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Fonkou Djoendia

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Can you please offer me some advice?

Hello again guys! First, I want to thank each and everyone of you for answering the questions I have been asking so far, it means a lot to me! So much intelligence on this site.
Okay now, as of right now, I am a sophomore in high school, next year, I will be a junior. And I have a GPA of about 2.5, not sure. I am not very smart. My parents keep pressuring me about getting good grades and getting a scholarship and becoming a doctor. They say that going to a community college is a waste of time and money. And so you must imagine how that makes me feel. I feel so hopeless, I feel like a failure, like i dont have a future. I know what my passion is, and that is to help people. I want to be a motivational speaker or have my own talk show, or become an author, therapist, or something of that sort. I just want a voice. I know it will be very hard for me to get a scholarship and I will probably end up going to a community college. And I wanted to major in communication. Its hard, I don't know what to do. I want to follow my heart, my calling, but at the same time, I feel like I have to do what my parents want me to do. I don't want to be a doctor, I am not interested in that at all. My biggest inspirations are Oprah, and tony Robbins. I really need some advice on this, so if you have any, please share it with me. Thank you so much.

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    Debra Smith 200+

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    Jun 26 2012: 1) Start incorporating current feedback - allow all this love in!
    2) Stop saying or thinking you are not smart - I do not know how they say it in your country but does MOOSE POOP mean anything to you?
    3)With a smile and a heart like yours all you have to do is pick a direction, sweet one, and you will walk right into success if you define it right!

  • Linfeng Wang

    • 0
    Jun 26 2012: My Friend, whatever you choose, as long as you follow your heart you cannot go wrong. It is your heart that will guide you along the path to joy and fulfillment.

  • Darel Ellert

    • +1
    Jun 18 2012: My Friend, whatever you choose, as long as you follow your heart you cannot go wrong. It is your heart that will guide you along the path to joy and fulfillment. Whatever anyone else thinks about your choices (yes even your parents) is none of your business. They are not here to live your life. Only you can do that. Go and BE what brings you joy. Have a great life! Safe travels. Cheers.
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    Kevin Jacobson

    • +1
    Jun 14 2012: Work as hard as you can in school. Ignore temptations to play video games or hang with your friends. Use after school time to study and finish your homework. Use your knowledge as a weapon to pursue your passion. I your parents want to tell you how to live then screw them, they don't deserve to have you as a son if they want to control your life that much. At the beginning of my seventh grade year, I was almost failing all my classes, but now I am an A/B student. That all came with that advice.

  • Mike Robinson

    • +1
    Jun 14 2012: What if you chose to take all the good advice you have received on the TED forums and made them into a video, or pamphlet for other young people? There must be a million other youth like yourself with the same questions. What makes you special is you have the wisdom to ask a very interesting and wise group of individuals in this forum whereas many youth are learning from Lady Gaga or Jersey Shore.
    You could literally help hundreds/thousands/millions of young people! In a few years, or with a little luck you could be on Oprah yourself!
    I see a big opportunity here to experiment with both communications and psychology, and to propel yourself in towards a bright and prosperous future. Are you up to the challenge?
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    Linda Taylor 50+

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    Jun 14 2012: I'm going to tell you exactly what I told my kids. Find what you love to do and get paid for it. How much is irrelevant.
    If you have a passion for the communication industry, start now. Join the debate team, work for IT. Run a video camera, take pictures. Place yourself in situations where you are going to learn about your interest even if it is somewhat lateral to what you actually want to do.

    Check out internships and see if a local radio station or TV station would be interested in some volunteer help. Every little thing will help you decide. I always say I am in training now for what I am to do next. So learn everything you can even if it is boring or repetitive.

    Get on blogtalk and start a radio show. Begin talking and using your voice. See what it takes to produce an hour show. Get on facebook and advertise your show to all your friends. Make sure it will be of interest to them so they actually listen and participate. Blogtalk is really cool because you can have realtime tweets and chats during the broadcast if people don't want to call in. You tube is next. Start to think about possible interviews. Connect all of this through a facebook site.

    For instance, you're a sophomore so cars may be of interest to you and your peers. Maybe get some friends on the radio to talk about what kind of cars they like and why. Then maybe invite a car dealer to join the talk by phone or on their computer. Maybe several dealers. Then go interview at a dealership and video the cars and the features. Start a FB page like Djoendiia Productions and link the radio show and the youtube videos there. Ask all your friends to like it. If they are on the radio show, more likely they will be to share.

    You could do this with any subject, music, family issues, dating etc.

    You're not a failure. You won't disappoint your parents. They love you and want you to be successful, they just have a narrow idea of what that should look like. Lots of us parents do that
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    Linda Taylor 50+

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    Jun 14 2012: .....(CONTINUED)
    Imagine what a college application would look like if you had on there that you produced and directed a weekly radio show for 2 years along with a list of topics. And that you had produced and directed a video series that they could preview if they wanted. Link directly to the site.

    I think you would be ahead of the game and the scholarships you would look for would be different than the ones looking at your GPA. Scholarships put out there by camera companies and communications giants. Just sayin.

    PS: A radio show is a lot of work. Don't let your grades drop.
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      Fonkou Djoendia

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      Jun 14 2012: You changed my life.THANK YOU SO MUCH LINDA! You are a wonderful people!
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        Linda Taylor 50+

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        Jun 14 2012: Glad I could help. Also if your parents are not interested in your going to community college you could check out some of these options.

        http://cp.disneycareers.com/en/about-disney-college-program/overview/
        http://www.regent.edu/acad/undergrad/academics/degree/communication/communication.cfm

        There are way more and you will get good information if you work with your counselor. You'll get more than you ever wanted. You should start shopping now. Go visit different campuses - I would suggest U of Hawaii but that's just where I would want to go;)

        You got time. Shop carefully.

        I get your parents, I was like them. I think it is important that young adults have the opportunity to GO AWAY from my house to learn and experience a little life. Saying that with a smile.
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          Adriaan Braam 20+

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          Jun 14 2012: The best approach ever!! Great suggestions! Haven't read them all, yet, but these days too few people are doing things they love, Oh and also to make money.

          No one likes to go to a doctor (or any professional) who only does it for the money. I know!

          Find a second opinion on what your strengths are and what you love doing. Depending on who that is, have them print out a summary or have them contact your parents.

          Fonkou I hope you have a great working experience and thus a good life.
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    peter lindsay 30+

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    Jun 14 2012: What ever way you go, remember you can always change your mind. There's no law that says you can't start a new career if you change your mind later on. When your young these decisions seem so big and final but in reality very few people stick with one job their whole life.

  • Zdenek Smith 100+

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    HostAssociate
    Jun 14 2012: I encourage you to follow your heart and feelings and explore different opportunities. Take school and courses that you consider good fit for you and you will discover whether it works for you or not.

    Only when you do what you love to do you will truly be happy and motivated to excel.

    You can also learn a lot from working on your passion e.g. try to write a novel, attend local club or take a course.

    In terms of communication, you can get a great deal of practice and experience in local Toastmasters club for free! At the same time you meet great people that will motivate and help you.

    There is always time to go back to the more formal and higher end education but if you don't feel like explore local collage or online learning experiences.

    cheers
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    Scott Armstrong 50+

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    Jun 13 2012: Don't disregard the school of hard knocks.

    Tertiary education is like getting your foot in the door for many professions - like a golden ticket to the chocolate factory. You will need to do this for certain jobs.

    I went through the university machine and am not enamoured of it. The papers that I was interested in, I enjoyed and did well at but they were few and far between. The papers that actually helped me with my profession (teaching) were non-existent. I learnt the job on the job.

    I also have a band that has been going for 10 years now. We have not made a lot of money but the value of it for me is not in monetary gain but in the pleasure I get from it and the drive I have to do it (it's built-in because I enjoy it so much).

    My brother and I started the band with no experience beyond playing guitar and singing along at college and parties. We just went for it and have managed to hold it together for a decade with no sign of stopping. I love it because it is completely ours, built from scratch to the point where we have all the gear we need and experience in front of live audiences that cannot be learned any other way.

    Set your priorities. Financial comfort is not the be all and end all and is very tenuous as many people have discovered in the past couple of years. It's nice to be comfortable but it's better to be motivated and loving what you do.

    I don't think you'll need a lot of official qualifications to follow your dream. It's tough, I know because I did the whole teaching profession thing because I didn't know what I wanted and I thought I'd better get a 'decent' job because that's what Mum and Dad did.

    I wish I had had the confidence and drive to ditch college and get into music but, as it turned out, I did it eventually.

    You know what you want to do and that counts for a whole lot. You will find a way. Patience and determination.
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    Feyisayo Anjorin 50+

    • +1
    Jun 13 2012: A society without the governance of educated people is a society on the verge of doom.
    Education is extremely important. It is that awareness that one does not know everything, and that one will always have a lot to learn.
    That is why formal educational institutions are usually successful. A young girl from a small town may have an exaggerated impression of her talents and dreams; when such goes to a University, she sees so many other talented young people with big dreams.
    Schools are enriching experiences because there is so much to learn from interactions and the pressures of the school structure, as there is to learn from books and teachers.

    • Zdenek Smith 100+

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      HostAssociate
      Jun 14 2012: "A society without the governance of educated people is a society on the verge of doom."

      Yes I agree. I think education is the most important aspect of our society.

      "Schools are enriching experiences because there is so much to learn from interactions and the pressures of the school structure, as there is to learn from books and teachers."

      I think that depends. Nowadays many believe the school system is very ineffective in teaching. In many cases it does not teach most important skills and knowledge about creativity, leadership, ethics and teams.

      More than learning from books and teachers one can learn from his/her own mistakes and by experimenting and working on actual projects. Of course there are good courses to take at schools as well but I think the most beneficial for an individual is to at least supplement formal education with informal one or even make "education" outside of formal system a priority?

      Here are very good TED videos on the topic:

      http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/ken_robinson_says_schools_kill_creativity.html

      http://www.ted.com/talks/lang/en/salman_khan_let_s_use_video_to_reinvent_education.html

      cheers

      • Zared Schwartz

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        Jun 14 2012: I cannot deny educational system in America is somewhat ineffective, but you still cannot deny the schooling system has a great impact on the individual's learning capabilities. It is just far superior to stay in a system than not to stay in a system. The educational system in America simply needs an upgrade if anything; however, "outside education" will never be good enough to be a priority. Also, sadly, this TED conversation is simply an advice discussion for the host. She really needs to drop the communication major and take a psychology major in order to be a psychotherapist.
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          Linda Taylor 50+

          • +1
          Jun 14 2012: I have a psychology major and it doesn't do much. Fonkou is asking for voice and psychotherapists don't usually speak out. I think it might be better if Fonkou found the voice and encouraged people to seek out the psychotherapist. Sometimes it helps if the general population can identify with issues and see/hear what has helped others. I totally get the Oprah reference and Oprah is no therapist. That show increases awareness and showcases solutions to common issues. I also think there is an opportunity to marry psychology and communications into something great for an upcoming generation. Lots of great ideas.

      • Zared Schwartz

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        Jun 14 2012: Yeah, a psychology major will do more than a communication major. I do not Oprah is a therapist; she is just a basic cable adviser. AA voice is not a career supplement, but it is within the person. In simpler terms, any career with personal passion has a voice.
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          Linda Taylor 50+

          • +1
          Jun 14 2012: Maybe in your part of the world. I have a BS in psychology and was never employed in the business. I have other family members with the same degree and they work at Home Depot. The family I have with the communications degrees are gainfully employed in the business. So in my experience the undergrad psych degree does nothing except prepare you for grad school. No one is going to be a therapist with a BS in psychology.

      • Zared Schwartz

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        Jun 16 2012: I do not know why someone would just get a BS in psychology. A person should aim higher than that.

      • Zared Schwartz

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        Jun 17 2012: A higher degree means more opportunities.
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          Linda Taylor 50+

          • 0
          Jun 17 2012: OK I understand. I think more along the lines of getting the education you need for your aspiration. After that, it becomes a hobby.
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    edward long 100+

    • +1
    Jun 13 2012: I assume you are using the word "education" as a synonym for "schooling". Schooling, in whatever form it takes, is essential to prepare for becoming educated. A good understanding of reading, writing and arithmetic allows education to happen in a much more efficient manner. Education is not limited to schooling. QUOTE: "Education is a progressive discovery of our ignorance." -- Will Durant.

  • Zared Schwartz

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    Jun 13 2012: Well, an accomplished motivational speaker or author does not need to be a beacon of hope rather than have great contacts. For the psychotherapist portion, look to Carl Rogers and Albert Bandura as potential heroes. From the sound of your voice, you do not want to go to medical school, ever. Why not major in psychology, it is a far more promising and satisfying major than communication.
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