain and seeks pleasure.
    Personally I have experienced pain in my life, I did not like it one bit and I know of no one who likes it so I am compassionate. If I were NOT alive I would not have experienced anything. So to me life is special.
  • Dec 10 2012: What is God? Simple! Not you nor I… why? We need a point of unity and conformity outside ourselves to act as a axiomatic symbol of defeat and an expression of need and a cry for help. This intuitive concept was unconsciously formed when humans were unable to cope with the complexities, hardships and the terrible heartbreak of the loss of loved ones. Neuroscience has identified a region of the brain that allows for a state of perspective outside of ourselves. This state can be so convincing that people in terrible catastrophes may experience what is called “The Third Person”. This is where someone mortally wounded in let us say a car accident, alone, on a highway near death is comforted by a person who does not exist. There are thousands and thousands of these accounts and through the miracle of modern medicine and a strong desire to live these people survived. Upon asking about the compassionate person who was with them in their moment of need paramedics replied that there was no one present when they arrived. Yet this compassionate person even interacted with the Paramedics. This region of the mind allows us to get outside ourselves, often people refer to a paradigm shift in their concept of life and who they are because they were able to use this region of the brain to accept painful truths about themselves and their hurtful behaviour to others… to be continued.
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    Dec 9 2012: A sense of awe, wonder and gratitude for nature does not have to be attributed to God.

    I may be over-analyzing something that should really be left alone to bask in its own glory for us to contemplate, but my own gratitude stems from the notion that such spiritual feelings are primeval psychological imperatives which have evolved in us over thousands of years, and what connects us with nature.

    It is the connection with nature that has gone missing in modern life, and Louie Schwartzberg's amazing images remind us that those connections are still there for us to make, if only we let them - and maybe why those images stir up similar feelings in both atheists and believers in God.
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    Dec 9 2012: Being grateful to God for life on earth is an interesting notion that is all tied up with your definition of God. Is god is a male figure that manipulates daily events on this little planet or is god the force that triggered the big bang? Being grateful to the former for life is akin to a child being grateful to Santa for the Christmas presents. Being grateful to the latter recognizes that god permeates everything and for me, results in ubiquitous gratitude.
  • Dec 9 2012: Gratitude is of course a natural human emotion (it's not clear to me that animals are capable of it).

    But saying that it's natural to feel gratitude for our lives does not explain away the spiritual element at work. Rather, it focuses on it.

    So let's address the question -- to whom do we feel the gratitude?

    One facile answer is, to our parents. But that really just begs the question. The question is, to whom should we, and them, and all the rest of us, feel gratitude?

    For me, the answer is, God. It was God that created the universe. If not God, then whom? Scientist agree that the universe came into existence 14 billion years ago in a manner that is truly Godlike -- everything was created in an instant out of nothing.

    And so it is God to whom we owe it all.
    • Dec 10 2012: How do you say that the universe exist? I will say that the universe does not exist

      ==you say==
      Scientist agree that the universe came into existence 14 billion years ago in a manner that is truly Godlike
      =====
      Define Godlike
      What is the process behind godlike

      Also, Gratitude is not a human emotion, Dogs are more grateful to their masters than his maid will be.
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        Dec 10 2012: When we define "godlike" and the process behind "godlike" it stops being "godlike". As we reveal a mystery, it stops being a mystery, doesn't it?
        • Dec 11 2012: Exactly, Also, If scientists (Humans) say something as " trully godlike" , then its not godlike, it should be humanlike.
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    Dec 8 2012: After many years of contemplating this question I have concluded that first and foremost I feel gratitude to all those living organisms that have mastered photo synthesis. Without them my life would be impossible. Second I feel gratitude for those who have come before me that have recognized their responsibility to future generations. "If I can see beyond horizons, it is only because I have the good fortune to stand on the shoulder of giants." In my life I strive to be one of those little "giants" who lift the capacity and awareness of future generations. It's a simple case of paying it forward.
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    Dec 8 2012: @Arkady
    Glass was just a metaphor. I agree that empty side is a potential. Every empty side in someones life can be useful and instructive, if you try to work on it. And if someone don't have that kind of point of view, I think nothing can make that person happy. In my humble opinion glass can make me happy if I think about it. It contains art, it is there for a purpose and it is liquid, transparent form of sand. You can hold something liquid as if it is solid..This is very interesting, and adds meaning to life and makes me feel gratitude for its existence. What if there were no glass in the world? Maybe you would say, there would be something else... It might be :)
    But maybe we should think about the deffinition of happiness first...
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    Dec 8 2012: Thank your mum
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      Dec 8 2012: I've addressed this somewhere below. I'm thankful to my mom for giving birth to me and caring for me, but not for the life itself. I cannot thank my mom for existence of life on earth and for her ability to bear children. No human can take credit for what our bodies can do - including reproduction.

      Besides, "life" in my question is only a particular example of the abstract beauty of this world for which it is unclear who to thank for - sunshine, stars, flowers, etc. Nobody's mom is to thank for that.

      Anyway, it becomes clear to me that it is unnecessary to have an object of gratitude. It's possible to experience an abstract gratitude, not directed at anyone in particular. Interesting conclusion.
      • Dec 8 2012: That "life" you speak of, can be a tough row to hoe. Everybody, and everything are very often tested (or proved) by adversity. Who is there with you to help you get through your own trials and tribulations? Those are whom you could show gatitude toward.

        Sure, flowers and sunshine are nice thoughts, but they are of little help when you are drowning in sickness, disease, and injury or other hardships. And you can't bow yourself in gratitude to a tree and be taken seriously. Again, it is those people around you that can help or hinder your path through life. When you are helped, you feel good, and when you are hindered, you don't feel as good, correct?

        Therefore, to show your gratitude in living a fulfilling life, you should help your neighbors, so that they can also share in the good feelings. Of course help your friends when you are able, but also help complete strangers, when you can see what is needed. Live your life as if you believe the adage; What goes around comes around, and try to stretch beyond that; in that you are often helping (when you can - giving, supporting, complimenting, etc. to include all forms of assistance) with no expectations of receiving some reward. When the act of helping others is reward enough, you will have found satiation for your gratitude.
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          Dec 8 2012: This is well said. Another example of biblical values said in a completely secular way.

          Re: "Again, it is those people around you that can help or hinder your path through life. When you are helped, you feel good, and when you are hindered, you don't feel as good, correct?"

          Often, we feel helped or hindered just by circumstances, with no active agents involved. Also, materialistically speaking, there is no free will. People say and do stuff reacting to external stimuli using memories and preconditions of the past, pretty much like sophisticated biochemical machines. People often help or hinder others without even being aware of it.

          I have hard time fitting gratitude into a purely materialistic and rational worldview.
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        Dec 14 2012: I understand your point.

        I may share similar awe at the universe and our human existence and experience.

        I guess I don't see any agency to direct thanks to.

        I'm with those who share abstract awe and appreciation of my existence etc.
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          Dec 20 2012: Hi Obey,
          I don't need an agency to direct thanks to, although, I certainly recognize all the "agents" in my life experience who have contributed to my gratitude:>)
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        Dec 20 2012: Obey, Arkady and Larry,
        I'm thankful for your mom giving birth to you guys as well:>)

        I disagree Arkady that..."No human can take credit for what our bodies can do - including reproduction." I'm a mom, and I gratefully accept all the credit and gratitude that comes my way:>)

        You also say..."Besides, "life" in my question is only a particular example of the abstract beauty of this world for which it is unclear who to thank for - sunshine, stars, flowers, etc. Nobody's mom is to thank for that."

        Well, I disagree again:>) My mom taught me how to love and be grateful for everything, including sunshine, stars, flowers, etc. If she had not encouraged love of all living things, acceptance and love of the life experience, I may not have noticed the beauty all around me in every single moment. So, in a round about way (another cycle Arkady!!!) my mom gave me the gifts as well:>)
  • Dec 7 2012: I do not think you can intelligently reduce experience of the world to two subjective perspectives, as if any statement about your experience is simply a ''choice" between half-full and half empty glasses and there are no objectively assessable criteria of value.

    If you do so, then you enter a Panglossian fantasy, becoming blind to actual reality.
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      Dec 8 2012: Actually, you are right. Perhaps, it's better to withhold any judgment of events, circumstances, and people - abstain from evaluating things as "good" or "bad". It allows to see things as they are. Such judgments make us unhappy. I think, it's not a coincidence that the tree from which Adam and Eve ate before they were cast out of the garden of Eden was called "the tree of knowledge of good and evil".

      Perhaps, we can classify our experiences as "pleasant" or "unpleasant". It does not mean that things and people causing unpleasant experiences are bad. Whatever we feel, it's nice to be able to feel it, isn't it?
  • Dec 7 2012: I think that sometimes religious people make the mistake of thinking that atheists lack all the of qualities that their religion teaches them. I've been an atheist since I was 12 and when I realized that religion wasn't real I didn't all of the sudden think, "great now I can stop trying to be good since there is no heaven or hell." I still have empathy towards others (we're all born with it) gratitude for anything that anyone did for me and I also feel the joy of giving. Helping others is in all of our nature and stems from empathy that we all have as infants (and before the religious indoctrination begins). Just because there is no fiery eternity sentenced out to wrong doers doesn't mean that doing wrong is desirable. Human's have evolved to cooperate and it's in our nature to be a good member of society.

    To whom do I feel gratitude for my life? To my parents of course, they gave it to me. Even if they were only doing what was in their nature to do. ;)
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      Dec 8 2012: I'm quite sure, one does not have to be religious or believe in god to have an idea of what's good and what's bad. These ideas come simply from our physical and social experience regardless of religion. I have been an atheist since I was born and I can confirm your experience. I was taught in a Soviet school that "religion is opium for the people" and did not give much thought to it till the Soviet Union collapsed and religion started to revive there as an antidote to the communist ideology. Just recently I wondered, what is religion all about? How does it work? Why do people do crazy things because of it? How do people resolve the cognitive dissonance between the everyday physical experience and religious beliefs in the miracles? Why would some people deeply hate religion while others feel deep reverence to people like the Pope or Dalai Lama? I have discovered many interesting things since I started asking myself these questions while trying out some religious practices.

      It is not my goal to promote religious views here. These debates go nowhere. I'm just deeply interested to understand what other people believe. For example, feeling gratitude for the beauty of nature makes no sense from the point of view of an atheist. Yet, many people who do not believe in a Creator do feel such gratitude or something similar to it. On the other side, I am also grateful to my parents for the sacrifices they made for me to help me grow up, but thank them for my life itself does not make sense to me. No human can take credit for what our bodies can do - including reproduction. Some parents do not even make a conscious decision to have children. Besides, if we thank parents for our life, we should also thank the rest of our ancestors up to the first living molecule that was able to reproduce itself. But who shall we thank for giving life to that molecule? It seems the best not to rationalize our irrational feelings.
      • Dec 8 2012: Actually, In ancient religions, people generally thank and worship their forefathers
        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pitru_Paksha

        The reason we thank is human life is valuable.

        There is a saying by an ancient saint avvaiyar http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avvaiyar
        Its rare to be born as human
        Its even rare to be born without any birth defects

        One need not thank their mom for existence of life on earth and for her ability to bear children. But One must thank and be grateful for their parents , because, they dint abort us or throw us in some orphanage.

        ============
        From your words:
        For example, feeling gratitude for the beauty of nature makes no sense from the point of view of an atheist
        ============
        In my opinion, We are nature and seeing nature separate from us is wrong in my opinion. People get pleasure on seeing a waterfall because of the excitement and the refreshing feel that it gives. But still, waterfall is nature and we are also nature. Maybe A bigger being might feel excited on seeing us.

        A creator is not needed to be grateful. To be grateful is a character and not a feeling. Feelings will come and go, but a character is like an imprint. For an example one can read the story of Karna (A glimpse http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Karna). Even when god is against them , a person with gratitude will never let down his friend or anyone who helped them.
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          Dec 9 2012: Re: "In my opinion, We are nature and seeing nature separate from us is wrong in my opinion."
          This is a good opinion. I like it.

          Re: "To be grateful is a character and not a feeling."
          This is an excellent point. This reminds me of this quote:

          “Watch your thoughts, for they become words.
          Watch your words, for they become actions.
          Watch your actions, for they become habits.
          Watch your habits, for they become character.
          Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny.”

          Being grateful is a habit, an attitude which is a part of character.
  • Dec 7 2012: As an atheist I feel no gratitude to god for being born nor should I. However, I feel immense gratitude to many people. My parents because contrary to popular opinion they don’t have to love you, but mine did. They taught me the virtues of living well and doing for other before yourselves. As a gay man, to all the people that came before me and fought for their rights and mine. To all my teachers that make crap pay but worked to ensure my success because they cared. To everyone that helped me along the way because no one can make it all on their own. I can't speak for all atheist but I'm thankful every time I see someone do a good deed because I don't attribute it to a magic being but to the goodness in all man. After reading some of the comments I do agree that gratitude can be used to oppress by those who are looking for it. That’s why I try to give mine to the people that get it the least; they probably weren't looking for it.
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      Dec 7 2012: Re: "I'm thankful every time I see someone do a good deed because I don't attribute it to a magic being but to the goodness in all man."

      The "magic being" is inside. "Goodness in all man" and "the magic being" appear to be the same thing to me :-)
  • Dec 6 2012: Gratitude is not a particularly pleasant emotion to experience- this is rather hilarioussly illustrated in the film Billy Liar- http://www.tcm.com/mediaroom/video/237392/Billy-Liar-Movie-Clip-Grateful-.html

    I don't want to wander about feeling grateful all the time, it wouldnt make me any happier, nor the world a better place. I'm content just getting on with my own business.And if I were Billy Liar, I hope I'd escape to London in the end of the film, instead of having been oppressed by "gratitude".
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      Dec 7 2012: T.Frank, thanks for the comment. Very interesting. You are the second person here who views feeling of "gratitude" as psychologically oppressive.

      I guess, it all depends on how we view gifts. Some gifts are given with grace, with no expectation of any return. Some "gifts" are given to buy future favors. Gratitude for the first kind is liberating and encouraging. Gratitude for the second kind is enslaving - nobody wants to feel indebted.

      Perhaps, how we view gifts from others depends on our experiences with giving.

      I see some connection here with how people view religion. To some, it is liberating, to some it's enslaving or is a tool to enslave others.
      • Dec 7 2012: The dificulty with discussing religion generally is that it includes so many different outlooks and values. Some religions are celebratory, others are austere, even condemnatory.

        I have a good deal to be greteful for- certainkly my life relative to that of the majority of the world's inhabitants is an extremely comfortable one.

        However , I cannot avoid feeling that the world we are in is cruel, and that or species is unusually unpleasant- quite shockingly capable of violence. This is sometimes gratuitous, at other times organise'; sometmes personally directed, at other times randomi or impersonal.

        Even if there is not direct violence, there is a constant low level power struggle between people, which makes society unpleasant. I try to escape into the idealised zones of art but that is, of course, merely escape.

        Ergo the feelings of gratitude I might have are muted.
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          Dec 7 2012: Two people may look at the same reality and see completely different things. I understand what you mean. Perhaps, for each thing to feel gratitude, there are hundred things to resent. I still think, gratitude is better for my health than resentment. But far be it from me to impose this opinion on others :-).
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          Dec 7 2012: If you condition your self to see the empty side of the glass, this will bring misery and silence to your mind. This would make you feel hopeless. Althoug many people don't like to talk about it, death is the only certain fact of life. Because it seem like the end (I don't think that it is the end, by the way.).
          If you think that all these violence, struggle and unpleasant situations may have a reason just for you(!) and individually for everyone else to understand something from it, than it may make you start to see the half full side of the glass. As there is so much struggle, there is so much passion, wisdom and love. Empty side lets you see the value of full side actually and gives you choice to engage that side. The question is, which side do you prefer to see?
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          Dec 8 2012: @Dolunay
          An empty glass is full of potential. A glass is a good and useful thing by itself. The glass does not have to contain anything for us to feel happy that we have it.
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    Dec 6 2012: It is a fact that human body is a very well organized organic machine to observe the outer world and turn the signals coming from everywhere into electrical information that brain can interpret. Inside of the skull is silent, dark and full of liquid. Like the computer, you can upload many landscape pictures as wallpaper but according to the computer they are 1 and 0!! It can never enjoy a cute cat picture or never desire a fresh strawberry after you upload that as wallpaper.
    It is the same for the brain. So, how could brain see the light in darkness or hear the sound in silent? According to science; brain gets the electrical signals, don’t hear sounds or see light. There is something beyond this flesh, more than the body, who can love, hate, feel passion, desire and all other emotions. So, this must be the soul or whatever you want to call it. And the soul feels the gratitude for the Creator.
  • Dec 6 2012: I feel thankful towards the people who don't put themselves but others in the first place, because that his how humanity funtions best - in my opinion to say the least.
    However this also means that I do not really feel any gratitude towards inorganic/non-sentient things, I don't know why that is, it just seems sort of in vain to mr
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    Dec 3 2012: Yes, to the universe or whatever you would like to call it.
  • Dec 3 2012: Well, it seems we are actually in full agreement on most points. I might just not be
    communicating that very well.

    I do believe that we are 'selfish', but I don't think that is bad in any way, especially if we
    consider ourselves part of a whole. Think of why we are here: nature/God has given
    us the sun which gives us energy which is how we are here existing today. So what
    is 'ours' to give in the first place when we have been given everything?

    *I'm not judging anyone, i don't believe in that. I'm judging actions that people commit, which
    I do believe in.
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      Dec 6 2012: I read all of your comments in this debate and I agree with most of what you say. You mention selfishness and it’s difficult for people to accept that there’s selfishness also in good deeds. Selfishness is an inherent part of the ego. If someone says he can act even for a moment, without being selfish, it means that for that specific moment he was absolutely without any ego and for me it’s very hard to accept as a true thing. Ego can be strong or weak, depending on the person or the situation, but it is always there, except maybe very, very rare people whom we call True Saints. But the Saints, if they are truly egoless, have no need to discuss their good deeds or their feeling of gratitude, to explain their deeds or feelings, to justify them, to theorize about them, or whatever, in contrast to what we are doing in this forum

      To make it easier to accept our selfishness (which occasionally makes us also to do good deeds) I suggest to replace it with the term “Ego’s NEED”. So it will like saying, we do even the good things as a result of our ego’s need. Need of what ?? A need to feel good that we helped somebody. A need to feel that we are not less good than others who make good things. Sometimes a need to relax our aching conscience. Sometimes a need to be appreciated for our good deeds. Sometimes with the believers in god, a need to obey god’s commands, or a fear of god’s punishment if they do not make good deeds.... and so on.

      I slightly disagree with you that ego is (only) the root of evil. True, ego is indeed the root of evil, but it’s only half picture. Because I think ego is also the root for feeling of gratitude and good deeds. As I wrote in my first comment hereby few days ago: It depends which outlook our consciousness (ego) develops. If our outlook is positive – inwardly & outwardly – the feeling of gratitude starts building inside us. The trick is not to avoid the ego, but to become aware of its nature, functioning and influence.
      • Dec 7 2012: Yea, I agree. Theoretically, the ego (the self-importance version, not the conscious/subconscious mediator) can and should be eliminated, but realistically that is not likely to happen...hence the reason gratitude is necessary.
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        Dec 7 2012: Re: " But the Saints, if they are truly egoless, have no need to discuss their good deeds or their feeling of gratitude, to explain their deeds or feelings, to justify them, to theorize about them, or whatever, in contrast to what we are doing in this forum."

        You just explained how I understand the Zen proverb "Those who tell don't know, and those who know don't tell." It is unfortunate, but the truly wise do not have the urge to show their wisdom. "A prudent man conceals knowledge." -- Proverbs.

        It seems to me that what people refer to by "pleasing ego", "pleasing consciousness", "pleasing self" (where "self" means something other than the physical body), and "pleasing god" are exactly the same things.

        Re: "True, ego is indeed the root of evil, but it’s only half picture. Because I think ego is also the root for feeling of gratitude and good deeds." -- Exactly. This is why the Bible is full of atrocities as well as most inspiring things.
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    Dec 3 2012: I am a non-believer. I feel gratitude towards the sun, without it I wouldn't be alive. This world wouldn't thrive without our sun. I feel gratitude towards people who have encouraged me throughout my life. You can still feel gratitude, just not towards a "god".
  • Dec 3 2012: To answer the original question:

    Do non-believers feel gratitude for these things? If yes, to whom?

    Everyone has a 'god' (a belief), whatever that may be, however its defined,
    and whatever it is named. Therefore there is no such thing as a non-believer.
    Everyone believes in something.

    I will not say anyone should feel gratitude at all. that is their choice. But i do think
    it behooves everyone to do so, and then of course to act on that feeling...


    Ex: If you believe in 'God', and believe that He gave you life, then you should 'feel'
    grateful to him for it.....and give it back to Him the best way you know how :) (acting on your
    gratitude)

    or

    Ex: If you believe in 'Science', etc., then you should feel grateful,, and give your life back in the
    best way you know how.

    Act on your gratitude:
    -take care of your parents,
    -help you children,
    -protect the environment

    or like Louis put it:

    We should feel gratitude to those that provide life for us.
    These people can be one's parents, teachers, etc.
    But at the end of the day, whether you call it God, Singularity, or Primal Existence, I think we all have a deep sense of gratitude to the source of life itself.