TED Conversations

Thomas Hawkins

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When does a conversation become worth while?

I want to know when a conversation is worth while? Is every conversation worth having? Are we just venting or gaining something? Perhaps a little of both, but are they both just as important?


Closing Statement from Thomas Hawkins

It seems for the most part that the majority of people determine the worth of a conversation by satisfying selfish and/or mutual group needs. A follow up question would be, do we think about satisfying these needs before entering a conversation? I don’t think that we do on a social playing field, gossip, etc; therefore, it is fair to say that for the majority not all conversations are worth having. Worth while conversations are those where we are able satisfy/solve our needs/questions. Therefore, this must require some premeditative thought, to an extent, depending on severity and consciousness of the individual’s needs and desires of the future conversation.

Although, I’d like to propose and entertain the idea that "all" conversations are worth while regardless of what novel you have written in your conversational speech. The answer lies in the opportunity. This latest conversational masterpiece and/or self-published disaster came into existence through an opportunity to have a conversation. Rather than looking at the end product, maybe we should think about the worth in the opportunity of invention and discovery. I am not denying that some conversations are more worth while than others, some are mundane and draining, good and bad, but I’d like to throw a stick in the spokes and stop the bike of “reward thinking”. It is worth while to debate, question and be curious toward even the most “unworthy” topics of choice. We may not even satisfy our own needs, but be there for another to talk with. A shoulder to cry on, if you will.

Is it possible to find reward without having won a race? Yes...

ps. Just a little note of thanks. Thank you for all your comments, really interesting points of view. I also must say sorry for being on the "down low" as of late. Busy days. All the best

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  • Sep 17 2012: When both parties are engrossed in what they're talking about--when no one is alone in the talk.
    When I realize that the person I talk to is neither flattering nor criticizing me.
    When the conversation is memorable enough for you to remind you to keep in touch with him again.
    When the person you have comversation with doesn't rebuke you.--I have to confess I wasn't really obedient to my parents.I was a bit stubborn anyway. So, when I was a kid, Mom would scold me for many things. Mom said that we should talk, but I always knew that it was going to be a one-way talk, "You listen to me." lol
    • Comment deleted

      • Sep 19 2012: I'm flattered, thank you, Don :)
        Yes, she is, being ill, unfortunately. But I have to admit, despite the fact that she’s weak and fragile, her love is so strong. When she was young, she gave up her dreams and college degrees just to raise me and my siblings. I guess that was one of her ways to love me. I owe her.
        I couldn’t understand the things she tried to teach me when I was a kid.
        “Different culture, special ways of emotional loving!” You’re right.
        Even though technically, Mom and I haven't had any memorable conversations so far, I’ve learned so many things from her. She taught me in many ways, especially through her good deeds and dedication. "More than Words" indeed...I am so grateful that I have such a good mother.
        (I enjoyed the song, btw. It was real. Thanks :D )
        When I listen to this song, I can’t help thinking about Mom. Want to share it with you

        Send my love to you,

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