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Secetary General, Dems Club

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Debate: Do abstinence until marriage programs work?

Ok studies shown from the link below prove that the program is not only ineffective but unethical, and causes poor health.

Point One there was sex before there was marriage.

Second sex until marriage will not stop people from having martial issues or divorce. Ex a friend of mine has a step mom who took abstinence and got married she stayed with him for years and quit because she was really unhappy.

Third an final point is though research comparing Europian culture and ours it shows that forcing abstinence on our youth without actual sex education, not only pyschology damage and conflict with parents, but forces kids to learn about sex from their peers.

There's a documentary about it called "Let's talk About Sex."

Just type into goggle "let's talk about sex documentary" or look below

www.mediaproject.org/press-room/1811

http://www.advocatesforyouth.org/press-room/get-the-facts#abonly

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  • Nov 14 2012: "Debate: Do abstinence until marriage programs work?"

    No, people just have sex in secret before marriage (and spent the rest of their life feeling "dirty" because of it) or they get married early to someone they don't really love and become miserable as a result. Abstinence until marriage is unnatural and harmful to the human mind.

    Besides, it's steeped in religious dogma and therefore has no place in any government funded institution. Every tax penny used to promote abstinence until marriage programs hurts the kids in all sorts of ways and it pushes them back towards medieval mythology, maybe the money would be better spent teaching kids 21st century science so they can solve the world's problems, fulfill their potential and be happier.
  • Nov 13 2012: Not having sex before marriage is just asking for trouble.
    First of all, its important to know if all your various bits fit together well
    Compatibility is important to find out before its too late
    If you live in the snowy prairie its a great aerobic activity for the weekends.
    Its also better if you live together before marriage as well.
    Then you can discover if your underwear draped in the bathroom habits annoy your potential spouse or not.
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    Nov 17 2012: Abstinence until marriage programs are actually "abstinence until my parents are not looking or paying attention" programs. Sex education actually works where it is implemented correctly.
  • Nov 13 2012: Whenever any human is put under the thumb of another, they begin the struggle to break free.
    Humans have fought this fight since they learned they had opposable thumbs.

    Too many generations I personally know about, children left home not because they were looking forward to their life but they had to get away from the people who were making them crazy, i.e. their parents.
    Mental illness is now beginning at the age of 11 in America, possibly, lower now. Parents are causing it.
    Moral teaching has been more of an evil than anything else.
    Sex is not a moral issue.
    Sex, doesn't have a moral nature that is inherent, essential and intrinsic.
    The moral nature in life, is how we treat one another, not what the subject is!
    Yes, there are problems with many things in life and teaching and learning how to handle them is important, but there has been way too much false moral teaching done that is only akin to brainwashing and not for the good of anyone.
    Surgeon General Jocelyn Elders stated masturbation should be taught as natural and common, and used. She said, "we've tried ignorance for a 1,000 years, maybe we should try education." She also said she thought abstinence is itself a form of child abuse.
    She was forced from her job by the insane moral majority in America. George Bush, lied to u.s. all and went to war along with helping to destroy our economy and make us more hated around the world, and he wasn't fired!!!
    She told the truth. He lied. Tells you a lot about how Americans worship lies. Maybe, George should have masturbated first and we wouldn't be in this mess.

    There is nothing wrong with abstinence. There is nothing wrong with learning how to control oneself, urges, desires and so on. There is something wrong with brainwashing, teaching false, shameful morals and lying. Making a choice is not making the choice that someone else has embedded in you.
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    Gail . 50+

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    Nov 13 2012: In the USA, those states that outlaw sex ed in school, or require abstinence only sex-ed when sex-ed is taught, have the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country. Conversely, those states that mandate sex-ed in school have the lowest teen pregnancy rates.

    The states with the highest teen pregnancy rates refuse to learn from the states with the lowest teen pregnancy rates. It's a religious thing. It's also cruel and stupid.

    Hightest teen pregnancy rates (starting with highest)
    Mississippi
    New Mexico
    Arkansas
    Texas
    Oklahoma
    Louisiana
    Kentucky
    West Virginia
    Alabama
    Tennessee
    South Carolina
    Arizona
    Georgia

    All of the above states are RED (Republican) southern states. They have christian majorities.

    States with the lowest teen pregnancy rates?
    New Hampshire
    Vermont
    Maine
    Massachusetts
    Connecticut
    Rhode Island
    Washington
    Oregon
    Wisconsin

    These states have secular majorities.

    One might think that those anti-sex-ed/anti-abortion states would have fewer abortions. It's true with LA, MS, SC, & AZ, but not so true with the others. It's hard to watch the red states shoot themselves in the foot year after year after year. It does cause one to wonder.
    • Nov 16 2012: I am from Alabama and we have a mandatory class called "Health." It covers sex education.
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        Gail . 50+

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        Nov 16 2012: ALA CODE ยง 16-40A-2 : Alabama Code - Section 16-40A-2:

        (a) Any program or curriculum in the public schools in Alabama that includes sex education or the human reproductive process shall, as a minimum, include and emphasize the following:

        (1) Abstinence from sexual intercourse is the only completely effective protection against unwanted pregnancy, sexually transmitted diseases, and acquired immune deficiency syndrome (AIDS) when transmitted sexually.

        (2) Abstinence from sexual intercourse outside of lawful marriage is the expected social standard for unmarried school-age persons.

        (b) Course materials and instruction that relate to sexual education or sexually transmitted diseases should be age-appropriate.

        (c) Course materials and instruction that relate to sexual education or sexually transmitted diseases should include all of the following elements:

        (1) An emphasis on sexual abstinence as the only completely reliable method of avoiding unwanted teenage pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases.

        (2) An emphasis on the importance of self-control and ethical conduct pertaining to sexual behavior.

        The Code is longer than 2,000 characters here (including spaces) will allow.

        I began my post with: "In the USA, those states that outlaw sex ed in school, or require abstinence only sex-ed when sex-ed is taught, have the highest teen pregnancy rates in the country. Conversely, those states that mandate sex-ed in school have the lowest teen pregnancy rates."

        You might call Alabama versions of sex-ed, sex-ed, but those States that have the lowest teen-pregnancy rates don't call it a LEGITIMATE form of sex-ed. It has been proven to be ineffective and counter-productive. That was the point I tried to make, as the first sentence in my post addressed.
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    Nov 13 2012: Work for what? For whom? What is this program about, what is its intention?

    Sex is one of the strongest instincts we have, given by nature as rewarding pleasure to ensure the reproduction of our species. Due to its tremendous power and biological consequences, as well as the risk of diseases, young people have to be guided, helped and protected to become sexually responsible, independent and self-determined individuals.

    Abstinence as a program, certainly is the opposite of what it takes to get there.

    A broad education and an open, positive athmosphere on this topic is mandatory and it has to be free of any gloomy, sinful, and dirty notions which to often have been inflicted by destructive religious believes.

    As a society we need to support our young generations for them to find their very own and positive self-image in their sexuality, we need to protect our childen against sexual abuse and to allow the freedom for our adolescent to make their experiences in a way they choose to.

    Abstinence, promiscuity or pair-relationship is a matter of personal choice only and can never be enforced by 'programs' of any sort without destroying the natural and individual way of embracing and accepting our strong sexual instincts.

    Within my family, my brother and I were enlightened on sexuality within our natural pace of curiosity and we could speak open and freely with our mother about what we wished to know and to understand at very young age already.

    The only advice we got, was to be emotionally careful with others on our way to find, experience and to life our sexuality, and not to use them as lifeless objects for our personal selfish fulfillment.

    By this, I personally prefer long term monogamous pair-relationship based on a mutual and emotional bond. Marriage is just a legal form of it and no necessity.

    But this is just personal preference, not more, and people should be free to decide what form they choose or change for themselfs and to be open about it with others.
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    Nov 20 2012: when I was in grade six,us girls started to notice the boys. Our hormones were calling and we fumbled badly in the dark to from our own mythic versions of the sex act, who was a slut and how marriage was only years away. The boys barely looked at us. the hormones were not surging. Nothing we said to each other was about great families, childcare or whatt we felt were male responsibilities. Female solidarity fell apart at the word sex. Television swirled around us telling us to be pretty or thin,or -popular,,,,still no vision on how any of these things fit together...but we alienated all the girls who developed too fast as sluts...in grade 6. It actually gets worse from there,myths on how to get pregnant,ect. All the while all the non gay males are pre3ssured to be aggressive...I got sex education in grade ten,but nothing on kindness,or gentleness,or love or compatability....the prom Queen was the guide for how I should look..n all the eventts surrounding sex was more like a hunt of prey then a social mechanization for loved generations to come. Most came from religious homes.Clearly someone needs to humanize this terrifying arena
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    Nov 19 2012: No program works without the full support of those participating. If we were to believe some posts here they are only getting pregnet in red states and that is because of religion. Therefore it is much better to move to a blue state and dump your religion in order to save your daughter. I can see the next campaign stickers Vote Democrat Say NO to Sex and Religion. That would certainly reduce the birth rate.

    As a Independent I think that any party that tells me to not have sex and dump religion does not really want to win.

    I wonder if there are stats that show rates by ethnicity, by religious preference, and the one we all are holding our breath for "Are you red or blue" inquiring minds want to know, etc .... or if we just have to take someones word for it.

    I think that the bottom line rests in the family. Many families today are raising latch key children without family ties and questionable ethics. Another cause could be that both parents work in todays homes unlioke the 50's when Beaver Cleavers mom was home and cooking 24/7.

    There are a lot of generalizations thrown out here. But the only truth that has been spoke is that MY grandkids are cuter than yours.

    All the best. Bob.
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    Nov 14 2012: Not only do I think promoting abstinence is out of date but it also is correlated with a higher rate of teen pregnancies.

    Abstinence is out of date because in today's world teenagers need to explore the world, they don't need walls put up by parents and teachers. They need guides to help guide them in the right directing by teaching them the facts and letting them make a decision, wrong or right they are going to do it anyways. With the knowledge and tools we can give them they are more likely to make a informed decision on sex and any other life decision.

    Abstinence is also correlated with more teen pregnancies simply because in those sorts of communities good sex education is almost never available. Not only is this stupid but it is plain wrong, I understand that these people are trying to promote abstinence but denying teens education is just plain ignorant and damaging.

    Sex before marriage is natural and can help gain insight into a potential spouse to make sure they are compatible with you. Resulting in a happier long term marriage.
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    Nov 13 2012: In life what you hear and experience depends on your position, perception and decision.
    Someone who thinks something is impossible wont even try; someone who thinks something could be hard may decide to prepare to meet difficult challenges, or may decide to 'just give it a try'.
    There was a time when pre-marital sex was not a norm, and people still lived well. There are nations that still frown at pre-marital sex; and no one is dead or deformed for lack of sex.
    As a christian, the bible teaches that sex before marriage is a sin, and that in marriage one should be faithful.

    If you think that you cant abstain from sex, you probably cant. Because you are either convinced by someone, or you've convinced yourself.
    • Nov 19 2012: Yes but the bible also says in Leviticus 19:19 that you shall not where mixed fabrics, nor should people eat fish that don't have fins or scales. According to the bible Leviticus 11:10-12 that anything else (lobster) is an abomination and shouldn't be eaten, but I digress.

      I will have you know that I'm not against abstinence. I think people should wait to get to know a person before starting a sexually relationship. I don't believe that people should wait until their married in order to do that.

      I remember my friend Chris told me about he was brought up with the abstinence ring. He explained how it ended up causing a barrier in his relationship's because he kept trying focusing on trying to find that one.

      My issue is that by forcing abstinence before marriage unto teens it causes unnecessary psychological problems. One because when they do meet a companion they really like, they start to feel guilty for having carnal thoughts. When they go to talk to their trusted parental figures, the teens are condoned for it and get little about it besides the risks. So in order to answer there questions about it they end up turning to their peers and the internet. Which causes a lot of rumors such if guys pull out before they can prevent pregnancies. When the parents condone the adolescent for doing have sex it breaks the trust in there relationship, causing the teens to rebel.

      Sex isn't a sin it helps create life, and if it is a sin then let the people without sin cast the first stone.
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        Nov 19 2012: Mr Ezra Scarlet, I dont think you have read the entire book called the bible. If you have done that, you would know the difference between the laws given to Isreal, and the new dispensation of the church that came through Jesus Christ.
        The calling of the church is why people from all over the world can be called 'sons of God'. And it is what was the law in the old testament that became grace by the Holy Spirit, through Jesus Christ born in Isreal for the whole world.

        Now, in a world with millions of beautiful women; how do you expect someone who can not abstain from sex as a teenager (a foundational stage that is meant to have various other priorities than sexual pleasure) to be faithful in marriage?
        And from the divorce rates due to unfaithfulness you cant deny the fact that people expect faithfulness in marriage.
        The same excuses given for pre-marital sex continues to be given in marriage.

        If you are not a spirit-filled christian it could be hard, or even impossible to keep the body in control.
        But by God's strength, it was, and is no pre-marital sex for me; and no extra-marital affair.
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        Nov 19 2012: Mr Ezra Scarlet, I dont think you have read the entire book called the bible. If you have done that, you would know the difference between the laws given to Isreal, and the new dispensation of the church that came through Jesus Christ.
        The calling of the church is why people from all over the world can be called 'sons of God'. And it is what was the law in the old testament that became grace by the Holy Spirit, through Jesus Christ born in Isreal for the whole world.

        Now, in a world with millions of beautiful women; how do you expect someone who can not abstain from sex as a teenager (a foundational stage that is meant to have various other priorities than sexual pleasure) to be faithful in marriage?
        And from the divorce rates due to unfaithfulness you cant deny the fact that people expect faithfulness in marriage.
        The same excuses given for pre-marital sex continues to be given in marriage.

        If you are not a spirit-filled christian it could be hard, or even impossible to keep the body in control.
        But by God's strength, it was, and is no pre-marital sex for me; and no extra-marital affair.