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Nicole Kotila

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If parents showed more of themselves, would kids develop better, healthier coping skills?

I have been trying to determine a cause to why so many children, teens and young adults take to self-injury, drugs, sex, or eating disorders.
I believe that if their parents opened up more about their struggles, and their ways to deal with the stress of life, their children would be better equipped to find safer ways to cope with life.

So, if you are a parent, do you think that letting your children see you as less than perfect is something you could do? Knowing that by watching you struggle and fight to be better, that they would be better for it?

And kids, do you think that some of our coping skills are learned from our parents? If things changed, do you think it would help us?

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    Jul 31 2012: I'll actually take this conversation in a bit of a tangential direction...

    Have you actually worked on your problems, and gotten through them in a healthy manner?

    No? Well then stop cranking out babies you idiot.

    I think the biggest problem we face in modern American society, is that most adults haven't actually risen above drug addiction, alcoholism, obesity, prescription drugs, but they want to have a whole bunch of condom free sex anyway, and then they don't want to get abortions.

    If you're not living a relatively happy and productive life... Then you have absolutely nothing to teach a child, and don't have one. This used to be absolute common sense enforced by a threatening and dangerous environment, now it doesn't even seem to be a polite suggestion.

    If you have actually risen above the problems of your childhood, then, by all means be honest with your child. If you have struggles and problems in your life, but you still overcome them, share that. If you had drug problems, or self image problems, etc... share it... but only if you actually have knowledge to share, only if you actually overcame the big problems.

    If you're still single, or depressed, or jobless, or you need a few beers to fall asleep every night... What the hell are you doing with a child? Who let you have that thing? Did it run away? Well... Don't have another one... and, get your s*** together.
    • Jul 31 2012: But then again, I believe that must parents have those kind of problems and worse... And since they already have children, what to do with them? Chances are that they will grow up just like their parents, or being haters of them... None of those can really lead to something better.
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        Aug 3 2012: To those parents I would quote Joe Rogan

        "This is the beginning of your movie b***es... You ruined your relationship, your kid doesn't like you, you have no job, you're out of shape... Well, isn't that how almost every great movie starts? You are not the choices you have made in the past, this is you today... What are you gonna do about it? How are you gonna get to your happy ending?"

        More importantly to me than what you're honest with children about, is what you teach them through example.

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