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sujan shakya

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What happens to you if your most precious and favourate thing is claimed by others?

......comment please if you have faced some same incidents.......

Topics: happiness
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    Jul 16 2012: When you are stripped naked of the thing or things you value most highly, you are only left with your basic values, some energy (maybe not even what you had befor)e and the desire to be restored. You work and you focus as you are able. You crawl until you can stand. You stand until you can move one foot forward and then you try until you can walk. You are grateful for every small kindness and you are sensitive to unkindness toward others because you are fearful it will come your way next and you are no longer sure you can deflect it. You endure. You try. You hope, You cry. You vomit and try some more. And if you are very very fortunate you find some good souls to help you along your way and you improve. Maybe slowly but you improve.
    I have lost many people in the course of my life but losing myself due to strokes in my brain was the most devastating loss of all. I always went on when I was berieved but going on without myself to pull me up by the bootstraps was hard. But the more I did it, the more I felt as though I were myself. This is transparent and even painful but honest and I hope it helps someone.
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    Jul 15 2012: Hello Sujan,
    When I saw this discussion awhile ago, something came to my mind immediately, and I dismissed it temporarily, in an effort to possibly discover a precious and favorite "thing" in my life.

    I'm back to my original thought and feeling, because although I appreciate all the material things in my life, the most precious and favorite, is the life experience itself. That can never be claimed by others, unless they choose to share it with me of course, and that is a win/win situation:>)

    When hiking the Annapurna mountain range in Nepal, that is my most precious and favorite thing, when hiking the Inca trail in Peru, that is the favorite, or when hiking/skiing the mountains around my home, that is the favorite. When kayaking the lakes, rivers, streams of our world or exploring different cultures, that is the favorite. Playing/working in the gardens is a favorite. One of the MOST favorites, is spending time with the many family members and friends who I love and appreciate so much. Nothing can ever take those precious experiences away, and I'm glad to share them with others.

    I was thinking of losing a " thing"...
    While staying with a friend in Greece years ago, we went out on an adventure for the day. I happened to be wearing a saphire ring, which was very precious to me because I got it in Thailand, and it had very special meaning.
    When we got back to my friends house, I noticed that the stone was gone (valued at $5,000. US). My friend insisted that we retrace our steps and try to find the stone. I said no...wherever I lost it, I'm sure someone who can use it will find it. My only hope was that whoever found it, recognized the value and did not simply throw it in the trash thinking it was a piece of glass! That is how I feel about "things" and what is truly precious to me:>)
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      Jul 16 2012: Hello Colleen,
      Back again..i love to read all your experiences that you most often share in conversations.
      loved the last part of your conversation-
      '...wherever I lost it, I'm sure someone who can use it will find it. My only hope was that whoever found it, recognized the value and did not simply throw it in the trash thinking it was a piece of glass!'
      Really impressive.
      It shows how well you lead your life.
      got to learn a lot from you.:)
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        Jul 16 2012: Hello Chetan,
        I appreciate, am grateful for your feedback, and happy that you come back to TED again....and again....and again:>) Your thoughts, feelings, ideas and opinions are valuable to all of us.

        Communication is one of my favorite and most precious things. I believe we learn a lot from each other as students and teachers in the life experience. It is by sharing ourselves with the stories of our life adventures, that we can get to know each other, thereby recognizing how much we are really the same.....yes?
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    Jul 15 2012: heart breaks!!!
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    Jul 15 2012: In my experience, it matters greatly what this most precious and favorite thing is. Many people fall in love only to find the person actually prefers someone else. Or he applies for his dream job but someone else gets it. In these cases I have known many people who have come to realize that there are other people to love and other jobs that one may find to love just as much. We have no special claim always to possess our favorite thing.

    There are other cases in which we cannot easily substitute another. For example, this precious thing may be a holy site to which one is no longer able to make pilgrimage. In this sort of case a good question is whether one can substitute loving it from afar, the way a mountain climber in his old age might love the moutain peak, a dancer in old age may love that stage, or those of us who loved our deceased parents find that love cannot itself be buried.
  • Jul 15 2012: There could be two types of 'claiming' in this.

    1. You may have something or someone that is good: beneficial to you, and to the society. Such a person or thing will have to be shared by numerous people(apart from you) because it is normal for one to desire, appreciate and associate with good things. For example, the family of Nelson Mandela, would have to share their husband and father, with millions of people(of which some would have direct access to him).

    2. Something belonging to you may be 'claimed' by an unjust system, power brokers or multinationals, as in the case of the oil rich Niger Delta of Nigeria where millions are deprived of their livelihood because of oil exploration. In this region, the soils, and the rivers are polluted(neither farming, fishing or even clean water is possible); and the people get almost no returns for the oil taken from their land because of the deals between oil companies and corrupt politicians.

    Now, the first 'claiming' is not very painful; while the second is.
    Sometimes one gets strongly attached to someone and something, and some greedy, or ruthless, or inconsiderate fellow takes it by force; or even when death snatches a loved one and God seems like such a heartless being.

    That is painful. And most painful situations result in sadness.