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Kevin McCallum

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What brand is your child?

Given the growing trend to define human beings as brands, it's time to consider "What brand is your child?"

As jobs become harder to find, early branding will give your offspring a competitive advantage over non-branded children.

So I ask you. What brand is YOUR child? How will you achieve your branding goals? Which brands will be most employable in the future?

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    Sep 16 2012: Oh he** no. People brand cattle not children.

    Branding is the latest corporate church trend. It will go away eventually long before kids hit the workforce. Some of us have lived through this before. First it was mission. Then it was vision. The it was personal vision. When you think about it, it is all the same crap. Some corporate preacher writes a book, some yahoos attend a seminar and voila! The cattle follow.

    It is all a pathetic way of trying to find meaning in the banal meaningless sterile world of corporate enterprise. More money to buy more stuff is an inherently meaningless endeavor so this trend won't work either.

    You want to be part of the herd go ahead. Get a brand. I really do not think being part of the herd is what gets you ahead in life.

    ~IMO
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    Sep 17 2012: Wow. Branding may be a thought capable of more harm than good. Showing them the best of any "brand" they show interest in and trusting they could make the best decision based on the Love and Empathy I express in the process of learning might produce the desired effect of success we all have for our children.
    • Sep 17 2012: While there is a strong demand in the Love and Empathy markets, the supply side seems wide open for exploitation.
      Good choice.
  • Sep 17 2012: If I should have a child, I would tell her that her brand is a bird with conscience.
    No cages.
    "Do what you gotta do sweetie, but don't forget the things you are responsible for and should be aware of."
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    Sep 17 2012: My child is definitely gonna be a custom made French pimp. I think there is gonna be a growing market for this and I wanna teach him early on how to handle his assets and utilize his pimp hand. I also want whats best for my child and I don't think anyone will take his pimping seriously as an all American white boy. This is why I wanna raise him in France, give him a certain degree of authenticity by making him French and sleazy.

    As for branding that's easy, I'm gonna tattoo a bar code on the back of his neck when his mother, a sailor loving bar wench, gives birth to him
    • Sep 17 2012: Hi Budimir
      Well it sounds like you have a keen understanding of globalization. It really is all about identifying growing markets and positioning your child accordingly. Ha ha ha
      Some funny stuff there. Though my wife is from France, so obviously we can't agree on everything. ;)
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        Sep 17 2012: Thank you,

        So either a pimp or a biochemist like his old man would be ideal for my child. Biochemists are essential for the pimping industry although it may not seem very obvious at first. Certain sex workers have evolved in such a way that their aids receptors have fallen off so they are for all practical purposes immune to aids, the aids virus cannot get in there. these are in pimp language very "competitive hoes" they never get sick, to make an analogy it's like having union workers with lizard like regenerative capacities. Assume a union worker severs his hand in an accident the company doesn't have to worry about that because he can regenerate his arm after a few days. So where do biochemists come in, they are needed to screen such sex workers and identify the marker for the aids receptors and work in collaboration with pimps to make wise business decisions,
        • Sep 17 2012: Ha ha ha
          Does your wisdom know no bounds!?
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      Sep 19 2012: Gotta keep dat pimp hand strong
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    Sep 17 2012: Human Kid...Just want them to keep curious as long as possible....and then be a good adult human being

    Later, they will decide what they want to be known for in their adult life
    • Sep 17 2012: Ah yes...that extremely rare, high end brand "good adult human being"
      Let's make more room on the shelves for these ones!
      ;)
  • Sep 16 2012: The concept of children so stereotypical that they are considered brands is disturbing.

    As a parent of two adult children, I hope we provided them enough of a variety of life experiences to define themselves by the work they do, the decisions they make, the art they produce, and how they apply their knowledge to solve tomorrow's problems.

    They did sports, Scouts, music, academics, part time jobs, art, travel, family adventures, camping, tools and handicrafts, and computers-building and playing them. This was the breadth of experience we had to offer them and both my wife and I were involved at different levels in most all of the events.

    Professionally, one is a teacher and one on the way to being an engineer. However, they have gone on to add skills like welding, a web business, scuba, shooting sports, robotics, automotive repair, painting, calligraphy, and furniture restoring.

    I feel good about the breadth of things they have been exposed to and hope that the "brand' is that of responsible professional and hobby adventurer. I think perhaps this combination leads to a happy and rewarding life.

    I think thinking of "branding", either by parents or children, pigeon holes them in thought or career choice. I think the best opportunities for success are found by using multiple talents, skills, and 'likes' and seeing how they apply all these things to meet life's challenges.
    • Sep 17 2012: Hi Robert
      Well said. I enjoyed that. :)
      I too find the concept of branding disturbing, for adult humans as well as children.
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    Sep 16 2012: brand a meaning;-
    a particular identity or image regarded as an asset:
    you can still invent your own career, be your own brand
    from the oxford dictionary
    I'm not really worried about a child being introduced into thinking of themselves as a brand if you refer to this meaning of the word. But if you refer the meaning to branding as is done to cattle, or corporate identity then the meaning can be different.


    This use of the word brand has been less used as the corporate meaning takes precedence in our culture. But one of the essences of the use of the word as a noun is a type of self-realization. Have we fogotten this. Lets claim the word back from the corporate world. I rebrand the word brand.
    • Sep 16 2012: Hi Anna
      Yes the effects of pirated word meanings are incredibly powerful. I referred to this in an earlier conversation regarding the word "civics".
      I think we can do better than reclaiming the now tainted word "brand". I think we need a brand new word to define "a particular identity or image as an asset"... to his/her community.
  • Sep 17 2012: They are both: one-of-a-kind

    Boy, are people willingly brainwashed when they really believe they should "brand" their children and continue feeding the lies of fear into them, through the parents of course.

    Bar codes here you come!!
    • Sep 17 2012: Hi Random
      Fortunately, sanity reigns supreme among this little group of conversationalists!
      I checked the definition of brainwash and the word pertains to a radical change in belief. I think rather that society has been and continues to be insidiously indoctrinated to adopt corporate values. It's easy to see the danger and absurdity when we apply those values to children but it seems that it is not so clear when viewed from a strictly adult perspective.
      Yes Bar Codes are already here. They are available to corporate advertisers at your favourite social networking site or search engine. Hurry on over!! Buy yours today!!! They've got millions of em!!!! Special this week only! 50% off for all federal government customers!!
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    Sep 17 2012: I think I have a "Lad" an "Emo" and an "Over-achiever". I wouldn't have minded a "Jock" but I count myself lucky that I avoided having a "Bogan". ;-)
    • Sep 17 2012: Hi peter
      Funny stuff
      You must admit though, "Bogan brand" has a certain poetic ring to it.
      ;)
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        Sep 17 2012: Bogan is even in the dictionary now. The entry should read "If you're reading this you're not one."
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    Sep 16 2012: the only brands I can think of for kids are... well, kids. Kids are branded as kids.
    • Sep 16 2012: Hi James
      Sadly, due to an early childhood slinky accident, I can't have children. But if I did, I would strive toward "amiable slave" brand which I believe will be a highly marketable brand in the near future.
      Kids are goat brand btw. :)
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        Sep 16 2012: Amiable slave doesn't sound like a good name since the word slave itself has a ton of negative connotations that goes with the word.

        I mean unless the word slave becomes involved in a popular future internet meme, I just don't see why anyone would call their kids a "slave" of any sort and view that as a positive thing.
        • Sep 16 2012: Ha ha ha
          I'm thinking only of creating an attractive brand for future employers. I think most employers would appreciate these qualities. Upon reflection, I would like to incorporate some sort sort of "low maintenance" element into the mix but I realize that when it comes to branding, it's important to keep it simple. ;)
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    Sep 16 2012: My son says his brand is his name. He will achieve his branding goals by actiing normal and hiding any suspicions he is an alien. My son thinks in the future nobody knows what brands will be employable because nobody knows the future. 11
    • Sep 16 2012: Yes alien brands are to be avoided!
      :)
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        . . 100+

        • +1
        Sep 17 2012: Aliens who drop by the Earth get great jobs :-) E.T. for example.........
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      Sep 17 2012: yes!i totally agree with your son.our brand is our name.WHYyou have a differernt name ,in my opinion,it is just a sign different from other.so we should do something responsible .right .kind.then when someone montions us .they woulld think yeh,that is a gay.a good person!
      • Sep 17 2012: Hi chen
        "brand GOOD"
        hmmmm...not bad!
        :)
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          Sep 17 2012: i did't catch what you said
      • Sep 17 2012: Hi chen
        I mean, I like what you said. :)
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    Sep 16 2012: Well one wants to be a fashion designer the other wants to be an astronomer or architect,the oldest wants the one ring to rule them all but at the moment they're Kardashians,poor kids.
    • Sep 16 2012: Ha ha ha
      No one said branding would be easy!
      ;)
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    Sep 16 2012: I do not and will not think of my children as a brand.I am curious as to whether you will find any actual parent who adopts that mind-set.
    • Sep 16 2012: I'm glad to hear it. It's sad enough that adults are attempting to brand themselves. It is truly insane.
      Let's hope that those disciples of branding will question their own behaviour after applying such absurdities to their children.