neil cheney

Manager - Marylebone Branch, Lurot Brand Ltd

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What would life be like without fear?

I believe that fear is essential in order to survive

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    Sep 25 2012: Rational fear? Or irrational fear?

    Rational fear will attempt to keep you from harming yourself and/or others, hence it augments your and other's survival.

    Irrational fear is a mis-conception/perception of how you relate to your environment and the threats it poses to you. When you act on irrational fears, you risk not only harming yourself, but also others (not to mention wasting energy that you didn't need to exert in the first place). Even when OTHERS don't have the same irrational fears you may have.

    Fear is a powerful emotion that many people have historically abused by instilling it upon others in blatant attempts to control them.

    Look at all the things you fear. Ask yourself if they are rational or irrational fears. Ask yourself how did you acquire those fears in the first place. Some fears are arguably instinctual...you were born with them and they work to ensure your survival if you respect them. But after your birth, the rest of your fears are "learned". Ask yourself who taught you the rest of your fears, and why. And whether you really need to respect those fears just because they are somebody else's fears...not yours until the somebody else taught them to you.
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      Gail .

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      Sep 25 2012: Well said! I so wish that others understood the difference between rational fear and irrational fear. I have used these terms often, but this is the first time I've heard someone else say the words. Nice to meet you!
    • Sep 25 2012: Excellent comment.

      I would only add that in the modern Western world, almost all fears are irrational.

      Paradoxically, many of us suffer the delusion that we should value security as an absolute. That our lives and the lives of our children must always be secure from violence, natural disasters, and other harms. If we want a free and open society, we will never achieve absolute security. This implies we will always have a number of victims, the price of freedom.

      So how do we draw the line between rational fear and irrational fear? That would make a good conversation by itself.
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        Sep 25 2012: In the concept of your analogy about absolute security in a free society, there are many examples I can think of where people act irrationally, and in some cases even hypocritically. The main reason? Perceived personal inconvenience.

        9/11 is a good example. After 4 airliners were hijcked and the passengers on them died, plenty of people complained that the government didn't protect them enough. So the government implements TSA and enhanced airport security screenings of all passengers.

        Result? Many (of the same!) people then complained the government was inconveniencing them with long lines and added waits, and had no right to violate their freedoms by searching them before letting them on an airplane. "I'm not a terrorist! Search the OTHER people!"

        Was their fear of not being safe over-ridden by their need to not be inconvenienced? What's rational to one person may be totally irrational to the next.
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    Sep 25 2012: Fear is a liar..so where there is no fear there is a possibility of truth

    Fear makes us vulnerable to manipulation, without fear there is a possibility of seeing clearly and being truly free

    Fear holds us back from acting and speaking with wisdom ad courage

    Fear is self centered; we cannot serve others, serve the world ,serve life from a place of fear
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    Gail .

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    Sep 25 2012: There are two kinds of fear - irrational fear, and fear that can be avoided.

    Irrational fear is an invitation to grow beyond it.

    It is said that humankind's greatest fear is not fear of our smallness; but rather, fear of our greatness. I agree with this sentiment.

    When you dare to see your own individual innate greatness and power, fear has no power over you (unless you choose to allow it to), and your life will improve in ways that most cannot now conceive. You will know the meaning of safety and freedom.
  • Oct 25 2012: What is fear? :)
    I fear things that can kill me in a literal way. Other risks are wellcome. Pain and mistakes are part of the learning process of life.
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    Oct 7 2012: Short.

    Life might be very short if you did not fear actual threats to your life.
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    Oct 7 2012: i think you will have a peace mind,and live a simple life .when you do not fear .and you
    do not care the usual things too much . and just have your deam .you will get what you want ,you will be not feared .
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    Oct 7 2012: Yes!
    It is essential!
    It is vital important instinct of our ancestors’ successful experiences sanved in our DNA.
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    Sep 27 2012: I agree with the response in the other thread (lindsay provided link to) in which it quoted gandhi: "be the change you want to see in the world"...yuri eloquently explained how the meaning behind this quote provides options or choices for those who may judge fear a bad/helpless thing. of course, that dialogue was in the context of the thread 'how to get rid of fear'...

    i believe fear is an essential part of our journey, in which death is not a 'bad' thing to be feared. however, inherent in working towards a more conscious life -- which I believe is our ultimate goal -- is the task (lack of better word) of letting go of fear(s). yuri & colleen (and probably others) do a wonderful job of explaining the reasons fear is essentially a negative emotion to be let go of, rather than one used as a motivating/guiding force.
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    Sep 25 2012: our earlier conversation on fear is a great read!!!

    http://www.ted.com/conversations/11201/how_to_get_rid_of_fear.html

    actually got pretty heated !!!
  • Sep 25 2012: Some of the comments seem to be equating fear with risk.

    For the purposes of this discussion, perhaps we should define fear.

    To me, fear is an emotion. This is very different from a rational analysis of risk. I do not fear nuclear reactors, but I consider them risky and would rather not live anywhere near one. For the same reason, I choose to not live on a flood plain. Some people fear death. I do not fear death, though I know it is certain.
  • Sep 25 2012: it would be lame. lol
    even meaningless.
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      Oct 25 2012: you mean life is meaningful because of fear .
      what is the percent of your fear in your life ,?
      i think life is wonderful when we have no fear ,
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    Sep 25 2012: If there's no fear, there would also be no warning about the dangers out there.

    What if I'm like "I wonder what would happen if I jump off a cliff, I'm not afraid of any dangerous repercussions."
    *Jumps off cliff, dies*

    Or, "Oh hey, there's a nuclear reactor, I'm not afraid of the repercussions so I'm not gonna treat the reactor with care or caution."

    I agree with Rick with the rational and irrational fear. There's a lot of irrational unnecessary fear, but there are fears out there that is necessary.
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      Sep 25 2012: In my younger days I had a fear of heights. But as I got older I wanted to get my pilot's license. Hmmm...conflict there, eh? But I learned that in most civilian general aviation airplanes, even if the engine quits in mid-flight you can glide the airplane to a landing (as long as you have someplace to land it). So I got over my fear of heights.

      Don't know if that was rational though, as a year after that I took up skydiving. Did that for ten years. ;-)

      I just made sure I respected both activities and didn't cut corners with either of them when it came to safety. Risk Management can mitigate even rational fears that are dangerous to your well being, and minimize the added danger to you from participating in those type of activities.

      Oh yeah...I took up scuba diving later when I was in the Air Force. Always had a fear of drowning before that.

      Now I'm retired and ride a motorcycle.

      My life insurance agent hates me. ;-)
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        Sep 25 2012: lol nice story

        Some of my fears are spiders or stagefrights. Spiders because those bites look really nasty. Stagefrights because I guess I just sometimes can't handle the pressure when everyone's watching and judging the person in the stagelight.
        • Sep 25 2012: I hate spiders too. I get terrified when I see them.
          And whenever I scream because of those little, yet nasty creatures, people around me giggle.
          One day, I was studying in my room. It was almost 4pm--no one's awake except for me and...that disgusting creature. It just jumped in my room and crawled on my desk.
          I could have screamed, but I put my hands on my mouth instead.
          For about 2-3 minutes, the spider and I were just motionless.
          Ahh...that silence...
          I'm kind of proud to say that I eventually killed that little buddy(cruel..!)! lol
          Well, obviously I had to, because otherwise, I wouldn't have been able to keep studying.
          Still, I fear spiders, but no longer scream at them.
          Will it help you overcome your fear? lol
          Give it a shot, maybe ;-)
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          Sep 25 2012: Your a good communicator James,i find it hard to think you might suffer from stagefright or is it you don't but it sits in the back of your mind? if it is then just focus on peoples foreheads or eyebrows,it's the eyes that put you off.
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        Sep 25 2012: @Ken

        Thx dude!

        I'm not a particularly loud person in real life (I can be depending on who my audience is), especially when addressing large masses. I prefer 1-to-1 communication or communication with small groups of people.

        And the other thing about me is that being a tryhard communicator, I do care about what I say and I care about how I say it, and this also means I care about what other people think of what I say, how I say it, and what I think.

        The luxury of an online forum is that I don't need to speak to voice my opinion.
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    Sep 25 2012: There wouldn't be any HERO or COWARD.......and life expectancy at big question mark
  • Sep 25 2012: What fear are you thinking of?
    I believe humans are only born with two fears.
    Fear of falling and fear of loud noises.

    All the others we are proliferated with, are learned.
    Some are of value and some are not, meaning they are not real, but are neurosis.

    And do you mean or include everyone? No one has any fear of any kind or every one has fear, faces them and is not only able to win out against fear, but also to destroy fear, in whatever form that may be in order to qualify for there being no fear?

    Life is "supposed to" ??? be a wonderful thing to have, experience, enjoy and live, but I know people who experience life or being alive as just another kind of violent threat. So, which is it?

    No fear would be nice for someone like that, but as Mr. Pinter so concisely said, "short" would fit very well.

    So how would this world change or be change from the get-go if fear didn't exist, and to me that means that there are no causes of fear.

    Crap! I fear I'm getting lost in words.
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      Sep 25 2012: Actually we are not born with a fear of falling. It is a learned fear. Numerous studies of how an infant brain develops have proven this. Experiments with infants placed at an elevation on an opaque platform with a transparent platform they could crawl out on while seeing a "big drop" below them show that in the early stages of development, the infant will crawl out onto the transparent platform with no fear whatsoever. Their brain has not developed the insight to experience the danger of "falling off the edge of a cliff" so to speak. As they get older, but still in the infant stage, somehow the brain makes the connection though. The same infant who would routinely crawl out onto the transparent platform will eventually refuse to do it, with no previous experience of actually falling off in the past. Researchers are still puzzled as to why and how this change occurs. It's noteworthy to know that these experiments all take place well before the infant starts trying to learn to walk, so falling down during the learning to walk experience is not a factor.
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    Sep 25 2012: short
  • Sep 25 2012: LIFE will be Wonderful.

    We got nothing to fear but fear itself!

    a few days ago I asked: What is our Deepest fear?
    yet I quoted Marianne Williamson's quote from Return to love, book.