Fonkou Djoendia

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What are 5 things you have learned that has completely changed your life?

I am still a kid, And I love asking questions, cause I believe that the best way to learn is through asking questions. And I love the TED community, its full of amazing individuals. So, What are 5 things you have learned that has completely changed your life?

  • Jun 9 2012: Every Day I learn More
    1- We spend 1/3 of life working, Choose Wisely & Do something that counts.
    2- To Master ANYTHING, Number of tries is the key. Always learn new skills, discover new places & Read much.
    3- Take Risks, if you win, you'll lead, if you loose, you'll guide.
    4- Your Family is the best gift in life, Love them and be grateful.
    5- If you don't build your dream, Someone will hire you to build their dream.Success is all about hard-work, passion and will.

    Only live your day and enjoy the beauty of the CREATOR
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    Jun 27 2012: 1) Knowledge is fine, but useless without creativity. You need creativity to solve a problem and not only for arts. Creativity is something you have, but after years in school you loose it.
    2) Our supply chain sucks. The way out products are made is very complex. It is difficult to see where the process starts, but usually it involves some kind of slavery (cotton, metals, diamonds, rare earth elements for smartphones.., production of devices (Playstation, iPod...in Foxconn ), which leads to number 3)
    3) When you buy something you also approve it. By getting an iPod, shoes or diamonds you say "I think it is a good thing that you do it and how you do it, make more of them".
    4) Good grades and status on paper are no primary goals. The primary goal is to make this earth a better place. However good grades and status make this a lot easier. For example if you develop some tech or solve a problem you get a PhD. This is nice but it is only half the way. You also have to make sure, that it is used to the benefit to those who need it. For example to clean up our supply chain (it is ok to use tech as a slave)
    5) Talent is overrated. Good people are good at what they do because of practice (10 000 hours). That it does not feel like pain or work to them one could call talent.
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      Jun 27 2012: Wow Sebastian, this is what I read TED answers for. You allowed me to live for a moment through your eyes. Thank you.
  • Jun 8 2012: 1- your body, mind and soul all need to be feed equally
    2- love everything, but don't get your happiness attached to any of it
    3- you are born the moment you realize your passion and start working for it
    4- be good to all, at all times, and all phases
    5- we are in this world to make it better, not to sit back and watch. it's short, so make the best out of it!

    enjoy life ;)
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. Gratitude
    2. Humility
    3. Acceptance
    4.compassion for all
    5. don't take yourself to seriously

    ahh how much easier life would be, if I could just apply those principles everyday.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. Help other people and live in purpose.
    2. Be true to yourself in the best way.
    3. Use your intellect wisley.
    4.The comfort zone is a dangerous place, step out.
    5.be curious of the universe, you will get in a higher awareness.
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. Charles Darwin - We are animals. We are related to all life on earth. Geological time is vast beyond one's wildest imagination. The ways in which life evolve over this great expanse of time is humbling, beautiful, and extraordinary.
    Naturalism - There is beauty in truth!

    2. Richard Dawkins - You, being alive right now, are the recipient of ~3.8 billion years of unbroken and successful genetic inheritance. This is a gift, but also a responsibility.

    3. Renés Decartes and Bertrand Russell - Question everything! Skepticism isn't cynicism, it's intelligent and critical thought. Don't accept popular opinion as truth.

    4. Edward O. Wilson - Sociobiology. We behave as we do due to evolutionary traits that conveyed advantage (adaptations), language, hands, large brains, and controlled use of fire among them, and in doing so have so vastly separated ourselves from all the other codependent living organisms on earth. Having advanced, technologically speaking, so rapidly, we have outpaced the corrective forces of evolution and unintentionally set a course of global instability that threatens all life on earth, including ourselves. Life will go on, in the sense that rats, cockroaches, vultures, crows, microorganisms, and fungi are life, but the oceans will forever be stained with plastics bags and bottles, the soil, water, and atmospheric chemistry/composition so dramatically altered that life as we know it will fail to keep pace. Our daily choices matter in how we choose to bequeath the earth to future generations of all macro fauna, so choose wisely friends.

    5. Henry David Thoreau - a simple life isn't necessarily a less fulfilling life.

    Oh, and my history professor in high school, Craig Schmidt, who taught me to be critical of sources of information: history is usually written by the victors of conflict. Also, Al Gore, who revealed an obvious fact: when my father was born there were 2 billion, and now 7 billion people on earth, this is not business as usual.
    • Jun 8 2012: Awesome response Ben!
      • Jun 8 2012: Thank you Brian!

        I tragically forgot Carl Sagan! -

        "Human history can be viewed as a slowly dawning awareness that we are members of a larger group. Initially our loyalties were to ourselves and our immediate family, next, to bands of wandering hunter-gatherers, then to tribes, small settlements, city-states, nations. We have broadened the circle of those we love. We have now organized what are modestly described as super-powers, which include groups of people from divergent ethnic and cultural backgrounds working in some sense together — surely a humanizing and character building experience. If we are to survive, our loyalties must be broadened further, to include the whole human community, the entire planet Earth. Many of those who run the nations will find this idea unpleasant. They will fear the loss of power. We will hear much about treason and disloyalty. Rich nation-states will have to share their wealth with poor ones."

        "A tiny blue dot set in a sunbeam. Here it is. That's where we live. That's home. We humans are one species and this is our world. It is our responsibility to cherish it. Of all the worlds in our solar system, the only one so far as we know, graced by life."

        "Consider again that dot. That's here. That's home. That's us. On it everyone you love, everyone you know, everyone you ever heard of, every human being who ever was, lived out their lives. The aggregate of our joy and suffering, thousands of confident religions, ideologies, and economic doctrines, every hunter and forager, every hero and coward, every creator and destroyer of civilization, every king and peasant, every young couple in love, every mother and father, hopeful child, inventor and explorer, every teacher of morals, every corrupt politician, every "superstar", every "supreme leader", every saint and sinner in the history of our species lived there - on a mote of dust suspended in a sunbeam."
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    Jun 8 2012: 1. Learning and change is a life long process.
    2. Do a variety of things and find the right balance. Anything in excess in harmful
    3. Be compassionate and generous, especially with praise and genuine love and respect
    4. Never be afraid of failure. Sometimes a major failure is the best thing that can happen to you
    5. Learn to let go. Some people will always be unfair to you. Learn to get them out of your life
  • Jun 8 2012: 1.Passion is the fuel to extraordinary results.
    2.Faith in god & self.
    3.Genuine intention & efforts pays sooner or later.
    4.Don't loose hope in tough times, every tunnel has an end!
    5.Strong belief in the law of karma.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. Faith can move mountains, but only if you exercise it. Faith through wishful thinking accomplishes nothing other than to make you wonder why nothing is happening.
    2. Books are an important learning tool. Make sure you review the interior before you buy it.
    3. Science is the most productive learning tool we have in today's world. It is not always right, but it is always ready to accept a better answer.
    4. If you want to know who's telling the truth, ask a question in which you already know the answer.
    5.We only play the cards we are dealt, but we are not the dealer. Learn to play the right cards.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Forgive yourself.
    2. Cultures vary, but underneath people are pretty much the same.
    3. Different languages express ideas that don't translate well. Learning new languages gives you more tools for understanding the world around you, and the ability to make connections with people who will help you do the same.
    4. You grow the most when you step outside your comfort zone.
    5. You will eventually grow comfortable no matter where you go and what you do. Don't mistake comfort for happiness. Refer to #4 often.
    • Jun 8 2012: number four is really, really true. comfort is like eating the same food over and over again until it doesn't even seem nourishing anymore!
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. Pursue your passions recklessly - you'll regret nothing.
    2. Relish your victories, but do so humbly; never attempt build yourself on the misfortune of others
    3. Admit your defeats: honesty breeds integrity and respect. It is a sign of leadership.
    4. Cherish your friends and family, but do not let them define who you truly are.
    5. Travel.
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    Jun 24 2012: MARI TAKESHITA and Debra Smith wanted me to share 5 things that I have learned that completely changed my life. Before I start, I want to thank each and everyone of you for being so kind, amazing human beings. Thank you for taking your time, reflecting, and answering my questions. I am only 16, I do know a lot, but I still haven't experienced a lot. I am still on that journey of figuring out who I am and what I want to do with my life.
    1- Love yourself. This is my life motto. I fight everyday to engrave this into my own mind and soul and into others. I believe that it is the most important of all. Love yourself first and everything else falls into line.
    2- Don't compare yourself to others. I am firm believer in being yourself and comparing yourself to anyone because all it does, is drive you crazy. Strive for your own happiness, do whatever you can to make your life better. We all blessed in different ways. That realization set me free.
    3- Our prime purpose is to help others. Don't live selfishly, this life isn't all about you. Help others the way you can. You don't have to be the richest man on earth to lend a helping hand. Just a simple gesture as a compliment to someone goes a long way.
    4- Don't give up on your dreams. Always dream big. It doesn't matter who you are, where you come from or how much money you have in your pockets, if you have a dream, you love and believe in yourself, and you fight every single day to make that dream come true. Then I truly believe that any dream you have can become your reality. DON'T EVER SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS THAN YOU DESERVE.
    5-Be grateful for what you have. No matter what our situation is we can always find something to be grateful for. This may sound silly, but sometimes, when I'm feeling blue or lonely. I touch my legs, my arms, then I feel my heart beat, and I thank God for those things.
    Thank you. I am still learning.
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      Jun 25 2012: Fonkou, you sound like a genuinely remarkable young man! I think you have the good stuff figured out much, much earlier in your life than many of us likely did : ) Lots and lots of good wishes to you.
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        Jun 25 2012: Thank you so much Sue! You have no idea how much that made my day!
    • Jun 25 2012: Fonkou, when I was at your age, I discovered that the number of birthdays which one has doesn't guarantee wisdom. You'll be surprised you're wiser than a lot of 60-yr olds out there. Keep dreaming whilst doing. You'll go far!
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        Jun 25 2012: YES! Itaught my kids that just because someone lives in a big body does not mean that they are grown up inside.
  • Jun 22 2012: ‎1. God doesn't have to be the God I grew up with.
    2. It's possible to be grateful for even my darkest moments.
    3. Science is not a collection of facts but a way of thinking.
    4. The majority of the world is not, in fact, laughing at me.
    5. Mathematics is truly the language of the universe.
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      Jun 22 2012: Very good list, especially #1, i agree people should feel ok about venturing out and finding what works for them.
      Thanks for sharing
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      Jun 22 2012: :) I like no.4!!
  • Jun 21 2012: 1. Be gentle with people's feelings. You never know how you will impact the lives of others.
    2. Love is more important than money. Most people learn this after work has destroyed important relationships.
    3. People who have touched your life stay with you forever. This is so true.
    4. Take care of your body. Eat well, move often, and get enough sleep. Your good health will be an asset during your life
    5.Music and art are the glue that helps bond us as people across cultural and language barriers. Without it, life wouldn't have nearly as much meaning
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    Jun 14 2012: 1. We are not made just to make money.

    2. The world is not a perfect place.

    3. There is a 'Truth' that is not just determined by what humans think or say; or by popular opinion.

    4. Money cant buy love, trust and intergrity.

    5. Feelings should not be the sole-driver of all one's decisions.
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    Jun 9 2012: 1. Self-acceptance has led to much wider acceptance of others

    2. Happiness is nowhere near as related to money as I once thought

    3. If someone is down, help them up

    4. If I make it obvious that I trust someone, they will become trustworthy

    5. There is no such thing as certainty
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    Jun 9 2012: Not sure that this is the definitive list but these are certainly the most important things that I have learned in the last year or so, especially during my Year of TED (www.kyliedunn.com).

    1. Nobody has the answers, we are all stumbling along doing the best we can.
    2. Do not be afraid to put yourself out there to make friends and really connect with friends - chances are that they are just as worried as you are about making a fool of themselves.
    3. I am not required to be perfect, nobody expects it from me and showing imperfection actually makes me more connected to people in my life.
    4. Find people in your life who are willing and able to support you and tell you how wonderful you are. Love those people and make sure that you keep them close, they will change your life and give you strength when you think that you have no more.
    5. Everyone is broken in their own way and sometimes they will hurt you because of their brokenness. You cannot control their actions and you are unlikely to be responsible for them, so son't take on their crap and let them ruin your life. You probably have enough of your own brokenness to deal with.
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    Jun 8 2012: I hope you do not mind but just reread your question and I have another answer!

    1) Darren Wm.

    2) Brendan Frederidck

    3)Christian Alexander

    4)Justin Daniel

    5)Kristine Elysia



    My kids changed my life, totally and joyfully.
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      Jun 8 2012: I love that. I bet you are an amazing mother!
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        Jun 12 2012: You got it right Fonkou.
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        Jun 13 2012: Rafi- everytime I see your symbol I wonder if anyone realizes that it is one of the greatest antiquities of your ancient country.
        I feel priveleged to know you.
        Debra

        Dear Fonkou- you have glorious face! Thanks for sharing it with us!
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. trust in yourself
    2. live your dreams
    3. treat others like you want to be treated
    4. when in doubt... smile
    5. life is good
  • Jun 7 2012: * Be BOLD in your failures, they are your best steps toward success.
    * Don't let other people's fears dictate what you do. You must believe in yourself before anyone else will believe in you.
    * Study systems-based thinking, interrelationships are more important than causality
    * Learn to appreciate art, even if you can't create it - and to appreciate science, even if you don't pursue it
    * Enjoy the time you have with friends and loved ones. Listen to their stories. Ask them questions. It's humbling to hear the trials and triumphs others have experienced - share in their joy, absorb their lessons. Learning from others' experiences will enhance your thinking.
  • Jun 26 2012: 1) What occupies your thoughts controls your life.
    2) We don't see things as THEY are, we see things as WE are.
    3) Relationships relationships relationships relationships...
    4) Learning never has to stop
    5) "Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom." Victor Frankl

    Keep asking questions, Fonkou!!
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      Jun 26 2012: I like this list and would love to read how they in fact did change your life. Could you share a couple???
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    Jun 26 2012: Love your question!

    1. Present is the most important time but past determines you in some way but it's you who can manage your life by giving the past a meaning that could let you use your present to savoir-être and considering your future as an immediate result of your present. So, what matters it's the meaning you give to your past, your present, your future and the things, people and situations you value.

    2. Anxiety is not as bad as it seems to be. Anxiety shows when you feel that something you value is in danger to be lost. And anxiety can give you the strenght you need to defend what's important to you and it's also a master who shows you what you value the most.

    3. Smiling can make you feel better. So smile!

    4. Reading is one of the most delicious things to do and it's also one of the cheapest, everybody should give it a try.

    5. Death is part of our lives and our nature.
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    Jun 9 2012: That there is something intangible and indescribable that happens when you become a parent that stops people being selfish to some extent.
    That to serve others is an awesome way to live.
    That failure can be the path to greater success.
    That I can really only change me and invite others to do the same.
    That a happy life is about relationships, how I treat others, not money, success or things I've done for others.
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    Jun 9 2012: 1: Sometimes life is hard, sometimes it's easy. Remember that the easy path is not always the right one.
    2: Courage is not the absence of fear, it's being afraid but doing what you know is right anyways.
    3: Nothing last's forever not even time and space. So don't dwell on things past, and remember that the future is yet unwritten.
    4: Always strive to be the most clever person, and if you aren't clever wear glasses while examining things and speak as if you know what you are talking about. Trust me it always works.
    5: You are a living thing, not only living but a human. Humans are evil, greedy, envious, selfish, and ignorant. We are also good, courageous, brave, caring, loving, and knowledgeable. The great thing about being human is that we always have a choice. We can only hope that you make the right one.
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. Being happy is like having good posture. You have to consciously make an effort to maintain it.

    2. If you feel uninteresting, become interestED. It is your passions, pursuits, and knowledge that enrich you as a person, and before you know it, you'll be admired for that.

    3. If you often feel a lack of contentment, at least be comforted by the fact that it probably means you are ambitious and not satisfied with settling for less.

    4. If one views the history of life on Earth on a month-long timescale, humans appear in approximately the last five minutes. The human species is definitely interesting and unique and exciting to think about, but it is well to remember how brief of a role we have played thus far.

    5. Sometimes you must go do something significant and out of your comfort zone BY YOURSELF to get out of a lack of confidence rut. Backpack through a foreign country alone, move to a big city, end that stifling relationship, or whatever seems scariest to you. The benefits will manifest themselves in your career, your relationships, your ability to embrace opportunities, and your overall happiness.
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    Jun 8 2012: Hi

    I have spent 10 years battling various illnesses (with help and other people's spare body parts!) and I think that's one of the most valuable things that has ever happened to me. I wish people could learn from my experiences but it seems that you only learn the true life exoperiences by nearly losing yours or being very close to someone who does.

    My lessons are:

    1. be happy, do stuff that makes you happy but also know that you control your state of mind - laugh often
    2. be grateful, even when you don't; there is someone who loves you
    3. give, you will always get more back
    4. love, and allow yourself to be vunerable in doing so, you will be protected but those who deserve your love
    5. look after your body; use it, try not to take it for granted and forgive it for it's minor problems, it does an amazing job

    but the things that changed my life were:
    1. Getting diagnosed - discovering my true inner strength
    2. waking up after my kidney transplant - surrounded by family and friends and feeling immediately better than i did before i went into surgery
    3. buying my first horse - unconditional love and passion combined
    4. getting together with my best friend - i didn't know love could feel this good
    5. going to do Camp America - I didn't know that I was any good with kids or other people, I thought I was just a maths head but in truth you can reinvent yourself at any time! Like yourself!

    Sorry for the waffle!
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. love yourself, you must before you love someone else
    2. don't fight pain, its makes the positive so much sweeter
    3. think positive
    4. smile
    5. never give up on your dreams
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. People can change.
    2. Failures can lead to successes.
    3. Depression can be overcome & doesn't have to end you.
    4. You can never truly understand another's perspective until you have experienced what they have.
    5. Understanding oneself is an endless process.
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. First love and respect yourself, others will follow and you will be source of joy for people around you
    2. Live each day balancing the three make up of your being body, mind and soul. Take care of your body, nurture your mind and give a rest to your soul when you feel it is due.
    3. Expand and increase what has been given to you (although this seems simple, I think it is one of the principles of the universe), don't settle.
    4. Don't wait for perfect moment and right time, you have to try to know when is perfect and to feel when is right
    5. Pick up your self hundred times, enjoy the process, and move on
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Express your ideas widely. Do not be afraid to tell everyone. No one will steal your idea. The people who work on ideas have their own and won't notice yours. But people who can help you will take notice!
    2. The universe is releasing ideas into this material world.. not just to you. Move quickly or watch someone else implement the idea.
    3. If you see your idea implemented by someone else, give yourself one gold star. Tell yourself, "I thought of that!" and be proud not jealous.
    4. Love yourself first. Give yourself a hug. Then you can spead the love!!
    5. If you implement your idea, remember it is not YOUR idea! it is the universe expressing itself through you and the others who have joined you to implement it. Give everyone gold stars!! And thank the universe!
    • Jun 8 2012: I will try from now to follow these things, really awsome .
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. challenging what I believed to be my core 'identity'- turns out I'm not who I thought I was!
    2. it is OK to feel vulnerable and to express that to others without feeling shame
    3. that listening to others is more powerful than trying to solve the world's problems
    4. fake it til you make it
    5. always choosing in favour of my passions and if i don't know what they are i write down the times when i am smiling the most
  • Jun 26 2012: 1. You never notice what you got until it's gone
    2. What goes around comes around
    3. Optimism will get you far
    4. Treat others the way you want to be treated
    5. Lower expectations
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      Jun 27 2012: Hi, like 1-4, but disagree with 5. If you have low expectations you cannot be disappointed. But in some cases high expectations can lead to amazing results for example when working with a team on a project.
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        Jun 27 2012: Sebastian, I can't answer for Zidni, and again, remember that each list is a personal one and supposed has changed that person's life, but I think what was meant is not to have "low expectations", but "lower ones" which is a difference. Perhaps those that were had were too high at the time and may have been unattainable due to circumstances beyond the person's control, but since they were lowered a bit, they were met and success followed. Does that make sense???
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    Jun 25 2012: 1) Not to care so much, everything will pass in time.
    2) Tell people you love them every time you see them, you never know when you might not see them again.
    3) LISTEN when people are talking to you, put down your media devices!
    4) Wake up every morning and choose to have a good day.
    5) You can't change anyone, only yourself.
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    Jun 19 2012: 1. I can do anything if I really apply myself to it.
    2. There are only 24 hours a day, and only that many days in a life. Which means potential is nice, but it's worth nothing without focus.
    3. Watch your mind. The ability to quiet your thoughts is the most important one you can acquire.
    4. Listen to your gut feeling, especially when it's very faint.
    5. The things i fear most or am procrastinating are the ones I most need to do. Fear (except when talking about real danger of course) is often a sign you need to push yourself to do.
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    Jun 18 2012: 1. being smart is not enough unless you work hard
    2. thinking of something new is worthless unless you do it.
    3. there is no ultimate goodness.
    4. parents make mistakes too.
    5. delaying your duties only make you more uncomfortable.
  • Jun 18 2012: FONKOU,
    You are a wise young man to ask such a question. So, please share with us too. What are the 5 things you have learned so far, that has changed your life?
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    Jun 17 2012: Learning Philosophy is the greatest thing in the world to me

    1-live your truth - its such a hard thing to do -
    2-learn to meditate to hear the wisdom in your own soul-dont think you know who you are - it takes 21 days to form a habit so start a new good one today and allow it to become a part of who you want to be -
    3-exercise is the greatest tool for fighting the heartaches in life
    4-when you have reason in the mind and love in the heart you'll be fine - if someone hurts you, try to reason with their reasons for doing so and let it slide- you would not sell your happiness for a million dollars so why give it away for free- dont drink the poison intended for your enemies.
    5- if you want a friend be a friend
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    Jun 16 2012: 1.For very complicated things or situation. you need not try to grasp it wholely. you need sample it.That's enough.2.Vulnerability is not a weakness. It is a measure of courage.3.For bad feelings, accept it is very important, you can not erase it from your mind, It is a part of you.4.For a very big problem, try to break it into several small part. A modular strategy.5.Connection is very important to human being. It defines us.
    • Jun 16 2012: Thank you. Those are the lessons I was looking for, not the basic home, hearth thing. We all learn those lessons. I'm not saying basic lessons aren't important, they are. But that is part of the maturing process. The lessons I want to hear about are the ones that make us grow and change. Great pain or deep introspection changes us and gives the true tools we need to live with ourselves.
      You said it very well.
  • Jun 15 2012: 1. I am, as all of us are, guided..."tapped" on the shoulder to take a path, read a book, talk to a stranger or do something that leads us to a place where we progress toward a life purpose.
    2. We are all connected and reconnected to those who somehow help us to achieve a higher consciousness.
    3. I am, as we all are, more powerful than we can imagine...we impact other lives with our every action or thought.
    4. We are a network of souls that have the potential to truly change our world and make it a place where all peoples thrive, where all creatures are respected and nurtured, where the earth is protected and loved.
    5. We cause ourselves the greatest struggle and strife but we have the ability to change all that.
  • Jun 12 2012: 1. Never leave family or dear ones for career/money. If you are able, you'll find a way anywhere.
    2. Happiness is hardest thing to achieve. From billionaires to beggars, everyone has issues. Try to be content with what you have and happiness will follow.
    3. Nothing is permanent and there might be no tomorrow. Don't leave things for tomorrow. Live now, enjoy now.

    I guess that's the three!
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    Jun 12 2012: 1. that ego is the biggest barrier to wisdom and creativity
    2. that it is more important to speak from experience than about experience
    3. that silence in speaking, silence in listening, silence in presence with another is fruitful and yields abundance
    4. that we may not so much possess our expertise as be vehicles for it
    5. that we learn more by talking to people who disagree with us than by talking to people who agree with us.
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      Jun 14 2012: Hey Lindsay! Are these actually things that are instructional to you personally or are they things you think others need to learn?
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        Jun 16 2012: My third attempt at a reply..(the other two disappeared innto the ionosphere)

        These are the 5 principlaes that are now my rule of life and which have literally changed every aspect of my life in fruitful and positive ways

        There is a term ,"concentration without effort"....That's what these 5 principles have brought me. They are fruits of my contemplative practice but in essence they are the wisdom paths of many cultures all over the world back to the beginnings of humanity



        I claim no mastery but just the process of commiting to these 5 elements as a way of life, as a set of guiding principles, streamlines everything I do into a more fluid and effortless transparent and simple engagement. Even simple ordinary tasks like gardening or household chores or ordering the sequence of tasks become easy, fluid, with little conscious thought or effort.



        As to others,

        I never perscribe, judge or make recommendations for others.

        Each of us has a unique path and unique challenges to finally stand in the ground of our being and to live fully from our own authenticity.



        This is my path. This is how I have come closer to achieving that.
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    Jun 12 2012: 1. Everyone will die soon or later.

    2. The people who you love and love you back are irreplaceable.

    3. My parents’ love is like God’s love. They keep giving me their love no matter what I’ve done and I won’t be able to return it no matter how hard I try.

    4. Reading is a humbling experience.

    5. Today is not just another day of your life if you are willing to listen, be curious, and be grateful.
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    Jun 8 2012: 1) it's not all about me.
    2) To serve is greater than to command.
    3) Never hit on a guy's girlfriend when he's got a running chainsaw in his hand.
    4) True love is the comfortable glow of steady embers after the flames of passion have died down. The real trick is to keep blowing on those embers so that they stay lit.
    5) You can't send a message of peace and love on the edge of a sword or the tip of a bullet.
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    Jun 8 2012: my answer is :
    1、love your parents
    2、have a few truely friends
    3、have a good relationship with others
    4、always have goals
    5、having fun in doing your work.
  • Jun 8 2012: 1) How you do anything is how you do everything.
    2) The biggest thing that stops me is me.
    3) Your point of view determines your experience of anything. It is the only thing.
    4) Take time every day to think about 10 things you are grateful for.
    5) We each have something important and valuable to contribute.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1) Understand and forgive. Try to see the world from others' perspective and be compassionate in your every action; those who can hate and murder have known only suffering and not love. Love is something that is taught and learned and if you are lucky enough to have had it in any capacity, you should be wise enough to give it back.
    2) Struggle underlies success. Have a goal for everyday of your life.
    3) The world owes you nothing, and yet offers so many opportunities. It is up to you to act upon them.
    4) Figure out what makes you happy and go find it. People are fragile and life is too short.
    5) Find something beautiful within yourself and never let it go.
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    Jun 7 2012: 2. A few weeks ago, I spoke to a very shy kid in a philadelphia school for a few minutes. When I saw him two weeks later, I introduced him to my son and mentioned this kid's project and interests. You should have seen the smile on his face! Yes you matter.
    3. Rosemarie Greco - the former CEO of CoreStates bank is an inspiration: she was a former nun who went from being a secretary to the CEO of the bank. When she talks to you, you ARE the most important person in the world to her. This is one lesson I try to emulate and pass along to my kids.
    4. Humility is hard but it helps if you have a mission in life.
    5. Jumping out of a plane at 80 ( old Prez Bush) is the best present for your soul! ( have a few years to work up the courage).
    6. Learn to say thank you in 50 languages - another lesson for my kids ( I can probably do 20).

    1. In 4 billion years the Andromeda Galaxy will crash into the milky way and set off spectacular interstellar fireworks that will last 2 billion years, by then the sun would have expanded to a level that makes life impossible on the surface of the earth (Ok, the 2012 freaks were off by a few billion years!). That is real; no matter if you are a tea partier or a tree hugger; born again or atheist; billy graham or the ayotollah. In the face of cosmic events, our differences are minuscule.
    • Jun 8 2012: Thank you for sharing. "Blagodarya" - Thank you in Bulgarian. :)
  • Jun 7 2012: 1) You are as old as you feel.
    2) Words are our most inexhaustible source of magic. Capable of both inflicting injury, and remedying it. (Thank you Dumbledore!)
    3) Be true to yourself because at the end of the day you must live with the decisions you make.
    4) Don't waste your time in caring what people think, it's exhausting.
    5) Make every moment memorable so when your life flashes before you eyes right before you die...it's an amazing sight to see.
    6) (Had to add one more...) Illegitimi non carborundum meaning "Don't let the bastards get you down!"
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. 80% of your success in any job is your ability to deal with people.
    2. Quality, Service, Price. Choose any two.
    3. When you do the right thing, you're hardly every wrong.
    4. Be brave. Even if you're not, pretend to be. No one can tell.
    5. No one cares if you can't dance. Just get up and do it.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Hands down, learning to rock climb has had a profound impact on my life. It has changed how I approach obstacles, how I treat myself and others, as well as just making me a more aware and conscious human being!

    2. As a research scientist, I've realized that things don't go the way they're planned. In fact, with my job, I'm expected to mess up. In life, you should expect to mess up too! I've learned to not get discouraged and to learn with every mistake. Often times you get to where you want to be by making mistakes (just ask Alexander Fleming!). It always works out in the end.

    3. I've learned to always ask questions. Don't be a mean cynic, but definitely don't believe everything you hear and be aware of everything around you. Don't be brainwashed by the crap you hear daily. Ask why. Ask how.

    4. Dogs will never let you down.

    5. GPA doesn't matter. I spend my entire college career obsessing over maintaining good grades and a high GPA. When I applied for my first job, I didn't even put my GPA on my resume and I was hired. Relax, enjoy school, and realize that life experience is the most important thing you can bring to the table.
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      Jun 7 2012: Especially agree with your #1 -- Learning to interact with the environment, in any way, makes a profound impact on your life. It innately breeds conscientiousness of yourself and others. Nothing is better than playing in nature.

      Totally agree with the rest as well. High five to the inquisitive, carefree, and level headed.
  • Jun 7 2012: (1) Life is so very short. Don't waste time.
    (2) Regret is wasted energy. What's done is done, but the present and future are endless possibilities.
    (3) Reading opens your mind to ideas and perspectives and improves the way you see the world, so read as much as you can. Perspective.
    (4) Show the people you love that you love them. My stoical Protestant upbringing has been an emotional albatross. At the end, love and happiness is what matters.
    (5) Don't hesitate to do the things you want to do. Life has a funny way of flying by at light speed. I used to work with a retired cop who was fond of saying, "Life is like a roll of toilet paper, the closer you get to the end the faster it goes". And really, we only really regret the things we wanted to do but did not.
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    Jul 2 2012: 1. Follow your dreams. I'm doing this now and I'm realizing its scary because of how dangerous it might be, but I know that in the end, I will be happy because I will know I tried, and I will know that I will never wonder "what if?"

    2. Love yourself. When you do, life becomes a lot more beautiful.

    3. In the end, everything will be okay. No matter how tough life may seem sometimes, you always have to remember that there is always someone out there in the world that has it a lot worse than you do. And no matter what situation you get yourself into, it'll be okay because life always goes on.

    4. Money is not everything. Money is not the most important thing in life. Money can give that illusion, but never fall for it.

    5. Forgive. Life is too short to hold grudges.
  • Jun 27 2012: I love this(: I'm 23, & these are the greatest lessons I've learned in my life so far.

    1) Only if you can love, respect, & forgive yourself can you then do the same for others. I've learned that walking around in self-pity or unforgiveness towards myself caused me to be blind to the needs of those around me. Understand who you are, & then get your eyes off yourself & onto others.
    2) Love is stronger than death & greater than the darkest of evil. "Love conquers all."
    3) Actively seek out wisdom.
    4)Be careful with your words -- they bring either life or death. It's your choice. Use them as the precious & powerful things they are to us.
    5)Live simply. Not only physically, as with a cluttered house, but mentally & emotionally as well. Be careful not to over analyze situations or throw your heart around. It only brings anxiety. Buy only what you need, do all you you can about a situation & then let yourself move on, love fiercely the one man or woman that is your mate in life.


    Thank you for this great question!
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    Jun 26 2012: 1 Time is a worth while investment to anything
    2 Taking myself out of the picture when I look to my future...you get interesting results.
    3 The people around me are what matter the most
    4 Never to underestimate anyone
    5 Staying true...always honest to yourself.
    This last one is hardest for me.
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      Jun 26 2012: Thank you William:)
    • Jul 2 2012: Thank you William, I like your list of 5 things especially the second one, however I am a bit confused how this could be done?
      "Taking myself out of the picture when I look to my(?) future"
      How could you take yourself out of the picture when you look to your(!) future?
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    Jun 24 2012: HI Fonkou, I hope these help you...

    1) Education is the best and most reliable life insurance you will ever invest in - it will go on paying dividens all your life
    2) If you get the opportunity - travel the world - it will broaden your mind and humble you
    3) Always vote and hold your local politician to account
    4) Live simply - eat real, local, seasonal food - enjoy getting out into nature - don't get carried away with credit and debt
    5) Manners make the man - it is often who you know rather than what you know - good manners will get you noticed.

    Good luck
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      Jun 24 2012: I love those Heather! Thank you!
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        Jun 24 2012: With your beautiful smile you'll go far!
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        Jun 25 2012: Sending you lots and lots of good wishes, Fonkou : ) It was kind of you to give the rest of us a chance to do a little thinking about the things that are important to us. I wish you much happiness and success in your life.
    • Jul 2 2012: I believe that those 5 things will provide some help for more people than Fonkou alone.
      Absolutely loved the first line on education!
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    Jun 22 2012: (continued)

    3. Learn the power of "no". I once believed the more friends I had the better my life would be, and that it was my job to say yes to them as often as I could. Rather than enriching my life, or theirs, I felt weighed down and obliged to bend to the wishes of people who really didn't share my "goals" and "values". These two things are really important, and learning to say "no" to requests, situations and people who are not a good fit in my life is really empowering. It gives me the gift of a smaller but really vital group of people and experiences in my life, who I can give more time to, and who truly make my own path happy and meaningful. Being your "authentic self" is very empowering!

    4. Live life on purpose. I spent the first part of my life embracing "serendipity" (happy accidents). I think being able to recognize coincidences and acting spontaneously when things fit is a great practice. I also find that "choosing" is the activity that I want in the driver's seat. While I love remaining open to the little surprises life presents, and to changing my plans when things fit, I find I most want to choose how my ideal life should look.

    5. Ask lots of questions. Practice "appreciative inquiry" (asking what's right and what works, instead of what's wrong and broken) (http://centerforappreciativeinquiry.net/) and the power of "the positive flip" (instead of saying, "yes, but," reminding myself to say "yes, and..."). These seem like little things, but they've made a big difference in my life. I try to stop waiting for the next opportunity to jump in with my own opinion, and actively listen to what others have to share, and to be open to ideas that may not necessarily match my own. Asking lots of questions gives me the chance to discover wonderful new ideas, people and opportunities I might not otherwise have considered. That's exactly what you're doing here, Fonkou, and it looks like you (and we) have received lots of presents : ) Thank you!
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      Jun 24 2012: Ugh, I loved that! Thank you soo much!
    • Jun 25 2012: As to the comment about "appreciative inquiry" I find that figuring out why something doesn't work can be as helpful, if not more so that finding out what does work. Although knowing what works is important, it often helps if you know why it works ie. what can go wrong. So when in doubt about why something is the way it is... ask for an example of what can happen to make the principle flip.

      BTW I answered your question thinking about mathematics, and what helps me learn, but just like Occam's razor states the simplest solution is usually the best (not always true in math). Keep asking questions and keep making RVA proud by bettering yourself!

      "One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds."
      -Frank Zappa
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    Jun 22 2012: What a great question, Fonkou! You may be young, but you're obviously a lot wiser than some of us are much later in life : ) Here are 5 things that I've learned that have definitely changed my own life:

    1. Start every day by taking a moment to think about something or someone I am thankful for.

    2. Simplify.

    3. Learn the power of "no".

    4. Live life on purpose.

    5. Ask lots of questions.

    I'm going to tuck a note below, sharing a bit about why each of these things has become so important to me, and how I practice them.

    Thank you for asking this question, Fonkou! It gave me the opportunity to sit down and really think about what's important to me, and also to find some wonderful things that other people have shared with you here. What a wonderful thread.

    # # #

    1. Start every day by taking a moment to think about something or someone I am thankful for. If it's a person, take 5 minutes to send a simple email or make a phone call to tell them I was just thinking about them and why. Gratitude sets the tone of the rest of my day. Acting on it returns an abundance of unexpected (re)connections in my life.

    2. Simplify. I've spent years thinking that more was better. I was wrong. I'm about to turn 50 and realize that throwing things out and only keeping the things that truly mean something to me lets me really love being in my personal spaces again. I look around and actually see things, instead of just clutter, and what I see is attached to a memory, or inspires a desire to do something meaningful. It frees me up to act on and enjoy the people and things that I most want in my life.

    (I'll tuck a bit about the last 3 points into another note since this one is full.)
  • Jun 22 2012: 1. talk to people - it's amazing what you can gain just by talking to others - friends, advice, job opportunities, knowledge, perspectives
    2. travel, travel, travel - this opens your mind and makes you realise what's important in life
    3. you make your own destiny - the quicker we learn that, the more successful we will be
    4. have fun ever day - life is precious
    5. get up and go - if you want something in life, stop thinking, start doing.
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    Jun 22 2012: I am still learning at 54 Fonkou but acceptance of oneself as a person warts and all I think is a good place to start
  • Jun 22 2012: 1. Treat your brain like the million dollar super computer it is….and your heart as well…and by doing so your body and mind will sustain you…otherwise your life can go south in a flash.

    2. Love is a choice. There are no soul mates-being “in-love” is a temporary state of being. Loving is a choice you make everyday.

    3. You are in control of your life. Neither your minister, priest, doctor, lawyer, spouse or boss has the answers-to anything. Your happiness-your health-your life-is under your control.

    4. Do you want to have "soul” or have “heart”? Listen to that quite inner voice whispering to you and making your uncomfortable. We are all afraid-be brave.

    5. Life is everything and nothing simultaneously. Good and evil; stable and chaotic; peaceful and destructive. Live the paradox.
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    Jun 19 2012: 1. If there is something in my life that I don't like, I'm the only one who can change it.

    2. Admitting my mistakes to myself is the first thing to do to make up for them.

    3. My right may not be somebody else's right. Everybody's different.

    4. Knowing the right time to say the right thing is one of the hardest things to get right.

    5. Blaming things that you can't change on fate/ destiny can help you focus on things you can...
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      Jun 21 2012: Reshema, thanks for an earnest and self reflective list!
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    Jun 16 2012: I would definately not be where I am today without these 5 changes:

    1. Potty training

    2. Stop picking my nose

    3. Taught to bathe

    4. Dressing myself

    5. Sharing my toys.

    Learning begins on Momma's knee. Remember the hand that rocks the craddle rules the world.

    All the best. Bob.
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    Jun 14 2012: 1. Vision without action is a daydream, action without vision is a nightmare (i did this for 10 years) ,vision with action is a fulfilling dream.
    2. No matter what you do in life it should be something you love and have passion for it. Don't settle for anything else.
    3. Love. If you do not love yourself you cant expect others to love you. That doesn't mean being a selfish, but rather appreciate yourself. Love life, mother nature, friends and family, humanity. Love every sunrise you see.
    4. In school I was first thought a lesson and then given a test. In life I was given a test, after which was thought a lesson .
    5. My time is my best possession and it is priceless, and so I cannot afford to waste it
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    Jun 14 2012: 1. Learn how to learn. Everything else is just research.

    Learning how to learn involves first deciding what the important questions are, and then breaking those questions down into concepts. You then take those concepts and research them, and from that research, you can draw conclusions.

    2. From Religion to Science, there is no "truth". As Timothy Leary put it: Think for yourself, question authority.

    "Truths" are really just theories that have withstood some level of scrutiny without being disproven - yet every year we find a handful of things we were so certain to be true, changed before our very eyes in light of new evidence.

    But how do you prove to someone, blind since birth, that the sky is blue? The second part to remember is that even when there IS popular consensus - all the "truth" in the universe ends with your perception of it.

    3. Seek to learn concepts over facts....but do care about the facts.

    School tends to pressure people down the path of demonstrating knowledge via the memorization of facts - this is a horrible system. Einstein himself said that you should never memorize something that can be looked up. Rather than devoting so much brain power to the details - spend more time understanding the concepts and meanings behind WHY that thing exists and how it relates to the world around it. This goes hand in hand with #1 - understanding how things relate is a key component in understanding how to learn.

    Having said that, it's still important to spend time looking at facts so that the concepts you adopt aren't misguided. The world is filled with people who have blindly adopted concepts for which they have not personally vetted.

    4. Nothing bad in your universe is permanent.

    We really are masters of our own realities - some things may feel completely insurmountable, but dedication and effort can and will overcome them. Most of the time, it's just insecurity or ego that gets in the way.

    5. Spiral out - keep going.

    IMHO, the point of life..
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    Jun 13 2012: 1) Your real home is where your mom is. I love my mom.
    2) Failure is not the opposite of Success it is part of IT.
    3) If you in a war & winning it, believe me you are still loosing it.'
    4) What we have is what we are given by our community. We need to give something back.
    5) Helping one human is helping all humanity & vice versa.
    6) & then the one I have shared in many occasions in TED. Even impossible has the word possible.
  • Jun 12 2012: 1. It doesn't matter what you think or say, only actions do;
    2. hope is a dangerous thing;
    3. being honest makes your life easier;
    4. money can buy time;
    5. your attention is much more valuable than just your time.
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    Jun 12 2012: Great question. Here are mine.
    1. Control is an illusion.
    2. The only constant is change.
    3. True freedom can only be found when you speak truth.
    4. Wisdom is greater than science.
    5. To love, and to be loved is the only measure of success that matters.
  • Jun 10 2012: 1. Being honest and true to myself
    2. Having the strength to face new challenges
    3. Accept things I cannot change
    4. There are more similarities amongst people than there are differences
    5. I have still so much to learn
  • Jun 9 2012: 1. There is no short cuts
    2. Self realization is more important than money.
    3. Your word is your most important asset. Do not lie if it is not necessary.
    4. You need your own code of conduct. Do not change it because other people.
    5. Respect your family. In the end, they are the only one that you can count.
  • Jun 8 2012: A great question...in fact one of the 5 things I learnt that changed my life is

    1) Ask questions - there's no such thing as a daft question
    2) You are the change - no one else can change your direction or quality of life except your own actions
    3) Start now - never wait for the 'right time / person / moment' - it is now.
    4) Be positive - positive thoughts are powerful, a driving force in life, be positive about yourself
    5) Trust yourself - your instincts and own advice is good, it's ok to listen to others but in the end you know what is right for you.
  • Jun 8 2012: i have learned for better life :
    1.see more
    2.hear more
    3.laugh more
    4.forgive but dont forget
    5.dont judge people
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. Always be yourself, and always be honest.2. Do what you love.3. No matter how hard it will be. Don't be afraid to take on new challenges.4. Never hate your enemies.5.Things are beautiful only if you think they are.
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. Everything can change and my being is still me
    2 live in the now
    3 to force my religious belief is degrading to other peoples humanity
    4 life is not without purpose, there is dignity in all of life
    5 yes, it does all matter
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. Make efforts in things you can change, because there are plenty of things in life you can't change.
    2. Don't always try to be right. Choose to be happy.
    2. It's not enough to just "think outside the box". You gotta try to decompose the box and then re-assemble it in different ways.
    4. True happiness comes from having a sense of inner peace and contentment, which in turn must be achieved by cultivating altruism, love and compassion, and by eliminating anger, selfishness and greed.
    5. Education is the root to social progress.
  • Jun 8 2012: .
    1: Forgive yourself. Everyone makes mistakes.

    2: Writing in a journal is a helpful tool in letting things go. There are often times where something happened to me during the course of the day that just sticks with me and festers. "why didn't I say this to that person" or "How dare they do this". The simple act of writing your thoughts out in a journal is very therapeutic. (and you never know if you want to write a book about yourself one day. a ongoing journal will make it easy to write)

    3: Don't wait. Do you like that girl or that guy? thinking about going to collage? Want to pick up reading again? whatever it is, don't wait. Waiting usually only prolongs everything and most of the time it will never happen. How long have you been thinking of going back to school? If you started when you first thought of it would you be done by now? Since you didn't talk to that person you liked, how long has it been since you first met, has it been so long that it's just weird to be anything more then you are now? Did you ever get around to making that vacation trip? Most of the time it's not the right time for anything and if we only did things when it's the right time we would never do anything or get anything done. Don't wait, jet started today.

    4: Play the game: I've always seen "brown nosers" and "fake" people in a bad lite and never liked them (think political figures who say things they don’t mean). Anyone acting in a way that is not real bothered me and I would never do that. But the simple act of maybe showing a little more interest and "playing the game" would have gone a long way and making work/life a lot better. Being true to your self is one thing. but not doing something only for the sake of 

    5:There are always more then one way to view something. Think about all other side and the other views to really understand something.

    6: Don't settle for doing the bare minimum required, list 6 things even though you only need 5.
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    Jun 8 2012: 1) You must be passionate at what you do to truly impact the world.
    2) You are the only one who can stop you from moving forward.
    3) I am not in control of my future. But I am in control of my present. So I must always live in it. Live in the moment, and make the most of every second of it.
    4) Live selflessly. Create and contribute for the purpose to enhance other's lives, not just your own.
    5) I will die one day.
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. Say yes, unless you absolutely have to say no. This had led me to numerous adventures I would not have had otherwise.
    2. Life is not about winning, it is about sharing the journey with others. Surround yourself with those you want to spend your life with.
    3. People think about you a lot less than you think they do. That “ugly look” they are giving you is probably just gas.
    4. Most decisions are not mutually exclusive. Don’t artificially limit your options.
    5. Figure out what thrills you, then intentionally pursue that.
  • Jun 7 2012: Five things that I have just learned:

    1. There is no good and evil, it's something beyond that
    2. Love exists, I have my very own sky and clouds, love is when your sky is as much blue as mine
    3. Suffering is just part of life, in other case the christian God would not send his son to death
    4. Do live your life, people around are not the pointers
    5. You are not a God, take what comes, best as you can.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. Misery is actually the biggest and best motivator to change your life for the better.

    2. Your thoughts create your life...you are what you think about...what you think about becomes true for you.

    3. Your emotions and desires are an illusion. But that voice in your head is both your intuition guiding you and your adversary (or ego) disrupting you...make the right choice - go with the angel instead of the devil.

    4. If people don't appreciate you; leave them. If you don't like what you do for work; find a different job. If you hate where you are; go somewhere else.

    5. The most important things in life are love and laughter. But also being of service and a sense of purpose...if you don't know what that is, then your purpose is to find out!
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    m k

    • +3
    Jun 7 2012: 1. Personal relations are MUCH more important than physical valuables.
    2. Don't remain attached to your past, be it good or bad. Just MOVE ON and try to enjoy every moment of present but beware that it doesn't harm your future.
    3. DON'T waste your time (especially on on virtual world).
    4. Life is not same for all, don't interpret your future life on the basis of friend's/others' experience. Listen to all, act on your own.
    5. MUST make a bucket list and live everyday trying work toward completing it. Also, keep adding items, otherwise, once it is full you will have nothing to do !!
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    Jun 7 2012: My first Kiss, show me how love really feels like.
    That nothing in live is definitive, it help's me understand that life change and is ok
    To travel the world, learned how every one see reality
    Eat everything, food tells you about the culture
    To drink wine , i lear to laugh more
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    Jun 7 2012: 1) be grateful for your chance of life, stay aware of improbability of life’s origins; when you feel weak - look at the sky, take breath in and think a while about the great questions, as universe, origins of life, infinity - then try to compare it with your problems - it will make you smile

    2) respect animals and help as far as possible, think about them as our ancestors, notice their lifes and aims, be aware of darwinian evolution and natural selection - finally, we’re descendants of the stronger ones - if we’re alive; remember to use your consciousness wisely

    3) avoid uncritical altruism - take benefits (as satisfaction and joy) from helping others, but never feel to be condemned to serve others - your life is unique and precious, as well as short - don’t sacrifice yourselt to the others

    4) don’t judge anyone, respect their freedom of choice; help weaker ones, but don’t expect gratitude for your help

    5) lower your expectations about others - you will be much calmer and happier, expect as much as possible from yourself, work hard, try to make difference and have your own contribution to the life
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. If you keep doing things the same way, the result will never change.
    2. Sync your mind and your heart, don't let one of the two get the upper hand.
    3. Use your energy on people and issues that are worth the effort.
    4. Humanity cannot destroy the universe, only itself - luckily :)
    5. Learn to SCUBA dive.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1) Happiness is a conscious state of being, one that you have to constantly work for to maintain
    2) The only person you can count on is yourself. Stop relying on other people to give you what you need.
    3) Humanity's superpower is the ability to adapt. If you want something but you're afraid you won't be able to handle the changes, stop worrying. Let yourself go for it, and you will naturally do what it takes to make it work.
    4) Be real - people will respect you for it, you'll be happier, and you'll make connections with people you actually want to have around.
    5) Realize you could die today - it'll give you the courage to stop making lists and start living life.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1,- Learn to ride a bike
    2.- Learn to Read
    3.- Understand the loneliness
    4.- Time goes by so fast, enjoy the moments
    5.- When people die, there are moments of extreme clarity where you realize that really matters in life (Patricia May)
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    Jun 7 2012: 1) Life is unfair
    2) Not virtues, but economics drives rules of everyday life
    3) The longer you are in denial of the first two, the longer you will suffer
    4) Goodness is under-rated, but it is possible for one to be "good" if we put our mind to it. (Goodness = absence of bias, hatred, jealousy, vengeance AND presence of empathy)
    5) God is the most under-understood concept in the world, yet wars have been fought, entire civilizations have disappeared because of it
    6) Status Quo is the #1 enemy of human beings
    7) (You asked for 5, but hey,) We got to make our own rules
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. Keep my expectations under my level of gratitude.
    2. Argue constructively.
    3. Adaptability is more advantageous than strength.
    4. I never really understood how much my parents loved me until I had children.
    5. A job you don't like will make you miserable AND the people who care about you miserable.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Always have curiosity to ask, think, solve, and create: Life will never bore you, live a life to express, not impress and bring out the best of you in everything that you do
    2. That there are such things as romantic possibilities and organised uncertainty: Everywhere life takes you, embrace it. Risk creates reality.
    3. People come and go, but you can always choose to honor and love them: And be kind.
    4. It's okay to be human: Errors are also a way to grow, its all an addition of color and sound to life.
    5. There is always a silver lining: Be patient, thankful and brave, willpower grows that way.

    That's among my life changing lessons to spare.
    Cheers and all the best!
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Dont try to change others, change yourself
    2. Running, squash and other sports help me find 'flow'
    3. Friends are more important than environment
    4. Setting achievable but challenging goals regularly is very satisfying
    5. You really can achieve anything if you put your mind to it
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    Jun 7 2012: 1-Follow thoughts not people
    2-Change your living environment to stay fresh (travel)
    3-Do not judge books (people) by their cover (appearance)
    4-Expect the best but plan for the worst
    5-Always there should be a plan B
  • Jun 7 2012: A true friend loves you in good times and bad and always, always has your back.
    The world isn't just a place where we co-exist, it is what we make it.
    The power of positive thinking is boundless.
    Knowledge is power.
    There is nothing in the world like sitting down with a great book.
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    Jul 4 2012: Learning photography allowed me to see the world as an extraordinary place again

    Learning to compose music allowed me to express how I was really feeling in ways far greater than words

    Learning Martial Arts taught me how important peace and compassion are.

    Learning that nothing truly ends, everything just takes on another form was profoundly liberating

    Learning that faith, love, learning and art are the meaning of my life :)
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    Jul 3 2012: 1. Matter, light and spirit are merely different notes on the same scale.
    2. Approached as equals, you can talk to anyone, from rocks to trees to lizards to the universe.
    3. That our creator sun is my friend because he/she's always looking over my shoulder and smiling.
    4. "That which is not present in deep dreamless sleep is not real." (Tamil Saint, Ramana Maharshi)
    5. The resonant, sounding breath is the self-arising (relaxed) manifestation of deep, dreamless sleep.
    Rest in it while awake and -- guess what happens? Cats will think that you've found the purrl in the lotus.
  • Jun 27 2012: 1. Keep you friends as close as possible.
    2. Never not do something out of fear. Have a logical reason.
    3. Pursue as many things as possible, but don't be afraid to let some go.
    4. An act of kindness can work miracles.
    5. People come and go in life, both through death and other means.

    But I still have many years to revise and add to this list (hopefully).
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    Lejan .

    • +2
    Jun 27 2012: 1) Nightfall is a matter of location
    2) There is a multitude of realities
    3) Sincerity is not mandatory
    4) The blind spots of my eyes are 'filled in' by my brain
    5) The meaning of life is 42 (by Douglas Adams)

    The order is more or less chronological, a whole list will be completed on my last day, yet each of these eye-opener so far did pretty much change my world as I knew it before.

    Any positive insight was and still is a true delight, whereas the others are only part of ones plain life experience... ;o)
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    jing du

    • +2
    Jun 26 2012: These are the 5 things that changed my life
    1,learning English
    2,Internet
    3,dog which tought me to lead a simple life.
    4,The Shawshank Redemption and The Legend of 1900 these two movies inspired me to find my own "ship".
    5,noticed that everyone is different,and we all will die.
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      Jun 26 2012: Jing, I have read all of these, yet for some reason I think most could identify with two of yours which are so simple, yet have changed the lives of millions, and that is learning English since it is the language of business and WAS the language of the internet, and the internet itself. We are reaching out to people and growing closer as a world like we never would have without this invention/discovery.

      And your number 3 was so touching as well, for again, it is so simplel.....but I must confess that really, your #1, for some weird reason, brought tears to my eyes....

      Regards from Florida
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        Jun 26 2012: Linda thank you for your explanation of my points. happy!
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    Jun 26 2012: Hmmm... ya know what, Fonkou?? I think this thread would be great for a TED published book once it is done as there are some books, articles and websites out there already in this vein, but your "twist" is the second part of your question "that completely changed your life". You could do some background on this topic, delve more into YOU and your discoveries at your tender age (as I think you have a story to tell), and then weave in these stories (with permission of course and possibly more explanations as to WHY they did), and finally draw some sort of conclusions. I think it could be a winner as I read every single response and feel so humbled by this global group of people. :-)



    Regards....
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      Jun 26 2012: I love your idea Linda! Thank you so much. So do you want me to like write a book? I get what you are saying but not completely, I want to be sure. Tell me more! I am defiantly interested! Thanks!
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        Jun 26 2012: Yes, Fonkou, that is exactly what I think you should do. There are books and articles written already with this same theme (just google: "What I have learned" and you will find them), but what makes yours a bit different (and the "hook") is that your statement also asks that they be life-changing.

        Look at Ron Gutman's book that was published by TED called "Smile: The Astonishing Powers of a Simple Act" on the Amazon site to see a preview (but you may need to buy it to see totally what I mean).

        How it is set up is it begins with a personal story and then goes into researched information about smiling and its power. Within that are interspersed personal examples of him again and others (but which I really expected to see way more of). Then it ends with a drawn conclusion. I think this would be a good format for you to use. :-) However, with your examples from here, I think some may need to be asked HOW these things changed their lives and maybe a blurb of who they are, so there are not just continual lists. Now since they are already public, I am not sure if you need permission to use them in another format, so that you will have to research as well. I think too, you could write celebrities or anyone who is famous and I am sure a few will answer you; but be sure to get written permission to use them as well.

        I don't know, but at times I seem to know what people would find interesting, and that is why I have been successful in the classroom and have successfully helped two of my author friends add some elements to their works when I edited them that they were happy with as well as their readers when they get feedback; and I really think people would want to read something like this as I know I would. However, you can maybe ask some here who already have responded to your thread to see if they concur even though with almost record of the "thumbs up" is telling by itself. :-)

        What a way this would be for you to make some $$$$ for college. :-)
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          Jun 26 2012: Thank you so much dear for the idea! You are such an intelligent woman! I have been thinking about it since yesterday, and I will see what I can do! Thank you again so much. I started another thread about the book. I need all the help I can get!
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    Jun 25 2012: Welcome to the community, Fonkou! Reminds me I have to get my daughters on here as well :) There are so many lessons to learn and it's hard to nail it down to just 5. For me right now I'd encourage you to think about these:

    1. Everything changes. The key to not only surviving those changes, but actually enjoying them is to stay at the eye of the hurricane and watch with wonder as it passes.

    2. Find the good first. Although there are plenty of bad things to see in life, if you make it a habit of identifying the positive first, you are in a better mindset to handle the negative effectively.

    3. Question your motives when you have the urge to say "no". Sometimes we need to say no to people or situations, but ask yourself WHY am I saying no? You may find that you're turning down what could be a fantastic opportunity for growth because of fear or laziness.

    4. You're stronger than you think you are. When we feel physically or mentally defeated, it's easy to want to give up. If it's something truly important, though, our being has a way of getting through it. Understanding that changing your state can change the outcome is incredibly powerful.

    5. Listen to those who are different from you. This means anyone you respect who is older (they've had more years of experience and have things to share), has lived differently (they have a unique perspective you won't have), or can teach you something of value that you didn't know before. I emphasize the respect part here. Not all of our elders are necessarily wise and just because someone is different doesn't necessarily mean they are kind, balanced, or interesting. Find souls you are drawn to and discover what makes them unique. Learn from that.

    Best of luck to you, Fonkou. I look forward to seeing your comments throughout TED.
  • Jun 25 2012: ...
    1. Talk is cheap, rely on people's actions.
    2. Truth trumps all.
    3. Determination and will-power create success.
    4. I am responsible.
    5. It isn't all about me.
  • Jun 23 2012: My life would have been a lot easier if I had known these things earlier in life:
    1. Real estate agents, lawyers - basically anyone you do business with has their own interests at heart. Even a lawyer that is representing you wants to spend as little time as possible on your case even if it means you will suffer great consequences - it's all about the money. Same with real estate agents. They just want to close the deal quickly and if it means you will lose money, too bad for you. Many of them will try to sell you a house you cannot afford and don't care if you lose the house or have to eat pork and beans the rest of your life.

    2.Unfortunately there are parents that will deny anything bad they have done to you. Some people have egos that do not allow them to deviate from their definition of reality and that reality is of their making. There are even parents that claim they love you, but will not help you with homework or protect you from a person that is hurting you. Don't listen to words - look at actions.

    3.There are people out there who will be on your side. I hope you will find them.

    4.Save money. At least 10% of your income. If you are thinking about getting married discuss with your intended how they feel about finances. Live below your means.

    5. Try to live an honorable life. You will be one of the few. Our world needs such people.

    6. In most cases it is true that it is who you know rather than how much you know that has to do with you getting a job.

    7. If at all possible keep in touch with your family. They are your roots in life. Generally friends come and go, but family remains.
    • Jun 25 2012: Hi Sandra, I am sorry to hear of your mistreatment by professionals but wish you had used "some" or even "most".... .cause some of us have put our clients interests ahead of our own interests and been badly burned by our clients. It is a sad reality that we can not trust the 'world" in general.
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    Jun 22 2012: well when i was a kid i always asked questions about everything which led me to not understand anything and did poorly in school because i was never satisfied with the answers to the questions that were gave to me but after dropping out of school and lived life for a while it wasn't until a year ago i had an epiphany where i realized that the whole time growing up i asked a lot of questions but i wasn't asking the right questions and that was the "key" if you will to unlocking my passion for learning and asking questions about everything and asking the right questions to learn and understand things for the first time in my life and loving life everyday. Your still a kid and have came to what i thought was so profound. You have a very bright future ahead of you and never stop asking questions makes life interesting. sorry not 5 things but the one that made the biggest impact
  • Jun 21 2012: 1. Be true to yourself. Nobody knows the true you except yourself, to everyone else you have many faces - parent, partner, child, colleague, friend etc. If you lie to yourself what the point!
    2. Love - it's precious! With children your love has no end. With family members it's a bit hit and miss as you can't choose your family. With friends - surround yourself with love and trust as you can choose your friends.
    3. Money. I have learnt alot with money. Don't be greedy, I am happy with just enough to get through life. Don't be fooled with quick money making schemes, to accumulate you have to work hard for it. And lastly money is not the road to true happiness.
    4. Death. There isn't anyway around this, it will happen eventually, so accept it and make memories through your life, you will live on through people's memories and hearts. Stand out and make them remember you when you have gone. Losing someone you love is one of the hardest things to cope with. It will never 'get better' but you learn to live with it and one day you can remember and smile at the memories and know you still have love for them in your heart.
    5. The Human Race! Well we have been round a long time now but we won't last forever. I have learnt the Human Race can be cruel, greedy, volient and arrogant. But I have also seen and learnt we can be beautiful, caring, generous and humble.

    All these have changed me and I expect alot more experiences to come as well.
  • Jun 21 2012: 1. people that bother you are very much like you
    2. the attitude of gratitude trumps all
    3. most of the worlds problems can be solved with more shelving
    4. turn around and talk to the person on line; they have something to tell you
    5. after attending your funeral the first thing on the mind of the attendees will be "is there anything to eat"
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    Jun 19 2012: As much as i want to be in my own world, there are people in this one that need me here
    I may find joy in exclusion, but the person that I am says to the universe all opposite things
    excepting truth is hard depending on how you take it
    I love what normal does in chaos
    money is something needed but not wanted, an ink stamped paper is nothing more than what I say it is and what most will agree it is.
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      Jun 21 2012: Bryant, it seems to me that you are sharing from your own life well lived. thanks for sharing!
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        Jun 21 2012: Yes, I am, sad thing is that all that I have done is a testimony to who I am and short cuts for those who walk similar paths.
  • Jun 19 2012: 1. We only ever have this moment so live in it completely, be present to life.
    2. We are limitless beings, our realities are only limited by our own mental frameworks, beliefs and expectations.
    3. Love is the only truth.
    4. Through feeling we become wise, through thinking we become knowledgeable.
    5. We are eternal, spiritual beings, it is thorough experience that this can be realized. One can not gift the other who disbelieves that which they have experienced, nor should they try and convince them of eternal life as each man has its journey.
  • Jun 18 2012: 1. LOVE :Oneself, family, friends, whom or whatever you believe in spiritually, LOVE WITH ALL YOU HAVE IN YOU.
    2. PERSERVERANCE: In all you do. IT'S WHAT MAKES THE IMPOSSIBLE POSSIBLE.
    3. CURIOSITY: It will keep you young, in mind and heart. IT'S THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE NEW WIDGET.
    4. LEARN: About everything. All the time. AND never stop.
    5. TIME: Is precious. SAVOR EVERY MINUTE. DON'T WASTE YOUR TIME.
  • Jun 17 2012: Among the 5 things, at least 2 things are from this TED community.
    --Be open-minded. The world is full of innovation and creative people.
    --Be positive. If you decide to look on the bright side of the world, you can take good opportunities.
    --Don't be passive. But rather be aggressive and active. Not every information you get is the truth.
    You need to be discreet and also you should be able to express your opinion freely wherever you go.

    The rest of things are from my experience and the books I've read.

    --be sociable and treat every person you meet with respect.
    Most importantly, you need to love them. Once you love someone and show him/her your generosity,
    he/she will treat you as exactly what you did to him/her.
    --be responsible for your life.
    study, invest for yourself, and develop your potential as long as you can.
  • Jun 16 2012: 1. Active listening. Hearing what someone says isn't enough - you have to make them feel listened to.

    2. Framing arguments. Just to use some modern political examples: "Death tax" vs "estate tax" frame the argument in different ways. Another great one is framing the entire gay equality issue in "gay marriage" rather than "you can be fired because you're gay." Another one is framing immigration policy by "amnesty," a word that a lot of latinos won't understand. Another one is "job creators." All of these terms are used to intentionally frame arguments in different ways.

    3. A lot of success is just luck. We're trained to think that working hard is what causes success, but the reality is that a lot of it is just being in the right place at the right time.

    4. Challenge convention. A lot of people will try to force you into conventional ways of thinking. Religion is a great tool for doing this, but it happens all over the world. My philosophy teacher once said that "Progress isn't answering questions, but asking new ones," and she's largely right. If you look at society now, our greatest "advancements" weren't the decisions, but asking the questions. For example, when the slaves were freed, but when people started asking "is slavery fair?" For centuries, no one had even bothered to ask the question. 75 years ago, no one even bothered to ask "should we allow gay marriage?" The fact that we're openly debating it now is a huge leap forward.

    5. Don't waste time. You've got a very short life. Don't waste time doing stuff that doesn't matter. Find something you're passionate about, and maximize your odds of success by practice and learning. A lot of kids and people will waste hours on hours doing stuff that's a total waste - don't be one of them!
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    Jun 14 2012: These are the 5 things I learned that changed my life entirely:

    1. How internet really works.

    2. How to Google a thing. Being curious and not settling with anything unknown until I explore and learn it.

    3. How to draw and doodle

    4. How to give a damn and think big

    5. CouchSurfing, seeing new places and meeting new people.
  • Jun 14 2012: 1) Time and health are the most valuable assets I will ever have.
    2) Trust your instincts/heart when dealing with people.
    3) Don't let people without dreams discourage you from following yours.
    4) Happiness is a choice, and you can be happy no matter how much you earn or where you live.
    5) If you do what you love everything else will follow. Don't be afraid of letting go of things that are not meant to be part of your life..
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      Jun 15 2012: It seems to me, Narges that unfortunately there are many people without dreams and that they feel the lack and try to substitute generalized rules in their place- yikes!
  • Jun 13 2012: It worries me to see so many contributors putting family on their lists! A couple of years ago I would have done this but now since my Mom died in 2010 my father and siblings have totally ostracised me. They are very rich and my husband and I chose to work in low paid caring professions; now I have MS and am unable to work which puts us way out of their league!
    At last I am beginning to understand what people like the Dalai Lama and Buddhists are talking about - one is really alone and any associations are essentially temporary - like my teenagers growing up and moving on with their lives! It is natural and inevitable - nothing is permanent; that would be one of your five things.
    Now because of my change in circumstances - from city 'high-flyer' to bed-ridden invalid with broadband - I meet many people in hospital outpatients and pain Management who are dependant, feel helpless and suffer from depression; it has really opened my eyes to the dimensions of vulnerability in our modern wealthy societies that busy, rich, employed people simply do not notice.
    Five is a whole number and I feel unable to quantify what I have learned in quite the way you expect! Rather I find a useful metaphor is to see life as a journey. For most of us the route may have sections on the equivalent of rails with infrequent stations or on roads with choices at more frequent junctions But sooner or later we may have to strike out into stranger territory and plot a path - being careful to avoid pits that lurk along the way:one can fall in and need to extricate ourselves (eg depression and bad times when events conspire against us). I'm afraid that Nietzsche's unpleasant claim 'That which does not kill us makes us stronger' does seem more relevant now then when I first came across it as a Philosophy undergraduate aged 18!
    Finally I would offer you the realisation that LOVE is what it is cracked up to be - a genuine liking and affection for one's fellow humans is/will be our salvation
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      Jun 14 2012: Hi Carla,

      Your response touched me and I wanted to reach out to you.
      I'd love to share and gift something to you to support you with your journey.
      If you'd like, please connect with me at mirabella(at)liveinwonder.com, and for some immediate inspiration in the meantime, please play around at www.liveinwonder.com Your journey and light are a powerful example of why we are doing what we're doing. Sending lots of love.

      warmly,
      Mirabella
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      Jun 14 2012: Fascinating response Carla, but does it answer the actual question which is "What are 5 things you have learned that has completely changed your life?"
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    Jun 9 2012: 1. Nobody else needs you unless you are present.
    2. A life full of great memories leaves no room for regret.
    3. Nothing of substance is easy.
    4. If you can lose it, throw it away, break it, have it stolen, grow old of it, or regret it,
    it was never worth having anyway.
    5. Having a good memory is useless if all it does is remind you.
  • Jun 8 2012: All of this is good advice. I’m not a religious person, but even the advice along those lines is good, if it falls in line with who you are as a person. Just remember to keep asking questions with the goal of the truth, not just verifying what you believe.
    At 16 I would have thought what everyone has posted was just a bunch of rehashed clichés. I would have questioned their actual understanding of what they say and their true value. But, as I live I gain a deeper understand of what has been posted and how these things govern your life, whether you accept them or not, so embrace them. Here’s my 5:

    1 Never be afraid to ask questions.
    Knowledge is the key to understanding.

    2 Always be yourself.
    No false pretenses

    3 Be honest to yourself.
    This will help you identify your passions, filter information, and better communicate with others.

    4 Purse any and all of your passions.
    Passions can come in short consuming bursts or long winding rivers, and no matter which one it is, purse it with everything you have. Because, however long it lasts, you will enjoy the experience your whole life.

    5 There are some things you can’t control.
    None of which matter if you focus on the 4 previous things.

    As a side note –
    What is it about this question that has most people (myself included) posting “self-help” information instead of facts about economics, or science, etc…?

    Are these the "life changing" things we think of because: once we choose a life philosophy we are not likely to use facts to change our lives, but instead adapt them into the paradigms we use to guide our lives?

    Do we use the technique of forming basic philosophies because of human memory limitations?
    (I’ll stop my question cascade there lol)
  • Jun 8 2012: 1.Plan your life when you are young. But Change it emeadetly!
    2.Everything change.
    3.Digg where you stand.
    4.Dot live your neigbors life.
    5.A new Porche is fun for,lets say 3 weeks.. Then its normal for yoy and your friends!
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. That there are many wise words uttered by great people across history.......
    2. That at least most - if not all - of them are true in some context.......
    3. It takes almost a lifetime for anyone to decipher what is good in what context.....
    4. "Life is something that happens to us when we are busy doing something else."
    5. The better way to live life is to have convictions strong enough to command enough efforts to keep oneself interestingly conjoined with the procession of life..........
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    Jun 8 2012: Chronologically:
    1. Drawing
    2. Take responsibility for yourself
    3. English
    4. Adobe Photoshop
    5. Take responsibility for others
  • Jun 8 2012: 1: Fractals dominate natural phenomena
    2: We're all made of waves in fields of things I know nothing about
    3: There's an almost endless sea of unknowns in our own bodies surrounded by an ocean of unknowns in the universe, so being bored just means curiosity is being beaten out by something else
    4: Sleeping 8 hours a night consistently is more important than being the best at something
    5: Physics through chemistry through biology affects every asset of our lives down to "free" will
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    Jun 8 2012: 1. I am a lot smarter than my early teachers told me I was - in fact most people are smarter than they think they are.
    2. In learning to be kind to others I learnt to be kind to myself - kindness matters more than you think it will when young.
    3. Knowing you can choose not to but still completing a task of duty or obligation is more rewarding than you would think.
    4. Believing that you have the freedom to choose your path/work is important for mental heath
    5. The things you regret are the things you didn't do
  • Jun 8 2012: 1. Statistics. Probabilities affect pretty much every decision we make and an awareness of that can help us make much better decisions and, more importantly, to get over irrational fears.

    2. How to learn. Knowledge changes quickly these days, and the only way to keep up is learning how to learn.

    3. Assume the best. So many hurt feelings and fights can be avoided by assuming that people around you meant whatever they said in the best possible way.

    4. To question everything. Whether it be by ignorance or willful misinformation, so much of the data presented to us is completely incorrect and the only way to figure it out for sure is to question all of it.

    5. Emotional self-awareness. It's shockingly easy to just decide to be happy, but first you have to be aware that you're not happy at the moment.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. Patience-can give me a lot of time in solving major problems, 2. Technology-can give me tools & information that makes my life easier, 3. Discipline-gets me always ready for everyday tasks thru the day, 4. Faith-helps me find comfort that someone is always watching over me, 5. Grattitude-helps me to always know where i am and where i can go......
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. All the colors of light mixed together become white
    2. Rat fleas caused the Bubonic Plague and consequently changed the world
    3. Neural info jumps the synaptic cleft
    4. Human beings deliberately devise means of torture
    5. Wisteria predictably blooms early in the Spring
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      Jun 8 2012: Hey Kelley,
      Did you know that most new Wisteria plants will not bloom for 7 years? You might be able to knock off some time if you 'stress' the roots- usually by cultivating around the roots. I think there is a metaphor in there somewhere!
  • Jun 7 2012: 5 things I’ve learned that completely changed my life (in no particular order):

    1. Be fastidiously grateful. Assiduously avoid taking any single detail in my life for granted, it will be gone before I know it. Love it, hug it, kiss it, relish in its absolute wonderfulness in my life.
    2. Happiness is a choice. Looking around, some people have it worse than me and they’re happier than me! Go figger.
    3. One never knows what’s around the corner. One minute I was curled up in a ball at the back of my closet with nothing but sobs and darkness. The next year I had a baby and his father in my life – two of the happiest things in my life.
    4. Who I want to be is who I truly am. Not who I happen to be at some moment, not my flaws, not my mistakes, not even the environmental factors of my childhood. The fairy princess in combat boots and perfect hair – yep, that’s really me.
    5. Being a victim gives me the most dangerous license to be the worst kind of victimizer - one who denies culpability. Bad things happen to us all, but never never never forget that I have the power to change that. Like a soft baby turtle with its tummy exposed in the wild, gotta flip over asap and just keep on truckin.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. If you want change in your life identify the negative behaviours and cease them. A good start is to try as far as possible to excise from your life all the people that make you feel miserable.
    2. No-one is perfect and trying to be perfect will make you ill and insecure. Forgive yourself and others. They will value your understanding.
    3. Control and security are illusions. The greatest power is given not taken. The greatest security is your ability to withstand and adapt to change.
    4. You are much more likely to succeed if you undertake tasks that you enjoy and are good at. It's worth spending some time identifying these.
    5. Cats know the secret to life the universe and everything, but they're not telling. However if you share your life with a cat and observe them closely you will understand the best priorities and attitudes.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1) Everything in the Universe is interconnected, and it all springs from the same stellar ancestry.

    2) The planet from which my species originates is but a speck in a planetary system, which is but a speck in a galaxy, which is hardly even a speck in the Universe, and which might be but a speck in the Multiverse.

    3) "You" are not in control of what you believe, think, or do (free will is an illusion - or rather, there is no isolated "you" separate from everything else) and the space and time "your" particular atom structure forms in determines everything - and we are but in the beginning of this grand cosmic voyage in space and time. Also implied is that there is no such thing as "death", but only transformation from one form to another, in which the emerged consciousness "resets" and a part of the Universe takes yet another glimpse of itself subjectively - so to speak.

    4) No individual can absolutely completely understand another, because language is always in some degree subjective; and that subjective understanding of language also determines how we perceive reality.

    5) Exercise, meditation, and critical scientific thinking makes my time on this planet so much more worth it - and those components might very well be the keys to success in the future of our species as well.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Speak calmly, don't yell - that is, when you're trying to convince someone to see your point of view. Yelling will only make them put their guards up.
    2. Learn to look at your life as a comedy sitcom. If you can automatically imagine an audience laughing when something slightly unfortunate happens, you're already there.
    3. If you can do something about a problem, then don't worry. If you can't do anything about it, then don't worry.
    4. Be skeptical about all claims you hear. Don't be a fool: research a claim before jumping on the belief wagon.
    5. Reality TV is (one of) the most mind numbing inventions ever achieved.
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    Jun 7 2012: Glad you asked! Made me think..
    1) Although there is so much suffering, the world is a wonderful place - made me happier
    2) Each of us is more beautiful and stronger than we ever believed - made me love people for what they are
    3) Have respect for each opportunity and give it your best shot - made me have less regrets
    4) I love the people around me but I learnt that there are things you must do alone - made me accountable and responsible
    5) The only competition is against yourself: constantly challenge yourself, want more for yourself and those you love - made me a better person
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Believe in action rather than words.
    2. Self Respect and respect for others.
    3. Gratitude for nature, all good work and to my well wishers.
    4. Hope for best, be ready for worse approach.
    5. Be happy and keep everyone around happy. (toughest)
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Never ever just believe whatever they say. Even if he or she is your role model. Always experience it than believe it.
    2. Never take anything for granted.
    3. Care for things which actually matters.
    4. No matter how intelligent or thoughtful you are. A real change comes from real action only.
    5. Think ahead of time.

    Few more...
    1. It's really important to express yourself through thoughts, words and action. You get to know yourself better when you express yourself.
    2. There are no rules and don't waste time making one.
  • Jun 7 2012: My lessons are captured in some fantastic quotes:
    1) "If you don't like something, change it. If you can't change it, change your attitude. Don't complain." ~ Maya Angelou
    2) “If you’re not prepared to be wrong, you’ll never come up with something original.” ~ Ken Robinson
    3) “Gravity is hard to dispute, and breathing, but a lot of things we instinctively obey are a lot of old tosh” ~ Russell Brand
    4) Nothing in this world that is worth having comes easy, however: “You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take” ~ Wayne Gretzky
    5) “One simple question — “What’s the worst that could happen?” — is all you need to learn to do anything” ~ TIm Ferriss
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    Jun 7 2012: 1) Listen. Always stop and listen. Even if it is just the wind blowing thru a tree, take a moment and listen.
    2) Observe. Amazing what a difference it makes when you can notice little details (not to critique, but to complete the image)
    3) Separate. John at work and John at home are very different. Dont mix the worlds or you will burn out.
    4) Learn. Never ever stop learning. Like Neil deGrasse Tyson says: “know more today about the world than I knew yesterday"
    5) Pets: Simple fact, my dogs and cats do more to teach me unconditional love, devotion and patients. And no matter how bad a mood I am in, they walk up to me, put their chin on my lap, look up and me and say "get over it". Never underestimate the power of a dog or cat to put life into perspective.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Once you have a child, life as you once thought it, has an entirely new meaning.
    2. There is no one individual in this world that you can count on more than yourself.
    3. Honesty really is the best policy
    4. Don't take yourself too seriously.
    5. Having the ability to laugh at every situation makes life easier to endure
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. To consciously learn from everyone I meet.
    2. To commit random acts of kindness as much as possible.
    3. I am not alone.
    4. Terrible things happen, but most of the time they make you a stronger, wiser person.
    5. To read.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. understanding that we have the power to choose our moods.
    2. learning to get out of my comfort zone
    3. finding the good parts of being alone
    4. learning to be patient and quiet sometimes
    5. telling people how I feel and what I believe about them
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    Jun 7 2012: 1) People generally want to help you and see you succeed...even at the cost of losing themselves.
    2) Stop hesitating in going after the things you want. Pounce it like a stalking tiger.
    3) Travel the back roads - EVERYWHERE you go.
    4) Men and their penis-driven agendas are messing up the world.
    5) Women are the answer to fixing that penis-driven agenda.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1) LSD saved my life by helping me see I was always perfect in myself, never lacking, as the world had formerly taught me. 2) That all particles vibrate and the resulting waves create the physical universe (made me think of ways to change the vibration of things through any means possible; thus, altering reality). 3) That plants communicate. 4) Thoughts create reality. 5) Happiness and contentment are born only from living in the moment, for each life experience, not for the want of memories of the past or the future.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1: Understanding that family is not just about who is related to you by blood or marriage, but who you are related to by love.
    2: Learning that it doesn't matter who someone is (family, friend, or stranger) if they contribute positive things to your life, you nurture and grow that relationship, and if they only contribute negativity to your life, you let go of them.
    3: Discovering the truth to the fact that you can't be happy with someone else unless you are first happy with yourself. (i.e. you can't truly love another until you truly love yourself)
    4: Learning that it is far better to be true to yourself than to be fake for someone else. Even if you get teased for not following the crowd, if you aren't true to who you are and your beliefs, you will ultimately be happier than if you followed the crowd to avoid the mockery.
    5: Life is far more than high school. It may seem like everything at the time, but it's really only 4 years out of a much larger life. Your life does not begin and end in high school and if you live like it does, you will be miserable for the whole of your life.
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      Jun 7 2012: Amazing = Understanding that family is not just about who is related to you by blood or marriage, but who you are related to by love.
  • Jun 7 2012: Learning to write--and I don't mean creative or technical writing. Learning how to transfer my thoughts into the written word was the biggest life changer for me!
    Learning about psychology (helps to understand people and why they do what they do).
    Learning about philosophy (helps to understand what understanding is and ponder "the big questions" with the greatest thinkers in history).
    Learning to play the guitar.
    Learning which methods of relaxation help me to relax and unwind.

    Also Fonkou, I received an award for "asking questions" in third grade. I feel the same way as you do about asking questions. And apparently, do did Socrates!
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      Jun 7 2012: Awwww Rose! I guess we have something in common then! There is nothing I like more than asking questions. :)
  • Jul 4 2012: 1. I learned as a therapist to assume nothing; we all experience life differently, so what I may perceive as a problem is not necessarily a problem for someone else. You need to get out of your own way to be a real listener.
    2. You can't want more for a person than they want for themselves.
    3. One thing Buckminster Fuller said we need to learn from children is to remember to ask the big questions. This is, I think, essential in maintaining a sense of wonder.
    4. Perspective can save your life.
    5. What's said can't be unsaid.
  • Jul 4 2012: !. We are all unique and the dynamic known as "neuroplasticity" both proves and facilitates our unique capacities. 2. Spirituality is not acquiescence to supernatural hierarchy--it's rising above the dictates of animal territorialism in nature and taking risks for the advancement of good will. 3. No body is in your way but yourself but you don't get anywhere without allies. 4. Digital communications/media are more empowering than society has a clue. 5. I have more than a clue how to change things for the better.
  • Jul 1 2012: 1. Romantic love is absolutely nothing like movies, literature, and music lyrics say it is. The only rule in love is to treat each other like decent human beings, and the rest you learn by experience.

    2. My life will be nothing like that of my parents'. I won't be able to buy a house with a big backyard and pay for all my kids' university tuition. The world changes, and we must adapt to it and adjust our expectations.

    3. I will make mistakes whether or not I have someone to guide me, and it's better to make my own mistakes than someone else's. I am better off using my own imperfect judgement than trying to get other people to make decisions for me.

    4. I am on my own, and I can never fully rely on others to save me if I'm in trouble. I have to learn how to take care of myself and take responsibility for my own safety and well-being.

    5. I am not the person I thought I was. I am capable of things that I believed I would never do, given the right circumstances. It is for this reason that I learned compassion for moral transgressions in others, and learned not to judge.
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      Jul 3 2012: The redemption of number 5 domes whne you have kids- once you accept that your little darling does things you were convinced they would NEVER do, you have to turn the understanding that you have fior them and their motivations onto others and thus you will love humanity more.
  • Jun 29 2012: 1 The Indians were'nt "primitive barbarians" who deserved what they got.
    2 The Hiroshima / Nagasaki attacks were a true "holocaust"
    3 Our gold isn't in Fort Knox.
    4 That people can change for the better.
    5 "I have never been especially impressed by the heroics of people who are convinced they are about to change the world. I am more awed by those who struggle to make one small difference after another." ~Ellen Goodman (That quote keeps reminding me that quite often, I'm doing it wrong.)
    6 That philoosophy is spelled with three O's :-) {{much more fun that way}}
  • Jun 27 2012: After reading the book entitled The Seven Pillars of Health, my vision in life had completely changed. Since then I lived my life with 3 E's - Energy, Enthusiasm and Empathy. To round up this list to five and to add years to my life I added prayer/meditation and appreciation of the wonders of the world and nature everyday. So far, I am enjoying life and contented of what I have now.
  • Jun 27 2012: 1. LOVE
    2. toughness
    3.diligence
    4. positive thinking
    5.generous
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    Jun 26 2012: 1. Do not be afraid to be yourself
    2. The future is something to look forward to, not to be feared
    3. The possibilities are endless
    4. You really can do anything/be anything you choose.
    5. You get out what you put in.

    check out my blog if you like, embrace-the-space.com
  • Jun 26 2012: I'm Still in High School Senior Year...
    Last Year of School....


    I guess If You Havnt MaDe a SiNgle MistAke.,.
    You havnt Started LiVinG....

    So I WiSh Every One To anothEr Life Full Of MistakeS...

    Cheers To Life...
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    Jun 26 2012: Hi Fonkou What an inspiring question. Thank you for encouraging me to reflect on my life. My 5 things are:
    1) Nothing stays the same - life is always changing, 2) Learn to love yourself and others will love you, 3) You can do anything IF you believe in yourself 4) Smile and the world smiles with you, 5) Life becomes precious when you realise it is finite. I am sure I could think of more but these 5 things are probably the things that changed my life most.
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    Jun 25 2012: hey fonkou,
    i just regestired in ted few minutes ago,dont know much about this,but seems i m gonna enjoy my time here :)
    about ur question let s see:
    1 believe in urself & ur abilities ,what ever happen u dont know what u r capable to do in tough situations
    2 great things started first with an idea
    3 starting day with a smile makes different
    4 as they say "late better than never"
    5 not only working but loving ur work make it easy & entertaining
    wish for u z best fonkou & dont worry about tomorrow ,worry about tomorrow may steel joy of today
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    Jun 25 2012: 1. Kids can save a life http://www.dailygood.org/view.php?sid=197

    2. Every minute is precious and can be the last one.

    3. While chasing dreams; even before the hardest fall- universe provides the means to survive.

    4. Gift-economy is magical.

    5. Truth - is silent, powerful and travels without words.
  • Jun 25 2012: You are right. I should have said "most".
  • Jun 23 2012: 1) It's alright to say no.
    2) For everything you hear, don't right away absorb. Analyze!
    3) Saving in the bank is not at all beneficial. Invest.
    4) In your youth, always do the right thing. You don't have to waste your old age regretting.
    5) In discontent, whining will not get you anywhere. Get out of the system.
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    Jun 23 2012: 1)everything needs a balance and to see it will give true wisdom
    2)love is the truest feeling so always believe in love. Love doesnt make you hurt, it's yourself or people that hurt you.
    3)not everything will go right in order to be happy so work hard at it and when you fall always get up
    4)life is wonderful because you can make it wonderful
    5)Always smile. It lights up your day and others too
  • Jun 23 2012: 1. Be kind - especially to those you care about and who care about you. You never know when you'll lose the chance to return the favour.

    2. Life is much more enjoyable when you view the glass as half-full (rather than half-empty). Some people might say you're overly optimistic - even naive; but this is YOUR life, and that's just some people's opinions. :)

    3. See value in others. Everyone has a story to share. Be humble, and you can learn something valuable from the most unexpected places.

    4. "Where there's a will, there's a way." Never give up on something you really care about.

    5. "Have the strength to accept the things you cannot change, the courage to change the things you can, and the wisdom to tell the difference." Wise words to live by.
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    Molly O

    • +1
    Jun 22 2012: There is nothing impossible, with God, you know nothing about the truths of life, miracles happen everyday-you just dont notice, the holy spirit is alive and well in all his manifestations, in all cultures, with each breath, Love is a divine gift, let it in, and pass it on, to all of you who no longer believe in "soul-mates", use another term, twin -souls, your best friend, I am 51 and I have found him. Ask and the door shall be opened. I never stop asking questions, and wondering, and learning about myself and the world.
  • Jun 22 2012: A 5 point mantra that i try to apply to everything i do in my life....

    1. Everything in Life is A to B
    2. If it is tough you are doing it wrong
    3. God grant me the serenity to accept the things i cannot change, the courage to change the things i can and the wisdom to know the difference.
    4. Always find a way ... thats what winners do
    5. Never Quit
  • Jun 21 2012: 1. I cannot solve terminally ill children's medical problems no matter how much my young mind wishes I could.
    2. I am not going to become a sports player but it should not deter my love of sports.
    3. I have an issue with my English writing abilities yet I have remarkable memory skills with Maths AND English.
    4. Richard Dawkin's amazing TED conference - http://www.ted.com/talks/richard_dawkins_on_militant_atheism.html
    5. That Religion is not for me.
  • Jun 20 2012: My happiness is my own responsibility.
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    Jun 16 2012: 1. Quantum mechanics proves that universes can appear out of nothing.

    2. Moores law will collapse by 2020.

    3. Americas phd canidates compete at the level of third world countries.

    4. You only experience half the time of normal people when your at the edge of a black hole.(not past the event horizon. time stops here.)

    5. Gravitomagnetism can allow for a time-space bend.
  • Jun 16 2012: - I was 6-7 y.o. (40 years ago) when my teacher asked a question - why do clouds move? I was sure I knew the answer – the Earth was a rotating ball, the clouds were static, thus their movement was just an illusion. She replied that it was actually a wind, but I dismissed her explanation as uneducated and simplistic. It took me a while (had to ask some trustworthy adults) to realize that my views could be dead wrong. I try to consider other opinions and arguments ever since.

    - A bit later I understood what death actually was. A terrifying experience!

    - Everything is relative. This was my teen-age discovery.

    - Don’t be afraid to tell the truth. This early discovery made my life easier, but I still didn’t master it.

    - When I was a young lab technician my boss gave me a boring assignment. Couple of days later I complained. In response he took a broom and started sweeping a floor, while calculating the most efficient way of cleaning, using math and physics. I learned that any work could be fun, it all depends how you approach it.

    - And, of course, books.
  • Jun 16 2012: Walk, talk, read, think, and love.

    Sixth would probably be managing to use the touch screen on my smartphone. ;-)
    • Jul 2 2012: Very simple but when you think about each and every of these things then you could easily find them very meaningful! Like your answer!
  • Jun 16 2012: 1.Hearing your heart
    2.Finding your love
    3.Keep your balance
    4.Doing anything at right time and right place
    5.You are not a superman.
  • Jun 13 2012: here are my 5 things...
    1.Understanding what life is? (Analyse)
    2.Understanding how the life should be? ( Comparing )
    3.How can i make it better? ( Improving )
    4.what about others if i do so? ( Caring )
    5.Finallly the sentence "I Can Do It" ( Implementing )
    these 4 questions and final sentence made my life to change....
  • Jun 13 2012: 1) TIME IS MONEY
    2) FOLLOW UP YOUR PARENT'S OPINION
    3) READ BOOKS
    4) LEARN ANOTHER LANGUAGE
    5) SEARCH YOUR VALUABLE DREAM AND GOAL
  • Jun 9 2012: One more important one: It is a fact that a new cell phone or new car will become normal to you in at most about 3 weeks. Always choose experience over materialistic wants. Experience lets you learn, gives you memories, and lets you breath.
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    Jun 8 2012: 1. Giving first priority Education.
    2. Sharing Smile.
    3. Wasting Less Time
    4. Keep Social Issue in Mind and Try to solve.
    5. Lastly Finding way to go Green And Try to aware to others.

    Thats All..
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    Jun 8 2012: Well Fonkou,
    A really interesting question , well here are the 5 things that I have learnt:
    1) Communicating effectively with people after going through useful books,links and blogs
    2)Learnt Piano on my own since I was passionate about music
    3)To Love one's parents espescially when they are scolding as that is what makes them happier
    4)Respond to situations rather than reacting
    5)Keeping updated myself on latest technologies and ideas on TED

    Regards,
    Bharath
  • Jun 8 2012: 1) Love is the answer
    2) The awe/fear of holding up to ourselves something greater, will grow us into nobility and our highest selves.
    3) Wisdom brings prosperity and allows one to serve before kings.
    4) Whether we think we can or can't we are right, faith can move mountains
    5) Think positive of ourselves and others always.
  • Jun 8 2012: I was thinking about this very topic just this morning on my drive to work. Things I learned that have had an actual impact on how I actually live my life.

    (1) Reading Steven R. Covey's book the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People - this taught me to prioritize and organize my time. I'm so glad I read this. It impacts my life every day, especially my work.

    (2) Praying to ask if the Book of Mormon and the church was true. No answer to prayer has ever had a more profound effect on how I have chosen to govern my life.

    (3) How to Win Friends and Influence People. Such a true, true book. I strive to actually implement the principles, although I have a very long way to go.

    (4) I heard a talk once saying that we should read our scriptures for 30 minutes a day. It took me nearly a year to get over the idea that I thought this was very demanding, but I decided to live it. It has impacted my life every day for the last 13 years.

    (5) I heard a quote that I believe came from Ghandi that hearing different points of view helps us better arrive at the truth. This idea actually helps me listen better on a day-to-day basis, because there is a perspective I know I cannot get without hearing something that does not echo my own thoughts.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. All of life's great truths are contained in paradoxes.
    2. People from different locations and cultures are fundamentally the same . But there are cultural differences that separate us that are almost impossible to fathom..
    3. A life unexamined is not worth living. But too much introspection destroys the joy of life.
    4. Life is hard. But once we understand that, it ceases to be hard. (m Scott peck)
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. Be grateful
    2. Ask questions to seek clarity in all things
    3. Trust your instinct
    4. Honour your deepest passion
    5. Love when you least expect to
  • Jun 7 2012: Never assume you know what's going to happen in the next 5 minutes, let alone the next 5 years - be flexible

    It's ok to fail as well as to succeed - its how we learn

    Every species, including us, needs a safe and healthy environment

    It's hard to be happy if the people that you love aren't happy

    Be proud of who you are, rather than trying to be someone you're not
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Not to take anything for granted: a car, a home, a job you love… these things don't come easy to some people.
    2. Open more and more doors in your mind: always ask questions, look at every side of the picture. There is always more to find out.
    3. Don’t judge yourself by the way you think people is thinking of you.
    4. Think about the details of what is it that you want to achieve, how you want to achieve it, and when. It's not easy as it seems but it most likely to work.
    5. Become aware of your effect on people around you. Try to be positive and smile – A LOT!
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Change can't be avoided and shouldn't be avoided. It's the essence of life and it can make you happy if you accept it and try to get the best out of it.

    2. Always try to spend your time by doing something that you like, something that can make you grow. Try to make everything with love and passion.

    3. Life is much easier with friends. So invest time in friendships, because they are one of the most important things in life. Help as much as you can and be kind to the people around you.

    4. Surround yourself with positive persons and people from which you can learn and avoid the presence of pessimistic/negative people. The entourage has more influence on you than you think.

    5. Communication is the key for solving any problem. Be true to yourself and to others and you will live a healthy and happy life.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1- Street smarts and self education are just as valuable as formal knowledge
    2- Intuition first... the gut never lies
    3- Emotional and spiritual health are equally important as physical wellness and deserves to be nutured, not ignored or discounted (feelings ARE real)
    4-Wandering doesn't always equal being "lost"
    5-Never trust a gossip!
  • Jun 7 2012: Although you asked for 5 things that I learned that has completely changed my life, my answer shall be resumed into only one thing. The reason I'm gonna do that is because, despite everything I learned throughout my life that had an amazing impact in my view of the world, it is pointless to name futile things that applies only to me now.

    So, the most important thing that I learned is that people never change. No matter how much we want to change, we never will. When I speak about this topic it is common to have people telling me how wrong I am, giving me examples of people that has changed, telling me how they themselves have changed, and so on. But when that happens it is usually because they don't understand the concept of self. Simply putting it, everyone has an "essence", this essence is the responsible for all your tastes and behaviors, it is basically the reason why you like (or not) stuff.
    Let's say, for example, that you like playing video games. The reason you like playing video games is a particular set of patterns that only applies to you, being that the colors of the screen, the feeling of achievement, the way you can be somewhere else, or whatever the pattern set is. This basic and particular set of patterns is your "essence", and it is unchangeable, no matter how bad you want to change it, you simply can't.

    Knowing this is useful because you can't change yourself, but you can always change what you want. Learn your patterns, your essence, and use it. Manipulate yourself with the right tools and you will be able to do everything you want. No matter how bad you hate something (like studying, or reading...) if you learn how to manipulate your own essence, you may turn it into something you love.
    So when people think they have changed, they haven't. The only thing they have changed is what they wanted, but not who they are.

    Always remember, you will learn things that will change your life. But the most important thing you can ever learn... is yourself.
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    Jun 7 2012: 1) Expect the unexpected.
    2) You can love someone more than yourself.
    3) Humanity is an amazingly strong, beautiful and courageous species.
    4)You CAN do it even if you think you can't.
    5) The worst thing that ever happened to you can transmute into the very best thing.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Every single star you could possibly see is something quite like the sun, many are significantly larger.
    2. Human beings are animals and we forget we ought to be sharing Earth with the hundreds of millions of other species.
    3. All animals depend directly on plants.
    4. There's no such thing as an unimportant life form.
    5. The time you have is short, it should be enjoyed and made the most of.
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. Say Yes When You Can, and No When You Must
    2. Showing up is 80% of success (Woody Allen)
    3. Have a "Yes, And" attitude
    4. You haven't lost the game until you quit
    5. Only you can prevent forest fires
  • Jun 7 2012: 1 - Mind my own business
    2 - Know my limits
    3 - Be present
    4 - Listen
    5 - Accept and Surrender
  • Jun 7 2012: 1. How to accept defeat and learn from all fallbacks
    2. We are the captains of our destiny, and the ship of life can be steered by us
    3. However, there is a Power above and beyond us. We cannot fight that.
    4. Whatever happens, is for the best. The dots now will fit in the puzzle tomorrow
    5. What goes around comes around. You get repaid for every single deed you do
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    Ryan P

    • +1
    Jun 7 2012: 1. How to conveniently eat healthy (proper nutrition with minimal effort, avoiding all common food allergens).
    2. Why to eat healthy (ie. seeing the results first-hand, experiencing the benefits, understanding why the cost is worthwhile).
    3. How to live healthy (identifying a combination of location, lifestyle, and types of exercise that work well for me).
    4. How to be happy (identifying ways of thinking and facets of daily life that lead to personal fulfillment for me).
    5. The importance of being one's own advocate (nobody else will do it better).
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    Jun 7 2012: 1. No one else life revolves around yours
    2. Exercise DOES cure everything.
    3. Although tough to accept, be thankful for what you have.
    4. Everybody has an agenda.
    5. True altruism may not exist.
  • Jun 7 2012: learning about Art, and being involved in the creation process - human expression is not taken advantage of or explored nearly enough
    learning to read - the ability to gather information and make connections between them helps guide your decision making process
    love - I had it once, still do as a memory, but knowing the possibilities gives me hope
    decisions / choices - a single decision can change your whole future existence
    physical fitness - once you know how it feels to be in great shape, you will never want to let it go. Your body is one of the the most important tools you have.
  • Jun 7 2012: That you should do what you love.
    That learning how to learn, is more useful and just learning something.
    To always look at the bigger picture.
    Success at anything is directly proportional to the sacrifice that came before it.

    And the notion that your scope of knowledge is but a drop in an ocean. Being an 'expert' just means your drop is bigger than most.
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    Jun 7 2012: This is my answer:
    1. Learn to read.
    2. Learn to write.
    3. Learn to paint & draw.
    4. Learn to imagine.
    5. Learn to talk.
  • Jun 7 2012: Learning that I -and only I - am responsible for my life.
    Learning that it's fine to be happy.
    Learning that it's fine for life to be easy.
    Learning that it's better to listen than talk.
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    Jun 7 2012: learning to speaking because i have been speaking since i learnt.
    learning to using computer.My computer is nearly my whole life, i think it is the best invention.
    learning to English. ı like being able to communicate everyone all over the world thanks to English
    learning to take photos. it is my popular activity
    learning to say no(ı can not say no before short time but now i learnt.sometimes, thinkimg huct only you is the best!) :)
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    Jun 7 2012: These are philosophies I have developed as I went through my high-school life
    1- Don't have expectations, but do hope for the best.
    2- Do anything that makes you happy, but not at the expense of others(' happiness/health)
    3- Accept the truth and work around it. (e.g. If you are skinny, then you are skinny. If you don't like being skinny, then find ways to eat healthier and exercise.)
    4- Try before giving up. (You never know you may succeed- life is full of chances)
    5- Take opportunities (If you miss out too much, you will feel regret and you will realize how much you could've done and accomplished)
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    Jun 7 2012: Interesting question. Here are my answers:
    1. Learn English as a second language. I suddenly had access to most of the world's information ;)
    2. Printing & editing business (family business, I learnt how a book or ad is made and print).
    3. Graphic design (it is very useful everywhere I got in every job position I am).
    4. Computer programming (although I have basic knowledge, I learnt to think in algorithmic and problem solving).
    5. Finance (helps me plan and manage my life, studies, projects, work, ventures, etc.)
  • Jul 6 2012: My 5 things:
    1. Follow your intuition.
    2. No let fear to guide you.
    3. Life doesn't depend on other people's presence. We are always able to overcome abandonment.
    4. The only real responsability we have in life is to be happy.
    5. It is possible to live the way we dream.
  • Jun 27 2012: *) There is only one God and that's one undeniable truth

    *) Sometimes some people might feel disappointed, different and complete failures but the truth , and the reason for that, is that they are the only ones who are right, when everyone else is wrong, and facing everyone could become a painful journey. That's the point where either a great person is born to change the humanity lives, or a very sad story is born.

    *) Some might overlook this but, parents are the key for happy successful life, and I strongly believe that the thermometer of people happiness would stand at the same degree of their parents satisfaction on them as their children. And obeying doesn't always mean doing what they say but it means being always there.

    *) Confidence and faith in oneself potential is the turning point of someone who could be a scientist or the archive worker of scientific research labs, the pilot or just a passenger on that plane, and most painfully the lawyer or the prisoner.

    *) The most important one is to put your trust in God and always have good faith in God's plans for you whatever happens because in my religion Allah the Almighty said:" I am as My servant thinks I am" if you believed good things will happen they will, even if they apparently look bad or harmful for example accident or someone's death but with good faith you will eventually realize that it happened for a wise reason it was for your favor and best interest. Always pray and seek guidance from God and God shall guide you.

    Best Regards
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    Jun 27 2012: I'm not sure those completely changed my life, but they changed it :

    life is good ! (sound trivial, but i know what suffering means)
    time is choice ! (past is gone, any instant builds a future past..)
    death is nonsens ! (where did we get the idea something can stop ?)
    people daydream all the time.
    people believe they have a leader.
    people believe what they believe other people believe.. (infinite recursion here!)
    although we all feel alone to some extend, it's impossible to really be.
    all words are polysemic & words make world(s).
    any good idea can produce the worst result.

    kids are usually smarter than their parents. (at least, my daughter is ;-)
  • Jun 26 2012: weakness, fail, betrayal, captivity and fear.
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      Jun 26 2012: Sorry Varlan but I get stuck on number one. As i have said before, it might not be a bad thing but who knows for sure. I have yet to interview anyone who returned (although i have read books) but they were not compelling enough to get me to make the trip when i had the chance in December.
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        Jun 26 2012: Debra, in regards to his first one, could he have meant it from the viewpoint of both the person who was in habitual, terrible pain that precluded his/her demise as well as the loved ones who witnessed it? That is what came to my mind the second time I read and thought about it.
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          Jun 27 2012: Excellent perspective Linda! That makes good sense to me.
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          Jun 27 2012: Varlan, I hope it is no insult to say that you remind me of me when I was young. So many thoughts whizzing through your brain and so much certainty! I thought I knew how i felt about death (and I am not afraid of it per se but not thrilled about launching out on someone else's time table). Now I know that you do not know until you have faced it down. Living is a real good thing and we must all experience death - all of us must- so why not let us do it in our own time?
  • Jun 25 2012: Well, I'm 28 and about to start a new chapter in my life, I'm far from having the full picture,but here's what I've learned so far:

    1) Never associate yourself or befriend anyone out of pity or someone that is beneath you. It may happen accidentally, but once detected, break off the relationship immediately.

    2) We are all essentially apes with iphones. Though our technology, culture and society have advanced exponentially we still bear many animal instincts that we'll likely have for a long time to come. Proper application of this knowledge as a reality filter has great predictive power.

    3) We are spiritual beings. I'm not sure how or why, but we are.

    4) The meaning of life may be to have as many fit offspring as possible so that one day some distant progeny may actually know what the meaning of life is

    5) Love is a chemical
    • Jun 26 2012: Well Ozel

      there is a quote my teaher used in one of our classes at high school..

      "We are not human beings having a spiritual experience
      but Spiritual beings having a human experience "

      Cheers ....
      And Hope You make A lot More Mistakes in Your Upcoming Life...

      I really want you to think about the previous line..

      tc
      • Jun 26 2012: I completely agree with that quote.

        Some high school you went to...

        Cheers
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    Jun 23 2012: Dear Rafi,
    Check this out and I hope it helps you, Inshallah...

    http://www.successfactors.com/blogs/business-execution/the-no-asshole-rule/
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    Jun 23 2012: FYI: asshole is slang for stupid, mean, or contemptible people and as you age you will understand.
    Have a great day.....
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    Jun 22 2012: 1. life is short.
    2. enjoy life.
    3. never work with assholes as: see number 1.
    4. love your family.
    5. happiness is what matters.......
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    Jun 22 2012: 1. Skill alone will NOT get you to the promise land.
    2. Success mirrors how well you have conformed to the majority.
    3. My Mom is what UNCONDITIONAL love means.
    4. Love does not mean you need to be around that person at all times.
    5. There is nothing more difficult than Inevitable change. (i.e. Balding, Aging, When you realized that you are too old to go to that party)
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    Jun 20 2012: What a great question.

    Your Whisperer/Intuition speaks.....listen
    Money is right up there with oxygen
    Mind your mind
    Children are the best part of us
    Persist......always
  • Jun 19 2012: 1. Money really is everything, because you can't live without it. The people who say money isn't important are the ones who already have enough of it.
    2. Social skills are 80% of what gets you anywhere in life.
    3. You cannot do anything you want in life. Not even wild animals can.
    4. Pride is one of the primary causes of misery.
    5. Most people are not particularly good at anything. Most people are, by definition, average. So don't be so hard on yourself.
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      Jun 21 2012: One of the most astoudning lessons that I took from my MA in psych/neuro is that socio ecoonomic staus is the best predictor of outcome in every circumstance. that means if you are wondering who will get cancer, mental illness, be beaten, or who will live longest, be well read, breast feed their babies or suffer a heart attack (I wish I could be more illustrative off the top of my head) all you have to do is look at income level. Scary!
  • Jun 18 2012: ?
  • Jun 18 2012: since I started highschool I have learnt many things
    1) your minds a muscle, it must be worked out
    2) find what you enjoy before you try post secondary (I epicly failed because of this)
    3) don't let others tell you who/what to be
    4) a very important thing I learnt about myself, I hate being indebted to others and hate having others indebted to me
    5) to take life slow, there is plenty of time for everything you have to do so enjoy it while you can
  • Jun 17 2012: I'm a kind of warrior since i was a kid, i fight for everything i want, i put my effort into it, i try to understand what i have to do and i do my best to get it. i did lots of mistake but i am there to correct it and hope and do hope i can make it better in each day. i won't call there are things that really change my life; i still struggle to live my life is the same society, same workforce, living with same family..., but there are many things changing my attitude to life; 1). if i don't love myself who will love me, 2). If i don't help myself first, how i can help others 3). there is night and day so life is with sorrow and happiness, look at nature, learning that the sky after rain is so beautiful 4). I pay forward ! i got this life attitude from the movie, called"pay it forward" that is so true, and we as a small one person on this planet, we do can change the world, its true, we can ... if you see people in deep shit, and you see that you can help, help ! Help without hesitation, help without expecting any return, help them so that they can help others. Though you don't get anything in return.. once that person help others, i KNOW it is really big return i get back 5). I learn that we are born, and we die and this is nature cycle of life and that is so beautiful. Just accept it, new born babies is a bless, while those we love pass away, but you know as i know they will always be with you in good memory. We all will end our life in short or longer time, and learning like that drives me to do more of each day, do whatever good deed i can.. wishing i will remain in my family and my friends and people's memory as long as possible. and those 5 truth i have learned by years change my life attitude and i am living mylife with it..
  • Jun 16 2012: - I had learned that nobody in thisworld but your parent can love you without conditions. They love you with all their heart and mind, happy to burn into tears when you spoke the first word. So how to make them happy as much as possible is the first thing i care about in my current life. Having a happy family with my lover is just the second thing in my mind.
    - I had learn that the opposite of "love" is not "hate", it's difference. You cannot love someone not because you hate him, just because there are nothing similar between you, difference in perception, in thinking, and even the plan in your lives. When there are too much differences, there is a long distance between 2 people that you cannot filled in despite how effort you make.
    - I had learned that you will gain nothing if you keep complaining everything, that the life is so unfair, people is not good. You have to learn that nobody's perfect and the life is fair by its own way
    - Sometimes, you have to believe in destiny.
    - And love is the most beautiful thing in this world....^^
  • Jun 16 2012: It only took learning one thing to completely change my life,

    Forgiveness is a concious, unconditional and non negotiable act of self love.

    That is my truth. I don't axpect it to be yours, but if it is then you know the freedom that comes from it.
  • Jun 16 2012: Completely changed your life is:
    Faith
    God
    money
    Peace
    Makes another lifes aroud of you better and happy.
    Goes to Africa, India (poor people)... and you can see how your life is wanna changed.
  • Jun 15 2012: Fair point! Yes I was rambling rather. However as one of the generation that was taught the technique of precis in English at school here goes:1. Philanthropy - the love of your fellow human (and yes this beautiful planet we live on is only a priority in relation to the quality of human lives - think about it!)2.Nothing is 'certain' or 'permanent' we are all leaves in the wind at one important level (but there are other levels too)3.The best metaphor/model for life that I have found it to look at it as a journey – some of it off piste!4.There are so many almost invisible vulnerable people everywhere - so easily overlooked (Hey I think Jesus was making this point!)5. ‘That which does not kill you makes you stronger’ – life can be tough but you can survive and be wiser/strongerAnd there were five things! 145 words
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    Jun 15 2012: 1. when i started to touch my parents feet before every work...
    2. support of my brother
    3. school
    4. admission in engineering
    5. First tym when i spoke lie to my father and he kindly teaches me the value of telling truth instead of scolding..
  • Jun 15 2012: the earth science
    astronomy
    e=mc2
    reason
    home
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    Jun 15 2012: Can anyone tell me if there is anything that happens in our life without leaving a trace?
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      Jun 15 2012: How very wise and how very true..so the idea might be to live our lives, think our thoughts, speak our words in a way that leaves a trace that serves life and humanity.



      Do you know the Flower Garland School of Buddhism? Infinite interpenetration. Each of us unique, uniquely and critically needed..always in every moment what we say and do and perhaps even think penetrating into others into all sentience; all others, all other sentiences penetrating into us.i.
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        Jun 15 2012: that would be the meaning of life I believe but with or without any intention you have mentioned, everything is connected in a way that so called ' trace' is just inevitable...the question mark stays after ' what are our intentions'...
        • Jun 16 2012: Are we always fully aware of our true intentions ?
          I guess,true intention is a 'function' of what/who we really are not what we think we are.
          Maybe there is a realm a kind of 'mental space', like Plato Forms, where only true intentions matter.
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        Jun 15 2012: whether we call it ' infinitive interpenetration' or ' butterfly affect' the common believe though it s not yet been proven scientifically, is; the initiate energy of the universe stays the same regardless of intertransfer within the forms. Simply; a questioned has been asked by a someone, you have left a reply spending your time ( which is also a form of energy) and I have left one too. then you commented on my reply and now we are exchanging our knowledge and experince..

        on the other hand, I am still more concerned about the intention which we usually keep the big deal of it for ourselves..
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          Jun 15 2012: I understand. But I think the question is about our 'defining moments.' You know, those times when God and the universe smack you upside the head with a 2x4 and you go, "Oh, I get it now."

          Yes every experience leaves a trace. But some leave a great big giant mark. So what are your marks?
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          Jun 15 2012: Linda,

          the five things I listed and this core realization of the reality of infinite interpenetration is my 2X4!!!

          All of those coming together within me, within my awareness is what "hit me up side the head" and landed me really at the ground of being in a place that was always there, always available, often at work but more often thwarted or hidden.

          "eureka" moments are often the final piercing through of a long ongoing process..it's the monet when all those pieces suddenly aline with one naother and fall into place. Don't you think?
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          Jun 15 2012: Well I think we make eureka moments a long ongoing process. Typically we are given the same lesson over and over until we get it. But we sometimes put up barriers. And that's when the use of a 2x4 is necessary. If we could just be more aware and seek out teachers, perhaps the journey could be less rocky. But maybe not.

          I have this friend, she is working on marriage #3 to the same type of guy. Unemployed, needy, whiny. All the same reasons she divorced the first two. I have tried to subtly point out the pattern to her but she can't hear it right now in the wash of endorphins. I am just waiting for the 2x4.
    • Jun 15 2012: time will wipe out all trace nothing can stand against it
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        Jun 15 2012: I am not so sure about that. I think somehow it is a form of energy and endures through time..not quite sure how..but I think it is all still available to us..or wheiver follows us..anyway I try to live my life from that thought..just in case I am right....
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          Jun 16 2012: I like your 2x4 formula:)) That frequently happens to us all but as you say ' being aware ' is the most important trick.. when I contemplate about this century' s generations especially the ones born after 1980 I simply reach 2 basic conclusions:

          1-lucky enough to have all these uncountable technologic products
          2-too poor because isolated and limited by the same products

          Guess what my point is!! being aware is not that easy at all..

          I don't want to be seen as a hopeless one but honestly sometimes 2x4 is just helpless...

          I can never count five things that changed my life..when I look at my past I see there has been milestones move and the ones filled the gaps between these...all are just there to make a meaningful piece..

          P:S. By the way I have checked your blog though I was in no position to read any article but I'll do that shortly..
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    Jun 14 2012: Asking questions is good. But better way you should experience yourself in your life.
  • Jun 13 2012: 1) Monopoly games are free market models that always end up with someone owning everything . . . but my young niece and nephew always end up sharing their winnings. Strange lessons from a child.
    2) Music and art are expressive gifts offered that can be accepted or rejected. Stage fright is a symptom of caring about the gift.
    3) If you are willingly grateful you can realize happiness is a choice.
    4) Overzealously teaching the lessons of right and wrong to children always trumps the lesson of forgiveness. It creates a society that thinks only in black and white, a them and me dynamic. The lesson is a paradox and it's still a truth. Turn the other cheek. You are not a victim.
    5) Books will teach you things
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    Jun 13 2012: What The World Taught Me.

    Bigger is better than smaller,
    Smaller is better than big.
    Greener is better than knowing too much
    But not than not giving a fig.
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      Jun 14 2012: Yes but Scott, Is it what you really believe?. The world has taught me many things that I do not really believe.
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    Jun 13 2012: Hi Fonkou,
    Here are the 5 important things I have learnt
    1.Reading/Reasoning
    2.Typing quickly (that makes me possible to post comments on TED)
    3.Playing Piano
    4.Mimicry
    5.Counselling whenever possible

    Regards,
    Bharath
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    Jun 12 2012: Walking,talking,feeding myself,a skill,and makeing childeren
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    Jun 11 2012: 1. Chasing your goal, your dream, your passion
    2. Believe in karma - what goes around comes around
    3. Respect earth, and all the living beings on earth
    4. Follow your heart
    5. Smile :)
  • Jun 10 2012: 1.chasing my dream
    2.depending myself
    3.my family are the best.
    4,doing everything happy my family
    5.books
  • Jun 9 2012: Hmm...
    No 5 things I have learned *have* ever changed my life in a meaningful way (at least not for more than a few hours; afterwards I just forget and go back to being my good ol' self).
    Nor do I believe such instantaneous life-changing events can occur. It's like when you were a kid: did you wake up one day and really understand that you were a boy and not a girl? I don't think so; such discoveries are progressive in nature, since they are multifaceted and vague. Today you know what gender you are for x reasons, and maybe tomorrow you will have more reasons (specific knowledge of genetic variance between the sexes for example), but can you distinctly draw the line between knowing/understanding your gender and not?
    As with this example so with all knowledge that we accumulate in our lives. Knowledge is not sterile, quarantined and pure. It is always tainted with association. Life changing? I think not.
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      Jun 9 2012: In less then a second my life change forever. My left hand touched my left leg and I realised I couldn't feel my leg.(s). I had fallen off a motorbike and broke my spine, totally damaging my spinal cord. I have not walked or felt any sensations at all from my stomach down from that moment. Now, 9 years on, do I consider it life changing? TOTALLY! And it has COMPLETLEY changed my life. (For the better!) YAY!
  • Jun 9 2012: 1. Educate yourself.
    2. Always take the harder route when it comes to learning things. It always pays off in the end.
    3.Pay attention to little things people will do. It gives you a better idea of what they're all about and how trustworthy they are.
    4.Be cold-hearted when needed.. but when an opportunity comes that that you can help someone who's in need, help them. You will feel great after.
    5. Make sure you always keep happiness and success close to one another.

    I'm only 19, so this may not be good advice due to the fact that I haven't had as much experience as most people on here. These are just things I have noticed and seem to work best for me.. maybe one day I'll realize I was wrong about some things.
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    Jun 7 2012: Things that have completely changed my life (you could take them as lessons if you want to):

    *Bespoke moulded earplugs that really work - revolutionary
    *A Philips Sonic electric toothbrush - like your teeth have been professionally polished every day
    *An Apple laptop - the first computer I ever had that actually worked properly
    *The Artist's Way by Julia Cameron (not sure if it was for the better, but the course blew my world apart)
    *Strong herbal sleeping tablets (hops and valerian). No price can be put on decent sleep.
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    Jun 7 2012: Relativism
  • Jun 7 2012: 1) I and only I am responsible for my life. Regarless of what happend to me I am responsible for the now and the future it will create.I like the example of how if you get run over you are still the person who have to go to rehab not the person who hit you over.

    2) I have to wake up earlier everyday (!) to build my spirit up with postitv messages Before I start my day to keep the negative thougts at bay(videos,books,sermons e.g Joel Osteen, Charles Stanley, TD Jakes). This helps me know that God is always with me no matter how out of control I may feel.

    3) A clear mind is a must to be able to live fully! Get some therapy, write a journal and deal with all the issues from the past. And have a system to" clean out the system" reguraly. A journal is fine a coach is even better. And the more yo know yourself the more you will understand yourself and the more you understand yourself the more you will love yourself. And thats where it all starts; with knowing who you are and accepting what was is not a reflection of who you are today.

    4) Give away money everyday; even if it's just 1 cent !I promise in 29 days your life will have completely changed. You will feel more powerful and just that will translate in to a new you.

    5) Always have a plan (get a good book!) on how to deal with Finances, Workout regim, Managing Relashionships, Time Managment, Goal setting and my Spiritual life.