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Noemí Herrero

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Is love a rational process?

While speaking with a friend the other day, he told me this: "I don´t believe in love because love is a rational process". I was in shocked as complete believer of "romantic love". Since then...I couldn´t stop reading and wonder...Am I wrong?? I have being living 32 years old believing in love and then love is just a reponse to values??
It is with a person’s sense of life that one falls in love—with that essential sum, that fundamental stand or way of facing existence, which is the essence of a personality??
One falls in love with the embodiment of the values that formed a person’s character, which are reflected in his widest goals or smallest gestures, which create the style of his soul—the individual style of a unique, unrepeatable, irreplaceable consciousness. It is one’s own sense of life that acts as the selector, and responds to what it recognizes as one’s own basic values in the person of another. It is not a matter of professed convictions (though these are not irrelevant); it is a matter of much more profound, conscious and subconscious harmony???
Then...my colleagues...is love just a rational process??? I have being waiting all my life for something that at the end is just a rational process of selection as if i was going to the market and select what I am going to eat the rest of the next "let´s say" one month, one year, all life ??

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    Oct 23 2012: Noemi,

    I posted the below a while back in a similar topic, so it's a repeat here. But in case you didn't see the other topic and my post there, here's one way of deciphering "love".

    http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/love-without-limits/201111/what-is-love

    Quoted from the above linked article:

    "Love speaks out for justice and protests when harm is being done. Love points out the consequences of hurting oneself or others. Love allows room for anger, grief, or pain to be expressed and released. But love does not threaten to withhold itself if it doesn't get what it wants."

    To me, love can be both rational and irrational. Depends on the circumstances, even when considering the love you may have for the same person. It will be rational at times, and emotional (irrational?) at others. That's what makes it interesting and challenging, too. And hopefully, a rewarding experience for those involved.

    But the thing I like about the description of love quoted above is that it seems very applicable to all different types of love. It will work for "I love my fiance' and that is why we are getting married" just as easily as it will work for "I love my fellow Man, and that is why I will try to treat him with dignity and respect at all times".

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