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Dyed All Hues

Thinker and Experimenter,


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Is being in an open relationship, in an intimate relationship, practicing open mindedness? How?

I have talked to some people in the past and they tell me that being in an open relationship is the ultimate form of open mindedness if you want your spouse or partner to be happy.

I personally don't understand how that is actually being open minded, but just a personal preference, though I think an open relationship is troublesome in the long run.

Isn't being in an open relationship another way of saying "I like you right now, but if someone else that is better than you comes by, then being in an open relationship allows me to pursue both of you or dump you for the other person"?


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    Jul 22 2012: I find that as I become more intimate, I also become more vulnerable and dependent. I allow myself to "need" the other person, and at times my need may even become "neediness." Also, as I draw closer to the beloved, the more I am invited to deal with my and her frustrated expectations and shortcomings. In other words, I have to deal with my stuff. Hopefully, because of commitment and grace, the relationship is a place where there is freedom to make mistakes and grow. That "safety" allows for an increased capacity for still more love and intimacy. Bottom line: deeper levels of love require deeper levels of trust. We are just too fragile as human beings, I think, to love deeply someone who may leave us as part of a romantic or sexual experimentation with others.

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