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Why is sex and innocence opposites in our society?

Why isn't sex innocent? Why aren't young people taught to embrace sex and their sexuality? Why do we put such a stigma on it? OR do you feel it hasn't been stigmatized?

  • Jul 10 2012: In my view, sex is there to express marriage love. If a child is born, so much the better. This is the whole reason why there is gender.
    This link is about marriage love

    Since it has our interest it is used in today's society to sell cars, movies, magazines etc. etc. And as with everything else we can do, it can be done for the wrong reasons as well. That's why kids, and women, need our protection.
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    Jul 11 2012: I believe the answer is control of the young and keeping them ignorant is PART of the problem with teenage pregnenec. I SAID PART
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    Jul 10 2012: Most of the commenters agree that it is cultural and religious influence. I might also add that it is political in nature. As regions and countries evolve the laws are implemented by the ruling class. Most of these were laws of convience. If you were of nobility you basically owned the land and all of the people who resided there. Men were hunters, gathers, warriors, and women were simply property. Even today the "civilized " countries do not approach the subject of harems and concubines when discussing human rights. Power has always reserved privelidges that the common man does not. We accepted JFK's flings and the open affair with Marilyn Monroe (and the other Kennedy flings). We laughed at Bill Clinton with all of his sexual encounters and reelected him to office. Until recently the idea of same sex marriage was condemed and those who participate were sick and shuned. Conservatives still hold to the core values in regard to morality while the liberals seem to condone or even embrace these acts. The stigmas of yesterday are open and accepted today (by some).

    Sumnmary: Times are changing and morals and values are being re-examined by law and acclaim. In my opinion, the socialist domination of America cannot occur if religion remained. The first attacks in subversion has always been morals (religion), books, media, and gun control. This has always been for the "common man" or in the United States the middle class. As soon as this occurs then the elite will jail all of the immorals (same sex partners) as they did in Russia. This is encouraged for the downfall of he country but not tolerated by the politiburo .. the elite who will rule you. All religious leaders will be discredited and jailed. All desenters will be jailed. All rights will be void.

    It is all defined by cultural, religious, and political influence.

    All the best. Bob.
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    Lejan .

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    Jul 10 2012: Hello Koreen,

    sex is as innocent as you (we) make it. It is not more than a religious concept of moral which was repeated for centuries in our societies, so that it became quite difficult to see it different from that.

    For monogamous cultures it became necessary to establish those moral concepts, because monogamy is not naturally 'programmed' in human behaviour. Therefore sex with another partner became a threat towards couple-hood and needed to be 'tamed' by the creation of moral standards.

    In polygamous societies it is most likely that you will not find the concept of innocence related to sex, as there is no necessity for it.

    The influence of this moral concept of innocence is even inconsistent in its meaning, as it usually applies differently towards genders. A monogam and patriarchate society usually reflects the concept of innocence more on females, which can be seen in the mystical idea of the unicorn, which can only be touched by an innocent woman. Why not also by innocent males? Wel, that's called double standard and its origin roots in a patriarchate.

    Sex in its very nature is neither 'good' nor 'bad' as it is our form of reproduction and therefore necessary.

    The fact that sex can cause problems within our society lays therefore in society itself and is only based on definitions.
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    Jul 10 2012: I think we make this link from the time of childhood. Sleeping or unawakened bodies should be allowed to sleep until they awake of their own volition. My value system feels very strongly that children should not serve adult lusts.
    However, we tend to over generalize this especially for adult women. I think sex should be innocent for both parties every time it is an expression of love without any whiff of exploitation - a sort of play time for grown up people. Anyone who sees a woman's participation in such a love act as anything other than wholesome is unhealthy in my value system.
    • Jul 16 2012: In my case, I awoke very very early.
      I've heard of one lady who went through "sheer hell" because of America's decadent sexual mores & psychological shames, (I'd say I did too). I don't think it's right to do that to any kid. (I think one researcher {Larry Constantine?, Floyd Martinson?} wrote of it as possibly producing "a constellation" of mental terrors.)

      Children should neither serve adults' need for an easy buck in advertising to-them, in prosleytizing (such-as in "Jesus Camp"), or in steering them towards violence & war with "realistic" video games.

      I think we;ve invented this "child = innocent" because we feel disempowered to keep or regain it as adults. We make so many moral concessions & ill-advised compromises, & so much of our character fades that we need to idealise it in someone else; rather than fight hard, (and forgive), to get it back.

      Brené Brown's talks would be a good source too; as well as a source on facing our fears.

      (I'll throw this in. I was gonna use it as "my own answer," but I guess it doesn't realy answer the question.)

      "Love" often-times covers up over own inadequacies & lack of integrity. We cover up such feelings with a "belonging" to a (small) group. This group is socially elevated/accepted, therefore, we feel better.
      Love is a very nebulous, multi-faceted thing; so it is very hard to discuss & tell other how they should do it. We should be more forgiving (& giving) in allowing others room to learn and grow. Many good lessonss can be learning in the hardships of being in a relastionship, but I suppose that "monogamy" need not necessarity be the only type.
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        Jul 16 2012: Children who awake very early are most often - I say most often and NOT always awoken by a preditor who practices grooming. They convince the child that it is their own desires when they have been awakened by someone who uses them.
        I am not sure how early you mean and neither am I sure whether or not you feel you 'imprinted' upon others of that age.
        No one should attempt to hand me a NIMBA line because that person would be in for the fight of their lives.
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    Jul 10 2012: Hi Koreen.
    Sex is designed to be the ultimate union between a man & a woman. It serves two purposes; one to produce children, & two, to maintain a stable loving relationship in which the children can mature. This view is widely ignored today, & we pay the price in broken marriages & confused children, but each individual can make their own choice as to what they want in their life.
    Sex can be innocent in the correct environment, but if it is abused then the conscience kicks in & takes the fun out of it. I have been happily married 38 years, & know of what I speak.

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    Jul 10 2012: Sex is a normal human expression.
    There seems to be a prevailing belief that any and every sexual act to which one is tempted at some moment is normal and healthy. And there are people who want to keep us obsessed and addicted to sex so that we'll have little sales resistance.

    This has not always been the case. There was a time when one of the things one looks foward to in marriage is sex; there was a time when the principles were clear on the sexual desires to permit and the ones to reject; a time when children a usually raised by married couples and thus they would learn a lot about sexuality from their father and mother.(then divorce and single parenting was not the norm).

    Napoleon Hill, in his book 'Think and Grow Rich' speaks of the evils of intemperance or overindulgence in habits of sex.

    Now we have become a society that is divided on the meaning of freedom, but seems to believe that it means a surrender to all desires. A world without restraints.
    A word is more likely to be abused when the concept it represents becomes corrupted.

    Young people do not even need to be taught. They learn by observation and by the examples around.
    Unfortunately, the inflamed and unbridled sexual instinct is what they've got to learn from.
  • Jul 15 2012: Grammar check that question please...
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    Jul 10 2012: Most people don't have enough self control to wait until they are in confident, happy, and loving relationships to have sex... So they end up getting pregnant, or impregnating someone they don't really like all that much, and stick with them.

    People aren't ashamed of sex. There ashamed of the people they chose to have sex with. It was teh most important choice of their life, and they didn't take it seriously. They wish they worked out a bit more, and had a better career before they settled for the person they're with. Sex should be a rewarding experience for attractive, intelligent, centered people, with self esteem... but most people don't get there... So they're ashamed.
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    Jul 9 2012: I think it must have to do with generalization and example. For instance, men are more likely to be convicted of a violent crime than a woman mostly because in general people have paterns of habitual behaviour and until recently women seldom resorted to over violence ( when they murdered they usually poisoned and that is harder to prove until the science got better).
    Women have often been considered duplicitous because they were not always obedient to their 'masters' and husbands so many small 'transgressions'led tothe belief that they were untrustworthy. If the issue had been reframed for the society long ago the conclusions might be different.

    ****************Addition- it is my belief that I made this contribution when this question had a different focus. In future please do not change the question but rather add another and I would be happy to contribute as I am doing above with informed consent. If I am in error, please contact me and I will remove this.