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can we reform the discussion surrounding gender inequality?
As of late, the gender discussion seems to dominate the mainstream discussion on social justice. The alarming trend that I have noticed is that it has become a real battle of the sexes where one side accuses the other of causing its demise, which means any progress for one gender is seen as a loss for the other. I am proposing that we start to reframe the gender debate in a way where we can honestly address issues faced by men without saying "men just don't have as bad", in a way where we can address female issues without saying "women complain too much, get over it.
We must remember that progress in gender justice is (or should be) a benefit for all not a sum zero battle. Often, we get caught up if tallying up a score on who has it worse, rather than finding ways to address issues for both sides, simultaneously.
What will you tell your sons or your daughters when they come to you for advice?
Vera Nova
Be an INDIVIDUAL in our mixed society while developing our original characters however with respect to our complicated social environment is the key. Before demonstrating that you belong to any tribe be yourself, and be responsible for yourself.
Debra Smith 200+
http://youtu.be/lPqWzA25R0M
This little lady has something really true and valid to say. I discovered it when I followed a link from the Bullying thread.
Debra
Gord G 30+
Michèl Lefèvre
Debra Smith 200+
dany masado 50+
dean crawford
I understand there's many different systems mostly man made. The system I was refering to was nature or eveloution. I believe man is his own worst enemy we keep screwing with the system and it will bite us in the ass. So sir don't jump on me to hard and ill work at spelling better and being clearer in what I'm saying
Comment deleted
Michèl Lefèvre
Yes in the past they weren't treated unfairly, and yes you still have it bad in a way. But even so, since after all this is the topic about gender inequality, why don't we talk about men as well? Men have it pretty bad too, specially nowadays. You see women being pitied when something bad happens, such as Debra, in one of her comments she pointed out how badly she was treated at work, yet no man here, at least not from what I've read...has said anything about how unfairly they are also treated. Without notice, the world we live in has...in a way, become feminist. Just two weeks ago, I was siting at a bar looking around just to find myself looking at very nice woman, she was beautiful. Without even noticing I apparently stared for a slight second or two, well it was enough for her to meet eye contact with me. And upon us making eye contact she immediately chuckled and called me a 'pervert' as if I was staring at her breasts or anywhere that might lead her to say this. But in fact...I was merely looking at her face. What do you make of that? '' Men are beasts who prey of women!'' men also have stereotypes and have it bad. But even so...we hardly ever talk about any of it. Women in the past and even now have it tough, but in a way, its their fault too. Just like its mens fault that we are seen as rapists if we walk on the streets at night alone.Both genders/sex's have faults in how they are currently being treated.
Aja Bogdanoff 20+
dany masado 50+
Debra Smith 200+
dean crawford
Let's try and remember we are all part of a system that won't be any different 100 years from now but we will keep try . As a race we are mulely like that.
Debra Smith 200+
dean crawford
Debra Smith 200+
It is a terrible thing to mistake kindness for weakness Dean. I guess I am sorry that you are so pessimistic and that I cannot find common ground with you on this. Did you just call me weak. LOVE it when people make that mistake, sweety pie. My grandfather who died the same weekend i was born said never mistake meekness for weakness.
I LOVE being a woman and would never choose to be anything else. I am of course, still indignant that people took such advantage of the young woman that I was. I was caught in the changing times and I just needed a job. I made mistakes as I alone fought this fight and I know that millions of women are better off because I spoke out. Maybe the jerks who touched my body without invitation never would have had a shot then or since and they were willing to risk it at my expense. Maybe jerks that make rude retortsa never get to play in the big leagues either so they take their cheap shots where ever they can.
What am i trruly sorry for: it goes iwth my original statement- I am sorry thaT ANYONE IS STILL BEING JUDGED BY THEIR BODY- because that affects us all. I am also sorry that jerks miisinterpret the obvious in life - but hey that is another discussion.
robert hensley
At what level do you want to look at the system, because at the level of women's rights (and human rights in general) the system is vastly different than it was 100 years ago. To assume there won't be any more changes 100 years from now is statistically improbable.
David Barnett 20+
David Barnett 20+
Debra Smith 200+
Excelent points.
David Barnett 20+
Debra Smith 200+
Barry Palmer 50+
When feminists look at unequal wages, do they consider it from the view of a woman employer?
I think this is an area that feminism should not consider a high priority because it is extremely complex. I was a computer programmer and a good one. Studies showed that the best computer programmers were 20 times more productive than the average programmer, but received only slightly more compensation. Capitalism is not kind to workers of either sex.
Michelle Romine
teresa proctor
Barry Palmer 50+
"There are always going to be those who are not ready to accept this, that is OK."
The whole feminist movement is about saying that this is not OK. Injustice is not OK.
Debra Smith 200+
teresa proctor
Ata Shirazi
I want to elaborate the phrase “feminism deadlock” which I used it in my comments. Unfortunately the feminist movements have been impeded by several successive historical catastrophes. After first victory for feminists in 1920, when they gained federal amendment for Women’s Suffrage, a controversy aroused between feminist activists and cleaved them into tow antagonistic parties. A party thought that they reached their goal and the movement has reached its end and the other party believed that it is the genesis of a long and arduous procedure. When feminists were engaged this tough dispute the first catastrophe happened: The Great Depression. Then job opportunities disappeared and people lost their careers. Traditional workers, men, considered new workforce, women, as rival. It was too soon for society to accept a woman as breadwinner. Hence, men tried aggressively to take jobs form women. It was a shattering blow for feminist movement.
After that, the second catastrophe occurred: the World War II. This war masculinized the atmosphere intensely again and people forgot all things about gender justice because of more severe issues.
In 70s and 80s, by developing the communication technology, the trio of the mass media, popular culture and capitalism formed an impenetrable fort that has a great disposition to objectification of women.
Now, I think people have no interest in changing the gender justice situation and are satisfied with current status. They just grumble sometime about it ignorantly. When I refer to feminism deadlock I mean this indifferent attitude towards gender justice which has a historical base.
Debra Smith 200+
teresa proctor
Debra Smith 200+
teresa proctor
Debra Smith 200+
Barry Palmer 50+
However, the whole reason there is a feminist movement is that there is a portion of the population that do not agree with us. We might convince their children to our way of thinking, but meanwhile we have to do something about injustice now.
Barry Palmer 50+
I have heard and read this many times, and it is always stated as an absolute, and always in the context of a solution. The problem is that the people who are the problem are not listening, and even if they were, they would reply by either laughing or saying "You just don't understand."
The actual situation is more like, we are all women, and some of us have more testosterone than others. There is a genetic condition called Androgen insensitivity syndrome. At the extreme, every cell in the body cannot absorb any testosterone at all. When a genetic male has this condition, the result is a very voluptuous female body, without the inner female genitalia.
Our masculine and feminine traits start with biology, but our upbringing has a big effect also. I think a great deal of my morals and notions of masculinity came from John Wayne movies, no joking. I think the point I am trying to make is that this is a very complex reality and talk about male and female energies oversimplifies it to the point of uselessness. Teresa, I fully agree that accepting ourselves as a whole is very important. Knowing ourselves is a big part of the answer. Lets make sure we get it right, or the people who need convincing will be right to not listen.
Noah Crossfield
I believe that in many ways women are discriminated against in the work place. There are many more male dominated jobs than women dominated jobs. This in large has been based on physical requirements of jobs and social attitudes. Remember that until fairly recently in American history (world war 1 was when it women really joined the work force in mass, and again in WWII), and people just take a long time to break stereotypes.
It seems that women who have children can cause relatively more issues for employers than their husbands. A lot of that is simply biological. Maternity leave is still a chunk of time where someone cannot work. Males don't have this equivalent. Also, I saw something on the news that I think is important. I saw a women recently sue her company because her company wouldn't let her off early to pick up her child from school. She wanted to get off two hours early many different days. As the boss of that company, I would not grant that request because I'd be missing an employee for two hours frequently; it would have nothing to do with the fact that she was a mother.
Males and females have different biological needs and social roles. These different needs require different rules and regulations.These different regulations are not "equal" though. I don't think true equality is what we even really want. I think as a society we just need to be reasonable and unbiased.
Liz McLellan 100+
As for women construction workers...averages are not the issue. A small man with relatively little upper body strength who spent his youth typing away on a keyboard would be no match for an athletic woman who spent her youth doing triathalons. We need to stop thinking in "averages" and open the world up to individuals with strengths and weaknesses...
Debra Smith 200+
dany masado 50+
Noah Crossfield
Dany, I believe that a lot of the job-related injuries come from the differences in jobs. I believe that if there were equal amounts of men and women in these jobs, the difference in injuries would be much smaller.
One other issue is the choice of vocation. My teacher is a female engineer which was very uncommon when she graduated. It is not that her female friends couldn't be an engineer (they most certainly could), they simply chose to get some other degree. That being said, it does create a field that has many more males than females. I don't think that this is necessarily sexist though. Society didn't really stress female engineers thirty years ago, so we have many male engineers. This isn't really discrimination against women; it is societal thinking though that just promotes other jobs. I don't believe that women were ever told "you can't" they just were never told "you should." Now there are more female engineers than back then
Debra Smith 200+
I simply feel that while there are a few occupations (furniture movers)ho benefit from greater physical strength - it is worse than you let on- with women having estrogen influenced muscle mass and men having testosterone influenced muscle mass- partially creating the difference in physique- but it is still the men in charge holding on to old and worn out logic to keep certatin folks out of the fold.
What I did not tell this group is that four of us were hired on the same day. 3 men and me. The toolmakers refused to train a woman and threatened a walk out strike. The union backed the men (the majority and to hell with facts or truth) and all four of us were laid off to appease them. We were rehired one day after out lay off surpassed the time we worked (to surcumvent legalities) and rehired with a different job description which did not require our training by toolmakers. We were, of course paid less. I had to get my training from some men who would not even talk to me. They did not want me there and they felt that they should not have to train a woman. How would you endure such treatment? How can we all do better for your daughters and sisters and for my sons?
BTW- I worked there for ten years and guess what???????????????
They denied me a pension because I had taken a maturnity leave during that time.
Noah Crossfield
The only thing that we have to be conscious of is the what we are working for. Our goal should always be equality. We need to be very careful that we don't inadvertently hurt the other sex while trying to promote our own.
Abhishek Narainia
Liz McLellan 100+
Abhishek Narainia
Liz McLellan 100+
People were not "made" - people ARE in their fullness unique. Respect that.
Abhishek Narainia
And I am one of the sane ones too.
My point is, here we are discussing based on the premise that we are talking about Men and Women, and not jack and Drew or Molly or Sonia or josh. We are taking both the genders as whole. So even though every person is unique, that isn't the question here, though its a very nice thought here. But I will take this thought forward, and say that just as we are all UNIQUE so are MEN and WOMEN on whole and hence my whole argument.
Liz McLellan 100+
Abhishek Narainia
Debra Smith 200+
Noah Crossfield
Overall, I believe that while the lower pay of predominantly women professions was rooted in sexist thinking, its cause today is not from sexism but rather from our society's long history of paying not paying these professions well.
Debra Smith 200+
I have lived my life under the scrutiny of men who were convinced women because they were women (often on the basis of religious text which pretend to protect us) deserved far less out of life. Yes, traditionally female professions are often under paid. Why should women settle for a wage determined by past beliefs?
However, your answer did not explain why women should accept such a condition? Are we to pay some penance from centuries gone by even though our own kind died in such bondage?
Look at the opposite example to see more of what is occuirring today.Please feel free to call me Debra, but I didnote your politeness and kindness. Pharmaceutical sales used to be well paid - when it was male dominated. In order to bring the wage down to the 60s or so, they begam hiring women who were willing to work hard for far less. The companies won and the men lost biggest.
I still do not understand that if the main direction of religous men by their own texts- is to protect women, and in Christianity it is even to love us as Chist loved the churdch (aka to the very death to save her) -why, then do they oppose us when facts and fund tracking indicate that women take every cent home and use money wisely.
Noah Crossfield
The Pharmaceutical sales problem described seems like an economic incentive instead of sexism. The only reason this ever happened was because a few women agreed to accept lower wages. If those women never agreed to be paid less than men, this wouldn't of happened. Although some employers would of been sexist in their hiring process, in this situation, the only reason the wage dropped was because women accepted it. I'm not saying that is just, but it is what happened. Males and females should be paid equally for equal work, but that is not going to happen if women sell themselves short and accept lower wages.
And I am sorry if people have judged you or treated you poorly because of their religious beliefs. I am a Christian myself and I am familiar with the passage you mentioned. If a male is discriminating against a female because of his beliefs, I think that is unjust. He should treat both sexes fairly and equally. I believe that you have been personally hurt by this biased judgement; it isn't fair. I believe that the most fitting way to deal with this is by learning how not be like them. The Bible does say that men are supposed to protect their wives, but wives are also supposed to respect their husbands. We always need to be careful that we are actually going for equality and objectively seeking the best way to deal with these issues.
Ata Shirazi
I strongly believe that it can be a good starting point to reform and redefine the gender justice scope. The answer of this question is that women don't think of themselves as breadwinners and they expect their husbands to provide total household expenditure. Therefore they are satisfied with a low wage simply because they don't feel obliged to pay for cost of living.
If we want to make progress in gender justice we should offer a plan which benefits both men and women tangibly. The responsibility for providing cost of living in a family is exactly where we can convince men that gender equality can improve their life too. I want to emphasize that we must subvert this old stereotype that men are primary breadwinners. If women have the same responsibility for living expenditure as men, they will never accept wage lower than men's ones. On the other hand, it can relieve the working pressure on men and they can enjoy the lower working hours per week.
Abhishek Narainia
You are absolutely right about women using money wisely !!!
On a serious note,both Men and Women are involved in life sustaining roles. Unequal wages may be cause of how our society has been for the past hundred of years.About equal wages, my first thought is that it is obvious and if the work involved is of equal importance , wages should be equal. I mean that wages should be based on the position value and not gender. And all positions should be open to all.
A similar story has been doing the rounds about Maria sharapova and the new ruling that states that prize money in tennis will be same for Men and Women. In a recent debate one of the top 20 Men's player opposed the Idea. Here again I think that prize money shouldn't be on the basis of gender but on the premise that are women and Men Tennis matches equally compelling, heart warming, dramatic, entertaining or not ? If yes, then there should be no qualms about equal prize money.
Debra Smith 200+
If we were paid ofn the 'value" of our work based on roles - no man could afford a woman. How much was it worth for your mother to give you life for example?
Women and men see joint inputs quite differently, I have learned. Women in general according to the studies believe rewards for success should be equitable and men usually use the word equal but they practice some sort of proportionality. This is a foundational difference.
As to women spendng money wisely, ask the world bank and major charities. Women are the ones getting the small loans now and they are changing the world with their innovations and industry. They do not drink away that money unless it is in milk that they share with their kids.
Abhishek Narainia
About No man can afford a woman and the gift of life, How would my mother have given me that precious gift if it wasn't for My Dad ? Both genders are mutually dependent and equally important.And I can't agree that all men don't subscribe to equitable rewards.
I don't think that I can subscribe to " affording women" and I believe not many men would. Women aren't commodities, nor are men. No gender can afford the other, but can and should respect, cherish and love the other.
P.S - It wasn't sarcasm , I actually mean't that women use money wisely !!
Debra Smith 200+
You are complefely right, of course. Sometimes when making a point I have a tendency to overstate. I do think, after a huge amount of experience that my inputs into having my twins for example (who were 8 poungs 8 oz and 8 pound 14 oz at birth) was considerably more than that gasp I remember my then husband making! We may be mutulallly dependent but our inputs are not equal.
We are not commodities no matter how often we are consdered in those terms. Thanks for making that so wonderfully plain!
D
robert hensley
“More importantly, Is it possible that some men felt that they were restricted to working ungodly hours to be the breadwinner when they wish they could spend more time with their children?”
This is a great question, and there are a couple parts to it.
First, the directly stated:
-“, Is it possible that some men felt that they were restricted to working ungodly hours to be the breadwinner”?
And
-“ they wish they could spend more time with their children?”
Second, the indirectly stated:
-Did it take away from women the chance to be a breadwinner and possibly do it in a career that they may have cherished while being a major contributor to the field?
I commend these questions as valuable to all of our freedoms (also of course the topic of the debate). Even if having a child is a choice, should that choice take away specific freedoms from each gender, or should the person (not the gender) get to choose their contributions? Is this a choice our societies truly offer?
(Sorry for the delayed response)
Feyisayo Anjorin 50+
I used the word 'hell' as a symbolism for oppression. Women all over the world are dealing with domestic violence, objectification, institutionalised inequalities and oppressive cultural/traditional practices.
A woman may face one, all or none of these; and individual experiences are individual experiences.
One may symphathise or emphathise with an oppressed fellow, but it is impossible for someone to feel a pain that is experienced in another person's body.
That is why I called it 'private hell'; in order to make it clear that women in the developed nations are not in any way better than Middle-East, Indian, Chinese, or African women. Just like someone agonising over a toothache, is in no way better than someone who has just been shot in the foot with an AK47.
An African proverb says 'Think twice if a ragged man promises you a beautiful cloth'.
The effects of oppression on individuals do vary. In fact, the responses of oppressed individuals to oppression, varies.
Sometimes oppression becomes fatal such that the oppressed could forget his or her original state of freedom. One will definately not notice the abnormal if one does not even know(or remember vividly) the norm.
A tamed lion, a charmed snake, a castrated bull or a de-horned Rhino; are all different from an unaltered lion,snake,bull or rhino.
Here, the animals are different. So their alteration is a form of 'private hell'.
There is a gap between equality laws and attitudinal realities. Now, I refer to the attitude of men and women. The truth is that some nations have successfully created the illussion that women are free; while some other nations have made it clear that they are not.
dany masado 50+
I couldn't agree more
David Hamilton 50+
Women graduate high school and college at higher rates than men in the US... and have for 30 years straight... but men are oppressing women.
Women are less likely to be unemployed than men... and have been for 20 years.
Womens health costs more money than mens health because of pregnancy, so men are taxed extra to cover the difference.
Womens retirement costs more than mens, because they live a decade longer than men... So men are taxed to cover that too.
Rape and murder are down. It's illegal to beat your wife. "Irreconsilable differences" is grounds for divorce...
What are men doing that is so horrible? I was born in 1982... so I haven't seen any of this oppression you talk of.
It's also important to point out that while women were being oppressed in the 1960's... Men were being drafted into a meaningless war. Rich men have it easy, and they always have, most guys, do now, and have always, lead miserable lives where they work for people they hate, to feed their family.
Debra Smith 200+
dany masado 50+
David Hamilton 50+
I don't mean to pretend that women don't have specific issues, that do warrant further work, study, and assistance. In every southern state they're trying to pass birth control legislation, and that's nonsense. It's rediculous that we're re fighting some of these battles.
You mentioned sex trafficing... I personally think an honest discussion of legalization of prostitution, might be essential to dealing with that problem long term, but it's a very sensitive subject with fair and rational arguments on both sides. Whatever the solution however, it is simply unacceptable that this is a relatively common practice in strip clubs country wide.
Btw... The real increase in medical expenses comes from increased life expectancy, I just wanted to talk about that with social security : p. Just so you know I don't have any problem with these taxes and such, I've been convinced by the argument that these are good investments...
I just think it's important to point out, if you smoke, drink, or eat too much... and you're a man. Statistically, you will pay into social security for 30 years, and die before you collect. African American and Latino men also have shockingly low life expectancies to this day... In fact, the average black man, lives to be 67, and that's the age you start collecting social security under current changes...
There are dark aspects to our system, that need to be reformed... I just really think men and women need to work together if we want to fix them, and... Life's hard all around.
"A woman who seeks to be equal to a man, lacks ambition" Timothy Leary
Feyisayo Anjorin 50+
I used the word 'hell' as a symbolism for oppression. Women all over the world are dealing with domestic violence, objectification, institutionalised inequalities and oppressive cultural/traditional practices.
A woman may face one, all or none of these; and individual experiences are individual experiences.
One may symphathise or emphathise with an oppressed fellow, but it is impossible for someone to feel a pain that is experienced in another person's body.
That is why I called it 'private hell'; in order to make it clear that women in the developed nations are not in any way better than Middle-East, Indian, Chinese, or African women. Just like someone agonising over a toothache, is in no way better than someone who has just been shot in the foot with an AK47.
An African proverb says 'Think twice if a ragged man promises you a beautiful cloth'.
The effects of oppression on individuals do vary. In fact, the responses of oppressed individuals to oppression, varies.
Sometimes oppression becomes fatal such that the oppressed could forget his or her original state of freedom. One will definately not notice the abnormal if one does not even know(or remember vividly) the norm.
A tamed lion, a charmed snake, a castrated bull or a de-horned Rhino; are all different from an unaltered lion,snake,bull or rhino.
Here, the animals are different. So their alteration is a form of 'private hell'.
There is a gap between equality laws and attitudinal realities. Now, I refer to the attitude of men and women. The truth is that some nations have successfully created the illussion that women are free; while some other nations have made it clear that they are not.
J M
You have framed the equation inaccurately.
Why you have is complex.
Ata Shirazi
dany masado 50+
Debra Smith 200+
Robert Winner 50+
We do not need to re-focus or reform ... we need to accentuate the positive ... eliminate the infatuation with the negative. Perhaps a better way would be to resolve the issues on a smaller scale. Resolve them one on one not as a office issue where everyone must take a side.
My sons can all cook, sew, do dishes and have changed diapers. My daughters can change tires, do plumbing, and household repairs. The is no man / woman work .. there are tasks that need to be done.
All the best. Bob.
dany masado 50+
Scott Koenraadt
women have feminity and have it well defined. What is needed is for a redefinition of masculinity.
Kids are being taught that women are as capable and intellegent as them, but at the same time (from personal experience) girls get preferential treatment
One thing I feel would help this immensly would be to balance out the ratio of men and woman teachers, this is the only career that needs to be about equal. I think that would go a long way into helping bridge any remaining distance between the treatment of men and women
Debra Smith 200+
Barry Palmer 50+
Debra Smith 200+
dany masado 50+
Liz McLellan 100+
My right to freedom, health and joy implies yours...and it is the rules that "our betters" write which make that hard to attain...not my desire to attain them...
Debra Smith 200+
Salim Solaiman 50+
Wish your such effort will make feeling to be wrong....
dany masado 50+
Frans Kellner 100+
If you look at traditional cultures life could only be sustained by a certain division of tasks between genders. Modern life changes fast, much more fast than most people can follow. Lots of people adapt to the new circumstances while others migrate from traditional areas.
So it isn't progress but adaptation to a new way of life and it isn't a fight for equality, for genders were mostly equal in respect within traditions all over the world.
Over time there's been a change of focus within humane life. At first all interest was on the group, then it became fhe family and now the focus changes to the individual.
Debra Smith 200+
David Hamilton 50+
Basically, it seems like the dream used to be to give every working woman, and working member of a minority, the benefits, that at the time, were reserved for white men. It seems like the glut in the labor market, created by the feminist movement, and the civil rights movement, through no fault of their own, was used by corporations, to force us all to meet somewhere in the middle.
I think this is why you see so much anger amonst, let's be honest, uneducated, white males in the south. They basically say "My daddy farmed a small plot of land, and fed a family of four... Now in my town, no one can feed a family of four on one job... What the hell did we do?". I think we need to have a bit more sympathy for that often incoherently expressed argument. While I must admit lots of people who think like that are racist, and or sexist jerks too, we shouldn't listen to them too much.
If a woman wants to work 40-60 hours a week to have a career, that income should be enough to feed a family of four... same as a man... same whatever color you are... We seem nowhere near that in modern society, and the big winners... are corporations. We're making more stuff than we used to because of automation... So what's happening to the good jobs?
The problem is that most men see this as "We got screwed"... Instead, we should look back and say "Nobody won... Somethings wrong here. I also think we need some full time parents to raise children, and take them to museums, and art galleries, but that decision should now be gender neutral.
Ata Shirazi
Lee Miller 10+
David Hamilton 50+
No where in America can you work a 40-60 hour week and raise a family, unless you have a top tier degree. In almost every family the man works that long, and the woman works that long, and the child is raised by the television... We have robots and computers why do we work twice as much for less stuff?
Liz McLellan 100+
Sex trafficking, rape, domestic violence-- though not limited to women - the persistence of invisible walls and ceilings, tokenism, differences in pricing and coverage, pay gaps, lack of sufficient representation in halls of power commensurate with numbers... the list is really long...of goals women and feminists seek to address...along with the fact that the middle class (or what call the working class) is being carved out so that there are two classes....those with infinite security and those with none.
Globally - out of the reach of the concerns you point out - extreme poverty is the lot of most women and men....both pay a heavy heavy price. The price women and girls pay is quite different though...
robert hensley
We are all people, but we are also all different. We see things differently, we feel stresses differently, and we draw different conclusions in different situations. All of this and more are exactly the reasons why we have our own individual value and make our own contributions to our world. Our only definitive equality is that we are all different and the difference are much more fundamental than gender.
The human brain "names" people with differences: how their face looks, what the color of their skin is, what their gender is, and so on... Our brains then use this natural naming tendency as a foundation of definition. The problem is this habit sometimes causes us to draw conclusions which are not well founded at all levels.
In example: a man might recognize that someone is a woman and therefore draw the conclusion that they are different from each other. This is true. But it doesn't stop there; then they conclude they can do different things and in turn they can't do the same things. Not true at all levels.
Humans have a tendency towards pride, and that pride often turns into a feeling of being better than someone else (hubris). In a society that has primarily been dominated by men, this tendency has turned toward men being better than women. This tendency is an extreme and is not true on this general basis. The only thing that you can say on this general level is that they are different.
Ata Shirazi
dany masado 50+
More importantly, Is it possible that some men felt that they were restricted to working ungodly hours to be the breadwinner when they wish they could spend more time with their children? In our quest for gender equality, do you think that stay at home dads get the same rep that mothers do? What is your first reaction when you hear a man say he stays at home to care for the kids while his wife works? This is yet another example of the gender restriction on men which inevitably affect the man to woman interaction.
Ata Shirazi
But let me to emphasize that in my view cooking for your own sake, taking care of you own child and doing your domestic chores of your own home IS NOT A JAB! A job is a career which involves promotion, social interaction, appropriate income, organization and so forth.
Barry Palmer 50+
This is no mystery. Anyone can stay home and raise children. No qualifications needed, no need for an interview, and the position often gets no pay. It is one of the least exclusive roles in society. IMO, there are two related problems that together become the root cause of this lack of status. One, the tradition that a man's home is his castle, and whatever happens in that home is the business of the family and no one else, especially not the government. So there are no standards or guidelines for raising children. Not long ago, beating your children was perfectly acceptable if you did not break bones.
The second problem is the flip side of the first one. We have no scientifically confirmed method for raising children. I have not kept up with the research in this area, but when I first became a father, in 1977, I looked up everything that was available. There were about a half dozen methods of child raising that could credibly claim to be scientifically based. So I looked into the independent studies of these methods, and found that only one of them had better results than children raised with none of these methods, and the improvement was insignificant. I remember that one of the methods produced a significantly higher percentage of teenagers abusing drugs.
So basically, society believes that raising kids is a 'by guess and by golly' business, as evidenced by the fact that parents who appear to be doing everything right still produce children who become criminals, drug abusers, or just lazy losers.
A successful scientific method for raising children will transform our society, and trained parents will get the status of respected professional.
Liz McLellan 100+
My job as a parent is not to raise cogs for your corporate machine - the network of "respected professionals" - as I am one I suggest that is a rather limited spec for a well raised human.
Barry Palmer 50+