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Yash Akhauri

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I am very depressed... i need your help. (I understand this is not the right place to ask such questions but please?)

Hello, this may not be the right place to ask such questions, but i could not stop myself... (I am 14 years old)
I have an IQ of 124, that is from an online IQ site. So it is inaccurate for sure... Almost every friend i ever had in the last 1 year calls me a genius or a very smart person. I understand that they may be correct, but 1 year before, no-one even called me smart. I was just an average student.
I love physics. It is basically my life. I am starting calculus and advanced physics right now, and for my personal project for pre-IB, i am going to write a book, on advanced physics.
The title is Antimatter: does it really matter?

I just realised that i am not smart enough. I am a dumb good for nothing show-off... i got this idea after researching about the greatest scientists and their childhood accomplishments, which i believe are amazing. I feel like a retard. Even though i have done Youngs double slit experiment, and understood all the concepts included such as wave particle duality and the wave particle basic equations on my own, i still feel like i am not good enough to be a scientist. Even though i love science, i fear failure. I want to be successful at what i do, not just happy with my life, but actually "good" at what i do...

This has been bothering me for days. I mean, i am not a freak genius or savant like genius people. I am just an above average show-off retard... I am not sure if i should pursue my career as a physicist or just choose electrical engineering and have an ordinary life with no pertinent need for me to exist. (I believe i can easily do electrical engineering from a reputed university :|....)

This bothers me more than anything. I am really sad and i cannot concentrate in physics. Minor failures like failing to understand basic calculus (Derivatives etc.) discourages me and i feel like good for nothing...

I really need some help from someone, who can guide me. Please help me. :(
Thank you for your time and kind consideration. :)

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    Aug 25 2012: I think you shouldn't strive to be somebody you're not. We all have heroes sure, a few of my favorite ones are Einstein, Michio Kaku, and Stephen Hawking, but I realize I could never be like them because I don't "love" physics as much as they do. However, there are some things that I can do way better than those guys too. For example, Stephen Hawking's communication skills are pretty god-awful, even a child can communicate better than he can, no offense to him lol.

    As far as I know, your name is Yash Akhauri, and there's only one you. There are things that I can do that you simply cannot do, but there are plenty of things that you can do that I can't do too.

    As a fourteen-year-old, you probably shouldn't be so focused on a few things in your life, you're still incredibly young. Do you REALLY love science so much that you want to commit your entire life to it? Have you considered supporting a family too? Or what about trying to find a sustainable income through the profession of science? If you hesitated even once, then you should re-evaluate what you really want to do, and go off exploring yourself.

    From what I can tell you at the very least, are highly interested in physics. How about these fields: physics in art and animation? Physics in human anatomy? Physics in games and computer simulations? Physics in sports and sports analysis? These are just a few fields that may interest you a lot.

    Also, I think you're an incredibly smart kid. I did not take Calculus until I was like 17 in High school, so you're 3 years ahead me. Last time I was tested on my IQ I was like 124-126. I was also one of those kids who thought math was an easy thing and it just came naturally because I understood the logic much deeper. But my other subjects like History, English, and Biology kinda stank and I was slower at it. And I didn't figure out what I want to do until this summer, because I was able to answer the same questions with confidence.
    • Aug 25 2012: Thank you, i believe you are correct, and all of your statements are valid, and i believe i can trust your statements. I really am not sure you know, i seek fame and science. I feel like an idiot when i say that, but that is indeed true. That is why i am confused.

      But that is not a very big problem.
      The bigger problem is - Family.
      I feel mutual responsibilities are one of the most vital and respected things to obey, and if i fail, i would be a complete failure, being horrible at both. That is just 1 primary reason for my hesitation. If i had a choice to never fall in love, which i cannot as i am human, then i would not even think about anything else and dive into the world of physics :P.
      Thank you :)
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        Aug 25 2012: I mean, there's nothing to be ashamed about in fame and recognition, we all want bragging rights for something in our expertise :)

        In fact, I think a lot of scientists are driven by fame too, but it can get a little nasty when it comes to intellectual property and such.

        The geniuses in the world never stop trying because they are incredibly passionate in what they do.

        Also, don't be afraid of failure, you should welcome it. There is nothing to fear except fear itself. The actual experience of failure is not really that bad. Failure is one of the greatest teachers out there too along with curiosity. Failure helps you prevent the next failure, where the consequences are much more severe. So really, make as many mistakes as possible now lol as long as you obtain something valuable from them.
        • Aug 25 2012: Thank you... :)
          I just want to ask one more question, if i may...
          For my book on Antimatter, i have made 2 covers, i will choose one of them. I cannot afford to get a graphic designer, and i am pretty good at photoshop, so i just made a cover... My english is not perfect. I am writing a book for undergraduate students for my project, more like for Grade 12 also. So i believe that for such books i do not need language, i need facts and information. Which i believe i possess. Your help would be nothing but appreciated. Please look at the 2 covers and choose the one which is more elegant and convincing. Thank you
          Link: - http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.196286790502020.46716.100003621016597&type=1

          Ignore the first image, that i just a list of books i will buy for reference... Thank you :) I really appreciate it :)
          (I copy pasted it, hope it does not bother you :))
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        Aug 26 2012: Well if you wanna sell a book, you would need to know a little bit about marketing or get help from someone who knows a lot about marketing. Who's your targeted audience? How many people would want to read this book in the first place? How are you going to get people to read this book?

        I mean, your attitude is not gonna be like "Hey guys, check this book out, please!" Your attitude would need to be like, "If you read this book, it will change your life forever" Or else who the heck would want to read something they don't need/want to know about?

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