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Tibor V. Varga

PhD student, Lund University

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Love is overrated

You will never find your true love, there is no perfect relationship.
Or is there?
Isn't love overrated? Shouldn't we aim for other types of relationships (eg. open relationships, not monogamous relationships, communes)?

Topics: love
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    Sep 29 2012: In my point of view, the older people become, the more they are disappointed in love (and not only in love..in people, in friendship and in life generally). When we are young, we don´t know a lot about life. Everything seems to be interesting, good and you want believe in good things. So mb because of my youth and brief experience of life I believe in love. I believe that you can love somebody strange (including homosexuals). Of course love is not ideal. But it is amazing how love can change us, our thoughts, feelings, actions etc. Somebody feels so happy, somebody gives way to despair. Everything depends on how strong feelings are, how mutual love is. It is really hard to decide is love overrated or not. I think people, who are very happy in love they overrate it, people who are unhappy vice-versa (underestimate it). There is no middle sight. You have everything or you have nothing (often broken heart).

    I want to believe that love exits. Then, why we feel so depressed, sad and bad when we lose people, who we took care about, who we like and with whom we want to be? I guess the reason is love..we love each other inspite of age, weigh, sex etc.

    As concerns not monogamous relationships, I dispute it. Although, there are a lot of people, who like it or have reasons for it. People are different, if they allow each other to be "free", so it is their own business and decision. But when people, who are in couple or already in marriage (which was built on love) start to betray each other - is unacceptible, mean and disgusting.

    In conclusion I would like to say inspite of all unhappiness, bad love experiences is better to move on and keep belief in love, than assert that love is overrated, become self-contained and push away other people. It is easier to live, if you have belief and hope to find real love.
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      Sep 30 2012: I think you will find as you get older that getting older does not make you more disappointed in love and friendship. Once you are in the last third of your life, you may well have a chance to marvel at loves and friemdships that have lasted forty and fifty years (and are still going strong). You will see how you feel every day to see your children or hear their voices on the phone, You will have seen your parents in their old age look at you and see that behind their eyes, a film runs of you from your first cry, to your first steps, to your helping them walk up your stairs...

      Young people can easily guess wrong about what is going on in the heads and hearts of older people.
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        Sep 30 2012: Yes, I fully agree that these people, who found real friends and love, which one has been lasting for 20-30 years are happy and able to love. But also there are people who were divorsed early in life and didn´t raise a family. With age it is hard to find someone for them, because once they already had bad experience and now afraid to trust people. They are more attentive. I meant this situation.

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