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Does the violence men perpetrate against women indicate that men fear women?

The rage and hatred which perpetrates violence nearly always has a denied fear behind it. Denied fear of other easily converts into blaming rage at the other, which if the fear is strong enough may drive the rage into violent behavior. Is this the case concerning man's violence toward women?


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  • Aug 6 2012: I think it may do because men have always been the "dominant male" and this has been carrying on throughout history and that woman are the "lesser species". But I think that the violence that men perpetrate against women is because they want to show that they have the power and they threaten anyone who denies it or goes against it, so if they go to all that trouble to prevent the opposite sex dominating them. Then surely they're afraid of change in this case, woman.
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      Aug 6 2012: Hi Lily.....good point, which John brings up in another part of this comment thread...

      John Allyn
      15 hours ago: "Do you feel that the majority of us fear the consequences of being dominated by another person or group of persons?"

      I would not say that it is a "majority of us", but I do feel that part of the underlying fear which motivates abuse, is fear of being dominated. The conscious, or unconscious thought might be....I will dominate that person before that person dominates me. Or....I will keep that person in his/her place so s/he cannot dominate me.
    • Aug 6 2012: Lily, I think that for a women to understand the terror a man has of a woman's domination of them the woman must understand men's experience with their mothers before, during and after birth. If you begin to be privy to this aspect of men's experiences you will better understand the fear and terror he holds which drives him to dominate or avoid relationship with women all together.

      This is a big issue. One which has too much emotional charge upon it at his point to get far in a discussion, especially when it must all be keyboarded.
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        Aug 6 2012: Maybe we CAN get further into the discussion John. Lily has already stated that she is a "kid", so perhaps we can keep the "emotional charge" low for the benefit of all participants?

        You speak about this challenge as if every single man and every woman are impacted in the same way. Is that what you are suggesting? I do not believe all people are impacted in the same way. There are plenty of men and women in our world who have successful, loving relationships....would you agree?
        • Aug 7 2012: Now that I have more insight into the fear men have of women and the power a women has in her emotional body to manipulate a mans feelings, I see a lot more guilt than love.

          Love is to use one of those very slippery words which mean something different for each person. Before i begin a conversation on the topic of love I state what my definition is and ask the same from the other person.

          For me Love is self acceptance With acdeptance of oneself one can accept others for who they are and then associate or not depending upon the feelings involved.

          This leads to the need to then define self. Freud made the word ego (self) a household term. Yet he never arrived at the place where he made a distinction between self and self image. Thus at this point in our development we have very little appreciation for how much control our own imagination has over who we think we are.. Mother understand this at a gut level better than men because she watches the children, immersed in imagination much of the time, as they develop int0o adults who do not realize that they are imagining most of the time..

          What I have not seen yet is consciousness of how the imagination creates ones self image. Thus self image is an imagination tainted image of who one is, not who one is. Who we are is consciousness in a sensual feeling body. The image in healthy person is kinesthetic.

          (Also called: muscle sense the sensation by which bodily position, weight, muscle tension, and movement are perceived).

          Because people have not yet learned to distinguish between self and their imagination generated self image they will fight to the death sometime to defend the imagined self. Defending the self image is the majority oft the conflict we see.

          So the issue of speaking of love between persons is difficult for me because self acceptance is not what is actually being talked about. Emotional denial in relationships usually results in guilt ridden behavior being called love. Guilt is not self acceptance.
        • Aug 7 2012: Emotions have a lot to teach us if we listen. The administration of this has tremendous fear around the conversation which I have initiate. Three of which they have removed from the venue available to persons on this site. Here is the latest one they have removed, see if you can understand what the reason is for calling it offensive.

          TED Conversation Removal

          Dear John Allyn,

          The following conversation on TED.com has been removed, as the discussion was offensive and not appropriate for TED Conversations.

          TED Conversations Admin

          Title: What is the Basis of the Gender Gap
          Conversation: There is a tremendous emotional charge between men and women which needs understanding and resolution for evolution to progress.

          This is very similar to the objective and subjective finding resolution with in each individual.

          Where as individuals we have not resolved our own conflicts between our male objective and female subjective it is reflected to us as the Gender Gap.

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