TED Conversations

Derek Young

Thinker and Experimenter,

TEDCRED 30+

This conversation is closed. Start a new conversation
or join one »

Can forgiveness be excercised by everyone?

Most of us has been told or heard of "forgive and forget".

We know in some religion that wrongs are known as "sins", and sins can always be "repented", as dictated by some religious scriptures. Some religions perform repentances in places known as "confessions" or "confessional booths".

It is hard to believe that a mistake can so easily be relinquished if you just tell someone.

I think to fix an error, one must take action in a positive way.

On TV, there are always some new way of an individual or small group taking radical action to greatly affect many lives in a negative way.

They seem to have copy-cats as well after it has aired on national television, which seems a bit counter-productive.

Let's say that the individual or group wants to redeem themselves, but their actions were far from a petty crime, like the batman shooter in colorado.

In some religions, they say to love everyone, including your enemies or someone like the batman shooter.

Can someone who did something so radical be forgiven or redeem themselves from their actions?

It is a bit hard to believe that every mistake can be righted.

Can forgiveness be excercised by everyone, or is it only used by someone not involved in an incident so traumatizing?

Should those people and families involved have a right to take radical action toward these radical individuals'?

These crimes are neither petty nor of national proportions like WWII, but those inbetween situations.

It seems hard to be happy, and find compassion to forgive after being victims in these events.

Is there wisdom in those religious scriptures, or are we fooling ourselves?

Not sure where I was headed with this question, but I am a bit criticizing of how over-played the news can be on such serious events.

Like there was no need to get the family of the batman shooter involved with his actions. Really sad how the media hypes things up.

Related Talks:
+1
Share:

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.

  • christopher mark

    • +4
    Aug 20 2012: The counsel to forgive is primarily for your benefit, not the perpetrator's. Rather than letting the offender 'off the hook', by forgiving you refuse to be 'sucked in' to the downward spiral of blame, hatred, vengeance, recrimination and psychosis. However, that is not enough; standing on the edge of the abyss still has serious dangers and consequences. The 'Dark Knight's pull still has its own hook, line and sinker. Therefore, forgiveness is not one-off in such cases; it has to be ongoing until examination can commence from stillness, i.e., objectively. No one has said anything about forgetting. Plasters (bandaids) that help to heal cuts are insufficient for savage wounds inflicted by terrorists. What might put out a small fire does not quench a holocaust. How long is 'ongoing'? The example of Nelson Mandela is a worthy one - 27 years. What is the effect? The reversal of the downward spiral or, better put, the vortex of mutual blame; it is the reversal of collective psychosis. With Gordon Wilson it was more like 27 minutes, or perhaps, as some say, it was instant. When a bomb at Enniskillen, Northern Ireland, took 11 lives, one of whom was a 20 year old nurse, his daughter, and IRA took the credit; he called for forgiveness rather than retaliation (as was the knee jerk reaction in those days). He looked to heal the community rather than avenge his daughter's death. Stillness settled in. Everyone took a good, long, hard look at themselves individually and collectively. Some in leadership experienced a turning point, a tipping point. Many maintain this was the beginning of the peace process in Northern Ireland, for even though fighting ensued for a time, from this point it had lost its political clout, it was dispirited. Forgiveness is not for sissies. It is transformative. It is about a new creation.
    • thumb

      Debra Smith 200+

      • +3
      Aug 20 2012: Forgiveness takes a sort of emotional courage that is not seen often enough. It is also a work in progress for most people.
      • thumb

        Derek Young 30+

        • +1
        Aug 20 2012: I actually feel it is a rare occurence without the presence of other forgiving people around. I find it is something of a mob mentality. Without one with courage, it seems no one attempts forgiveness or other social things, at least in my experiences. I especially despise others being picked on and usually no one does anything about it and they would hope the victim would stick up for themselves, but too bad that doesn't usually play out. =/
        • thumb

          Debra Smith 200+

          • 0
          Aug 20 2012: I just want you to know that you never really know when you make a difference and it is key for those behaviours to continue and they do shape the world. YOU stood up for me once and it made all the difference to me as a human being. I probably would have left TED and I do routinely speak up for others here. So, if you care for me, I can continue to care for others. I do not expect more of you -just more of myself. I should have said thanks. It did mean the world to me so be encouraged. Others notice. Others can go on when you help out.
        • thumb

          Debra Smith 200+

          • 0
          Aug 24 2012: @ Laura- Wow! You make me believe that a better world is nearer than I realized. You are a great MOM.

        • christopher mark

          • 0
          Aug 25 2012: Laura: Several hours after the shredding, or perhaps after several days, did you ask the children if they noticed anything different; had anything changed? They must be honest. If not, say so. But then keep asking, gently, weeks, months, even a year or two later. In your own forgiveness story what transformed? I'm of the belief that of course, (subtly or dramatically, it depends...), after forgiveness the world in not the same. Getting a handle on this turns an exercise into a habit, interior work into exterior evidence; a forgiving person is a world apart from one unpracticed in forgiveness.

          Derek: Debra's right, thoughts are energy. When mixed with intentionality or will, they acquire substance, even form (this applies to both good and bad thoughts). Training the will for the service of others gives good thoughts, especially those coming from stillness, a special 'place'. With practice both the bully and the victim can be brushed into sobriety by your stillness.

      • christopher mark

        • +2
        Aug 21 2012: Some say athletes are made not born. Even if they are born (of course they are), they must train assiduously to reach their full potential.

        • Laura Woods

          • +2
          Aug 24 2012: Agreed. All the talk about forgiveness is good, but how 'bout actual practice? like an athlete? I speak to kids about my own forgiveness story and then pass out 3x5 index cards & pencils, they write down what they would like to be forgiven or something they forgive someone else. Then the kids put the cards thru a paper shredder. Done. Forgiveness given and/or received. A visual, an exercise, an example for a mental exercise of the heart...
      • thumb

        Derek Young 30+

        • +1
        Aug 21 2012: Dang it Debra, I have reached my max of thumbs up for you this week!!! =(

        That was very inspiring Debra. Thank you. I continue to help those who collaborates with the world, not the ones who snip at its edges. I feel I have seen to much crap flung around in my life to allow it to happen to others around me, but I will still continue to dig at unclear information. Just a habit, not a malicious trait of mine. =)

        Glad to spread the love and love is possibly what the world needs now most of all in this era.

        Hope to read more comments from you again! =)

Showing single comment thread. View the full conversation.