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pratham parekh

Master - Student, Central University of Gujarat

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Why humans feel insulted ?

being humans we often feel offended, abused or insulted , why we are feel so ? is it something natural which we inherit or is it something we develop ?

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    Gail . 50+

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    Aug 17 2012: Only the insecure feel offended, abused, or insulted. We do so because we have been taught that we are vulnerable. This belief in one's vulnerability does not reflect fact. It reflects belief. Change the belief and the reflection will change. I know. I've done it and seen it.
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    Aug 17 2012: I think we cant say exactly when/why a person feels insulted.It all depends upon the person attitude of behaviour.

    If a person is generous enough,he wont feel insulted when a person doesnt accept his/her generousity.

    If a person is egoist,he often feels offended/insulted when people dont go by his statements/purposes.

    So, all i think is it completely depends upon the attitude of a person about how he takes the internal/external environment according to his protocols.
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      Aug 17 2012: I agree Chetan, attitude and perception of person is of-course related to his/her feeling about insult but thinking further on this, i got confused with question are insults socially framed or personally framed ?
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    Aug 16 2012: Colleen, me too! You have to challenge the thinking behind the emotion of 'being insulted'. No-one can insult you if you choose to see what they say in a different way. Equally you can be insulted by every little thing that does not conform exactly to your world view. Basically to be or not to be insulted is up to you!
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      Aug 16 2012: I totally agree Lesley...so well said!
      It does indeed depend a LOT on how we choose to use the information, and I think MANY times, what people choose to be insulted by is exactly what you say...something does not conform to their world view or expectations. Yes, it is a choice:>)
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    Aug 16 2012: ego,
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    Aug 17 2012: I think it is strickly inherited a baby has never insulted me... ever... Its usually taught through the actions and thoughts of the parents we are a reflection of the world we live in...
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      Aug 18 2012: Jeremy,
      Are you suggesting that the act of intentionally insulting is taught? I believe that to be true in some cases.

      The question is..."Why humans feel insulted ?being humans we often feel offended, abused or insulted , why we are feel so ? is it something natural which we inherit or is it something we develop ?"

      So, do you also think/feel it is possible to learn to feel insulted? I also agree with this idea.
      I'm just trying to clarify and understand your comment.....thanks:>)
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        Aug 18 2012: Absolutely we are a reflection of the world we live in... this is really going to mess with you but do you think insults started with a person in front of you today or when communication between two organisms started??? Then you could also perceive insullt as a collective reaction to the enviroment we live in... Does that make sense?? I believe it is both a reaction to the enviroment and inherited as well
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          Aug 19 2012: Jeremy,
          I believe we are a reflection of the world in which we live, and we have many ways to act/react in our world.....there are choices....in my humble perception.

          Why do you think an idea that you have will "mess" with me? The topic question is... "Why humans feel insulted ?" I interpret the question to be about humans, rather than some other "two organisms".

          YOU can perceive "insult as a "collective reaction to the environment we live in" if you choose. I believe that as humans we have choices. No, what you are saying does not make sense....thanks for asking:>)

          I agree with you that insult can be a reaction to the enviroment, as we perceive our individual environment, and it can also be a learned behavior/belief. Make any sense?
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        Aug 19 2012: So insult is perception then??? Could we agree on that??
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          Aug 19 2012: Yes, I agree...to feel insulted, requires a certain perception.
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        Aug 19 2012: And where does that perception come from?? Could it be that we are a collection of all our choices up until this point that all people are?? Then you could conclude that people are insulted because the enviroment in which they exist... Insult is a learned behavior therefore it is without a doubt both a inherited characteristic parent to child over generations as well as enviromental ie kids at school having strong beliefs that differ on the same subject... insult could be the reaction to another person's percecption that does not match our own when one organism's perception did not match anothers then insult was born passed over into humanity or through a apple if your a christian then down and down and down into humanity then down and down again through generations and generations until finally it reached you or me and the people around us now then since its a learned behavior we could chose whether to believe it or not
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          Aug 19 2012: Jeremy,
          I believe our perceptions are influenced by our environment, or society, as you have suggested, by our parents, and learned, as you have suggested, by information we have taken in as humans and use in our thought/feeling process.

          That being said, as thinking, feeling adults, we have choices regarding how we use the information......yes?

          EDIT
          WOW!!! You certainly edited that post pretty drastically!!!

          No, I do not conclude that people are insulted because of the the environment in which they exist. I believe that as thinking, feeling adults, we have choices.

          No, I do not agree that insult was passed on to humans by way of an apple, nor do I believe the concept of "insult" has anything to do with being a christian.

          I do agree with you that we can choose to feel insulted or not:>)
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        Aug 19 2012: I think to make a choice you first have to understand it...Or at least understand choice..
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        Aug 19 2012: I'm a pure existentialist which really shows in this debate. What I found very interesting was that just to question insult brings into light insult itself... rather interesting
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          Aug 19 2012: Questioning anything, my friend, brings it to light, and that is how we learn, grow, evolve, and get to "know" ourselves.....thereby giving us a better opportunity to know each other as well. We are all connected, and much more the same than different....in my humble perception:>)
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    Aug 17 2012: First as I have often said .. No one can make you feel bad without your permission. Perhaps the need for acceptance is a big factor in feeling insulted. The perception that you have been rejected at some level and not allowed to join causes this "pain".

    Our parents, family, and support groups see us differently than a new group or strangers. We may be a big fish in a little pond and then we move on and find out that we really are not all that we were led to believe by those who supported us. We might be the best player at our high school but when we move to college we cannot even make the team. That is a hugh let down and a shock to your ego. You may feel insulted and blame others for your failure to make the team, but at some point you will come to realize that the decision they made to cut you was correct. The problems come when people continue to dwell on the "failure" and not move on.

    All the best. Bob.
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    Aug 17 2012: Miscommunication between one humanss mouth and another ones ears
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      Aug 17 2012: i disagree with you Jeremy, Miscommunication is not always an indicator of insult
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        Aug 17 2012: What if someone miscommunicated a idea or subject not today but farther back in time to you like they said the only good people in the world wear blue shirts soo your idea or belief was that blue shirts are good people and then you see a red shirted person and well you say hey red shirts arent normal to that person would you believe they may feel insulted?? This is just one example there are a infinite number of possible miscommunications and a infinite number more of possible situations sooo yeah i think miscommunication hjas a lot to do with insult. A lack of knowledge or understanding leads to a insult. The miscommunication between our enviroment (that is the people places and thing's) and all the sensory organs of our body as well as our body is what i should of said lol...
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          Aug 18 2012: Jeremy,
          I believe miscommunication can be part of insult. One has to interpret the communication in a certain way to feel insulted.....yes?

          To use your idea of red shirted/blue shirted person...
          What if the red shirted person was perfectly content, confident and comfortable with the red shirt? Do you think it would matter as much what anyone said about it?

          You say, which I agree with..."a lack of knowledge or understanding leads to a insult".
          If the person "KNOWS" the red shirt is ok, and "UNDERSTANDS" that the other person is simply stating his/her personal preference, perhaps that red shirted person does not "CHOOSE" to be insulted?
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    Aug 16 2012: No one likes to be wrong, especially on issues that they have a ton of knowledge in. But those "I told you so" moments are pretty satisfying every now and then ;)
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      Aug 17 2012: James, does it mean that insults are results of dissatisfaction ?
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        Aug 17 2012: Not necessarily, well maybe... I think insults just have more to do with pride/dignity, and accidental insults can be caused by misunderstandings.
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    Aug 16 2012: Two factors that contribute to how insulted one feels are pride and misunderstanding. It is, indeed, interesting at the variation among people in how readily they feel insulted, even when no insult was meant.
    Part of this phenomenon is surely learned. That is, I believe some people may learn to interpret disagreement with them as a form of attack, while others who mature in a different milieu interpret disagreement as natural among independent-minded people whose different observations and experiences give them different perspectives.
    Along the same lines, some people are insulted when people ask them clarifying questions.
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      Aug 16 2012: do you mean that, when people fails to prove themselves right, they feel insulted ?
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        Aug 16 2012: That was not my meaning, but if it is yours, please share your thinking.
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          Aug 16 2012: after reading your words, I got thought that,as humans we tend to create self image and anything against that self image can be termed as insult, I don't know whether I am right or wrong
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        Aug 16 2012: I believe there is some truth in what you wrote, particularly as our self-images are influenced by others.
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          Aug 16 2012: Fritzie,
          If we depend on others for self image, wouldn't there be more possibility to be influenced/insulted?

          I agree with most of what has been offered...ego...pride...misunderstanding...need to be "right"...

          I believe that people who are more secure in themselves and their own self image, tend to accept different observations and perspectives as natural among independent-minded people. When we are secure in ourselves, we can evaluate what others are telling us, and do not need to choose to feel insulted.....yes? no? maybe?
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          Aug 17 2012: Colleen,
          I agree with you last paragraph.
          It completely depends on the perspective of a person about how he views the external environment.
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          Aug 18 2012: Chetan,
          Yes.......It completely depends on the perspective of a person about how s/he views the external. environment...........and.............maybe the internal environment as well?
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        Aug 16 2012: Colleen, I agree with you.
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          Aug 17 2012: Thanks Fritzie,
          That's how I function, and it's always worked pretty well for me. I don't need to feel "insulted" by someone else's perceptions. I consider the information and move on. Feeling "insulted" uses up too much energy that can be used more productively....in my humble opinion:>)
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          Aug 17 2012: Colleen,
          I have gone through several comments on different topics of yours and in most of the comments you have stated the facts,behaviour,protocols that you have practised in your course of life.
          Its rally inspiring and challenging since it really needs the zeal to set up the standards for a particular protocol that you want to adhere to in your course of life.
          How do you do it..??
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          Aug 18 2012: Dear Chetan,
          I always appreciate your feedback, and I LOVE to observe your exploration of the life experience.

          To answer your question:
          I have certain underlying very basic beliefs, which you have probably seen here on TED many times...

          Life is an exploration.....about learning, growing, evolving....living in the present moment....what we focus on expands.....where attention goes, energy flows....if I'm not part of the solution, I'm part of the problem....

          These are some of the ideas that are firmly implanted in my mind and heart, and everything filters through these very basic ideas. I live life mindfully aware in each and every moment with the intent to leave the earth a little better, even if only in the tiny space I occupy. I am at the same time, the observer as well as passionate participant in the life experience. Make any sense?

          I am happy to expand, elaborate and discuss more if you wish:>)

          I promise not to be insulted if you ask.......LOL:>) Have to keep us on topic:>)