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Lia Kohelet

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Is there such a thing as a bad person?

Few years ago I arose this question in front of my family, and "caused" a huge quarrel. I claimed (and still do) that I don't believe that bad people exist. Deep inside we all are good but sometimes we let life circumstances control us, thus, choosing to DO bad things. My brother heard me and said: "Oh really, so Hitler was a good guy, right??"

And yes! That's a question that I thought of even months thereafter. Hitler was a person who had chosen killing millions of people, but that precisely why I wouldn't describe him as a bad person, rather as a very SICK one. For a person who chooses to fulfill himself in this life by killing others, is undoubtedly extremely sick, mentally sick!!

It doesn't mean that we should let people who hurt others acting freely, but perhaps to look a little deeper, understand them better, and perhaps even understand OURSELVES better.

Would love to hear your thoughts,
Lia

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  • Mark Meijer 100+

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    HostAssociate
    Jul 11 2012: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Godwin%27s_law

    Don't expect thoughtful responses when you dare to question people's dearly held emotional sensibilities.

    And don't stop questioning ;). But you'll last longer and have a better chance at actually getting anywhere, if you don't do it too openly.

    • Lia Kohelet

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      Jul 11 2012: Are you implying that I'm not open enough to others' opinions? I'm sorry if that's the impression that you got. :)
      Open-mind is necessary in such conversations, I agree.

      Lia

      • Mark Meijer 100+

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        Jul 11 2012: No I mean that in my opinion you are right to wonder about such things, that's much better than to simply swallowing popular opinion. But as you may have noticed (for example with your brother), many people are very intolerant of it, because it challenges their views and beliefs. It's much easier and somehow more satisfying for them to cry moral outrage and hurl shallow arguments, than to actually and honestly consider that their views might be wrong, because they are emotionally invested in them. Challenging someones beliefs tends to be taken as a personal attack. Which in a way it is, because those emotional tethers is the stuff that ones very sense of identity is made of.

        But I hope you won't let that stop you from wondering about things anyway. Unless your priority is acceptance and respectability.

        Cheers

        • Lia Kohelet

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          Jul 11 2012: Thanks for your comment, Mark, makes much more sense now.

          You are right, many people cannot distinguish opinions from emotions. I do not blame them, this is an attribute which one has to practice on.

          The way I know myself, I wonder too much (my therapist would attest:)). Anyway, as much as others' opinions might seem outdated and illogical to us, I believe that it is always important to question our opinions as well.

          Lia

      • Mark Meijer 100+

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        HostAssociate
        Jul 11 2012: Certainly, question your own opinions most of all :P. There's no real point to only questioning other people's beliefs, except insofar as it leads you to questioning your own. Because that's the only thing that is ever going to make a difference in your life. Which incidentally means that confronting others is optional, the more pertinent thing is to remain honest with yourself.

        But tell your therapist, wonder is not the same as worry. Your therapist may not be all that interested in finding out if the assumptions (s)he is operating on have any validity (even though one would think that's his job and his responsibility, but obviously it's not the norm)... but that doesn't mean you shouldn't, if you are drawn to finding out about such things. As long as it doesn't turn to worry. Or if it does, then you could always wonder about the assumptions underlying the worry :).

        Maybe your next question could be, is there such a thing as a good person?

        All the best.

        • Lia Kohelet

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          Jul 12 2012: My therapist does not have the option to dissuade me from discussing about different topics, after all, that's what she is getting paid for:)

          You keep raising profound points (I liked your point about Wonder versus Worry) which I found exceedingly interesting.

          All the best to you too.

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