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Is it not safe to be direct and honest?

I joined TED yesterday and I love asking questions. I am explaining this question with an example. I have asked a lot of people " what are the ways to say no".
People says, you should not say no directly because its rude.

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Closing Statement from Kamlesh Tiwari

Thanks to All for you inputs. I think its fine to be honest without hurting someone.

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    Jun 29 2012: .
    On this I would say it highly depends on a multitude of factors like cultural background, personality, situation, context, manners, etc., so that a final answer to your question is impossible to form.

    While beeing direct and honest you can loose your job or get one, loose a friend or find one. It all depends.

    Personally I prefer honesty and directness as it helps me knowing best with whom I am dealing with and what this person thinks. It also limits my risk of miss-interpretation, so my response may be more suitable.

    But if a 5 year old child shows me happily its all new painting, I define 'honesty' in a different way... :o)
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    Jun 28 2012: Hi Kamlesh!
    Welcome to TED:>)

    I have never felt unsafe being direct and honest. There are many, many ways to say no, and I generally try any way that seems appropriate, without being rude. It totally depends on the situation, in my humble perception:>) I try saying no in all gentle ways....for awhile. If a person is not understanding that I'm saying no gently, I ask "what is it about the word "no" that you do not understand?" I still say it gently, of course, because to communicate as gently and respectfully as possible is more enjoyable for all parties:>)
  • Jun 27 2012: Is it not safe to be direct and honest?
    Yes, it is becoming that way.

    To thine own self, be true.

    Help others learn to love and be at ease with the word, "no", when it is the right thing to say......

    By, saying it!!

    If telling the truth is the hardest thing to do, then tell it.
    If being honest, is the hardest thing to do, then do it.
    Choose what it is you live by. Too many are now accepting lies as the truth.
    Each of us, must try and awaken the truth within them by telling it to them and letting the truth talk to them.
    But, to thine own self be true. The balance is yours to find.

    Living is like walking on water. Constantly losing ones balance and trying to keep it or find it or get it back.

    We all, regardless of culture, have to learn to not be so sensitive in the ways that hold us back from growing into our sought-for-freedom - spiritually, physically, mentally, emotionally and psychically. If those are healthy ways of being, then it takes courage to be them and hopefully that is not through the last four letters of the word courage.

    That stems from fear.

    Sorry. No one to talk to here so I am using ted

    By here, I mean where I live.
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    Jul 11 2012: For me safety is not the main concern. If you are direct and honest is it the best way to be heard. Honest is an absolute requirement or else you risk distorting the world view of another person. However, if you are direct and the information bounces off the head of the other person and falls into the gutter an opportunity is wasted and you are ineffectual. If on the other hand you find the fastest, kindest, healthiest way into their ears you and they are both enriched. Sometimes that is even through their eyes without words. Nothing is more effective than a life well and consistently lived.
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    Jun 28 2012: If it is safe to be direct and honest is situational dependent. However, the further question is what is considered rude or unacceptable in the norm of your society. To show the bottom of one feet is rude in some places, to pat a child on the head is wrong in some areas, each culture has taboos and acceptable behavior.

    I would never tell a mother that her sons ears stick out far enough to fly, or that her daughter could eat corn through a picket fence with those buck teeth, even if both statements reflect the childs appearence.

    If the answer, even though direct and honest, will hurt feelings or cause distress perhaps it is not best.

    Direct and honest would be expected when deciding a big investment with lots on the line.

    In summery the answer is debatable due to the time and place.

    All the best. Bob.
  • Jun 27 2012: It is perfectly safe to be direct and honest. There is no reason not to be. The society we live in today believes that saying no is rude, but that is built off the several century belief that following a group, doing what everyone else does, going with the flow, etc. is the most important thing in the lives of us humans. This is absolute bull.

    I'll do it right now. Yes it is safe to be direct and honest. You shouldn't worry about what other think of you, that doesn't determine what you are, that determines what everyone else says you should be. You should be free, open minded, take in stuff that you like, and disregard stuff that you don't, and just do what you believe is to be correct. The more you worry about what other's have to say about you, the less you are able to worry about what you have to say about yourself.
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    Jun 27 2012: What is considered appropriate and what is considered rude is culture and situation dependent.

    In my lifetime where I have lived, if someone offers something generously that I don't want, the standard and expectation for adults is to say "No, thank you" rather than just no.So saying only no in that circumstance may sound unappreciative.

    In many workplaces and organizations, when a colleague asks you whether you would like to particiipate in something or whether you agree with an idea, you are expected if you say no also to provide an explanation or your reasoning. It isn't that it isn't safe, necessarily, to say no without elaboration, but it isn't an effective way of working with people.