fareedun hocane

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why we fall in love?

why we fall in love?
when we know this that we have to face lost in it or then y we struggle and why we suffer for it.do we love for our experience in life or to change our life? i was in love but i lost lassssss.i was in love with sssssssssssaaaaaaaaammmmmmm.he did not recognize me.i lost him he hurt me alot

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    Oct 15 2012: I have never actually fallen in love but I have stepped in it a few times.
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      Oct 15 2012: Perhaps you have very good balance:>)

      I cannot say that I have ever "fallen in love" either. I have loved people on many different levels, and the only time I have felt hurt, is when I had expectations that the other person was not willing or able to meet.
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    Oct 10 2012: Rick pretty much says it all so all i can add is something that never fails to bring a good smile from me, a smile from good times past.

    A young couple hand in hand down close to the waterfront, he pulls her close, she leans in as he wraps his arm around her as they both say goodbye to the orange sun....Love.
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    Oct 9 2012: Love is part of being a Human Being. The biggest mis-conception about love is that we, as Human Beings, can control it. We can't...it either happens or it doesn't happen to us. And love is much broader in scope than most people ever learn or realize it to be.


    Quoted from the above linked article:

    "Love speaks out for justice and protests when harm is being done. Love points out the consequences of hurting oneself or others. Love allows room for anger, grief, or pain to be expressed and released. But love does not threaten to withhold itself if it doesn't get what it wants."
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      Oct 16 2012: rick i read whole article about love thanks
  • Oct 9 2012: Love yourself first if you can't do that you will never understand. Its the best answer I have for you.
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    Oct 15 2012: Why? There's no answer to that imho.
    "the heart has its reasons which reason knows nothing of". (Blaise Pascal, French philosopher). In my books, this is the best explanation that I've found so far.

    It's what we, humans, do in life. We fall in love and sometimes fall (out of) love. I fell in love several times, thinking (sorry: feeling) she was the One. Got married. Divorced. Fell in love again and then fell.

    The best way to cope with love when love hurts is to learn more about yourself and love yourself. Falling in love will happen again. I strongly believe that people feeling good about who they are and being happy with what they do kind of radiates and attracts the attention of people.

    If it hurts losing someone you love, you will be able to enjoy even more the next relationship, don't worry.

    Last but not least, here is a quote by Churchill: 'if you're going through hell, keep on going". One day you will wake up and feel this lost love no longer hurts and you will be ready again to fall in love.
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      Oct 15 2012: lolz
      you are at some point rite but it is impossible to forget love on the other side you made me hopeful as well
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        Oct 16 2012: Hi
        perhaps it is impossible to forget for the moment, but just for now. One day...!
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    Oct 13 2012: Because we don't know how to "stand" in love.. be firm.. rather people become delusional, emotional enough, rational thinking process his overwhelmed by that feeling...Actual meaning of relationship is subsided...

    Distinguish between attraction and love.. sometimes you are in the moment and feel it as love and when you pull out of it, you realize..

    Anyway, being more rational and mature is the way to go, i think..just a share, don't know anything really, coz haven't been through this wreck..
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      Oct 13 2012: emotions man cant be control first of all.
      love can only identified by a person who know what is love .love has not meaning of ditch or cheat it has not the meaning of to hurt some one.some people get their achievements in love by forgetting this that they are hurting someone.
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        Oct 14 2012: well, its a complicated subject...learn something from the past and be mature next time
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          Oct 14 2012: hi osama
          i learn from past then,when i have any experience of love in past my love is first time in my life so what can i learn from past nothing.
          love is not complicated thing it makes our lives complicated after the lose in love which i faced
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        Oct 15 2012: subject as a whole, involving relationship, is complicated.. actually its up to people themselves, how complicated they make it..

        about experience, i don't know what happened with your relationship, but it seems you have faced something terrible.. NEXT time, be careful
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          Oct 15 2012: hi osama
          ya i got lesson in my life but i am still alas that how much i was sincered in love
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          Oct 15 2012: osama i dont knw how can i forget him please guide me if you can tell
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        Oct 15 2012: Same story and quetions are here b
        ut still living a happy life although sometimes it hurts a lot but I know how to handle this situation.
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        Oct 16 2012: I am extremely SORRY but it is personal I can not share it publicly because I do not want to tell a lie or in three lines that I did volunteer work or things like this because these things wont help you.

        Sorry again
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    Oct 29 2012: Because our vulnerable children need two parents, because it's premature, because of bipedism and because of brainsize.
    The head is big because it was selected by culture to be big enough to carry down traditions, because we've evolved to depend on culture to survive, because it's cheaper than biological evolution.
    So we fall in love because of bipedism, and because the cost of a big brain is ballanced by the cheap cost of cultural adaptation.
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    Oct 25 2012: We fall in love because we are humans and everyone falls in love and its a beautiful thing. Sometimes we may get hurt but that doesn't mean that love is bad. I think everyone must remember this if they are in love:
    " Roz rote hue kehti h zindagi mujhse , ek shaks ki khatir mujhe barbaad na kr"
    "Every day my life cries and request me that please don't ruin me just for one person"
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      Oct 25 2012: hurting condition makes it bad i know love is not bad.as we continue our love and fail to forget
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        Oct 26 2012: but that also make you strong...
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        Oct 29 2012: Never cry for your love because the person who loves you will never let you cry....
        Hey how are you???
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    Oct 20 2012: We fall in love because we are genetically designed to do so, in order to stay with our mate long enough for our children to survive in the world. The phrase is aptly named in English in the sense that the falling in love part seems to happen of its own accord and without effort - just like falling in real life. And just like real life where you can't totally control when you're going to fall (if you could you'd never fall!), we can't control when we're going to fall in love - it just happens, or not, seemingly out of our control. It matters little whether we're out there looking for it or not - it will find us.

    We've layered so much culture and thinking around this that we can also get caught up in all these higher levels of love, but at it's core - I think it's an evolution thing. That may seem degrading for some who look at love as a spiritual experience - how could that arise from a mating trick?

    Falling in love had to be an incredibly powerful experience in order to work genetically. Your body releases all kinds of chemicals when you are in love, which physically alters your brain, thinking, and behavior. Like a drug, some get hooked on the high - although the initial high, like every drug experience, eventually (given years or decades) wears off and you have an opportunity to transition to another kind of love.

    As it is the other person which is the source of your love "high", if that person is suddenly gone for whatever reason, you must transition back to (or forward to) your not-in-love way of being. And as wonderful as falling in love feels, you now have to pick yourself up (you've fallen, right?), heal your bruises, and move forward again.

    If you're not out there swinging around in the trees, you'll never fall, but you'll never enjoy life either. Gotta get out there and swing around in the trees, which means sometimes you fall and get hurt, but hopefully frequently you are experiencing glorious joy.
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    Oct 20 2012: I think:
    We love for keeping our DNA alive.
    Otherwise, there is no human in the world.

    Love is driven by our instincts (ancestors’ successful experiences saved in our DNA) unconsciously.
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    Oct 20 2012: "
    5. Sexual Love (Primary Symbiosis)
    Sexual love is an essential component of the second period of primary symbiosis in a person’s life.
    a. Definition
    The instinctively falling in sexual love of a man and a woman is to further bio-accurately match (including "running in") their data-programs of both instincts (ancestors’ successful experiences) and acquired pre-instincts (personal acquired wise, knowledge, accuracy, and etc.) as well as the concrete physical bodies.
    Sexual love ought to start only after the fully development of a person’s brain as well as body. Starting before the physiologically full mature of a boy or girl means haste and waste. It would cause problems often than not.
    b. Success or Failure
    Failure in sexual love is just because of the bio-matching with a wrong person. Then, quit it and match with someone else again.
    However, sexual love of a marriage ought to last definitely until the end of the couple’s life. This is because our life purpose of keeping our DNA alive needs us to do it this way.
    Never be misled by invalid happiness prevailing in today’s society of big cities or highly efficient telecommunication techniques. There, the invalid happiness is increasingly enhanced extraordinarily.
    c. Match Scope
    The size of symbiotic group in which the matching proceeds will impact the matching strongly. The smaller the symbiotic society or group is, the easier the matching will be. For an example, may it be extreme, the only two dwellers of a man and a woman in an isolated island will surely match with a probability of 100%.

       Sexual Love
    Strong person may not match,
    Bad match isn’t you are not strong.
    Play dumb for all little matters,
    Big ones will not go wrong.
    Then your happy marriage,
    Will last century long.

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    Oct 15 2012: Fareedun,
    We fall in love because it is pleasurable. As humans, we generally want to love and be loved.

    Love does not cause struggle and suffering. It is our expectations, and struggle is a choice.

    We love based on the reasons we CHOOSE to love. What is it for you? What are your expectations about love? Do you fall in love for your own experience of life? Or do you fall in love hoping to change your life? It's important to be clear with what YOU want and need from a loving relationship.

    If he did not recognize you, there was nothing to lose. If he decided NOT to be in relationship with you, or decided not to fall in love with you, it was a choice he made. You were hurt because he did not do what you wanted him to do?
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    Oct 15 2012: Falling in love happens after you meet the object of your desire, mostly one that represents everything you want but don't have yourself. Often it's an illusion for one projects all desirable on the object of desire which often aren't really there The object of your love only mirrors your own desire. Some people live out this illusion a lifetime both acting the way they feel the other one desires while most will see over time the true person they've met. If they from that point start to love each other for what they really are then real love awakens, jealousy becomes trust and desire becomes caring for one another.
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    Oct 15 2012: I think:
    The following quotation may solve the invalid happiness part of the problem:
    a. Husband
    The husband half is biologically assigned in charge of food-seeking, habitat constructing, defending, donating all kinds of co-body-safety messages ceaselessly to his wife (kissing, embracing, and so on) .
    His ability and smartness come mainly from the ceaseless intimate encouragement of the other half of the marriage ---- the wife.
    b. Wife
    The wife is biologically assigned in charge of the child bearing, child bring up, house hold, and etc.
    She transfers all the physical substantial materials from her own body into the baby’s. Also, she exhausts all her spiritual energy to bring up the baby or child ---- the DNA-carrier of both the husband and wife.
    That is where her mother-greatness and beauty come from.
    Her beauty and virtue are support-enhanced by the ceaseless intimate co-body message from the other half of the marriage ---- the husband.
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    Oct 13 2012: Becouse is normal!! :) Salamalecum ...Mer haba?
  • Oct 12 2012: Been my experience that if a woman truly loves a guy and shines her love light on him, AND he responds, the relationship has a chance. Conversely, my experience; "Sorry Glen, I'm going to be another man's item." It really is up to the woman, and a guy who is not a jerk and recognizes a really good thing.
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    Oct 11 2012: Because love is a state of mind originating from its' very core, namely the subconscious mind. Therefore it cannot be simply addressed as a free choice, but its' imitation can.
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    Oct 10 2012: we are prey to LOVE that's why
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    Oct 10 2012: We begin as lovers because we find someone or something to love. We love another person either because he or she is found lovable, or if the person loves us.
    Hence love is also a choice. But love would not grow and remain as it is if it is not nurtured with commitment. When we become intimate with a person and we realise that the person is not perfect (just as we are not), then love is tested; and only the committed would weather the storm.
    That is when we really know if we are true lovers or just someone looking for something that would never be found (a perfect human being).

    We are not loved because we are perfect, we are perfect because we are loved.
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      Oct 10 2012: feyisayo you are right.but some times love changes our life and our mind may b it makes us perfect and some times imperfect
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    Oct 10 2012: Me too agree with Rick that it is something that is uncontrollable one can do is the thing to ask for love from the other person and keep praying if he believes in God.
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      Oct 15 2012: ya noveed u rite i should believe in GOD
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        Oct 15 2012: Fareedun also believe in God and to make some $$$$....
  • Oct 9 2012: I fall in love when I meet somebody who is important for my life