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Nicole Kotila

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If parents showed more of themselves, would kids develop better, healthier coping skills?

I have been trying to determine a cause to why so many children, teens and young adults take to self-injury, drugs, sex, or eating disorders.
I believe that if their parents opened up more about their struggles, and their ways to deal with the stress of life, their children would be better equipped to find safer ways to cope with life.

So, if you are a parent, do you think that letting your children see you as less than perfect is something you could do? Knowing that by watching you struggle and fight to be better, that they would be better for it?

And kids, do you think that some of our coping skills are learned from our parents? If things changed, do you think it would help us?

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  • Jul 31 2012: As for the question, I don't think that parents secrecy has anything to do with their children addictions. For personal experience I can tell that good parents (good as in communicative) can also have addicted children. And those parents who actually only whine about their problems, might also cause damaged children.

    I think that you're trying to say that "most people addictions are because they seek perfection, because their parents taught them to be perfect" And I just don't think that's the situation. That might be an excuse thou... The real reasons I would point out is that people are just bored, and when trying to feel better they begin something they can't stop... Or that they have a really damaged life, maybe with terrible parents (not because they don't speak about themselves, but because they are actually TERRIBLE) and they try to get rid of their lives... I can't imagine how can someone begin an addiction only because they feel stressed about seeking perfection, that's actually contradictory... Only steroids and the like, when athletes want to improve, but that might be a whole other discussion

    Nonetheless, parents do have to talk about their problems. Not to avoid addictions, but to help their relationships with their children, and, well, to make this a better society... The only way of improving, is to base our knowledge on our elder's, and if our parents had the same problems as us, they might have some wise words to say...

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