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Noemí Herrero

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Is love a rational process?

While speaking with a friend the other day, he told me this: "I don´t believe in love because love is a rational process". I was in shocked as complete believer of "romantic love". Since then...I couldn´t stop reading and wonder...Am I wrong?? I have being living 32 years old believing in love and then love is just a reponse to values??
It is with a person’s sense of life that one falls in love—with that essential sum, that fundamental stand or way of facing existence, which is the essence of a personality??
One falls in love with the embodiment of the values that formed a person’s character, which are reflected in his widest goals or smallest gestures, which create the style of his soul—the individual style of a unique, unrepeatable, irreplaceable consciousness. It is one’s own sense of life that acts as the selector, and responds to what it recognizes as one’s own basic values in the person of another. It is not a matter of professed convictions (though these are not irrelevant); it is a matter of much more profound, conscious and subconscious harmony???
Then...my colleagues...is love just a rational process??? I have being waiting all my life for something that at the end is just a rational process of selection as if i was going to the market and select what I am going to eat the rest of the next "let´s say" one month, one year, all life ??


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  • Oct 23 2012: Love is not a rational process.

    When you love somebody and you stop to actually think about it, I'm sure that you will find something about them (if not everything) that will make you go "huh, I wouldn't have expected to love that."

    Love is a powerful state of mind that produces emotions that can't be easily controlled. It is not a rational state of mind and I am in disbelief that anyone could think otherwise. If you believe that you "love" someone, you are willing to put yourself through physical and emotional stress to keep the relationship going. You become willing to do a lot of things that you otherwise wouldn't have considered because the person you love becomes a very important aspect in your life that you fight to preserve.

    If anything, love is dangerous because it can lead to your own self-destruction. You can believe that somehow it is going to work, keep yourself in an irreparable situation, just because the thought of leaving the thing you love seems so much worse than the present. I feel that when relationships (when the people are truly in love) encounter an obstacle, it can be very serious. If someone is completely in love and in hurt, they become like a drowning victim. The other partner tries to help them, but the victim just pulls them down with them.

    People can be hurt in love because you don't fully grasp what you are doing until it is too late.

    But people can also feel an overwhelming joy, something that cannot be compared to any other feeling in the world.

    When studies show that the brain acts as if it were on drugs during love this is IMPORTANT, people. Addiction is not a rational process and neither is love.

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