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What brand is your child?

Given the growing trend to define human beings as brands, it's time to consider "What brand is your child?"

As jobs become harder to find, early branding will give your offspring a competitive advantage over non-branded children.

So I ask you. What brand is YOUR child? How will you achieve your branding goals? Which brands will be most employable in the future?


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    Sep 17 2012: My child is definitely gonna be a custom made French pimp. I think there is gonna be a growing market for this and I wanna teach him early on how to handle his assets and utilize his pimp hand. I also want whats best for my child and I don't think anyone will take his pimping seriously as an all American white boy. This is why I wanna raise him in France, give him a certain degree of authenticity by making him French and sleazy.

    As for branding that's easy, I'm gonna tattoo a bar code on the back of his neck when his mother, a sailor loving bar wench, gives birth to him
    • Sep 17 2012: Hi Budimir
      Well it sounds like you have a keen understanding of globalization. It really is all about identifying growing markets and positioning your child accordingly. Ha ha ha
      Some funny stuff there. Though my wife is from France, so obviously we can't agree on everything. ;)
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        Sep 17 2012: Thank you,

        So either a pimp or a biochemist like his old man would be ideal for my child. Biochemists are essential for the pimping industry although it may not seem very obvious at first. Certain sex workers have evolved in such a way that their aids receptors have fallen off so they are for all practical purposes immune to aids, the aids virus cannot get in there. these are in pimp language very "competitive hoes" they never get sick, to make an analogy it's like having union workers with lizard like regenerative capacities. Assume a union worker severs his hand in an accident the company doesn't have to worry about that because he can regenerate his arm after a few days. So where do biochemists come in, they are needed to screen such sex workers and identify the marker for the aids receptors and work in collaboration with pimps to make wise business decisions,
        • Sep 17 2012: Ha ha ha
          Does your wisdom know no bounds!?
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      Sep 19 2012: Gotta keep dat pimp hand strong

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