This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »
Building an app to deepen relationships we have with people.
Sherry Turkle's talk really moved us, and two friends and I decided to do something about it:
Technology and social innovation has been focused on increasing the quantity of interactions and the quantity of the people you interact with.
We need to spend less time reading and liking statuses online and more time with our people in real life.
Why? Because for relationships to blossom we need to have real life interactions. So we decided to build something to make them better and simpler.
We are starting to build a mobile app whose sole purpose is to have a real life interaction with people you already know and that you want to see!
This is not a spammy thread to promote the app, because the app doesn't exist yet. We just want to meet and share with people that share the vision and wanting to be a part of it! Ping us on http://bit.ly/TEDpeople
Is a mobile app that facilitate face-to-face interactions (so we can increase the quality of relationships we have with people) something you'd love to see?
Josh Coulter
So, to sum that up, again - awesome idea. I think it's great. Now, I have a question for you:
Without getting straight into your implementation and IP, how do you imagine people can connect in a meaningful manner that doesn't seem outdated in today's world? You mention real life interactions, yet we have that capability with app-invoking devices, such as making a phone call, video chat, or texts. Where will your app reside in the continuum of "old-fashioned" phone calls, and the current fad of "interaction" known as a Like button?
Hugo Amsellem
We might have 500 friends on Facebook. Yet, we end up either always seeing the same 4-5 people, or seeing nobody.
Why? Because texting our best friends to go out is easy, and because Facebook isn't the right place for us to shout "Who's up for sushis tonight?". We want to create that place, that comfort zone!
http://getpeople.co if you want us to ping you when it's available!
M I
too many people are too busy looking in their phones. i made a policy that no phone use in my clothing store, so many come in and instead of shopping, they are just looking in their phones, they are so busy with that so they don't even look at the sign saying no phone use at the entry. smart phones are making this whole thing even worse. why do they bother coming in when they are not looking at anything but their phones.
Hugo Amsellem
Comment deleted
Hugo Amsellem
Sarah M
I fully support the less Computer/Phone social media time and more real people time.
Isn't having an App for this a contradiction?
If there was an App for it shouldn’t it say “ get off your phone and talk to a person in person”?
What I have noticed recently about people’s interaction who rely on their phones is people sitting across from each other in restaurants both on their phones to other people or social media websites.
If you look around a room of people you will see people everywhere checking facebook, Twitter etc. It seems to be a social crutch for some people. If you are nervous or uncomfortable in a social setting what do you do? Go to your phone.
It seems to be more of a problem for the Youth. Common curtsey is gone and they will talk to you while on their phone as well. In a world where multi tasking is praised maybe we should go back to the basics when communicating with each other and focus on one thing at a time.
Hugo Amsellem
Sarah M
Thanks for responding.
Still not really getting the concept but any App capable of bringing people together has to be positive :-)
Colleen Steen 500+
GREAT idea to spend more time with people in face to face interactions....with a mobile app? I "Pinged" your site, and found that one has to "join" on line to be connected with the site.
How about getting on the phone, or knocking on a friends door and inviting him/her to have coffee? Lunch? A beer? Going for a walk? Playing a Sport, or just sitting and talking? I don't understand how joining a site on-line facilitates face-to-face interactions! In my perception, you are simply encouraging more of the same behavior that you say you would like to move away from!
Hugo Amsellem
Feyisayo Anjorin 50+
All is takes is unselfish people; determined people; and people who are ready for the hardwork and sacrifices that would be neccessary for such.
Hugo Amsellem
So what happens is that you end up either going out with the same 3-4 people you are the closest with, or end up staying at home liking and commenting statuses.
Why? Because it’s easy and not demanding/akward/scary to text close friends, you don’t feel that much turned down when they don’t want to hang out. Yet you might have 500 Facebook friends that might want to hang out. Okay, you may just want to see 30-40 of them, but you never do and often come up with a “Oh, we should totally hang out more often!”. Will you text them this tuesday evening to grab a drink with a few friends? No, it’s too demanding/akward/scary, whatever adjective you use to describe this fear.
What we want technology to do and what we want to achieve here, is to create a comfort zone between you and those 30-40 people so you can overcome those fears and have easily more real life interactions.
We are building this app because we never want to miss an opportunity to see the people we want to see, and deepen relationships we have with them.
Is this a problem you already noticed?
Lejan . 30+
What you are suggesting seems like an 'availability lighthouse signal' sent into a dark digital network of 'friends' who then may respond if their availability settings are switched on 'receiving' or 'I like to go out, but I just don't know with whom'...
So what this app does, in my view, is actually preventing one on one communication, as it more or less just anonymously indicates that one wish to go out and that this one is just to lazy to directly contact their people, friends of his or her choice.
Sending out 'I am available tonight, who is joining me' actually indicates that there is no vital communication going on in the network of friends of that person who is sending this signal, otherwise there was no need to do so.
So I still don't see any advantage how this app would be able to deepen any relationship, as it does not eliminate the cause nor overcomes the reason of this 'isolation'.
Hugo Amsellem
This is great feedback you are giving us here Lejan, and as we are always changing stuff to create something meaningful, do you have an email address I can reach you on?
Lejan . 30+
It also seems that you have no clear definition on this 'friend' term itself, as it changes in your descriptions quite often:
a) '... people you already know and that you want to see'
b) '... texts message to your closest friends'
c) '... 500 Facebook friends'
d) '... just want to see 30-40 of them'
e) '... people you want to see, people you care about'
In this, b) and e) is what I would consider my friends and as I wrote earlier, I need no app to get in touch with them.
And even though I have no c) and d) type 'friends', out of 500, I would not consider them 'friends' at all and the use of this meaningful word in this context is nothing but corrosive to its original meaning.
Type a) people could be seen either as 'friends' or 'acquaintances' which in respect of the closeness of relation, is different to me.
So in your given ' Tuesday, 7pm' scenario, all my friends would be busy, as you described it, so how is your app gonna help me?
The only thing it could do, as I pictured before, is to send out this 'availability lighthouse signal' to an online audience, which, as my friends are not available, has to be seen simply and only as 'Plan B' type of people in this specific context. However, those people, I don't know as well and this then is what makes it, as you described it, 'demanding/akward/scary' to contact them.
Yet you claim your app to help 'relationships to blossom' and to have 'real life interactions', yet what it only does is to send an anonymous 'availability signal' into a radnom 'Plan B' audience which I actually don't really 'want to see' and 'care about', because, if I would, I would not consider it 'demanding/akward/scary' just to call and ask them.
Again I am not getting the point and this app only appears as a transponder to spread a 'signal of desperation' into a second choice mob.
Lejan . 30+
Fritzie Reisner 100+
If your new component is that it "deepens" the relationship, you might want to describe in a small way what you think the app would contribute.
No one questions the value of deepening relationships, but some might doubt that an app is the best or a valuable vehicle for that.
You also might consider, as you and your friends may be very attached to your phones, whether there is a better way of doing this without phones. Try this exercise.
Hugo Amsellem
Fritzie Reisner 100+
I am in a generation that tends more toward in-person connections, whether in person or on the phone, than to "liking," but I can see that you believe that your app will assist the younger and more phone-bound set to detach from their phones. And doing this by phone obviously seems to you the best bridge for your target audience.
The concept of target audience is key, I think, for commercial products or even free consumer products. As I am not on Facebook and do not have a smartphone, I would not be part of the audience whose views are highly relevant.
I hope your idea proves valuable for your friends as a starting point.
Theodore A. Hoppe 200+
Lejan . 30+
If I understand you right, what you propose, is to write a small computer-program (app) running on smartphones and/or tablet-pc's with the main purpose to get people to use less small computer-programs (apps & Co.) on those devices and to more often talk 'in person' with one another?
If this, my understanding is correct, what do you need this app for?
All those devices have what it takes already: The OFF switch !
The best face to face conversations I have with my friends get setteled in a very robust, old-fashioned yet quite effective way - I just call them to arrange a meeting, or I just step by at their place when I am arround.
So whatever 'tool' could be better than those mentioned to get this most simple task done?
In my opinion, if people chose not to meet each other in person anymore, it is not the technology which insulates them from doing so, it's more likely they haven't found the right friends yet, or they have nothing left or experienced to really talk about.
I didn't mean to undermine your idea on purpose, yet I just don't see a meaningful point in it.
Hugo Amsellem
Rhona Pavis 50+
Hugo Amsellem
Theodore A. Hoppe 200+
"Human relationships are rich and they're messy and they're demanding. And we clean them up with technology. And when we do, one of the things that can happen is that we sacrifice conversation for mere connection. We short-change ourselves. And over time, we seem to forget this, or we seem to stop caring."
Loneliness is a much deeper feeling, it can be about being alone in the crowd. It is a sense of being understood, cared about, and belonging. That requires a level of intimacy technology does not establish, but it might be able to sustain. Whether the technology is even available to the most vulnerable is also a concern as well.
What is the value of a hug, or its effect of on the body? Can technology really turn off the cortisol and turn on the oxytocin in our brains.
"Reach out and touch someone," was advertising slogan from awhile back. Unless an APP can lead to the promise of face to face interaction, this is what we crave, what's the point ?
Hugo Amsellem
Fritzie Reisner 100+
Since you talk about deepening relationships, in my experience deeper relationships arise when you get together face to face with one or two people.
Isn't the value-added for an app over a personal phone call mainly when you want to send out an alert to lots of people simultaneously?
I assume you mean the app is for scheduling rather than somehow placing prompts for discussion on your phone. Or do you mean something like having an Ungame app on your phone?
Hugo Amsellem
gale kooser 20+
Tried to go to your Ping but it wouldn't show up.
Hugo Amsellem