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Tibor V. Varga

PhD student, Lund University

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Love is overrated

You will never find your true love, there is no perfect relationship.
Or is there?
Isn't love overrated? Shouldn't we aim for other types of relationships (eg. open relationships, not monogamous relationships, communes)?

Topics: love
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    Sep 22 2012: With your comment about communes I'm assuming you mean love in a carnal, monogomous sense. The relationship and courtship of love.

    I am a monogomist. I believe in monogomy so much I've done it three times (more if you don't count the church and the paper) you might call me a serial monogamist. It's great, it's wonderful. I've screwed it up more times than I can count, but I think I finally got it right. Or at least that's what my wife tells me.

    So, while I am not the best example of a continually successful monogomous relationship, I will always defend it as the ultimate expression of the completeness of the human being. There is so much of us that is only half, and two people coming together, in spiritual as well as a carnal sense, is the greatest, the ultimate, expression of how we are only complete when we finally subsume ourselves into a greater whole. It demonstrates that we are not complete on our own, but in one other, we can be a greater "together."

    While open relationships or communes are wonderful ideas, especially when people can compartmentalise their living relationships, and when a greater sense of communal love permeates those collectives - basically, when everyone understands their own set boundaries enough not to get their feelings hurt - then yes, they can work for a time. To me, the main purpose is to love each other, to be kind and giving to each other, to help each other through this life.

    In fact, I've even seen some communes - open relationships like this - work. For awhile. Just like marriages.

    However, I will always state that a loving, monogomous relationship is the ultimate demonstration of two human beings reflecting the varied aspects of the creator God, and is the perfect example of two humans giving up a life centered around self for a life centered around a unit.

    But that's just my opinion.

    And lastly . . . LOVE - can never be overrated!

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