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why most of the people don't know to distinguish between fake & real friends?

in life there are people who really care about us & people who wanna use us just to finish a job. most of us always fall for the later ones. but in the end, its these real friends, who were hurt by us, but care about us even after, stay on our side.

how to find these kinda caring people in our life as early as possible??

all suggestions are welcomed


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    Aug 15 2012: We can know our real friends if we really want to know. There are people who are enthusiasic about our success, people who have our interests at heart, people who go the extra mile when others think their comfort is too much to sacrifice.
    Unfortunately, those people who are sincerely caring are not usually afraid to tell us the truth. And sometimes the truth hurts.

    Those who pretend that we are perfect and can never go wrong or do wrong, are the ones I'd call fake friends.

    Those who love us despite our imperfections and despite their awareness of such; and who do not present themselves as indispensible, are our true friends.
    • Aug 16 2012: but they are hard to id. sometimes a lie presents itself more pleasently than a truth
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        Aug 16 2012: If a "lie presents itself more pleasently than a truth", as you say, perhaps it is something that you are seeking, even if it is a lie.

        That's when it's important to "know thyself":>) What are we seeking? Why does a person feel they need to lie to us? Why do we want to spend time with someone who lies to us?
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          Aug 16 2012: @your other message

          Not specifically, but I guess that was sorta implied. I mean some truths can hurt very deeply, while at the same time, some lies can hurt equally as much, depending on how you interpret those messages. But whether the other person used truth/lie, the underlying message is still the same, truths and lies are simply another language to try to understand.
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        Aug 16 2012: Perhaps a truth won't hurt as bad, if they weren't built up from lies. Or perhaps truths and lies are simply communication tools to convey one's message, and it is the message itself that does the harm, not the truths/lies. Once the receiving end comprehends the real message, it can either be harmful or comforting.
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          Aug 16 2012: Dear James,
          Are you saying that truth/lie may be the same message, and it is our interpretation of the message that determines how we use the information?
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          Aug 16 2012: Good points James,
          Re: Your last two comments.
          There are certainly blatant lies, which can be flushed out pretty easily. Then, there is lots of information that sometimes, because of our perceptions and expectations, we judge to be "truth" or "lie". So, I agree with you:>)

          Also agree with what you wrote in another comment on this thread...not trusting can be lonely.

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