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Why are we ashamed?

We have reached mars, we have placed flags on the moon and we are doing some amazing research on all of the topics that the human brain can think of... but the problem is: why are we still unhappy?

Why have we failed to solve even the smallest of our issues? Why can't most of us can't say this with pride that we are extremely happy and grateful to be a part of this generation?

Topics: society
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    Gail . 50+

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    Oct 21 2012: Shame is indoctrinated into us from a very young age. In school, our teachers required us to call them Mr. or Mrs. (name), but they called us by our first names. This is a subtle form of shaming, but I remember recognizing what they were doing, and I remember feeling shame because of it.

    We are graded and our mistakes are pointed out to us. How much of your life did you hear people praise you for your successes, however small? As much as your mistakes or lack of understanding was pointed out and graded?

    The three major religions teach shame. They teach us that we are imperfect. They confuse mistakes with "sin". They judge harshly. We are encouraged to judge others (some are told to be "fruit pickers" - meaning - judge others according to the fruits of their labors), and when we do that, we instinctively know that we are being judged, and that we are not perfect, and this brings shame.

    The idea of the individual being perfect is easily understandable, but because so few have taken the time to look for their own perfection (in spite of mistakes made in the pursuit of learning), we try to hide from ourselves and others. We are told to be humble, but what is humility if it is not being less than you can be for the benefit of another? This brings shame. Caste systems cause shame. Class systems cause shame. Poverty causes shame in a culture that is obsessed with money.

    The importance of experiencing shame is indoctrinated into us from a very young age. You can escape it, but you have to recognize your own perfection first.
  • Oct 22 2012: Shame is not the same as happiness, nor the same as guilt.
    If one aspires to do something and fails they may feel shame. But why?
    Somewhere they were taught that not being perfect is to be ashamed of.
    Thus, shame is feeling that you, all by yourself, are somehow wrong, just from birth.
    That is unhealthy, toxic shame and one reason it is toxic is because it is a lie.

    Guilt is the sense or feeling of doing something wrong, based in part on many different ideas and moral codes that one learns or is taught depending on where one is born, lives, grows up or interacts with others on a long term basis.

    Happiness is something one chooses or something that happens. It needs to be recognized because many times it is not.

    There is too much shame in the world, no thanks to the teachings of almost all religions, the sources of evil in the world.
    Shame kills and shame-based people kill others and just plain kill.

    One of the worst lies told to humans is that they are separate, particularly as taught by religion that they are separate from their God. So, they do incredible things and don't feel worthy because nothing can make a person who by birth is wrong, into feeling good about themselves.

    For shame religion!!!
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    Oct 22 2012: I see several different questions in what you have asked. In answer to why people are unhappy, many people cannot be happy when they see others are suffering. Placing a flag on the moon does not take away empathy or frustration that we do not yet know how to cure cancer and so forth.

    Why we have not solved problems is that the issues may be complex and it often takes many experiments and many mistakes on the way to breakthroughs. Also people sometimes act at cross purposes, and making one thing better sometimes makes another worse in ways that are complex and hard to predict.
    Other people fixate on things that are either trivial or misconceptions and therefore waste a lot of opportunity to help make progress.

    Shame is a different issue, I think. People grow up being urged to do our best and yet none of us will always do our best. People then may feel guilty for not doing their best or making mistakes or getting carried away in one way or another.

    Not everyone was raised within a framework that placed much emphasis on shame and sin. I don't think I ever heard the word sin until I encountered it in reading for a class in high school. While values certainly were part of my upbringing and culture, sin and shame weren't.

    So your question will have different answers for different people.
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    Oct 22 2012: The thing is most of the world stopped defining the problems. They are trying to find the answer without knowing the question. Without the question, your answer will be inadiquote to solve it. Most of our generation have their instroctions to live and serve; so the easiest and the simplest way to live is to follow them. People needs just to think more about it and they would find the way out.

    We are too destructive to live with our instincts; so we should stop, see and observe. After then we can end this madness and greed that makes us feel ashamed.
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    Oct 21 2012: firstly ı want to say that this issue is very significant ...because it ıncludes very specific problems such as capitalism and competetion ... the west world encourage to consume becasuse of that achievements and discoveries are only a step of the next one ... finally we need to think a little more
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    Oct 21 2012: I think:

    We are still unhappy because:

    (1) Most of the happiness, about 90%, we pursue today is false or INVALID happiness.
    (2) INVALID happiness is the happiness out of its validity scope.
    (3) Validity of happiness is determined by the conditions in which the instinct of happiness is formed about 10,000 years ago.
    (4) Valid happiness does us good, but invalid happiness bad almost in all cases.

    Wrong?
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      Oct 21 2012: Hi Ying really intersting but how you define valid and invalid happiness??